Haunted VCR bought off Ebay

The world's most comfortable shoes but they've been filled with ketchup

A even-ratio mix of 5 Hour Energy and Carolina Reaper hot sauce

A hug from the Sludge Entity that lives in your fridge

Ten thousand cicadas

Unlabeled jar of glowing liquid

Five weeks in THE BOG

Some random bootleg game that's been sitting in a bargain bin for 20 years

Bag of teeth

Durian-flavored breath mints

Carpet made of loose Lego pieces

The most delicious food in the universe but it leaves you completely colorblind

You're on a motorcycle ride w Sam but it never stops. Ever.

Vala and you are Teletubbies. She's the purple one, ur the red one

Ur at the mall w Jack. He gets lost and it closes while you're searching for him

You're teaching Teal'c how to do ballet. U have 9 yrs exp but hes better than u

You and Rodney are 2-dimensional. U can sense but not talk to each other in 2D

Ur a Russian doll kangaroo. U live in Ronon's pouch, Woolsey lives in ur pouch

Ur in a room w 23 Daniels speaking 23 diff languages. Constantly. Loudly.

U marry Weir, a princess, for an alliance but her father is planning to kill you

U and Jonas are being chased by an angry monkey for stealing his banana

You're a fish. John is ur aquarium handler but he's just that blob who feeds u

You are the Stargate. A lot of people go in and out of you. Slut.

eat a spoonful of moisturizer

moisturize with mayonnaise

No

Yes

James Potter and Severus Snape

Minerva McGonagall and Dolores Umbridge

Ginny Weasley and Tom Riddle

Remus Lupin and Bellatrix Lestrange

Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew

Fleur Delacour and Barty Crouch Jr.

Nymphadora Tonks and Fenrir Greyback

Flitwick steals Sprout's knickers and wears them

Minerva and Severus are friends with benefits and meet in Filch's dungeon

Dumbledore has peepholes for the professors' bathrooms

Hagrid gives the house elves aphrodisiacs to breed more

Hagrid likes to watch the house elves

Moaning Myrtle bangs the Bloody Baron in the staff room

Professor Binns joins Myrtle x Baron after staff meetings

Slughorn has gay panic and Dumbledore takes advantage of his boggart