#dad!cal

"So pretty." Nico said as she put some flowers on Alexis Ximena's hair.

"Thank you, girlie." Alexis Ximena said.

They were at Madison Square Park while Calum and the band did sound check. Aaliyah and Rory were gonna go but Rory had fallen asleep and didn't want to wake her up. Marina was doing a photoshoot and she took Max with her. Fiona wasn't up for going out so she stayed back at her hotel while Ethan stayed with Aaliyah.

Alexis Ximena checked the time and saw that it was almost time to head back to MSG, where 5sos was performing. She pulled out her phone and ordered Mcdonald's for her and Nico. She got Nico a happy meal and for her the mcnuggets meal and an oreo mcflurry. Alexis Ximena locked her phone and placed it in her backpack and helped Nico in her stroller.

It was about a ten minute walk from the park to the arena. Alexis Ximena picked up their food, it was across the street from the MSG. She flashed her and Nico's passes and they went backstage where they were.

Ethan and Max were watching Bluey whilst sharing a sleeve of Oreos and eating pizza. Nico got off her stroller and joined them. Alexis Ximena helped her food out for her.

The guys came back and Calum went over to greet Nico. He sponged a bunch of kisses all over her face. Then he reached for one of her nuggets and ate it. As he swallowed he realized the mistake he made.

Nico's bottom lip trembled and she pushed her food away. She got up and ran to Alexis Ximena, crying.

"Nico," Calum said, squatting down to her.

She buried her face in Alexis Ximena's chest and cried harder.

"Why would you do that? You know how she gets." Alexis Ximena scolded Calum.

"It slipped my mind." He mumbled.

"Here Nico." Ethan offered some of his Oreos.

"No!" She pushed him away. She doesn't like Oreos.

"I know you're upset I ate your chicken, but you don't push people, Nico." Calum said sternly.

Nico turned away and cried some more. Alexis Ximena rubbed her back. Nico eventually cried herself to sleep. She slept in Alexis Ximena's arms the rest of the evening and through the whole show. She woke up when Calum picked her up so he could change in her pajamas.

"Hi papi." She said groggily.

"Hey, let's get you in some jammers okay?" He said, carrying to the bathroom.

He helped her into her strawberry pajamas. Calum brushed her messy curls into a short braid.

"I'm sorry I ate a nugget." He told her as he tied the end of her braid.

"Is okay." Nico said, making grabby hands so he could carry her.

They went backstage and Nico went back to Alexis Ximena. The other kids had fallen sleep half-way into the concert so she was the only one awake.

"Hi bes, bes." She whispered to Rory as she slept soundly in her bassinet stroller.

She watched Calum pour himself a bowl of Oreo cereal. Surprisingly Nico was a fan of the cereal but not the cookies themselves. While Calum put the milk away, she went up to the counter and began eating some.

"Oi!" He exclaimed.

"Yummy." She said with her mouth full.

"Why are you eating this, you don't even like Oreos." He put his hands on his hips.

They had driven with the kids over to Luke and Sierra’s house, mainly to drop off the kids with Sierra, but also to pick up Luke since he hadn’t wanted to drive. Aiden went running into the house, no problem. It’s never a problem, being that he’s not-so-secretly in love with Sierra. Calum carried Logan into the house and attempted to put him down on the couch, but the toddler squeezed Calum’s neck even tighter, nearly choking him. “Logan, you need to stay here with Auntie Sierra and your brother. We’ll be back for you in a couple hours.”

That was what set him off. The screaming started and the tears started rolling. All Calum could understand through Logan’s hysterical screaming was that Calum was leaving him. As hard as Calum tried to explain that he would be back, Logan could not expect it. Even with Mama saying she would stay with him, he still thought Calum was leaving him. Calum and Mama made eye contact and silently agreed to take the toddler with them.

On the drive to the studio, Luke kept Logan occupied, the car filled with Luke’s laughter and Logan’s laughter. It was when they arrived that Calum picked Logan up out of his car seat and told him to hold onto him until they were in the dressing room. Logan tucked his face into Claum’s neck and Calum reached back to hold onto his wife’s hand, ensuring that no one got lost. Once they were in the dressing room, that was when everything fell into a normal calm.

They were given their 5 minute warning until they had to be ready to go on stage. Calum crouched down to be at Logan’s height, who was sitting on a chair, and this was when he gave him the speech. “Logan, you have to stay with mama no matter what, okay? There are lots of people here and they’re all bigger than you, you could get lost, or get hurt. Do you understand me?” Logan nodded while swinging his legs back and forth. “That’s my boy.” Calum smiled before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Logan’s forehead.

Logan walked with his hand in his mom’s behind Calum and the rest of the guys. At some point, the guys were directed in one direction, and Logan and his mom were directed in another. One went to the stage, the other went to where they could see the stage, but off to the side. They were introduced and made their way to the stage, all four of them sitting on the couch next to the host who sat behind a desk. Calum sat on the end, Luke directly to his left, then Michael to his left, then Ashton to the next left, right next to the host. 

The host asked them questions about their new album and what was coming up in the future for the band. There were of course questions of their personal lives, the ones Calum disliked the most to answer. Calum leaned his head against his hand and listened as the other three answered the questions. Everything was going as it should, until Calum suddenly heard ‘daddy’ being called from a very familiar little voice. When Calum turned, he saw Logan running towards him, tears running down his face. In one swift motion, Logan lifted his arms, and Calum scooped him up onto his lap. Calum calmed Logan for a minute before he realized that everyone was staring at him. “Sorry, he’s going through a phase where he can’t be away from me.” Calum nervously laughed but kept his main focus on Logan.

“Oh, Calum, this is so sweet!” The host cooed excitedly, “I knew you had kids, but I can never remember how old they are. Is this your oldest or your youngest?” The host asked.

“This is my youngest,” Calum kissed the side of his head and allowed Logan to nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck, “Give me a minute to handle this.” Calum says with a soft chuckle. Calum stood, still holding Logan and walked off the stage. The camera followed him as he walked Logan back over to Mama, telling him that he had to stay with her, and that he thought he had understood that.

As soon as he reached Mama, Logan started to throw a fit, not wanting to go to his mom, and wanting to stay with Calum. Calum and Mama went back and forth about trying to get Logan to calm down, but the host spoke up, “Why doesn’t the little one join us?” Calum and mama exchanged a look, but eventually relented and Calum carried Logan back to the stage. 

Calum sat back on the couch in his spot and put Logan on his lap, facing outward. Logan swung his legs, and looked over at the host who asked, “What’s your name?”

“Logan!” he answered with a big smile on his face.

“Logan, how old are you?” The host asked again.

“This many!” Logan excitedly held up three fingers. 

“Wow, you’re so big! Logan, do you love hanging out with your dad all the time?” The host leaned forward a bit to keep Logan’s attention.

Logan nodded furiously and looked back at Calum, “Daddy’s my best friend.” The entire crowd ‘aw’d.’ Calum nearly forgot he was sitting in front of a crowd. Calum smiled at Logan and ran a finger down his cheek, simultaneously moving his hair from his face.

“Do you know the name of your daddy’s band?” Logan nodded and swung his feet, effectively kicking Calum in the shins. Calum nonchalantly grabbed his legs to spot him from kicking him. “Great, I want you to look at that camera and tell it that your daddy’s band is coming up next, playing their new song.” The host pointed, and Logan’s eyes followed.

He looked back at Calum for encouragement and Claum nodded. Logan looked at the camera and said, very shyly, “My daddy’s band, 5 Seconds of Summer, is up next.” The crowd cheered and music started playing, indicating they were headed to a commercial.

Once the commercial break had started, Calum picked Logan up and carried him off stage. “Remember how I told you to stay with mama, no matter what?” Logan nodded, “You didn’t listen.“ Logan looked down, knowing he was in a little bit of trouble. Calum kissed the side of his head, “It’s okay, but you have to stay with mama while I sing my song, okay?” Logan nodded and wrapped his arms around Calum’s neck.

“I’m sorry, daddy, I just love you.” Logan said while resting his chin on Calum’s shoulder.

Calum couldn’t help but to smile, “I love you too, Logan.” With that, they headed back to the dressing room to get ready for their performance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging: @talkfastromance4

Your alarm goes off in the morning and you sigh as you push up from the mattress. Sleep was better than normal but you’ve taken to using the full on black out curtains for Calum since he’s gotten home. The lack of natural light to help rouse you awake gently makes it harder for you to get up. But over the weeks, it’s gotten slightly easier with time. Today’s one of those days that as you push up, you feel good about the day ahead. 

Moving the pillow that was between your knees back up to the head of the bed, you get your feet to the floor and pause. Calum’s at your side of the bed, leaning against the wall but his eyes aren’t focused on anything in particular. A scowl is on his face. “What happened?” you ask. A bit of panic leaks into your voice. You wonder if something happened to one of the guys. Did something happen to Mali? David wasn’t scheduled to come out for a while, but still things could change in an instance. Had something happened to the flight? 

Calum shakes his head. The action causes him to move his arm and you catch his phone lighting up. “It’s out.”

“What’s out?”

“Yesterday--someone recorded us while we were in Target and posted it. I made a tweet but I’ve been up half the night trying to talk to our social team. And as I was making those calls, I felt like a hypocrite.”

You push up finally to fully stand. You reach out with a little hesitation. Would Calum even want to be touched? You ultimately decide to drop your hand, seeing that he doesn’t move closer to you. You take it as a sign that you should possibly tread lightly.  “Why do you feel like a hypocrite?”

“I’m doing the same thing I got mad at you about. What if you don’t really care if people know? What if it’s all just me? But I can’t help but think the last thing I want to happen now is that you be out and get stopped by fans. Or God forbid, you’re delivering and there’s a fucking mob outside the birth center because somehow fans have figured it out.”

“So you like the idea of a birth center too?” you tease. As much as Calum was willing to listen to your concerns, he harped on about safety measures. Birth centers were only the recent debate surrounding his safety kick. 

Calum’s gaze finally drops from the ceiling to you with a tiny smile lifting at his lips. “I might’ve been convinced in all my late night pacing.”

“Want some coffee for this conversation?” you ask, offering your elbow out. 

Calum goes for your hand instead and nods.  Now with less distance between the two of you, you catch the faint note of nicotine from Calum. “It’ll be my second cup and today seems like the day I’ll need it.”

For all that it matters, Calum had done well with his smoking until now. Ashton kept tabs on him and sent you updates periodically. Though, neither one of you made it super obvious that you were paying attention.  Now, undoubtedly the stress he’s surmounted and feels like he’s facing, you keep a close lip around the scent. The two of you pad softly to the kitchen. Joy’s taken to getting up either when you do a little before and as you two round the corner to the kitchen, you spot the light on. 

“Who’s been in my kitchen?” she asks aloud. 

“Me, Mum. And technically, it’s my kitchen,” Calum quips. He gives her a kiss on her cheek. 

“You look like hell, son.”

“I feel like hell.”

Joy turns and spots you. Her eyes ask if you know. You give a so-so or somewhat gesture with your hand and she turns back to Calum. “Should I refresh this pot then?” she offers. 

“Great minds think alike,” Calum grins, already getting fresh grounds into the machine. 

The kitchen falls silent around the work of Calum. But like he knows that everyone is watching him, he drops his hands to the counter to support his weight. “What do you think, babe?” He looks up and over to you.

“About?”

His brows furrow. “I didn’t show you anything, did I? I’m sorry. I’ve been a mess since last night,” he confesses. 

“It’s okay to be a mess sometimes.” 

You stand on the opposite side of the bar height counter top. So Calum steps closer and extends his phone out to you. You take it, going to unlock it. Maybe it matters less about you and more about what Calum feels comfortable doing. You had told coworkers and some other friends. People close enough to you already knew. Had it really mattered if the thousands and millions of other people knew too? You were now closing in on your third trimester. Things were looking good for you and baby boy Hood. A stark change to your perspective from before you know. But maybe the cosmos had a way of operating that was just beyond your understanding. Or maybe even if your mind has changed the distinct stress on Calum’s face takes precedent.

“What do you want?” you ask Calum. 

“What do you want?” he counters. 

“I want you to feel like we’re safe and that you’re in a place where you feel comfortable with what’s public and what isn’t.” 

Calum nods but not without comment. “And I want you to feel like you have a say.”

Of course, he did. You unlock his phone only to stare at the cluttered Home Screen. While Calum wasn’t disorganized, his strategies were much different than yours. You don’t mess with any of the text messages. “Where should I go?”

“Twitter,” Calum answers. 

You load the app--the mentions are a cluttered mess and you can see why he’s got literally every notification setting turned off for any social media app. You go to his profile first and read through the tweet he made. In the early parts of your pregnancy it was important to you to keep this quiet. Things were in a state where they could rapidly shift from good to bad and from bad to good, or bad to worse. There was no reason why you’d want to have to put that sort of information out into the world when it was constantly in flux and already stressful on its own. In addition, you know Calum. You can take one look at him and understand the words that don’t always fall from his lips. It’s not so much a secret language as it’s finally cracking the code on Calum’s language and him cracking the code on your language. 

You two have become proficient and fluent in the languages of each other. “What has your social team said?” you ask. 

“They’ll try to contact the person who originally posted the video and ask them to remove it. But it’s being reposted all over. So there’s no real way to stop it now. I’m waiting for an update now.”

“And am I correct to assume I shouldn’t go look at the video or what people are saying?”

Calum nods. He read only a few comments. Some were shocked by the news and happy. Others were much meaner in their remarks. “None of it changes how I feel about you or our baby. Nor does any of it have any bearing in our relationship.”

“Well, I always knew that,” you laugh. You set his phone down on the counter just as the coffee pot settles. Joy steps in to divvy out the cups and mugs. 

Calum’s mug billows with steam from beneath him. You take the mug Joy extends out to you with a quick thanks and let the warmth seep into your palms for just a moment before you set it down. You notice your mug is filled with decaf tea as an alternative and you’re not even sure when Joy got the kettle going for it to steep. But you appreciate her careful eye. 

“I think privacy is important. And I don’t fault you for taking steps to make it clear that this pregnancy is a private matter,” you return. “Who knows? Maybe people will start deleting what they’ve shared now that you’ve tweeted about it.”

“I can only hope,” Calum returns.  The two of you share a nod--an agreement that whatever steps Calum has taken are okay to continue down--and then both take a sip from your respective mugs. “I’ll give up alcohol for you, but never caffeine,” Calum jokes after his sip. 

“And I would never want you to.” 

“I’ll fix all of us breakfast and that way you can get ready, love,” Calum offers. 

You nod and Joy’s silent from the corner of the kitchen. As the two of you lock eyes, she gives you a tiny nod. She’ll keep an eye out on him while you’re gone. “Me and Duke will post up in the living room I guess. Lots of cuddles needed to be had,” Joy laughs. 

By the time you’re dressed and ready for work, but not forgetting to enjoy the breakfast that Calum prepared, you’re ahead of your normal schedule. You consider it a sign. You’ll leave work earlier too because of it. Calum walks you to the car. He gets your bag into the passenger side, but you can tell by his face that there is so much more on his mind. “I’m worried about you and if something happens at work,” Calum confesses, looking down at the car door. “I can feel you staring at me and I figure rather than making you ask, I’ll just tell you.”

“I’m going to be okay. We’ve got security at work. If it looks really bad, I can call them,” you offer. 

“I know. I also reached out to one of our security guards. If anything goes wrong, or seems bad, you let me know. We have a guy ten minutes from your job.”

“Please tell me he happens to live close to my job and not that you have him posted up near it.”

Calum chuckles. “He lives out there.”

“Poor man did not ask to deal with this.”

“But I’m just glad he’s happy to help,” Calum states softly. “Be safe today.”

It sounds like a plea to you, to the universe, to any and every force. You nod in return. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

The rest of your day is uneventful. When you get to the office, it’s just you and the custodians for a moment. A few more people filter in in the early morning and then as the day progresses the office fills out more and more. In your morning break, refreshing your water bottle, Sharon, one of your co-workers steps up to you. “Hey, you doing okay?” she asks. 

You nod. “Yeah, doing good on my end. How’s your sister and niece?”

“They’re doing well. My niece is dreading the end of summer, but ain’t it how it always goes,” Sharon laughs. 

“The summer breaks really aren’t that long.”

“Speaking of my niece,” Sharon drops her volume just a little, “I heard about a video on Twitter. What is-how are you actually doing?”

Part of you is curious just how much Sharo knows or what she say, but you know if you go doing you’ll find more than what you’re looking for. “We know. His team is on it, I think. Mostly just trying to lay low,” you return with a nod. 

She hums. “Yeah, I get that. I was shocked that she even remembered you from the holiday party--my niece. She just happened upon it and then sent it to me asking if that was you. I didn’t respond, but I was shocked considering how long it’d been.”

“Seems to be a hazard of the job for him,” you return. “Hoping it blows over really.”

“Understandable, really. If you need anything, let me know.”

There’s something in the way that Sharon’s got you almost pinned to the wall that makes you wonder if the conversation is as friendly as it was supposed to appear. You only nod in response and then slip away back to your desk. You don’t want the circumstances to cloud your judgment, but you also can’t be blind to them. Besides, better to err on the side of caution than to be caught in a bigger mess. When you’re done for the day and go out to the parking garage, you keep your phone pulled up on Calum’s number. You’d rather wait an extra ten or so minutes hiding out in the lobby bathroom of the building than get cornered again. 

But there’s nothing but the bright morning sun. There’s nothing besides the clack of people walking past and the chatter of their voices. The drive back home you take in silence. Not even the radio plays faintly. It’s just you and the rush of the wind in through your windows as you carry yourself through the streets. As you turn up into your neighborhood, you realize just how tense your shoulders are, how much you’ve been pulled up close to the steering wheel. 

Calum’s waiting for you on the front steps as you pull into the driveway. Behind him you spot Ashton peeking his head out of the door with a wave. You wave up at him and he ducks back inside. Calum grins as he approaches the driver side door. “You survived.”

“Thankfully,” you laugh in return. “Is it just Ashton?”

Calum nods. “Michael was by earlier and Luke said he’d be by after dinner. I think they’re taking shifts.”

“You’ve been that much of a nervous wreck?”

“I care deeply about you and Pumpkin. Fucking sue me,” he returns, helping you out of the car. 

“Be careful what you wish for.”

__

“Still not feeling good?” Calum asked, eyebrows pulled together in worry as he came downstairs to find you pacing the living room floor with the baby in your arms.

“Fuckin’ miserable,” you chuckled wearily. You weren’t sure who was more miserable- Noah experiencing his first cold, or you knowing you couldn’t do anything beyond letting the cold run its course.

“How long have you guys been up?”

“No idea.” Time became irrelevant when soothing an inconsolable infant. 5 minutes felt like 5 hours.

“Able to put Noah down at all?”

“No. Holding him is the only way he seems somewhat content.”

“Here,” Calum said, holding out his arms.

“Don’t you have to meet the guys at the studio?”

“Not for a while,” he answered, taking the fussy boy from you.

You shook out your arms, wincing as you did so. “Thanks,” you yawned. “Shit… I’m exhausted.”

Calum ducked slightly to kiss your forehead. “Go get some rest, love. I got this.”

“You sure?”

“Promise.”

“Okay… just come get me before you have to head out, and I’ll take Noah.”

“Nah, I said I got it.”

“Cal… you guys have been trying to get studio time all year. The guys need you.”

“My son needs me. Look, there’s always gonna be studio time. But how many days am I gonna get to do this?”

“Probably not enough,” you admitted with a deep sigh. “Alright. Just, give the guys a decent heads up.”

“Course. Now go to bed before I carry you there myself.”

You cocked an eyebrow. “You really think you can carry me and Noah at the same time?”

“Don’t test me, woman. You know I’ll do it.”

“Alright, alright,” you giggled, pressing a swift kiss to Calum’s cheek and the back of Noah’s head. “I’m going.”

As you disappeared upstairs, Calum took up residency on the couch. He tilted his head to check if Noah was asleep before carefully pulling his phone free from his sweatpants pocket. “Hey guys,” he whispered immediately once all the calls connected.

“Why are we whispering?” Michael asked.

“Noah’s asleep,” Calum explained.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And I’m kinda stuck. So I’m not coming in.”

“What?!” was the outraged whisper. “Cal! Do you know how hard it was to book this session?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fuckin’ aware. But my son is sick. And the only way he’s sleeping right now is if he’s being held. So I’m stuck. Sorry. Actually... I’m not sorry.”

“Shit… well fuckin’ lead with Noah being sick next time! He alright? Anything we can do to help?”

“He’s alright for now. Finally asleep after I have no idea how long. Told Y/N to go to bed because she was up with him all night probably.”

“Shit, alright. Gimme like an hour. I’m gonna make some calls. See if I can reschedule the studio session. Then we’ll be over,” Ashton offered. “Right, guys?”

While Luke and Michael murmured in agreement, Calum shook his head. “Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. I mean, if you guys still want to head to the studio, that’s cool.”

“Nah,” Luke said with a shake of his head. “We’ll come over. Help with Noah.”

“It’s a done deal, Cal. Honestly, what did you think was gonna happen?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know? I thought I was gonna spend the day holding my son. Didn’t really give two fucks what you lot decided to do.”

“Well, we’re deciding to come help take care of our nephew. So deal with it.”

__

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