#dad!calum

Nico was bored out of her mind. Ethan, Max and baby Rory had gone back with their moms and godmother to LA leaving her without anyone to play with. She didn't even want to watch Encanto. She was even down to play with Ashton but he was out getting a coffee run.

"No Encanto?" Calum asked when he saw the band's iPad off.

"No," she sighed, resting her head on her chin.

"Snack?" He offered her some veggie straws.

Nico simply shook her head. She pushed herself up and went to sit on Calum. She couldn't get comfortable so she moved behind him and plopped herself on his back, hugging his neck.

"Wanna go see the stage?"

"Okay." Nico nodded.

Calum saw that she wasn't wearing her velcro Vans, so he just secured her on his back. Nico was going through the phase where he had to wrestle her to put on her shows. When they reached the stage, she pointed at the Luke's mic.

"I sing?" She said.

"Yeah, as long as you don't sing Pea-"

"Peaches, Peaches," she cut him off, singing the onesong he didn't want. "Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I love you, oh. Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches. I love you, oh."

"Clap." She told him when she finished singing three renditions of the chorus.

"I can't clap because I'll drop you." Calum told her.

"Spin me."

Her dad rolled his eyes and moved towarsa the center where there weren't any cable for him to trip on. He spin slowly, but fast enough that Nico held on tighter. She let out a few nervous giggles then she squealed.

"Faster Calum." She giggled

"Who are you calling Calum?" He frowned dramatically.

They had driven with the kids over to Luke and Sierra’s house, mainly to drop off the kids with Sierra, but also to pick up Luke since he hadn’t wanted to drive. Aiden went running into the house, no problem. It’s never a problem, being that he’s not-so-secretly in love with Sierra. Calum carried Logan into the house and attempted to put him down on the couch, but the toddler squeezed Calum’s neck even tighter, nearly choking him. “Logan, you need to stay here with Auntie Sierra and your brother. We’ll be back for you in a couple hours.”

That was what set him off. The screaming started and the tears started rolling. All Calum could understand through Logan’s hysterical screaming was that Calum was leaving him. As hard as Calum tried to explain that he would be back, Logan could not expect it. Even with Mama saying she would stay with him, he still thought Calum was leaving him. Calum and Mama made eye contact and silently agreed to take the toddler with them.

On the drive to the studio, Luke kept Logan occupied, the car filled with Luke’s laughter and Logan’s laughter. It was when they arrived that Calum picked Logan up out of his car seat and told him to hold onto him until they were in the dressing room. Logan tucked his face into Claum’s neck and Calum reached back to hold onto his wife’s hand, ensuring that no one got lost. Once they were in the dressing room, that was when everything fell into a normal calm.

They were given their 5 minute warning until they had to be ready to go on stage. Calum crouched down to be at Logan’s height, who was sitting on a chair, and this was when he gave him the speech. “Logan, you have to stay with mama no matter what, okay? There are lots of people here and they’re all bigger than you, you could get lost, or get hurt. Do you understand me?” Logan nodded while swinging his legs back and forth. “That’s my boy.” Calum smiled before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Logan’s forehead.

Logan walked with his hand in his mom’s behind Calum and the rest of the guys. At some point, the guys were directed in one direction, and Logan and his mom were directed in another. One went to the stage, the other went to where they could see the stage, but off to the side. They were introduced and made their way to the stage, all four of them sitting on the couch next to the host who sat behind a desk. Calum sat on the end, Luke directly to his left, then Michael to his left, then Ashton to the next left, right next to the host. 

The host asked them questions about their new album and what was coming up in the future for the band. There were of course questions of their personal lives, the ones Calum disliked the most to answer. Calum leaned his head against his hand and listened as the other three answered the questions. Everything was going as it should, until Calum suddenly heard ‘daddy’ being called from a very familiar little voice. When Calum turned, he saw Logan running towards him, tears running down his face. In one swift motion, Logan lifted his arms, and Calum scooped him up onto his lap. Calum calmed Logan for a minute before he realized that everyone was staring at him. “Sorry, he’s going through a phase where he can’t be away from me.” Calum nervously laughed but kept his main focus on Logan.

“Oh, Calum, this is so sweet!” The host cooed excitedly, “I knew you had kids, but I can never remember how old they are. Is this your oldest or your youngest?” The host asked.

“This is my youngest,” Calum kissed the side of his head and allowed Logan to nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck, “Give me a minute to handle this.” Calum says with a soft chuckle. Calum stood, still holding Logan and walked off the stage. The camera followed him as he walked Logan back over to Mama, telling him that he had to stay with her, and that he thought he had understood that.

As soon as he reached Mama, Logan started to throw a fit, not wanting to go to his mom, and wanting to stay with Calum. Calum and Mama went back and forth about trying to get Logan to calm down, but the host spoke up, “Why doesn’t the little one join us?” Calum and mama exchanged a look, but eventually relented and Calum carried Logan back to the stage. 

Calum sat back on the couch in his spot and put Logan on his lap, facing outward. Logan swung his legs, and looked over at the host who asked, “What’s your name?”

“Logan!” he answered with a big smile on his face.

“Logan, how old are you?” The host asked again.

“This many!” Logan excitedly held up three fingers. 

“Wow, you’re so big! Logan, do you love hanging out with your dad all the time?” The host leaned forward a bit to keep Logan’s attention.

Logan nodded furiously and looked back at Calum, “Daddy’s my best friend.” The entire crowd ‘aw’d.’ Calum nearly forgot he was sitting in front of a crowd. Calum smiled at Logan and ran a finger down his cheek, simultaneously moving his hair from his face.

“Do you know the name of your daddy’s band?” Logan nodded and swung his feet, effectively kicking Calum in the shins. Calum nonchalantly grabbed his legs to spot him from kicking him. “Great, I want you to look at that camera and tell it that your daddy’s band is coming up next, playing their new song.” The host pointed, and Logan’s eyes followed.

He looked back at Calum for encouragement and Claum nodded. Logan looked at the camera and said, very shyly, “My daddy’s band, 5 Seconds of Summer, is up next.” The crowd cheered and music started playing, indicating they were headed to a commercial.

Once the commercial break had started, Calum picked Logan up and carried him off stage. “Remember how I told you to stay with mama, no matter what?” Logan nodded, “You didn’t listen.“ Logan looked down, knowing he was in a little bit of trouble. Calum kissed the side of his head, “It’s okay, but you have to stay with mama while I sing my song, okay?” Logan nodded and wrapped his arms around Calum’s neck.

“I’m sorry, daddy, I just love you.” Logan said while resting his chin on Calum’s shoulder.

Calum couldn’t help but to smile, “I love you too, Logan.” With that, they headed back to the dressing room to get ready for their performance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @talkfastromance4

            “Suspended, we have to go pick him up.” Calum was still in shock, she was moving, but he wasn’t, “Now, Calum.” She said sternly, bringing him out of his thoughts.

            They didn’t talk their entire way to the school, or while they walked into the school, or while they were directed into the office where they found Logan sitting. Logan was sitting with his arms crossed against his chest, and he was looking away from his parents. The principle gestured for them to take a seat, and they obliged.

            “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Logan is being suspended for a week due to fighting with another student, but do not fret, both students have been suspended.” The principle laced his fingers together over his desk and smiled a closed lipped smile.

            That was absolutely the least of their concerns, fighting? Fighting about what? “I’m sorry, there was a fight? Like physical?” She asked while looking at Logan who continued to ignore both of his parents.

            The principle nodded, “Yes ma’am, it seems Logan got into a little bit of a tussle with another student today at lunch causing quite a stir in the lunch room. No one was hurt, but it caused quite the disruption so I think it is best to suspend both of them so they can calm down for a bit.” That’s where the conversation died. It was a silent agreement to keep Logan at home until next week.

            It was a silent drive home, it was almost eerie, that was until Calum decided to speak up when they got home. “Logan, what happened? Tell us your side of the story so we can understand.” That was the best thing he could’ve said. Could he have said it a bit softer, maybe, but he was confused and angry, so it came out harsher than intended.

            Logan tossed his backpack onto the floor and shrugged, “Didn’t the principle already cover that?” His back continued to be towards his parents.

            Calum looked at his wife for support, “Logan, we’re not mad, we’re just trying to figure out what’s going on, you’ve never acted like this, you’ve never gotten into trouble, so why now?” She took a step forward, reaching a hand out to her son.

            Logan spinning like a flash of lightning caused her to recoil, “You guys never cared before this, why should this be any different?” Again, he turned, but in the other direction and ran up the stairs to his room. Both Calum and his wife flinched when the door slammed shut.

            Hours passed, it had been almost silent in the house, aside from the occasional ‘what do you think happened?’ usually followed by a shrug from the other person. After another few moments of silence passed, they locked eyes and with a silent agreement, they made their way up the stairs towards to closed door.

            Silently, they argued over who was going to knock, Calum ended up being the one to knock after his wife pushed him into the door. He grimaced at her as he knocked a few more times after his noisy first announcement. There was a quiet voice on the other side of the door inviting both of them into the room.

            When they made it inside, Logan was slumped in his chair, a video game chaotically playing on the TV in front of him. Calum looked back at his wife and she nudged him forward and his cleared his throat before approaching his son. “Can you please tell us what happened today? Your mom and I are worried about you.”

            Logan scoffed and without tearing his eyes off the TV in front of him answered, “Why would you be worried? You’re barely home, it’s been like that since I was a kid.”

            It was at that moment that Calum and his wife looked at each other like they completely understood everything that was happening. Calum grabbed another chair and sat next to his son, “Aiden told us a few years ago that there were kids picking on you, were these same kids the ones that caused todays fight?” Logan aggressively pressed the buttons on his controller and Calum took that as a ‘yes.’ Calum sighed, he knew exactly what was happening. “Aiden wasn’t there to protect you, I’ve never been there to protect you, you think that no one cares about you.”

            Logan’s face visually dropped for a split second before he intently went back to his video game. Calum stood up and grabbed his wife’s shoulders, “Go downstairs, I’ve got this.” His kissed her cheek and shooed her away before turning back to Logan. Logan’s eyes darted towards his dads before he pretended that all of his attention was on the video game. “Do you remember the weekend Aiden went on the trip with your mom for school? It was before Bailey was born, before we even knew Bailey was going to happen.”

            Logan looked at Calum and pulled his eyebrows together, “Yeah, what about it?”

            Honestly, Calum couldn’t believe he remembered, it was nearly a decade ago, but at the same time, if Logan was dealing with Calum being gone then, then he’s still dealing with it now. “You felt the same way back then as you do now, and you were 5.” Logan paused long enough for his character to die in the game. Calum smirked before taking a seat next to him again. “You asked me then why I couldn’t stay home, and I told you that to take care of you and mama and Aiden, I had to be gone for work, do you still understand that?” Logan’s swallowed and Calum continued, “I know that being the middle child isn’t easy, it makes you feel like no one cares about you because suddenly everyone’s attention is on the baby, or whatever else, but, Logan, we still love you.” Again, his character in the game died. “I’m sorry it’s been rough without Aiden, maybe your mom and I can get you transferred to a different school.”

            “No,” Logan’s protest startled Calum, his head snapping towards his son, “I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. I am still getting picked on, I didn’t think you guys knew about it, you never made a big deal out of it.” Logan slunked back into his chair.

            “Logan, we never made a big deal out of it because Aiden told us he had control over it. It’s our faults for assuming that this year would be different. What can we do to help?” Calum rung his hand together and looked at Logan who was already shaking his head.

            It took a few seconds after he stopped shaking his head to form his thoughts, “These kids at my school make fun of me for having a dad who travels for a living, they tell me I basically don’t have a dad since you’re never here,” Calum’s heart sunk, “And I know that’s not true, because I know how you take the time to call me or FaceTime me, or take a red eye flight to be here for my band concert, or whatever, but all these…” he paused, “…Fucktards…” he looked at Calum apologetically, but Calum allowed it, “…see, is that you’re not always here.” Logan took a breath, “What happened today was one kid went as far to say that mom was cheating on you because who could be left alone that long, but I see what mom does without you, she cooks us dinner, she wakes us up in the morning, she makes us breakfast and lunch and then goes to work. She works her ass off, dad, and I just couldn’t listen to some kid who knows absolutely nothing about us talk that badly about my mom, and you too!” Logan was getting passionate at this point, sitting forward and dropping the controller to his gaming console on the ground, “I didn’t mean to hit him, it just happened!”

            It was hard, but Calum controlled his laughter as he pulled Logan in for the tightest hug he could’ve given the kid. “You’re not in trouble, you did the right thing, you stood up for your mom and that’s all that matters.” Logan nodded into Calum’s shoulder, “Why don’t you go downstairs and give your mom a hug and tell her you love and appreciate her?” There was little to no hesitation before Logan stood up and made his way out of the room. Calum sat back and ran his hands through his hair, proud of his son, and the kid he was becoming. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @talkfastromance4

            Carefully, he moved his body so he could pull his phone out of his pocket without waking Logan. When he looked at the screen seeing his wife’s name and the request to FaceTime, he smiled, although slightly confused. He slid his finger across the screen to answer and held the phone up. “Why, hello, my love. I wasn’t sure you were going to have signal?”

            “Ah, you see, there’s Wi-Fi here,” She took a sip of wine, “for the adults.” Her lips stretched into the most glorious smile as she laughed and then looked at something on the other side of her phone. “They also have alcohol and a specific lounge for chaperones.” When she shrugged and took another sip of wine, Calum laughed. “How’s everything at home? Good?”

            Calum looked down at Logan who was still deeply asleep, then back at the phone. “Everything is great here.” Calum then moved the phone to show Logan’s sleeping form and he heard his wife on the other end of the phone coo. “Tuckered him out I guess.”

            “Tell me what guys have been doing, and then I’ll tell you all about Aiden’s trip.” She said while raising her eyebrows. Calum smiled and looked down at little Logan before telling all of what they’ve done the past two days.

            Aiden and his mom left before Logan woke up. Calum was sitting at the dining room table in front of his laptop with his headphone on, drinking a cup of coffee, when Logan slowly padded his way into the room. Calum was quick to remove his headphones and summon Logan over to him. Logan rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Calum lifted him onto his leg, “Daddy, where’s mama?”

            “She left with brother, remember it’s just us this weekend.” Calum ran the back of his fingers down Logan’s soft cheek.

            Hearing that, Logan perked up and his eyes twinkled. “Just you and me?” Calum nodded then rested his forehead on Logan’s. “Can we do something fun?” He had another twinkle in his eyes.

            “What do you want to do, son? This weekend is all about you, and me.” Calum wiggled a finger on Logan’s side, causing the boy to giggle and squirm in his grip.

            Logan finally caught his breath and looked into Calum’s eyes. “I wanna swim with Daddy.” It broke Calum’s heart. The reality is that every summer Calum is on tour, Logan has never had a chance to enjoy the pool with him, only with his mom and Aiden.

            Calum let an empathetic smile stretch across his face, “Of course, let go put our swimmers on.” Together, they made their way up the stairs. Calum helped Logan change and then Logan followed Calum across the hall and sat on the edge of the bed while Calum changed. Once they were both in the correct swimming attire, they made their way to the backyard. Calum found Logan’s pool floatie and tossed it into the pool. Holding onto Logan, they both dipped into the pool. After Calum grabbed the floatie he placed Logan in it and started to drift through the pool with him. They splashed each other and played with some toys they had lying around until Logan was bored with swimming.

            They both changed into dry clothes and Calum sat Logan at the table with a coloring book while he prepared lunch. Calum looked up from his preparations to look at Logan. He was humming to himself with a marker in his hand while he swung his legs back and forth, happily scribbling on the page. After lunch was ready, Calum sat next to his son and they ate together, something they didn’t do very often, and almost as suddenly Calum had that thought, so did Logan, “Daddy?” Calum hummed in response, “you work too much.” Calum froze, than after a second focused his attention on Logan. “You never spend time with me, because you’re working.”

            Calum was pretty sure people could hear his heart shatter across the globe. “I know, baby, and I’m sorry. But I have to work to take care of you and brother and Mama.”

            “But can’t you take care of us by staying home?” It was then that Logan looked up from what he was doing, into Calum’s eyes, effectively destroying what was left of Calum’s heart.

            Calum wasn’t prepared for this. Aiden wasn’t bonded to him like Logan was. Aiden never asked these questions. Calum looked away from Logan and took a deep breath to try to gather his thoughts, “The only way I can stay home is if I work. If I don’t work, then we wouldn’t have all the things we have now.”

            “But you’d always be home.” Logan cut him off.

            His head dropped, why was he so bad at this? His wife would know just what to say if she was here. “I’m sorry I’m not home, Logan, but I’m home now, and it’s just you and me this weekend. We can do anything we want.”

            Logan’s head popped up, “Anything?” Calum nodded with a smile.

            A devious smile stretched across Logan’s face, and with that smile led to a day full of doing anything Logan wanted. Including going to the movies, playing on the playground in the park down the street, going to the mall, and getting ice cream. By the time they were on their way home, Calum couldn’t understand how Logan wasn’t exhausted, Calum was. Calum glanced in the rearview mirror, Logan was strapped into his car seat, the radio was playing, and Logan kicked his feet back and forth, singing along to the song that was on the radio. Calum smiled to himself before looking back to the road, as much as he hates to admit it, he wished he was home more too.

            It was about nine in the evening when Calum was finally able to get Logan to go to sleep. Figuring that he hadn’t taken a nap he’d sleep all the way through the night. After closing the door, Calum headed to the studio to get to work on some songs Michael had sent him.

            All four of the band members were on a zoom video working out some songs about an hour after Calum had put Logan to bed. They were trying their hardest to work through a song that no one could get onto the same page with. Calum was frustrated, and honestly reaching the point of pure exhaustion. With a frustrated sigh, he leaned back and took his headphones off, resting them around his neck. Almost at that exact moment, he heard a tiny cry from down the hall. “Fuck, hold on guys.” Calum said aloud as he removed the headphones completely before rushing to open the door.

            When he opened the door, he found Logan standing in the middle of the hallway, hands pressed to his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. Calum rushed kneel in front of Logan, “What’s wrong, why aren’t you in bed, baby?” Calum was quick to wipe the tears off Logan’s face. 

            Logan took a few labored breaths before attempting to speak, “I th-thougt you were i-in your room, a-and you weren’t.”

            Calum enveloped Logan into his arms and coaxed his head to his shoulder before walking Logan back to the studio. He sat back down in his chair, Logan still crying hysterically against his shoulder. “Give me a minute, guys.” Calum said before muting his microphone. Calum continued to comfort his crying son before Logan finally fell silent. “Want to stay with daddy while he works?” Logan nodded against his shoulder. With that, Calum put on his headphones and motioned towards the guys that he was back. “I have a guest joining me for the rest of the night.”

            It was like Logan wasn’t even there, the only difference was Calum couldn’t get to his bass, but everyone worked around it. Eventually, Logan fell asleep, and eventually it was late enough that everyone called it a night. As Calum was walking down the hallway, he paused. Normally, it was at this time that he would put Logan in his own bed and go cuddle the woman who shares his bed, but she wasn’t here. They were both missing her, and he knew it. So, instead of dropping Logan in his own bed, Calum turned to his own room and took Logan with him. That night, they both slept in the ‘big bed’ as Logan called it when he got a chance to be in it.

            When Calum woke up, he made sure to make Logan and him a big breakfast and do everything he wanted. Together, they played board games, watched Logan’s favorite TV shows and movies, made his favorite food, swam in the pool some more, took Duke for a walk around the neighborhood, made his favorite dinner, then finally settled on the couch to watch Logan’s favorite movie, Cars. “And that catches us up to this moment when you called me.” Calum says with a chuckle.

            “Please tell me you’re still watching Cars.” She says as the wine glass touches her lips.

            “The remote is too far away to change it.”

            “Don’t lie, you like it too.”

            “Shut up.” She laughed a hearty laugh and Calum chuckled along with her. “I miss you.” 

            “I miss you too, honey.” She said as she sat forward and looked at the phone with incredible seriousness. 

            Calum smiled and looked down at Logan and kissed the side of his head, “Tell me about Aiden’s trip, love.” With that, she smiled and wiggled to get comfortable and started explaining her last two days. Calum closed his eyes to listen to her talk, absolutely content with his life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't really have a tag list anymore? So imma just tag my number 1 friend @talkfastromance4

“Well, he should try and make his own,” you pursed your lips, making Cal lean down to kiss you shortly.

“Nah, too much responsibility,” he chuckled, both of you having a laugh over your friend.

A delightful babble rang through the air, at which you and Cal turned to look at your son sitting on the floor, tiny hands petting Duke’s head, the dog giving Calum a not-so-happy look and demanding him with a tiny woof sound to please get him out of this situation, preferably right now.

“You’re so dramatic,” Cal chuckled at the dog before bending down to pick the little boy up, holding him in his arms. “Come on, Bubba, Duke’s grumpy. But Dada is here to stay with you today.”

“Momma?” Kai looked between you and Calum, brown eyes big and curious, and more than anything you wanted to stay home and be with them.

“Momma needs to go to work,” you stepped closer to them, softly caressing his chubby cheek. “But I’m coming home as soon as I can, and until then Dada will keep you entertained. And maybe Uncle Ash will stop by too.”

“Be careful what you say,” your boyfriend mumbled with a stifled laugh, adjusting Kai in his arms and leaning close to press his lips against the top of his head. “Say bye to Mommy?”

“Bye,” he waved his hand at you, still a little unsure as he was only just starting to learn the words and their meanings, slowly understanding the actions they paired with.

“Kiss Kai?” you offered your cheek to your son who quickly leaned over and pressed his lips against it, giving you a big wet kiss. “Thank you, baby!”

“Kiss Kai,” he repeated your words, something he recently learned, while sucking on his thumb.

You yourself pressed a kiss on his cheek in return before turning to Calum, lips meeting and sharing a kiss. Cal curled his arm around your waist to pull you close, hand caressing your waist, trying to slip under your shirt.

“Maybe once I’m home…” you softly bit into his bottom lip, giving him a cheeky smile. “Text me how the day’s going?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” he promised, bumping his forehead against yours. “Dad mode: activated.”

 .

You’ve tried not to worry, you really did. You’ve also tried to focus on the meeting that was currently taking place, the one why you needed to ask Cal to stay at home with Kai, but everything seemed futile. Truth was that since Kai was born there were only a few days that you spent apart from your little boy, and you might have developed a slight co-dependency when it came to him. Not that anyone would have blamed you, after all, you were his Mom.

Maybe you were just anxious for some reason – you knew Calum is well capable of taking care of your son, he’s been there every step of the way since he found out you were pregnant. Maybe you were just scared you’re missing out on something; Kai was growing up so fast, already learning words and you wanted to hear every new one from him. It was perfectly normal wanting to experience all these new milestones together with Cal – they were far more important than whatever your co-worker was rambling about.

You’ve tried, you really did, but in the end you needed to pick up your phone, and hid it in your lap as you sent a quick message to Calum, wanting to know what they were doing, and if Ashton really did show up to spend some time with his godson.

Y/N: Hey, how’s everything going?

A few minutes passed before your phone buzzed in your hand, a new text message popping up on your screen.

Calum: all good in the Hood 👌

Y/N: CALUM!!!

Calum: sorry I had to

A series of laughing emojis followed, and you needed to roll your eyes at your boyfriend. He was definitely in one of his cheeky moods, it was clear from the morning as well, but that didn’t mean your nerves were soothed. You needed proof that both him and Kai were doing okay without you, even though your conscience told you not to worry about them.

Y/N: But are you sure you’re okay?

Calum: Couldnt be better

A second later a picture appeared on your screen, and it took everything in you not to start tearing up while looking at it. Calum was lying in your shared bed, his phone pointed at the mirror to take a picture of him and Kai. Kai, who was peacefully sleeping, cuddled against his Dad’s back, chubby cheek resting against Calum’s broad shoulder. There was so much love and calmness radiating from the picture that suddenly you felt silly for worrying this much about them.

Calum: Cant move. Might stay here forever

Y/N: He also knows that Daddy is the best kind of pillow ❤️

Calum: we miss Mommy though. Hurry up and come home to us ❤️

Y/N: Gonna cozy up to you soon! Save a spot for me?

Calum: bet your sweet ass I will 😘

You sent him back a kissy face emoji as well, saving the picture of your boys and setting it as your new wallpaper. You also made a promise to yourself to ask Calum to have some more father-son days with Kai – it was definitely the best part of your day when he ended up sending you the cutest pictures of the two of them on their many different adventures.

And if you got to tag along to their Thursdays which soon were reserved for the two of them, well, that was definitely the best kind of bonus.

 - - - - -

taglist.

~4 Years Later

The true madness of this time of year, outside of the holiday craze, is Calum having a full house with two kids now who are home all the time. You take off from work to be there and Calum takes days to work from home to help as well. Though this year in particular is fuller than others with new music on the horizon. But Calum enjoys it nonetheless. You follow behind Calum as he pulls up the rear of the band. Though normally, Calum took radio interviews and his work solo, he’d ask you to bring the kids along. As Calum called it, he wanted a “Take the kids to work day” and today would be light enough for interviews that Calum could tote them around the radio station, but still handle most of the interviews solo. There is one interview towards the end of the day, that Calum did want both boys to sit in with him for and the prospect of helping Dad with his work made Amiri and Arran ecstatic. 

But currently, this interview is one that Calum has to do by himself. As he settles into the cushioned chair, he throws one last glance back through the glass windows of the room. Amiri waves, a big grin lighting up his face. Calum waves back before traveling up to find your face. You hold onto Amiri’s hand and still carry Arran on your opposite hip. But your smile is still big and then a moment later, you’re leading two duo of kids away back towards the green room that the boys were just in before settling in for the interview. He can see you’re talking but he can’t hear the words. Amiri gives one last wave but a thumbs up and Calum returns with a kiss thrown in his direction. 

“Welcome back,” the host starts. The voice is big and chipper in Calum’s ears, but he’s only ever focused on you and the kids. “We’re in the studio with the hottest band still even after a four year hiatus, 5 Seconds of Summer. Welcome back boys.”

“Oh, thanks for having us,” Ashton replies with a smile. 

“You four are back in a big big way. And some of you have major additions to your crews, family and things, Calum, in particular,” the hosts teases. 

The sound of his name gets Calum to turn around fully. “Uh, yeah,” he laughs, readjusting the headset. 

“So we’re up to two baby boys for you. How does it feel? Any plans for more?”

“It’s-it’s great,” Calum starts. “My spouse and I- we put the kids first really with things. So it’s sort of easier that we’re on the same page and uh, baby two definitely is easier in some ways but it also makes things a bit more challenging. Balancing out the attention can sometimes be tricky. As for more, unclear. Two was our sort of max.”

“You’re crushing it,” Luke cuts in. His tone is colored by his own awe. “This man will be on a Zoom call with the one of them on his hip, fixing lunch, dealing with a juice spill, a dog and still like actively participating. He’s like a real life Superman or something.”

“Sounds like quite a full day for you, Calum,” the host tacks on. “Care to tell us more about that?”

“The days are quite full,” Calum agrees with a laugh. “But I wouldn’t get anywhere with my spouse or the support of these fellas. When I just need to be a dad that day or just need to be a husband, like I have to take a step back for my kids or my spouse, they understand. So it’s nice to have that support. These men have been integral in me being able to be there for my kids, for me to be Superman.”

“I love my nephews, man!” Michael chimes in. “They’re so fucking cute and I don’t know how you say no to them, Cal. Like they’re just so little and adorable.”

“Uh, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes they just win. Like when it’s an extra cup of juice after dinner or something, you just let them have it,” Calum laughs.

“Ah, that’s the secret to parenting,” the host laughs. 

“Just one of the many,” Calum returns. 

“So we’ve got kids, dogs, juice spills, and we’re getting new music. There’s been rumors around the mill that a certain single might get its live debut here at Jingle Bell Ball next week? Hmm, what about that fellas?”

“Did you hear about this?” Ashton asks, looking at the other guys. “I must’ve missed that one.” He says it with a grin, so everyone understands the playful tease to the statement. 

The rest of the interview goes well and in the breaks between interviews, Calum pokes his head into the greenroom. Amiri looks up from the sound of the door opening. “Hi, Dad,” he greets, pushing up from the table. It looks like he might be drawing but Calum’s not entirely sure before he’s wrapping Amiri up in a hug. 

“Hey, buddy. What’s going on here?”

“Drawing,” Amiri returns. “Alphabet is next too!”

“Hmm, yes, definitely got those ABC’s in too, kid.” Calum walks further into the room, Amiri at his side. Arran sits next to you munching on some snacks, goldfish Calum’s sure as the two year old has become adamant about having the snack once a day. Another small thing to keep the peace, to keep sanity. It’s countered with a lot of fruits and vegetables. 

“Daddy!” Arran cheers. He only loses two goldfish in the process as they clatter to the floor. You're swift to pick them up off the floor. 

“Hi!” Calum returns. “How’re the goldfish treating you?”

“Good,” Arran smiles. 

Calum notices a tug at his pant leg and looks down to Amiri. “Yes, Amiri?”

“Bafroom, please. I really gotta go.”

“Okay, I’ll take you to the bathroom,” Calum agrees and pushes forward to kiss you on the cheek and kiss Arran’s forehead. “Alright, Amiri, one bathroom trip. All aboard?” Calum reaches out his hand.

Amiri takes it. “All aboard!”

“Excellent, here we go.” 

Arran hands you back the bag of his snack. About half of the goldfish remain. “Done,” he tells you.

“You’re done?” you ask. 

Arran nods. “Done,” he repeats. 

“Okay. We’ll save the rest.”  You place them back into the backpack you have full of things to occupy and feed the two boys with. Arran watches and spies his normal drawing bag. 

“I draw?”

“You want to draw too?” you ask to make sure you understand. 

“Pwease.”

The lost ‘l’ sound makes your heart melt just a little and you nod. “Okay, you can draw too.” You help him get set up at the small table in the room, opposite of where Amiri’s stuff still lingers. The moment you resign yourself to stay on the floor as all other attempts to get back to the couch are thwarted by Arran’s insistence that you draw with him, you hear the door open back up. 

“You guys ready?” The voice asks. You’re sure it’s a production assistant or someone else wrangling the band for the interview. 

“Uh, Calum’s with one of his sons. But once he’s back, we’ll be ready,” Ashton returns. 

“I’m with who?” You turn then to the sound and spot Calum approaching just behind the assistant. 

“We’re getting rounded up,” Luke returns. 

“How many until we can work with you Dad?” Amiri asks. 

“Right after this one,” Calum answers, leading Amiri back into the room. He excuses himself around the assistant who’s still holding the door open and gives a quick thanks. 

“When your lunch?” Amiri asks. You snicker at the question, but know that Amiri’s dead decision on getting the answer to it. The times you and Calum have gotten onto each other about skipping meals only means that the kids have picked up on it as well. 

Calum’s a bit speechless for a moment but walks Amiri back to his spot in front of his coloring. “It’s Dad’s job to worry about you and your lunch, not the other way around.”

Amiri is not satisfied with the answer and puts a hand on his hip. “Dad.” 

Calum laughs but squats down to Amiri’s level. “Dad’s going to eat right after the interview you help me with. Be thinking about what I should get okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Amiri answers. 

“I love you, buddy. So much,” Calum returns, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Be good while I’m gone, Arran,” Calum warns. 

“I good!” the youngest cheers back, the red crayon tight in his hold. 

“You okay, babe?” Calum asks you. 

“I’m good, love.” It’s only a nod between you two. But you both know everything else that’s to be said behind it. If any of that were to change, you’d give a shout. If Calum needed anything, he'd only have to give you a shout. The two of you are always just a call away. “Go be a rockstar, Dad. I’ve got them.”

“Love you,” Calum whispers before standing. 

“I know,” you tease, lightly tapping his calf as he heads for the door. You figure the interview won’t take too long. But you still work to keep Amiri and Arran occupied as much as possible. Arran sticks to depicting his version of a soccer field with him and Calum and you doing drills. Amiri works on a mock up drawing of a bass and you grin knowing what it means. “You excited to give Dad his gift?”

Amiri nods, but it’s not as eager as it normally is. “Yeah, I’m excited.”

“You sound blue. Am I hearing you right?”

Amiri shrugs. “I’m scared,” he whispers. 

“You’re scared. Okay. It’s okay to be scared. Do you know why you’re scared?”

“Worry, I fink.” His brows pull together. He’s not quite sure that’s the right word. But the last time he felt like this you and Calum called it that. It feels the same--like the voice in the back of his head keeps telling him what if it all goes wrong. 

“Worried. Okay. Do you know about what? What are you worried about?”

“What if-What if Dad doesn’t like it? What if he fink it silly?”

“Bud,” you coo, reaching your head across the table. You leave it palm up for Amiri to take if he wants. “What do you think will happen if he doesn’t like it?”

“It hurt,” Amiri states. “Hurt my feelings.”

“Yeah,” you nod, “yeah if Dad doesn’t like it that does sound like it would hurt your feelings. What else do you think will happen?”

Amiri sniffles just a little, eyes finally flicking up at you. The tears are welling along the bottom of his eyes. “What if he won’t love me?”

“Amiri David Hood, your dad loves you more than you know. And if he doesn’t love you over a bass he doesn’t like that you made for him, I will personally and I mean this 100 percent honestly, kick his ass. And then I will sit you two down and you can tell him how much his actions hurt you way worse than whatever I did.”

“Matua, you said a bad word,” Amiri giggles. “You said we can’t say that.”

You reach into your pocket, where you keep spare change for moments like this. You find a dime and hand it over to Amiri. “It was worth it. But how does that sound? If he hurts your feelings, you can let him know. We won’t accept behavior like that.”

“Thanks, Matua.”

“Anytime, love. Anytime.”

Another few minutes pass and then Calum returns, making a big show of throwing open the doors. “Where are my boys?” he asks, looking into the room. He purposefully looks over your group. 

Arran giggles and runs from your arms to Calum’s legs. “Here!”

“Oh that’s one,” Calum laughs. “There’s one more. Where is he?”

Amiri clutches the picture to his chest and you two share a small moment’s glance. You nod over your shoulder to Calum. “Go,” you whisper. “I’m right behind.” Amiri nods, kissing your cheek before heading over to Calum. 

“Oh, lookie there, there’s the other one,” Calum teases. You start to clean up the crayons and paper, getting them back into the backpack before standing too. “Hey, Amiri, everything okay?” Calum’s voice is soft as he asks and you’re praying Amiri keeps it together long enough for the surprise. But even if he doesn’t, you know that it’s okay. 

“Yeah.” It doesn’t sound super convincing but there’s only so much you can do to help as you get the things organized. 

“You can tell me anything, okay, buddy. Dad’s always here for you. Do you still want to help me in this next interview?”

“Please.”

“Okay, bud. Thanks for all your help. Do you want to wear the big headphones for Dad? It’s a big job.”

“I can do it,” Amiri laughs. 

“Alright! You think about what Dad should eat after?”

“Vegetables,” Amiri returns. He follows alongside Calum out of the room. Arran’s situated in Calum’s arm. 

“Okay, We can arrange for that. Anything else?”

“Fruit.”

“Consider it done,” Calum returns. You follow behind them and down the hallways. Amiri rattles down through his considerations and for the time being, the question seems to have distracted him well enough. Calum settles into a chair and gets Arran on one thigh and you help Amiri up onto Calum’s other thigh. They get a snug squeeze from Calum and laugh. You help Amiri get the headphones on and snicker just a little at the way they almost swallow his entire head. 

“They so big,” Amiri calls out. 

Calum laughs and gets one ear free for Amiri. “Yeah, they are.” He notices the upside piece of paper. From the backside he can see the green and black and brown indentations and color of the marks and crayons. And he almost asks what it is thar Amiri holding but the question dies as Arran reaches up for the microphone. 

“Okay, so, clearly I’m losing here,” Calum laughs.  “Arran, can you let Matua get it right? Do you want to help?”

“Help!” Arran declares. 

“Okay, you can help them.” You get Arran’s hands situated on the right angle and then push the microphone so that it’ll catch Calum’s voice and also pick up hopefully Amiri and Arran should either one contribute. 

“Does that look good to you, Arran?” you ask. 

He inspects it before giving a definitive nod. “Yes.”

“Perfect. Thank you for your help.”

“Fank you,” Arran returns. You settle in the seat behind Calum knowing that you’ll no doubt need to readjust something at some point. Only a few minutes pass before the interview truly starts up and Amiri smiles just a little. He drops his head back to look at Calum around the headphone. 

“This strange,” Amiri giggles.

The radio host pauses for a moment and laughs at Amiri’s confession. “I heard it was a big day for you too, Amiri.”

Amiri turns back to the host. “I help my dad!”

“Yeah, how’s that going so far? Have you been having fun?”

Amiri nods. “Yes. Fank you.”

“Oh, so polite. You’re welcome,” the host laughs. “Your brother is here too? How’s that?”

“Arran’s cool,” Amiri returns with a proud nod. Calum laughs at the exchange and gently encourages Arran to say hi if he wants.  The two year old proudly declares his presence and everyone’s laughter bubbles. The questions start to roll more for the band and you watch Amiri closely. He turns his attention back and forth from his uncles as they answer to the host as they speak. His hands pull a little at the paper with the drawing with each question. 

“So, how are we feeling about taking the Jingle Bell Ball once again? Do you guys feel like pros?”

“We love playing live shows,” Luke answers. “And no matter how much we do it, we want to make sure we’re, like, putting on a good show. So it’s comforting and like, nerve-wracking all at the same time.”

“Anything new and exciting you four are looking to debut? A laser light show? Maybe some backup dancers?”

The joke lands well and Ashton takes the question to answer. “The band has always been the four of us and about our music, so we want to for the time being to keep it that way. But who knows? The future’s full of possibilities. Though I’m thinking of new kits.”

“Ah, there we go. A good new kit could be fun. I’ve heard though, Calum, you might be looking to add a new bass to your rotation?”

Calum’s brows knit together. “I’m sorry? I don’t--”

“Dad,” Amiri interjects. 

“Yes, buddy? You okay?” The confusion of the host’s question falls away as Calum turns his attention to Amiri. 

“I told Matua ‘bout this. And I’m scared.”

“Scared? What are you scared about Amiri?”

Amiri reaches for the drawing and flips it over. A forest green instrument stares back at Calum. It looks like a bass, given the number of strings. There’s a brown neck and black and gold floral accents. “I made it. For you.”

“Oh, bud, this is so great. Thank you,” Calum exhales. He kisses Amiri’s forehead. “I love it.”

Amiri points to the door and Calum turns his attention in that direction. You’re already crossing the room to take hold of a case. “No, Dad. I made it. Like a new bass. For you to play wif.”

Calum sputters for his words as the rest of the guys shuffle over as much as possible. You’re careful as you crack open the case and a forest green bass stares back at him. “Buddy, what? You had a bass made for me?” Calum asks. 

Amiri nods. “Early Christmas,” he grins. 

“Oh my god,” Calum whispers. “It’s beautiful, son. Thank you.”

“You like it?”

“Like it? Amiri, I love it. Thank you so so much.” Amiri nods before the two embrace and Calum looks back over his shoulder to the bass. There’s specs of something like glitter or something reflective that catch in the light of the room. “I’m so blown away. You designed that?”

“Yep! Matua and Arran helped some. But I even paid for it!” Amiri boasts. “

You lean down into Michael’s microphone as everyone in the room seems a bit confused. “I gave him the card and he put the card into the machine and we signed together. So he ‘paid’ for it. But he’s been working hard on this since June. He came up to me after one of your days swimming and said, ‘Matua, I want to make Dad a bass for Christmas.’ And I was like, pick one out from a store that you think he’ll like or have one made. And he was adamant that he wanted to design one top to bottom. So, uh, Calum, all those extra doctor’s appointments and errands were me taking Amiri to the shop to work with the folks to design this bass. We’d spend an hour with them so he could screw in stuff and help them get the paint color right. And I don’t know much about how they actually build a bass. But if Amiri becomes a craftsman, I think we know why now.”

Calum looks back to the bass and is blown away by the fact that Amiri wanted to do something like this for him. “I’m going to eat so many vegetables to make up for this,” he laughs. 

The room bursts into laughter. But Amiri knows what it means and he kisses Calum on his cheek. “So many,” Amiri giggles. “Love you, Dad.”

A week later, as the crowd starts to roar, Calum swings the forest green bass to his side and squats down to Amiri and Arran’s level. They give him a fist bump each. The headphones over their ears are to protect their hearing and sometimes Calum wishes they could hear the quick blessing he whispers over them. But he wonders if it’s better this way. If part of the routine is the silent care and love Calum pours over them. You fist bump Calum once he stands up fully and the two of you share a quick kiss. 

The track, deep bass and the hint of Babylon, rises and Calum turns back to the band as they give each other one last fist bump and head up the steps of the stage. You catch the bass drum as Ashton settles kicking up. More people working the stage start to bustle about so you pick up Amiri and Arran to make sure they can still see Calum. Today, the Jingle Bell Ball set is the debut of Calum’s new bass and you were halfway anticipating Calum saying he can’t even touch the instrument because of the reason behind it. 

But you’re glad he did take it. Amiri beams in your arms, watching as Calum works his fingers over the strings. Every second Amiri spent drawing and helping assemble the instrument matters ten times more in this moment. The set isn’t long as there are many other acts gearing up to follow. You set Amiri down first about halfway through the last song. You readjust your shirt after getting Arran down. Amiri shouts up at you and you don’t quite catch it all. You go to signal to him to give you just one more minute because the last notes are ringing out but instead he takes off. He bolts for the stage and your heart races in your chest. Arran, who notices Amiri taking off, jets off two. 

“Fucking hell,” you mutter. Amiri stays at Calum’s side and it takes Calum just a second to realize that Amiri’s there until he notices the crowd giving a big ‘Aw’ as Amiri pats at his leg. Just as Calum gets down to the squat, Arran comes running out too. 

Calum looks back over to you. You seem frozen for a moment before you start towards the stage. He signals for you to stay. He thinks you’re apologizing, but can’t confirm it. Kids are kids, he knows. At the end of the day, they’ll do kid things. Calum gets both boys into his arms and then gets over to the rest of the boys to give a quick bow. It’s not easy with both kids in his arms, but Calum dips his head and then carries Amiri and Arran off stage. 

“I’m so sorry,” you rush out, coming up to Calum. 

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. What happened?”

You reach up to help him out of his inner ears so that they can get packed up with the rest of the gear. “I’m not sure. I went to get Amiri down and I think he asked me something but I couldn’t hear him and then he took off,” you answer, following behind Calum as he steps away from the side of the stage.

“Can you get the headphones off for me?” 

You walk behind Calum for a step or two and then he pulls off the side of the hallway. You work the headphones down from Amiri first and then Arran second. You hold the orange and red pairs of headphones in your hands as Calum looks over to Amiri. “Hey, Ri, what happened there? You coming on stage?”

He looks frightened for a moment at the question. “I asked Matua if I could go. I got excited.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay that you got excited. But Matua couldn’t hear you over the noise. You’ve got to stick with them. You shouldn’t run off like that. There’s cords and you could’ve easily tripped and fell. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Amiri’s eyes widened at the realization. “Oh, I’m sorry, Matua! I thought you said yes.”

You run a hand over his hair, the curls coming out in full force the older he gets. “Hey, you didn’t get hurt. So for now, no harm, no foul.”

“Arran, you shouldn’t run off either,” Calum adds. “I know you want to follow what Amiri does, but I want to keep you safe too.”

“I should stay with Matua,” Amiri interjects. “Sorry again.”

“Apology accepted, dear.” You kiss his head. 

“Sowwy,” Arran tacks on as well. 

“Apology accepted,” Calum returns. “And in awesome news, Amiri, the new bass absolutely shreds.”

The fear that filled Amiri’s face melts away as he perks up and smiles. “Really?”

“Oh, one thousand percent, it shreds,” Calum laughs. “Thank you again for making it for me.”

“I want to make more things!” Amiri declares. “Maybe I can make cool sticks for Uncle Ash?”

“I look forward to all your creations, Amiri. They’re brilliant. Absolutely phenomenal.” Amiri rattles on about all his other ideas and Calum carries them both down back towards the green room. Arran interjects sometimes with lines from the songs that they sung on stage and the whole trio of them fall into their normal rhythm of laughter. As you stay close to them, you catch the glint of your bands and think about how inside of each of them is one inscription that reads together, till death. And if death means your two kids giving you a heart attack and Calum being there, then you’ll take it all the way to the end. 

The truck slows and before it’s fully in park, Calum’s popping the handle to the door. Before his feet can hit the pavement, he spots you standing near the end of the driveway just like you promised you would be. Out of the truck, Calum barely slings his backpack onto his shoulder before jogging up to greet you. He manages to pull up short to avoid any collisions, but he’s so fucking relieved to be home. The front of the house is decorated, the Christmas lights that you set out everywhere being on display for at least two weeks as far as Calum is aware. But he is so fucking relieved to be home. Almost two weeks in a hotel, surviving on hours long FaceTime calls knowing that in reality you were only fifteen minutes away rather than the twelve hour plane ride felt like it could kill. 

“You’re real,” he breathes. 

Your laughter is soft. “Yeah, I’m real.”

The words buzz around Calum’s tongue. He wants to tell you that he’s dreamt of falling asleep next to you and waking to change wet diapers. He wants to tell you that he’s missed carrying Amiri in his arms and making his baby boy giggle at every little thing. Calum wishes he could get his lips and tongue to curl and tell you the simple things like washing dishes next you and writing together a grocery list are what makes his heart soar the most. But all Calum seems to be able to do is pull you in for a kiss. All he can do is pull back for just a good breath of air and then kiss over your nose. Because he’s never been great with words, but his actions have always supported his feelings. 

When Calum’s settled into the house, hugs given to his mother and father, he sneaks off to the nursery. Over the time that he’s been gone, you’ve been working slowly to get Amiri used to sleeping in his own room. In the rocking chair, Calum holds his son to his chest. “You’ve gotten so big since I’ve been gone. Everytime I blink there’s another inch,” Calum starts. His voice is only a whisper.

 From down the halls and most likely starting from the living room, Calum hears laughter. There’s last minute gift wrapping--none of them are gifts for anyone in the house, or at least Calum assumes. Joy offered to start working on rounds of hot chocolate and in the lull, Calum, previously working to burp Amiri, wandered further and further into the house until he settled into the wooden rocking chair. 

“Were you good for matua while I was gone?” Calum asks. His fingers are steady over Amiri’s back. There’s no response and there won’t be. But Calum continues to fill the silence, “I really appreciate the card too. Got me through some long and tough days. Uncle Mike was happy to see you practicing while we were away.” When Calum saw the text the first time, Amiri propped up and the plush controller on his lap, he laughed to the point that he started to cry. It took him nearly five minutes to catch his breath to show the picture to the others and the moment he did, Michael roared with a cheer. 

The soft grunts fill Calum’s ear. “Oh, yeah. I know what that means.” As Calums stands, heading over to the changing table, he continues on. “After I do you this favor, can I ask for one in return? I promised matua family lunches, right? But I’ve got this one idea. I’m just going to need a little extra help. All you gotta do is show up and be cute. I’ll take care of the rest.”

The soiled diaper lands into the trash can with a sharp thud and Calum’s unflinching as he brings the wipe to Amiri’s bottom. “I won’t ask you to agree now in such a vulnerable position. But just think about it, alright. Your participation would really seal the deal I think having you in on the plan.”

Calum gets Amiri clean and into a fresh diaper. “Let’s meet again after Christmas. But keep chewing it over.”

“Might I be privy to such a plan?”

Calum turns to the voice and spots his mother at the door. A mug, with steam billowing, rests in her hand. “The plan could always use some extra eyes on it.”

Joy grins. “Excellent. And here’s your cup, if you want it. I can keep it in the microwave too if you’re not ready for it.”

“Thanks Mum. You can leave it out. We’ll be up in a second.”

“Tonight you’ll have to tell me what this plan is.”

Calum nods, his own smile gracing his face at the sight of his mother’s excitement. “Of course, Mum. And by the way, thanks. For everything. Coming out here, being with them. It means the world to me to see them cared for and I really appreciate you being there when I couldn’t.”

“You never have to thank me for that,” Joy returns, closing the distance now. She slides one arm around Calum’s shoulders. “You’re my boy, of course I’ll do it.”

“I know, but still. I want to thank you.”

“Consider the gratitude appreciated.” Joy kisses Calum on the cheek and then starts for the door. “Mug’s going up front for you, okay?”

“Thanks,” Calum calls out. When he turns back to Amiri there’s a grin on the baby’s face. “Feel better now after that, huh? C’mon. One ride on the Dad express,” Calum laughs, getting Amiri back up into his arms. “Rides are free for as long as I can lift you.” And though Calum means it as a joke, he thinks for a fleeting moment that he wants more time than that. He wants to always be there. The rule, he figures, will be modified. There will be free rides for as long as Calum is alive. There will always be someone in his kids’ corner. 

_______________________

Calum wheels the carrier over the small bump and then takes the glossy floors over to the elevators. Behind the shades, Calum feels like he’s invisible. But the box in his pocket feels like it’s a warning signal. With every step his jacket jostles and he can feel the box hitting his stomach. No one can actually see it. It’s small, and his jacket is huge, but Calum notices his palms growing slicker around the handles of the stroller and knows that it feels like stage lights are blaring from the left side pocket. 

The elevator is empty once it opens and Calum’s grateful as he walks in backwards, angling the stroller to be easier to get off. With the button lit up, the elevator ascends. It’s real. It was real somewhat when Calum went ring shopping. He wanted to shop with his mum, but knew that due to the timing it may not work out so while on tour, he snagged a few hours to look at rings with Liz. She’d been more than happy to help and when both of them were unsure of an option, he called in his mum. Joy was easy to say yes or no, no matter what time it seemed he sent a text. 

But now it’s even more real. It’s in his pocket--the ring. He’s in the elevators. He’s landing on your floor. The office seems to bustle unbothered by the addition. But he spots you, laughing with Angie. You’re spotting him. It’s too real when you’re crossing the floor to him. The kiss is real. You gently caress Amiri’s cheek. “What are you doing here?” you grin. 

Calum blinks. His mouth feels full and somehow dry, as if his tongue is too big and too dry for his own mouth. “Lunch, remember?” he gets out softly. 

Your eyes widen at the realization. “Holy shit, you’re right, you’re right. It feels like three different days here at work.”

“Well, sounds like you could really use the break.”

“Let me shutdown my computer and we can go. I’m sorry. I totally spaced out.”

Calum shakes his head. “No worries. Take your time.” You shuffle back to your desk and exit out of a few screens before the whole thing goes black. 

In the elevator back down, the box in Calum’s pocket feels like it could burn a hole right through the denim material. Maybe he’s wishing it will. It would make the whole ordeal easier. 

“Why’s Amiri in a coat? Is he sick?”

Calum shakes his head at the question. “No, just a slight chill this morning. Want to prevent a cold or anything.”

You give a nod, as if you’re content with the answer. But the truth is that if you go exploring too deeply, you’ll see the real reason for the coat. And maybe the ring doesn’t need to fall out of his pocket. Maybe he just needs you to go looking. You don’t though. You leave the thin coat alone and loop your arm around Calum’s. But you’re on the right side, like Calum knew you’d be. You rest against him and it’s easy for Calum to press a kiss to your temple. And the ring burns a hole in his left pocket. 

Your office is located near quite a few places to grab a bite to eat, so it’s easy for you and Calum to walk two blocks down to the brunch place you’ve raved about. Calum had yet to try it, not for lack of wanting to, but just never had much reason to come out this far for it. Now he does, his promise for family lunches. Now he has time to be this far out for the fact of what he’s about to do. 

After you two are seated, Calum’s wondering if he has the timing right. Should he wait until near the end? Should he do it now? Either way, Calum’s now not sure if he should be doing it in public nearly at all. Thankfully the place isn’t busy yet. The server comes by to get the drink order and then they’re off again, on the promise that they’ll give you two a few more minutes to look at the menu. 

Calum reaches for Amiri before he can really stop himself. If he wants too much longer, he’s never going to actually do it, he’ll never actually pull the trigger. So he coos just a little as gets Amiri out from the stroller and gets Amiri in his lap. The boy babbles just a little in response. “Yeah, yeah, I think we’re safe to execute the plan.”

You only shake your head for a moment. “Only the lord knows what the two of you are up to. And only the lord can stop you,” you return, eyes falling back over the menu. 

Calum slips the jacket off Amiri’s arm which reveals the white t-shirt that Calum entrusted Joy with getting screen printed before she left. He reaches down into the back of the stroller and pulls out the card as well. Just as Calum sets the card down, two glasses of water settle onto the table. Of course--the timing could not be worse. 

“Thanks,” you offer to the server. 

“Oh my god,” the server whispers. “Oh my god, I didn’t--I’m sorry.”

Calum’s cheeks are warm, he can feel it. Even as he tries to reassure the young server, the embarrassment makes his skin hot. “Really, it’s no problem.”

And in the midst of trying to be reassuring, your shocked whisper falls from your lips. If the words were tangible falling from your mouth, they’d clatter to the metal table much like your jaw stays hanging slightly agape. “What-Calum?” you question. 

“In my head this was all going to go a lot more smoothly. But nothing in life ever really goes smoothly,” Calum chuckles to himself. 

“I’ll-I’ll give you two a second. Again, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. Oh my god.” 

Calum bounces his leg just a little and Amiri giggles at the action. But not even the sound of the laughter seems to cut through your trance. And Calum can’t get his tongue to work. He can’t ask you what you think about the t-shirt that says, Wedding Bells? He can’t seem to prod you to read the card. It’s only just the two of you gazing out at each other. 

“I feel like I’m better with words when they’re written down,” Calum finally gets out. He punctuates the sentence by pushing the card closer to you. “But with nearly four years together, and a growing family, I know I want nothing more than to be with you.”

“Yes,” the word falls in one breath. 

“Please actually read the card. Amiri worked hard on it.”

“Of course,” you nod, fingers already primed to pop the seal. “But my answer is still yes.”

Calum grins, but nods as well and when he catches you dropping your gaze to the card, he reaches into his left pocket and fishes out the ring box. The soft gray velvet box is tiny on the table in comparison to the way it felt in his pocket. Calum watches you read, trying to imagine where you might be in the note. 

Dear Matua, 

Dad asked me to help. He’s been sort of secretive about what he needs help with. But he says I should help him with this card. So this is my best shot at it. If it gets mushy, it’s all Dad’s fault. 

He wants me to start at the beginning. And I really wasn’t there for that. Only you two were, but he says you’ll remember the night you were tipsy playing Topgolf. And you weren’t tispy, according to Dad, at the start. But while waiting you and your friends were eagerly and passionately debating who was the best golfer, Dad overheard you and your friends. He says that in the moment, when he realized that the bay he and the boys had been settled into was near yours, that something would change that night. 

And according to Dad, the thing that changed was his life. One day, one decision to join in on a last minute trip changed everything. I know I’m grateful for it. But so is Dad. He’s glad  that one decision has altered his entire life and he’s hoping one more decision will alter his life again. 

Math is a new concept for me. So forgive me if it’s not all accurate. But it’s been 4 years. 2 giant tours--thanks for the earlier context on that one, Matua. 2 and a half albums, 9 months of pregnancy, one me. Possibly a sibling.  A lot--it’s a lot and it’s everything. 

It’s everything I can ask for. It’s everything Dad can ask for and he wants to know if it’ll continue to be everything for him. He wants to know if you’ll marry him. It would be an honor,  he says, to be your husband. To take the family we have always upwards. 

Your Son, 

Amiri. 

Your eyes are wet when you look up and Calum’s working with Amiri’s help, of course, to crack open the ring box. 

“Have I told you today I love you?” you ask. 

Calum nods. “Only once, maybe.”

“I love you,” you whisper. The conviction that colors your tone makes Calum stop his reach for you. But it doesn’t stop you as you push up and out of the chair. Calum’s hesitation doesn’t stop you as you cup his face and press a kiss to his lips. 

Amiri’s slight whine is the only thing that interrupts the moment as he reaches for the napkin on the table. Calum laughs softly against your lips. “I did buy you a ring, just so you know.”

“I wouldn’t need one,” you return. Calum slips it onto your finger anyway and it fits perfectly. It’s a simple gold band with a v shape at the center. It’s not fancy, but still dazzles and it was Calum’s first choice. But he felt like he needed to keep looking. However, at the end of the day all of them agreed--even with a vote extended to the guys--that the thin gold band was the best choice. 

You reach for the increasingly fussy Amiri. “Stinky butt, are you getting fussy? Are we not giving you enough attention?”

The sweet cadence to your voice and tease gets Amiri to settle just a little. He still seems like his attention is dead set on the napkin. Calum lifts the fascinating item up to you as he stands. “Thanks for the card,” you whisper and kiss his cheek before handing over the white napkin. 

“He’s going to be a wordsmith,” Calum teases. 

“Before we know it, he’ll be writing books,” you laugh. The two of you share another kiss and just from the other side of the outdoor setting area there’s clapping. 

Calum laughs, noticing the employees crowded slightly around the door to watch. “I’m only a little embarrassed by the way this all played out.”

“Love, when has anything in our lives gone exactly according to plan?”

He knows it’s a rhetorical question, but the answer still bubbles. “I mean, enough has gone to plan to think that maybe we’re shit planners.”

At the end of the lunch, while trying to eat through the stack of blueberry pancakes that were gifted in celebration of the proposal, Calum wonders why would anyone try and plan a perfect proposal when they could have a botched one that lands them free food. Your band catches the sun and every time Calum watches it in shock that one decision has once again changed his entire life.