#cullenmancers

^performance review footage. redacted for content

SKYHOLD PERSONNEL OFFICE — PROBATIONARY REVIEW

Candidate: Cmdr. C. Rutherford

Position applied for: [redacted by the Inquisitor, blushing]

Initiative: Exceptional. Packed bedrolls unprompted, called it “a contingency,” later confessed under no duress whatsoever that their use was “the desired outcome.”

Hands-on instruction: Thorough. Distressingly thorough.

Communication: Strong written and verbal. Oral skills are noted as especially exceptional.

Areas for growth: [redacted by the Inquisitor, giggling about dessert and uniform casualties]

Note from the hiring manager (the Inquisitor): no notes. 10/10. Arrived feeling like a lumpy ham, left the most worshipped woman in Thedas. Would interview again immediately.

STATUS: HIRED. Effective today. Standing Wednesday appointment secured.

Read Chapter 14 of The Skyhold Literary Society on AO3

cullenmancers: well actually he's (essay on cullen defense)

solasmancers:

^(How Ella feels when dressed up)

CULLEN RUTHERFORD (Level 15 Commander) Medium humanoid (wife guy), lawful disaster

STR: 18 (Can lift an Inquisitor onto a War Table without breaking a sweat)

DEX: 12 (Rolls with disadvantage when restricted by Orlesian velvet)

CHA: 20 (When threatening visiting nobility) / 4 (When his mage blurts her feelings out in front of the Spymaster)

Special Attack: Feral Gargoyle Glare — Target (Lady Trevelyan) takes 4d10 psychic damage. If the knife is dull, double the damage.

Status Effect: Down Atrocious — Automatically fails all saving throws if Ella Trevelyan bites her lip.

ELLA TREVELYAN (Level 15 Inquisitor) Medium humanoid (closeted romantic), chaotic anxious

INT: 18 (Capable of masterminding a counter-espionage honeypot trap in under five minutes)

DEX: 8 (Will trip over her own boots; requires Commander to cast Catch)

WIS: 16 (Finally realized she holds all the cards)

Special Attack: Operation Snake Charmer — Target (Ser Martin) rolls with disadvantage on Insight checks due to his own hubris.

Status Effect: Overstimulated — Must roll a Constitution saving throw when presented with an impromptu marriage proposal and a silver coin

SURPRISE BOSS ENCOUNTER: JOSEPHINE MONTILYET (Level 20 Ambassador)

INT: 20 (Always ten steps ahead; was outmaneuvering the betting syndicate the entire time)

CHA: 22 (Bribed a seamstress with a bottle of brandy in under an hour)

Special Attack: Weaponized Haberdashery — Traps enemies in suffocating velvet coats; successfully ransoms heavy armor for maximum aesthetic damage.

Legendary Action: Just In Case — Can summon a fully-beaded Orlesian silk wedding gown from a pocket dimension at a moment's notice.

Chapter 16 of The Skyhold Literary Society is live now on AO3

(or, we regret to inform you the in-laws have arrived)

^appropriate response to the words "the Trevelyans have arrived"

★ VERIFIED GUEST REVIEWS ★ — Skyhold Fortress, Kingsway 9:41

Lady Agatha Trevelyan ⭐☆☆☆☆ "Drafty. Crumbling. A hole in the roof, if you can believe it. My daughter runs this so-called 'Inquisition' out of a literal ruin like some sort of feral nug. The Commander was unspeakably rude to me for no reason whatsoever. The Ambassador could do with some formal training in diplomatic relations. I could also do without the strange woman in the hood. The wine was acceptable. Would not visit again."

Response from the Ambassador: The Commander had reasons. He had several.

Bann Reginald Trevelyan ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ "Splendid fortifications, all things considered. Sound walls, excellent high ground. The Commander struck me as a fellow military man, if a bit gruff. Wine sent up promptly—a respectable Legacy White. Docking one star for the tavern ale. Marvelous view from the west window. Missed most of the meeting, I'm told. Sounded rather heated."

Response from the Spymaster: A normal level of engagement from a man who only noticed his daughter had been sent to live in a Circle after two weeks.

Ser Martin ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "What a privilege. The Inquisitor is as radiant and capable as ever. The Inquisition is so fortunate to have her. The staff were most welcoming, the Commander especially. A truly impressive man, and I do look forward to knowing him better. I require no special comfort. I would never wish to be a burden. Mi valiente deserves only the finest. I hope to extend my stay indefinitely."

Response from the Seneschal: Thank you for your kind words, Ser Martin. The Inquisition is honored to host you and we trust your accommodations in the guest wing are to your liking. ADDENDUM FROM THE COMMANDER: The only extended stay he'll be having is in the Skyhold dungeons until I determine the optimal location to throw him from the battlements.

Skyhold Fortress is now Thedas's premier AirBnB and the guests have only begun to arrive.

Surely everything will be just fine, right?

Read Chapter 15 of The Skyhold Literary Society on AO3.

(Or, how two people who wrote six weeks of love letters completely forgot how to be in a room together.)

Turns out six weeks of letters are easier than thirty seconds of eye contact. Gear up as our emotionally fluent penpals get one (1) homecoming and immediately set the War Room on fire.

Thankfully the cake-apology supply chain is as robust as the one for the Nevarran tomatoes, and the crow works for whoever brings the most bread.

Strap in, it's another long one. Oh, and the crow has a name now. (I'd die for him.)

Read Chapter 9 on AO3