#cws:

Gordon… didn't mean to explode on Benrey. Not really. Yes, he was mad. His whole mental state got manipulated, but he didn't really want to scare them. Even though they scared Gordon, they're still… sort of trying to not do that. And Gordon appreciates it — he doesn't want them to suddenly realize that they're able to kill Gordon with a snap of their fingers.

It's also sort of weird, that they're letting Gordon get away with so much? Just— well, the fact that Benrey's purposefully starving themself at the moment since they were supposed to eat Gordon, and just… nothing else has happened yet. There hasn't been anything else dropped into the cell. 

Gordon lets out a breath. He's bored. His eyes dart over to where Benrey's sitting again, and they're intently staring at their hands. Gordon sighs again, before hitting his knees with his hands. "You know anything we can do to pass the time?"

"whuh?" Benrey's eyes shoot up to Gordon's, before they look away and break eye contact. They don't say anything further, and Gordon's fingers tap against his thigh. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Right as he opens his mouth to repeat the question, Benrey finally answers him. "um. not anything we can do right now, unless you got somethin' stashed on you we could use to draw with."

Well, fuck. "No. Damn." His fingers continue to tap on his thigh. "Oh, I have an idea. C'mere." Benrey stares at him for a moment, unmoving. He resists the urge to roll his eyes, instead motioning them over with his hand. After a moment, the demon hesitantly moved closer to Gordon. 

— — — 

Gordon finished teaching Benrey the rules of thumb wars, and wanted to learn more human games that they could play to pass the time. The only other one Gordon could think of was rock-papper-scissors.

And somehow, Benrey was fucking goated.

"How do you keep winning?" Gordon asks, jaw dropped. "It's— it's statistically not possible! If you can read my mind, this is super cheating."

Benrey's grin grows more as they stretch their hand out flat, and back into a fist. "nah, s'just means i'm better," Benrey says, and Gordon knows they're lying. 

"You've won the past ten games!" Gordon threw his arms in the air for dramatic affect, "You must have some demonic trick up your sleeve, man! No one can win ten games straight without cheating!"

"gordon mad 'cause bad?"

Gordon covered his laugh by scoffing, crossing his arms and leaning away from Benrey. "No. Gordon's not mad."

"me when i lie, but ok," Benrey says, leaning forward to watch Gordon, staring unblinking. "go again? please and thank you?"

Gordon laughs, but nods his head. "Okay, fine, one more round." Benrey's face lights up, and the two put their hands in the middle. In unison, they shout the words, and as Gordon's fist flattens to paper, Benrey screams.

Gordon flinches, eyes wide open as he stares at them. "it was an atomic bomb, bro." The smile on their face is malicious, and they know it. "it means i win. again."

"That— That doesn't count!" Gordon sputters, once his brain is working again. "Atomic bomb isn't a legal play!"

"but it destroys everything?" They say, "atom bomb equals win, easy math bro."

"That's not how the game works and you know it." Gordon's struggling to hold back his laughter. "That's it. You've lost rock-paper-scissors privileges."

Benrey pouts at him — an overdramatic gesture where their bottom lip is poking out all of the way. Gordon shakes his head, and Benrey sighs, before saying, "wanna do a phalange battle then?"

Gordon pauses, staring at them. After several long moments of silence, Gordon simply just says, "what?"

"y'know," Benrey says without continuing, gesturing with their hand. "phalange battle." They demonstrate, locking their two hands together (and Gordon ignores the way he watches their thumb move across the back of their hand to be next to their pinkie finger), and—

"Thumb wars— Jesus Christ, Benrey, put your thumb back!" Gordon slaps Benrey's hands away, ignoring the nausea ever growing in his stomach. It was probably because of Benrey. 

Benrey's toothy grin stays on their face as they look over their hand, poking at the thumb in the new location. "cool," they say, and Gordon can't tell if they're talking to themself, or if they were acknowledging Gordon. "nah. it'll give me an advantage, trust."

"How?" Gordon asks, before sighing — he's learned sometimes it's better to just roll with whatever nonsense comes out of Berney's mouth. "Nevermind that — you're way stronger than me, it won't even be fair."

"nuh uh, benrey can play nice— nicesies for loserman."

Oh my God.

But. Then again, Gordon is bored.

And this way he at least can mess with Benrey for cheating. So, he holds his right arm out for Benrey, and the two of them interconnect their hands. They started the motions, two, four, six, eight— all of that jazz. But right as Benrey declared war, their head snapped to the roof and snarled.

Physically snarled. Skin stretched back, baring their fangs and completely unfocused on Gordon. Less than a second later, the walls started humming with crazy electricity that threatened to snap back and shock anyone close to them (which was very hard, thank you, due to the small size of this fucking cell.)

A voice Gordon doesn't recognize talks over the intercom. "You know the drill, Subject 178-A."

What the fuck is happening? Gordon looks up from Benrey to the roof where he watches something thump against a fogged up layer, before the second sheet is pulled off and it falls onto the ground behind Benrey.

The piece of something slides back in place, and the walls stop shooting electricity out of them. "What was that about?" Gordon asks cautiously, having fear injected into his veins from Benrey's sudden change of behaviour. He should know better — he hasn't known this demon for more than a couple of days max, of course Gordon doesn't know anything about them.

But just like that, Benrey shifted back into their regular form — or the one they've been maintaining since Gordon woke up in here, anyways. And so, he dares to peak around Benrey to see what exactly fell behind them.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Gordon has to turn, a hand shooting up to his face to cover his mouth. He was going to be sick.

It— There was a person. 

There is a dead person in the room with him. 

Gordon feels his stomach tighten, threatening him. He felt like he was going to puke, and the smell of iron that suddenly hit his nose didn't help. Oh, God.

Their neck was slit. There was enough time from whenever they originally got taken between being killed, because bruises were on their body. Deep, purple and blue and black colors all over their wrists. The person — they struggled. 

Gordon crouches over in a corner and pukes. Because of him.

He gags again. This person died because Benrey didn't eat him. His body kicks into overdrive, fear and nausea overtaking him as his strength is dying. His body shivers, hands shaking as he tries to lean against a wall. 

Of course this was going to happen. Why did Gordon think this would be fine? He's been trapped in a cell with a literal fucking demon for days. He should have known — he should have known they were going to bring someone else— an innocent person they killed—

He’s going to be sick again.

Acid raises up his throat, and he heaves into the corner once more. His whole body is shaking, and the hair on the back of his neck rises, and he knows he’s trapped with something stronger than he could ever imagine.

“calm down?” Their voice bounces off the walls, “it’s ok?”

Calm down? Black Mesa — the fucking company he worked for has been killing people to fucking feed their pet demon! How the fuck can Gordon be calm right now? His heart was beating faster than it ever has before, muffling all the sounds around him. All he could hear was blood rushing through his skull, his head beating in his chest. 

Gordon felt something wet hit his back, and it immediately soaks through his clothing into his skin. His heart beat calmed down. His breathing evened out. He slowly turns to face Benrey (oh, god. The body is still there. But he can't bring himself to care— why doesn't he care?), and they look worried. Scared, maybe? Why would they be scared of Gordon?

"it's ok?" They say again, and Gordon stares. "you calm down?"

They calmed Gordon down using the fucking Sweet Voice. Again. Gordon doesn't like that, especially how he explicitly told them not to fucking do that. He doesn't like someone else being able to manipulate his emotions like that. He would probably be really pissed if the Sweet Voice wasn't actively in his system. "Don't do that again," he says, before looking away from Benrey and the corpse behind them. 

A corpse. One of the many missing people that Black Mesa's killed.

Gordon's never seen a dead person before, in all honesty. He's seen skeletons, sure, but those were old bones. He's never seen the skin and flesh still there. The blood is still pooling from the wound on their neck. 

Maybe Gordon is a bit glad that Benrey 'calmed' him down. He would probably still be vomiting into the corner if not. Which. Is not good. No one's given him food since he got thrown in here.

They're probably waiting for Gordon to starve to death.

Oh. Well, that's not a very nice thought. He sighs, dipping his head into his hands. He feels weird — he knows he should be freaking out about this. But the Sweet Voice made him stay relaxed. He hears the sound of Benrey… shifting. It's the best thing Gordon could call it — when they become all abstract. Gordon doesn't know if it's their true form, or something else, but he can't bring himself to care right now. 

Gordon closes his eyes, palms pressing into his face as he hears Benrey eat the person that Black Mesa dropped into the cell. He could have known them. Everyone who's gone missing have been low level employees, Gordon could have known who that was. 

He hears Benrey shift back into their humanoid form. That only took a few seconds. A small part of him is curious, tugging in his chest. But the rest of him couldn't bring himself to care. 

Because he's going to die here. The fact hits him in the chest again, but he doesn't panic. He doesn't worry. Because it's inevitable now, isn't it? Either Benrey will kill him, or he'll starve to death. He's lucky enough that Benrey's sharing the water now, but how long until that changes? Dehydration is quicker than starvation, but it's very painful. Total organ shutdown, or something. 

Not that starving to death is any better. Maybe he could still convince Benrey to make his suffering quick and painless.

But do they even know how to kill a person? Gordon doesn't want to be eaten alive. Or torn apart, or however they eat people. Maybe he should have actually watched— 

No. That— That was a real person. Not— This isn't some fucking science experiment. They were a real fucking person. A real person, who had to die because Gordon lived.

Fucking hell. Get a hold of yourself, Gordon. 

"are, uh… you ok?" Benrey asks, and Gordon looks up towards them. He doesn't know how much body language or what expressions mean, but he hopes he's giving off the proper amount of are you fucking kidding me? towards them. "lots'a… lots'a grossness over there," they continue, before pointing to the corner Gordon threw up at.

"Dude," he says, and his stomach churns again. 

"humans need food," Benrey says, as if Gordon doesn't know this. "not a smart… smart gamer move to toss it from your inventory, bro."

"It's not like I wanted to!" Gordon responds, throwing an arm in the air. 

"calm down?"

"No. Don't— Don't fucking blow your balls at me," Gordon hisses, and Benrey backs up. Good. "Why do you even fucking do that, man? It's not like I can fuckin' do anything to you."

"but you're a human." Benrey stares, and Gordon can see them bite the inside of their cheek. "humans are dangerous. bad to be near one when backed into a corner — s'room is one big corner. don't wanna get hurt."

"You're a literal demon, man! How can I do anything to hurt you?"

"'m not a demon, i dunno what that even is," Benrey replies, and Gordon has to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Right as he's about to respond, Benrey continues, "'m not… from here. y'know. not this, uh… planet. got taken."

What?

"Are you saying you're an alien?"

"says the alien," Benrey mumbles, trying to rile Gordon up. 

Okay, no. This can't— aliens? Real? Gordon shakes his head, before staring up at the ceiling. Aliens can't be real, right? But… here Gordon was, claiming Benrey was some sort of actual cryptic, or demon, or something. Those have evidence though — not anything proper, but more than aliens, right?

But then again, Gordon doesn't really know what he works for. Aliens— It might not be too far from what the higher ups in Black Mesa do.

This doesn't feel real. Why would Black Mesa even want anything to do with extraterrestrial life? And Benrey said they were taken — has Black Mesa been able to kidnap an alien and bring them to Earth?

On the other hand, if Benrey really is an alien, how the fuck do they know all the fucking gamer slang they've been saying? It's not— It's not like they're fucking showing them video games. (Probably not. Right?)

Though it might be stuff the employees talk about? Not realizing that Benrey could understand?

"How long have you been here?" Gordon doesn't mean to ask the question, yet the words tumble out of his mouth. Because Benrey knows English. He can hold conversations to the point where Gordon thought they were fluid — someone can't just pick that up in a few days. 

"eight months, maybe?" Benrey replies, and… that lines up. That's about the time the employees started to go missing. "that's what the uh… scientists say."

Holy fuck. Fucking christ. They've been keeping a fucking alien down here, in some part of Black Mesa, without anyone realizing. 

And Gordon was supposed to be fed to it.

A small laugh escapes Gordon's chest. Of course. Of course this would be his luck, to meet an alien and get stuck with them. Meant to be nothing more than food, but manages to survive. And now he's fucking talking to one. More giggles burst from his chest as he presses his hands to his eyes again.

This is so ridiculous. "what's funny?" Benrey asks, causing Gordon to laugh even more. He's always been a nervous giggler, even if he never wanted to admit it. But he couldn't help himself — he was supposed to die, and he's laughing to himself.

He's such a fucking dumbass.

"It's— It's nothing, Benrey," Gordon manages to say, dampening his laughter. Today has been a fucking car crash of emotions. "Don't— Don't worry about it, okay?"

"benrey wants to be involved," they say, fake pouting and crossing their arms, but a small smile breaks on their face when Gordon chuckles at the dramatics. 

Gordon knows that this situation he was in sucks. He's been ruminating on that fact for the past three days. But if he's going to die here, he's going to make the most of it. Benrey isn't bad company, even if they like to get on Gordon's nerves. Hell, Benrey probably is enjoying the company if Gordon has to guess — he doesn't know if Benrey's… species is a social one like humans or not, but if he got kidnapped and locked in a cell for months on end, he would gladly take the company of a strange alien lifeform.

He bites the inside of his lip. He wants— no, he needs to ask Benrey questions. They're an alien? This is— This is incredible. Extraterricular life, and he's been with them for the past few days. So many questions fly through his head.

How are they surviving in Earth's astrosphere? Is it similar to their home planet? What is their natural diet, surely they couldn't have evolved to consume humans like Black Mesa's been feeding them?

"What?" Gordon asks, catching Benrey staring at him. 

"bro, i can, like… hear your brain gears turning, or whatever. thinkin' that hard, s'gonna hurt your brain."

Gordon snorts, shaking his head. "Sorry, man. It's just— wow, you know?"

"not really." Wow, way to make a guy feel loved. "i mean… earth's always been sorta a no-contact zone, y'know? but in terms of other sentient life, it's not that surprising."

Gordon… supposes that makes sense? "Wait, why is Earth a no-contact zone?" He asks. "Humanity has wanted to get into contact for centuries."

"'cause you're dangerous. agile, violent. you guys actively eat shit that poisons you. which is actually pretty badass but," Benrey shrugs. "you should teach me how to eat poisons, bee-tee-dubs, it would freak bubbles out sooo bad, it would be so funny."

Gordon chuckles, shaking his head. "For sure, man," he says through a yawn, "as soon as we get out of here. I'll get you a Carolina reaper to eat."

The two sat in silence for a while, Gordon just letting the buzz of the sweet voice do its thing, reeling in the fact that aliens are real. Because, holy shit. Aliens are real! Extraterrestrial life, it's… wow. He never particularly had any extreme interest in that — aliens were always more of Lilith's thing, but still — Gordon's mind is sort of exploding, right now.

"Are… Is everyone— everyone else scared of humans?" Gordon asks, and Benrey nods their head. Damn. Gordon's never thought of humans as scary. "Does that mean you're scared of me?" He asks Benrey, turning to look at them with a teasing smile. 

Benrey snorts, "bro, you're like a puppy. obvs i'm not scared of you." They say that, and Gordon bites his lip, deciding to leave it. He hasn't… He's seen Benrey flinch away from him. Hell, that's one of the main reasons Benrey used the sweet voice on Gordon — to calm him down when he was freaking out earlier.

They probably did it because they were afraid. Gordon hasn't even considered the fact that Benrey could be scared of Gordon. Because— Hell, Benrey themself is terrifying. And Gordon is terrifying to them.

But they're not saying that. Instead, they're looking at Gordon with those lime green eyes (which— they definitely have to be changing colors, right? ), and their head cocked, like whenever they were messing with him. So Gordon nods at Benrey's words, and doesn't say anything. 

"How do you even know what a puppy is?" Gordon yawns as he speaks, changing the subject. He watches Benrey's shoulders drop, and he didn't even notice the tension in them as they were talking about it. 

"'cause i got my passport?" They say, the shit-eating grin growing on their face as Gordon groans. "everyone knows what puppies are, bro."

"Shut the fuck up," Gordon groans dramatically, falling back onto the bed. He yawns once more, covering his mouth with his hand as he ignores Benrey's face scrunching up when he does. Gordon doesn't have that fuzzy feeling anymore from the sweet voice, and instead, he feels completely drained.

Probably all of the adrenaline running out of his body, which means the sweet voice is probably wearing off as well. Tiredness soaks through his bones almost immediately, and he can feel his eyelids getting heavy. "If those fuckers try and kill me in my sleep," Gordon starts, taking a deep, long breath as he shifts in the cot, "could you kill me first? Preferably quickly. That— The person they brought in, they struggled. It'd rather just go peacefully in my sleep, yeah?"

Gordon can feel the pull of sleep dragging him further into slumber. He can hear Benrey reply, but it's far away. "'m not gonna let 'em hurt you," they mutter, and Gordon couldn't tell if they just whispered it or if he's just that tired. Hell, he could have just imagined that for his own comfort.

Either way, his eyes close, drifting off to sleep once more, and he tries not to think about the corpse that dropped into their cell.

His voice carries through the house, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry- I didn't mean to! I- forgive me I didn't mean to hurt them-"

The begging wasn't for her, she knew that, but he was so scared she worried she might've hurt him in some way, "Shh Helio don't waste your energy. You're safe now."

What had he done? What happened here? She hadn't gotten a clear answer from him when he was lucid, and the fever only got worse. It'd become unnaturally high, and far too fast. It wasn't a normal fever, but she feared the truth too much to admit it out loud to him. It'd scare him too much.

When a high level mage becomes gravely injured, they have two options. Heal naturally, meaning they go through a lengthy recovery period and risk their body rejecting magic all together, killing them slowly. Or they become an elemental. Their body taking on certain aspects of their magic, healing them at the price of no longer being fully human.

Jade's hand found Helio's, gently prying his nails from the soft skin of his neck. He groaned in response, death gripping her hand as she swapped the damp cloth on his face.

Her voice shook, reminded of the weeks she'd spent on a cot, blood red stone slowly emerging from what remained of her arm, "You're doing great."

"Just kill me. Please. It hurts- it hurts so much— make it stop—" he screamed. A deep, gutteral scream she could've heard from down the street. He flailed, trying to move away from something she couldn't see.

Jade wrapped her arms around his chest, trying to keep him still, looking for what he was fleeing from. Then she noticed the smoke coming from his bandages, the acrid scent of burning blood filling the room.

Before she could stop him, Helio clawed the bandages from his leg to find his blood dripping out like lava bubbling from a volcano. He retched, covering his mouth until he could throw up onto the floor beside them, shaking violently as what remained of his lunch boiled on the tile flooring.

Jade nearly threw up herself, the scent of vomit mixing with burning flesh was too much to stomach. Helio was barely moving, his head at an awkward angle on her shoulder. His breaths came in shallow gasps as he slumped into her.

She hated what she had to do. She hated the risk she had to take. What it would do to him. Whether he would forgive her.

"This is going to hurt like hell." She whispered, extracting herself from behind him, "You're probably going to pass out. I'm sorry."

She hauled him forward, pulling him into a fireman carry, cringing as his blood began to trickle down her arm, burning her clothes and flowing along the ridges of the stone she called a limb. His core settled just behind her head, the heat nearly unbearable.

Predictably, being flipped sideways made him pass out. His head hung low, tears flowing towards his hair line, the trails they left evaporating quickly.

--

Before he was aware of himself, Helio was already struggling to free himself. He was being held in a pool of ice water, only his injured leg held above water.

"Stop moving or you'll make it worse!" Jade's voice called from somewhere near his legs, "I can't keep your wound dry if you keep struggling."

He was far more lucid than he was before, but he almost wished he'd stayed unconscious. His body wasn't suited for cold anymore. It hurt. Everything hurt. It was as if he was burning, like his skin was blistering and he'd be covered in scars. He could barely think.

As he processed more of his surroundings, he found he was in a creek. There was no ice, and yet he was freezing. Familiar trees towered above, the pines of the woods he'd become fond of in his time in the realm.

Helio clawed at the edge of the creek, his hands finding purchase at the rocky shore. He didn't really question whether it was , too desprate to free himself from the water. Gravel dug into his ribs as he hauled himself to the shore.

A new voice, steeped in annoyance, called after him, "Idiot boy. You're going to open your wound again."

A familiar cloak was wrapped around him as he was lifted carefully into Jade's arms, "Helio, calm down. Please. You're going to give yourself a fever again."

"Where am I?" He asked into the fabric of her shirt, pressing his face into her.

"In the woods. I couldn't take you into town, they'd find you too easily. So I called in a favor." She wrapped the cloak around his bare backside, thankful for his small stature as she easily maneuvered him.

The same unfamiliar voice from before could be heard, now closer, "Now I don't owe you. Take your elemental somewhere else."

Jade tensed, holding him tighter, "He's still human." Jade snapped.

He turned to find a woman made entirely from water, arms crossed over a liquidy chest, "Hmph. Keep telling yourself that, earth ganasi."

Helio's head spun, what was happening? Was he dreaming? "What?"

"You have some explaining to do, soldier." The woman spat, dissappearing into the river he'd just escaped from.

He turned to Jade and found her crying, "Fuck you, Lupi."

--

Helio was bundled up in Jade's extra clothes, her cloak wrapped around his shoulders, the collar wet from his hair. He was thankful to once more cover up the bruises he was painted in. He watched her pull food from her bag, leftovers from the meal they'd shared a few nights before.

She was gently illuminated by a modest campfire they'd built after she pronounced them far enough from the town. Her own clothes were singed, the shirt ruined, a whole sleeve missing, showing a limb of stone beneath.

Helio couldn't help but stare at it. She'd hidden it so well. He knew she had a bad arm— she was discharged for it only a year before —but he hadn't expected a stone prosthetic. She must constantly be casting when it moved, which explained the sling she wore sometimes.

She handed him a warm metal cup and a spoon, the scent of his simple fried rice dissipating into the night. He took it graciously, not daring to break the silence she'd established at the river.

The words they'd used floated around in his mind. He'd been called an elemental. He wasn't. Surely he wasn't. He was still human. Elementals were rabid beasts; people who had gone too far, indulged in their magic too much.

Helio pressed his hand to the covered wound on his thigh, tracing his thumb across the rock-like scab formed. His... blood? (Was it blood anymore?) had hardened into some sort of volcanic rock. It scared him.

Jade sat back, leaning against her bag, head resting on the sleeping bag strapped to the top, "Explain. Why did I find you bleeding out in the middle of the road."

He placed his food to the side, losing his appetite, "It was an accident."

"I got that. You wouldn't stop apologizing earlier." She withheld the details about him begging her to kill him. It was too fresh.

Helio blanched, scared of the lapse in his memory, "I was walking home and these guards who were escorting a young noble boy started to shout at me. I tried to ignore them. It was just the usual harassment." he was spooked by a tear falling onto his hand. He paused, blinking away the tears, wishing he wouldn't be so affected by it after all these years. He'd commited the crime of being a refugee, and he'd paid for it nearly every day.

Jade's expression betrayed her anger, "Did they attack you?"

"It was barely anything." He put a hand to his ribs, gentely probing the bruise they'd left. "I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have done anything. Sometimes they leave me alone if I just walk away."

Jade's grip on her cup was so tight it bent the handle, "That's what that bruise was."

Helio shrunk into the cloak more, "It's fine, really. I've had worse. I've just never fought back before. It- it wasn't intentional. The fire just comes out on its own. I hit the boy they were guarding and they..." he pulled his good leg up, sobbing into the pant leg.

Not realizing she'd moved, he started slightly when Jade sat beside him, a stable presence as she laid her arm protectively over his shoulders, holding back her own tears, "You're not going back there."

He shook, "They left me for dead- If you hadn't— if-"