Warnings: suggested content, lots of angst and flashbacks. Mentions of death, sad times and alcohol abuse. This carries on the life you and Jimin get to have after graduation.
A/n: it's finally time to say goodbye to these characters.. When I first started this supposed to beone-shot, I hadn't expected it to grow so big. Thank You for all of your love and support through these two!
P.s: you can find this series up on my masterlist. With love 💜
The first thing he always says when something major is about to happen.
The blue sky’s streak across earth’s glow, as the sound of a melody you’d only heard on coming-of-age films. Almost five years it took you to get here. Standing at the podium as class representative for the future generation who’s about to walk into the new life. Your eyes scan across the filled metal chairs, each having their own distinct and proud family member for each of your classmates. Friends, spouses, cousins, brothers and sisters..
Those hadn't been in the picture. You’d sent out a long (but formal) e-mail to your mother’s email address, asking if she and your father would attend the ceremony.
After a week of no response, you decided to email your father.
Now here you stand on the stage, with nothing but a cheaply sewn gown and cap to match. Although your lips curved into the biggest smile at your awaiting future ahead, your heart torn with somber at the sight of the two seats you’d reserved for them.
After walking the stage a few feet down, passing teachers of all kinds who’d once graced you with their knowledge and wisdom, you’re met with the last one who’d given you the most to know.
The virtue of patience. Of selflessness. Of kindness.
He’d taught you to trust again.
A smile curves the edges of his lips, the rolled up decorated piece of paper slips from his hand to yours, as he flashes you a soft smile.
You could only look forwards.
Your head glances up, being met with his gaze. His eyes had hardened, much to the ones he’d flashed you every time he’d tried to stump you with a struggling question in class.
Your head shakes, mentally brushing the thoughts away before leaning back down to wrap your lips around the length of your smoothie’s straw.
His arms fold, leaning back in the booth. Knee silently tapping against the floor, as he lets out a sigh. His arms lap on the table, leaning in to lower his voice just for your hearing. “I know you really wanted them there..” Your shoulders slouch, tips of your fingers pushing the large smoothie away in repulse, no longer having an appetite.
His hand comes to lap atop yours, gently thumbing over your knuckles in comfort. “Hey.. all that matters now, is that you made it.” He stands quickly, sliding into the booth beside you, wrapping his arms to encase your figure. Lips grazing the shell of your ear, as he plants a soft kiss to your forehead.
The empty rooms echoed with space begging to be filled. Memories to be made.
White walls splash on the sides, as your feet lead your way through the apartment complex. Hands trailing delicately along the kitchen counter tops, before making your way into the last bedroom.
A small little room sat at the end of the hallway. Previous blue and green walls decorated the space, one that resembled a small child’s mind. Your lips smile at the thought. Eyes scanning over a little paint stained tucked in the corner of the bedroom. Action heroes displayed on the accent wall, as it winds and bends around to end in the open walk-in closet. You could almost hear a young boy’s voice echoing through the halls, growing closer the more it goes on. Large windows held the view’s point in place to be admired by even the coldest of hearts. One word came to your mind when exploring the new terrain.
Mornings and nights you spent falling into more of a pattern that became your lifestyle. Waking up, making breakfast, kissing him goodbye as he leaves to go plant more seeds into the minds of young ones alike.
Ever since your graduation, Jimin had brought up the idea of quitting his job at the university. Instead, he’d wanted to focus on the growth and consciousness of children. Weeks into the new move of your apartment, and he’d begin working in a local childcare center focused on aiding in troubled young children. Months later, you’d found a job working as a life coach and advocate for healthy living.
Your routines had matched up perfectly. Work during the weekdays, and home on the weekends. Dinners together, cuddles and movie nights galore. Nothing could separate the two of you.
Until.. He’d started becoming distant.
Coming home bluntly and late at night, just to slam the door in your face before you even had the chance to ask him how his day was. A hushed silence echoed through the closed door, as you could hear the sound of his vice being poured into the glass, then down his throat.
Every night, you sat slumped against the door. Feet crossed, as you just listened to him destroy himself day after day.
His kisses had no passion, the love you once had… seemed to turn to dust. The scars you had thought closed, now bursted wide open.
An infection had grown, tearing you two apart.
The door abruptly slams once more, as heavy footsteps trudge past you, and make their way towards your barely shared bedroom. You’re quick to step in before, not giving him a chance to shut you out again. He halts, as you hold yourself between him and his own death.
His eyes burned with an anger you’d never seen. As if all the light he’d once had, the hope, had been swallowed by darkness. Leaving nothing but the death of his soul behind.
Your heart shattered at the sight.
Bags of deprived-sleep drooped under his eyes, lids heavy with exhaustion begging to give in. Mouth jared and hung low in submission to his own emotions. The once vanilla and honey smell that you’d begged to sleep next to, had turned sour and bitter. Being replaced with the stench of hopelessness and alcohol.
Your feet stood firm. Ten toes on the ground, as your body inches forwards. Begging to heal whatever had stoned his heart to kneel. Yearning to touch him, in comfort. To hold the man you love.
You held the tears that had been threatening to fall, back.
“Sweetie, tell me what’s going on.” Your voice forces a light and airy tone. “We can fix this”
His head lifts slowly. The tie of his neck being undone and unkept. White collared button up had been loosely hung. His whole demeanor opposite of who you’d fallen in love with.
Before you can react, his arm shoved you out of the way, before entering the room. Before slamming the door shut, he turns and mumbles;
This time, he hadn’t come out of the bedroom in days. You’d slipped trays of his favorite meals in front of the locked door, each one coming back out completely untouched. Even the glass of water that had a handwritten note on the side, couldn’t tempt him enough.
The only time you’d been able to see him was when he left the bedroom to take a bathroom break, bottle in hand as he carried his tired figure to the restroom across the hall. On the fourth day, you’d found his body laying against the tub’s edge, projectile vomiting any substance of food he had left in his stomach.
It wouldn’t take an emergency trip to the ER in an ambulance to tell that he had been depressed. The doctor had instructed you to remove any alcoholic substances from the apartment until his body fully heals.
After laying him to rest on the living room couch, you’d decide to call his office and tell them that he wouldn’t be able to make it in the office for about a week.
“Doctor Park.. resigned from The Children’s center.”
Months had gone by, and Jimin still couldn’t open up to tell you the whole story. Only going off on what his assistant said, you could only comfort him from a distance. You’d restricted access for him from all lockable doors, making him sleep on the couch until he’d recovered. Even after the weeks he’d been spending in counseling, he still couldn’t tell you what made him reside.
Autumn leaves broke from the tree’s light grip, as the cool fall air breezes past your icing skin. Hand gently swinging alongside, entwined with Jimin’s as you two take a stroll through the park. Your head leans to the side, resting on his shoulder. For the first time in a while, you could almost see a smile on him.
Until it dropped with horror.
Turning your head at the sight, your eyebrow raises. A little boy had been bouncing on his feet to reach up and grab the balloon that had been stuck in the branch’s strong grasp. Craning your head back around, you feel Jimin’s grip on your hand tighten, as he silently leads you further away from the scene.
“I’m hungry.” His voice is cold and toneless. As if controlled by a different being.
Your eyebrow quirks, stopping in place from his grip. “We can get food later.”
Your feet plant to the ground, as his hand gets ripped from yours. “No.. No! Stop avoiding me!”
He pauses, hands falling to his side at your raised voice. “I-..I’m no-”
“Yes, yes you are! For months now, Jimin! It feels like all I am to you now is just your sad little maid here to cater to your depressive episodes. Just TELL me what’s going on so I can fix it!”
Just like that, he snaps. “You CAN’T FIX IT!”
Your eyes widen, taking a step back from his sudden outburst. Tears well in his eyes, as his body gives out, falling to his knees. You bend down, quick to pull him to your chest tightly. His arms wrap around your figure, as he mumbles soft apologies. The strange, drama-like scene definitely gets some weird looks from bystanders, but you didn’t care. The man you love,
His mouth muffled against your chest, as he sobs. “Y-you can’t bring him back..”
After a few weeks, you finally knew who ‘he’ was. The open casket had done nothing but pain Jimin’s heart ever further. His hand placed against the casket’s edge, as he bows down to the still child’s level, tears streaming down his cheeks. Hands trembling to hold onto something, as the child’s family gathers to sob in unison. Your hand places against his back, leaning down to slowly rub his shoulders in comfort. His words were mumbled and cracked, as he bid his final farewell.
The brochure the church members had handed you was all you needed to know. It all came together, now.
Had been Jimin’s patient.
The door no longer slams shut. Instead, you can finally hear the click of the door you’d left unappreciated. Jimin shoves off his shoes and coat, making his way to the bedroom. Flash backs of the months before flood your memory, and before you can stop it, your body is wedged between his path and the bedroom entrance.
Pulling your body into his, his lips press gentle marks to the side of your neck. Soft mutters blow against your skin, as his body leads the both of you into the bedroom even further.
You fall back into the bed.
His shrugs off his white button up long sleeve, tossing it to the side, before he dives back down to meet his lips with the lining of your own. His eyes bare into yours, before he’s slotting his body between your legs, grazing his lips across yours.
His “are you ready”s always seem to come at the best, and worse possible times. Usually, he asks himself more than you when talking. Because in all honesty, he’s scared to death. Not for himself, no.
This type of question, is the most difficult and easiest to answer. Eyes blown wide at the sight of eight to ten different nurses gathered around you, your hand death gripping his own as you let out a string of curses. Mainly directed at his -and he quotes- ‘stupid dick’ which you plan on cutting off with the kitchen scissors later.
He couldn’t help but look. Curiosity got the better of him, and then so did his weak stomach. Puking all over the hospital floor, next to your bed, as an extra nurse comes to assist him. You groan out, hitting his side bluntly.
“Oh YOU’RE the one puking!? What about ME-he!” Your head slams back against the pillows, eyes screwing tightly from the excruciating pain. You curse the doula you hired for suggesting a ‘natural birth’.
Curse her and her damned dream catchers.
“Your doing so great, momma. Just a few more pushes, okay?”
Your head shakes from side to side, crying out in frustration. Head turning to catch Jimin’s deer-in-the-headlights statue, as he wipes the rest of his mouth of the panda express orange chicken he had earlier that came back up to greet a second hello.
He’d never felt so scared in his life. The look in your eyes, looked like his personal death march.
His hand trembles slightly, trying to hold back onto your hand for support. Body slotting behind your own for ample support. Arms wrapped around your body, as the nurses throw out a few muffled instructions.
“Shut UP!!” You scream, sobbing out, falling back into the comfort of your imbecile lover. You’re going to kill him, you’re sure.
Your head turns to meet his gaze, screaming at him in agony. “FUCK YOU AND YOUR TINY DICK, JIMIN. I’M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN!”
He leans away slightly from your volume, rubbing your back soothingly.
You scoff, twisting your body as the nurse staff shouts out in protest. “OoOOo, Look at Lucy Lock Lips saying NOTHING!!!”
In all honesty, he’s scared to speak. Anything he says will be turned against him right now.
“F-Fucking- SAY S-somet-thing..” His heart breaks at the sight of tears streaming down your cheeks. Your face is redder than a tomato, as your black mascara runs down your face along with the tears. The pain in your eyes hurts him more than any jab a knife would ever inflict.
Your voice tethers out, cracked and weak as you fall into his arms in surrender. You didn’t want to fight this imaginary argument inside your head anymore, you just wanted to be comforted.
“J-Jimin..” Your forehead presses into his chest, as the nurse's voices draw out in the background.
"I know, I know, sweetie.." His voice is soft and soothing, resembling much of the tone that he uses everytime you have a breakdown.
Arms wrapped around your waist, he holds you in his embrace tightly. Tucking your head under his chin, as he gently tries to calm you down.
“You’re doing so good, baby. Just focus on me, okay? You got this, sweetie. You’ve got this.” His forehead pressed against yours, as he whispers gently.
In a snap of a second, it’s like your whole life has been flipped upside down. Now, the missing piece in your what seemed to be - impossible puzzle..
Everything you ever stood against, had become your reality.
And you couldn’t be happier.
Your feet crossed over one another, as you watched the little girl you had created with the man you loved dance in the line of bubbles he’d been blowing her way. The two turn to the side to glance at you, flashing two of the brightest smiles you’d ever seen. Your heart melted at the sight, as Jimin hands the bubbles to your daughter, crossing up the small hill before plopping down next to your figure.
His hand comes to rest on your thigh, as your head leans against his shoulder. Watching the living and breathing example of the love between you two, frolic in the grassy fields of the countryside.
The cotton of her baby pink dress flows in the summer’s cool breeze, as he picks up a small dandelion, blowing a wish to the seeds.
After finding out you’d been pregnant, you both decided to pack up and move to the countryside. Knowing it’d be much easier to raise a child in the soft melody of nature, rather than the busing streets of man made.
The money he’d earned from being a highly ranked professor at the university had done more than enough for providing for our family. You, on the other hand, had wanted to have a little more freedom in the work-field. After asking around, you’d found a local high school you’d wanted to counsel at.
Now, Jimin stays home and takes care of Ha-na. His experience in teaching the children at his old job had given him experience in what kids her age need to be learning, and how to teach them in a way they’d understand.
He teaches her colors, shapes, sign language, and even some different language words. He truly is the most devoted father to your baby girl, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
His eyebrow quirks, nudging your body gently with his side in a teasing manor. “Whatchya staring at? I know I’m beautiful but have grace, honey.”
You chuckle, hitting his side gently in return to the poke. “You’re ridiculous.”
A smile tugs his lips, before he’s leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek, pulling you into his arms. The two of you sat on the picnic blanket Ha-na had insisted on bringing for the outdoor tea party, watching the way she flips and turns in all sorts of directions to show off her superhero cape Jimin had picked up at the store in the city, when he took her to the Aquarium one day.
Your head lowers, resting in his lap, as your hand gently caresses the minor stretchmarks you’d acquired. Jimin’s hand comes to meet yours, he too touching the remaining memory of your baby’s growth together.
Jimin’s lips roll out a sigh, leaning down to press a soft peck to your ear, trailing it down your cheek until you have to push him away, giggling. He pouts, leaning back on his arms for support. You sit up, wrapping your arms around his body, cuddling into his side as if you’d both been back at the beach again.
His head lowers, perking a smile to his lips. “You know, you’ve got one for you now..” Your eyebrow quirks, glancing over to make sure Ha-na is still okay, before looking into his gaze. “What do you mean?”
A smirk presses his lips. “I think it’d be unfair to Ha-na to..” He trails off, making you tilt your head in confusion.
He yells out, motioning over to your daughter. “Ha-na! Come here, sweetie.” She runs up, falling into her daddy’s lap carelessly, giggling. He smiles, gripping her in a bear hug before turning them both to face you. He whispers in her ear, before they both sport a pleading look.
“Daddy wants a sibling-” Jimin's face palms.
“Ha-na, you were supposed to say that..” You giggle at the two’s miscommunication. She crosses her arms, turning in Jimin’s lap.
“No you- ugh.. Nevermind..” Jimin sulks, lowering his head in a pout. Your eyes roll playfully, before scooting closer to the both of them, pulling Ha-na from his lap.
“Were you really trying to get our four year old to say it for you?” Jimin shrugs, smiling. Your head shakes, pressing a kiss to Ha-na’s forehead, then Jimin’s.
“Well, do I have some news for you two..”
