#cs ss

‘Why did they always have to make it so hard?’ Emma thought. as she picked up the pace, almost knocking over a few people as she continued to chase her target. Emma had let her guard down for a second wrongly under the impression the guy couldn’t pick a lock. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Kicking herself for getting distracted, she was now sure of exactly what had encapsulated her and distracted her from her work. “Watch it, lady!” A disgruntled man yelled as Emma knocked into him when she blew past.

There was no time for apologies. Emma needed this bounty if she was going to make rent this month and spending the new year on the street was not an option. Finally, she saw an opening and made a b-line for him. However, he was just as quick. It was almost like they were doing a dance. He slipped behind one of the donut booths, tip toeing across the edge of the pier. Emma had to follow, making the commitment to this chase. This was a dangerous manoeuvre in the best of circumstances, and these were not the best of circumstances.

Emma was fatigued, not quite feeling the drive tonight. This lapse in judgment was about to cost her. Placing her foot an inch too close to the edge, she slipped! Her weight shifted and she knew she was about to fall off of the pier. Emma’s heart raced as she realised her fate.

Just as she was about to fall, Emma felt a cold metal hook wrap around her wrist pulling her from the edge. Where she would have surely fallen into the cold watery depths freezing to death long before help could arrive instead she stood steady on the wooden pier.. Quickly looking over to see what stroke of luck saved her, Emma saw the cheeky grin of the man she had been tailing as he pulled her to safety. Even though she had been filled with dread, when her eyes met the steely blue ones of her elusive skip, the feeling faded instantly.

“Careful love.” Killian said, preparing to take off again.

“Thanks,” Emma replied, quickly slapping the cuffs back onto his wrists, shackling the two together.

Killian looked down at his now cuffed hand, bewildered that she had been able to match him at this game of cat and mouse. As a show of strength Emma pulled out her taser and put her hand on the trigger. She very rarely actually used it, but she wanted to make it clear he shouldn’t try and run again.

“I’m still taking you in though,” Emma said with a smile.

“You’re making a mistake,” Killian replied in a huff.

“No, I am making my way home,” Emma said, pulling him back over towards the car park.

“I just need to pick something up,” Killian replied nonchalantly, as if one often skips a bail hearing to run errands.

“What? A ride to Mexico?” Emma said annoyed.

“No. Proof.” Killian replied.

“Of what?” Emma asked sceptically.

“My innocence,” Killian said with a surprised expression, as if it was obvious.

“Yeah, innocent people always run.” Emma said with an eye roll.

“Do you think we could at least grab a libation on the way?” Killian said as they passed a stand selling rum.

“Seems like you already had one or two.” Emma said with a smile, she could smell the rum on him like it was cologne.

“But I haven’t had one with you,” Killian replied with a smirk.

“I think I’ll pass,” Emma said, trying to keep them moving.

“You seem to be in a hurry. I am not ruining your night, am I love?” Killian asked, noticing that her pace hadn’t slowed down much at all, even though she had managed to catch him.

“Got somewhere to be,” Emma said, picking up the pace even more.

“Well, why don’t we both just part ways then?” Killian answered with cheeky smile.

Emma stared forward trying her best to ignore Killian. She focused on finding the yellow bug in the car park. She got out so quickly, she did not recall where she had parked now. Finally, she spotted it towards the left and they made their way over to the car as fast as Emma could walk, with a slightly rum infused pirate strapped to her wrist. Killian continually prodded her for information trying to distract Emma so he could make another escape. There was a strange sense of familiarity with him. The way he moved and talked made her feel like she had met him before and, despite her best efforts, she couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face as he continued to overtly flirt. It was almost like they had done this dance before. The thought lingered on Emma’s mind, almost to the point of distraction but before it took hold, Emma shook it off. She had other, more pressing, concerns to get to at the moment.

They stopped at the car and Emma patted him, down not wanting a repeat of his earlier runaway. First finding a flask in his right pocket and then a switchblade in his left, she quickly confiscated both. He smirked while Emma made her way down his legs checking every possible hiding place.

“Satisfied?” Killian said with a grin.

“Get in.” Emma replied, trying again to pretend she didn’t find him the least bit entertaining.

Killian could see right through this facade and got in the backseat with a smile, while Emma focused on unlocking the cuff from her wrist and securing it to the door. After Killian was secure in the car, Emma made her way to the driver’s seat, almost slipping on the ice. She was feeling somewhat flustered. The snow was starting to fall, making for a beautiful image over the pier with the carnival lights flickering, but this was not met with glee from Emma. Instead, she wondered if this was going to make the trip home even longer. Taking a deep breath and getting herself to focus, Emma turned on the car and swiftly drove out to the freeway.

“Are you usually this flustered, love?” Killian asked, confused as she sat down.

“What?” Emma said surprised he even noticed.

“Don’t worry, I tend to have that effect,” Killian said.

“No, it’s not you. I’m just late,” Emma replied, focusing on the icy streets around her.

“If you have someone to spend your Christmas with, why are you working?” Killian asked.

“It’s complicated.” Emma replied abruptly wanting the subject dropped.

Emma wasn’t sure why she was even giving Killian a response to his questions but, she couldn’t help it. Her responses just poured out of her as if they were old friends. Killian seemed to realise he was crossing the emotionally-closed-off area and remained silent for at least the next few miles.

Emma looked in the rear-view mirror, not just to check on upcoming cars but to make sure that Killian was still secured in the back. Their eyes met and she felt that same sense of familiarity, as if she had looked upon them before. It was really starting to mystify her and the silence between them was becoming awkward now that Killian had put a pause on the flirting. Killian looked quite sullen, even his earlier relaxed demeanour had vanished.

“Have we met?” Emma asked quite abruptly.

“I think I’d remember you, love.” Killian replied.

“Yeah, right” Emma replied, but she wasn’t so sure.

“Do you even know what I’m wanted for?” Killian asked.

“Skipping bail.” Emma answered, sarcastically.

Killian was silent for a moment, realising that he wasn’t going to get far by trying to reason with Emma right now. Not that he blamed her; he wouldn’t believe him either. No one would. That was the problem. It was clear Emma had her walls up but to him everything she was thinking was right on the surface like an open book, because he could see himself in her. That’s why Killian knew there was no way Emma was going to listen to him.

“Doesn’t matter. I didn’t do it.” Killian responded frustrated staring out the window.

“I can give you a number for a lawyer,” Emma replied, feeling a little guilty.

“No point. This guy, he has connections.” Killian replied.

“Someone set you up?” Emma asked her heart racing, as she remembered when the same thing happened to her years ago by someone she trusted.

One of the many reasons she could never trust again. This realisation didn’t stop her from sympathising with Kilian’s predicament. After spending almost ten years as a bounty hunter, Emma had heard every sob story under the sun. Normally, it never gave her a moment’s hesitation but if she was honest with herself, Emma had felt a certain connection to the man sitting in her passenger seat. Still, she couldn’t let feelings get in her way. She needed this night to end. Soon. Life was just easier if things where simple with as little attachments and potential drama as possible.

“Trust me you don’t want to get involved, but if you could just drop me off here?” Killian replied looking down at a tattoo on his forearm with a solemn expression.

“Nice try.” Emma replied with a smile.

“Thought I’d give it one last shot, but you’re a stubborn one.” Flirting was his coping mechanism. Unfortunately for Killian, Emma had the opposite approach and pushed away any chance of a connection even with a skip she would surely never see again.

“And you know me so well?” Emma replied sarcastically but a little taken aback because to be honest it felt like he did. Without much prodding he was able to understand her in a way most never had.

Another half an hour or so went by in silence as they both tried their best to avoid talking to each other or sharing a glance. As the heater kicked on the console, Killian’s attention went to the air freshener hanging off of it. He had the exact same one in his car and the smell was familiar and calming to him. It was in the shape of a tiger. The local baseball mascot and he got it free with his season tickets. At the time Killian didn’t think much of this small coincidence but it was to be part of a much bigger picture.

“Dammit!” Emma shouted as she slammed her hand on the steering wheel. Traffic was awful and her car had come to complete stop in a monstrous roadblock.

“You know it would be much quicker if you took the exit up ahead and went through the backstreets.” Killian said.

“Oh, yeah? Is that where your buddies are waiting to break you out?” Emma replied frustrated.

“I don’t have any buddies. And believe it or not, love, I am trying to help you.” Killian said.

Emma was silent, pursing her lips unsure of what to do. But, the more she thought about it the more obvious the answer was. Killian was right.. Killian pointed to the left, abruptly as they approached the exit. His sleeve retreated up his arm, revealing a tattoo. It took up his entire forearm, making no secret of the woman’s name etched on his skin.. Killian swiftly covered it up when he noticed Emma’s eyes on it. He didn’t want to talk about it. It was a relic from a different time, back when he was living for the hope of it all.

With the small gesture of hurt, Emma could feel his pain flowing through her. It was the same hopelessness that she felt. The assurance that she could never love again. So, she quite dangerously slipped over to the left lane exiting the highway. Making her way through the backstreets with only the directions of a criminal handcuffed to her backseat.

“I knew it. You’re warming up to me.” Killian said, after a moment.

“Don’t push it.” Emma replied with a smile.

“You have someone waiting on you. A worried husband? Or fretful boyfriend?” Killian baited.

Emma ignored him. Focusing on the road ahead trying to see through the snow.

“A hungry cat then?” He asked, a playful smirk playing at his lips.

Emma rolled her eyes.

“My son.” She said, after a moments silence. She imagined Henry waiting for her, resignation setting into his features more and more with every passing minute.

Killian noticed as Emma’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Well, we best get you home as quickly as possible then.” Killian said earnestly.

A silence fell between them and Emma tried to push away the gnawing guilt she was beginning to feel about turning this poor guy in, on Christmas Eve no less, by focusing on the streets around her.

“Don’t you want to know?” Killian asked

“Know what?” Said Emma.

“Why I’m helping you?” Killian asked. looking into her eyes through the car’s mirror.

“I think you should focus on giving directions.” Emma replied firmly pushing to end the conversation now.

Killian chuckled at that. She was quick. He didn’t usually meet someone that could keep up with him in a verbal spar, but this lass blocked him at every opportunity. However, he was beginning to feel something. That is why even though it was counterproductive to his cause he gave Emma the correct directions. He was not quite sure what it was yet, but he thought if he could gain Emma’s trust maybe she would help him out, let one go. So, Killian showed her the way home without hesitation knowing all that she wanted was to get home to her son.

“Careful!” Killian called out, as Emma ferociously drove over a speed bump leaving Killian to feel the impact.

“Sorry.” Emma replied but she wasn’t taking her foot off of the peddle. She was too focused on getting home.

“You seem upset, love. Don’t take it out on the car” Killian said, pretending to brace himself.

“I just..” Emma started to say but she was unable to finish the thought.

“You just don’t want to let your kid down, the same way you have been let down your whole life” Killian said, finishing her thought for her.

Emma nodded not sure how to respond. She was surprised by how he was able to pin her so easily and she was still trying to figure him out, or more specifically figure out if he was an honest man. He was obviously not someone who had never had a run in with the law but Emma knew first hand that a bit of trouble doesn’t mean a person is bad.

“So, what did you get arrested for?” Emma asked.

“I was betrayed. The woman I loved was murdered and to make it all worse, I was framed for the crime. Five years I sat in jail, thinking of how Milah’s killer walked free.” Killian replied, letting it all out. He hadn’t even said it aloud before, let alone discussed what happened to him with a stranger. He looked so deeply hurt, so angry.

“Your warrant said you were wanted for theft.” Emma admitted alarmed.

Killian smirked realising she lied earlier about not reading up on him.

“Yeah, that I actually did do.” Killian paused, thinking over his reasoning “I only stole what was owed”

“I thought you were innocent?” Emma said with a frown.

“Like you said, it’s complicated.” Killian answered with a shrug, as they pulled into the Sheriff’s station.

“Obviously.” Emma replied not as sarcastically as intended, realising that in some way, Killian may be telling the truth.

This plan to gain Emma’s favour didn’t pan out for Killian. Emma was unwilling to see the good in Killian, not while he still brimmed with hatred. Emma could feel it radiating off of him. And so, she dropped him off at the local Sheriff’s office for processing and collected her reward. The whole process took about ten minutes and Emma was growing more impatient looking at her watch every thirty seconds. She tried her best to quickly sneak back past Killian and out the door while the returned criminal was still distracted with his handcuffs. Killian looked so defeated. The glimmer of hope he had had mere minutes ago faded once again. Emma couldn’t leave him like that without explaining herself, so she walked over to him.

“Still don’t want that number?” Emma said. referring to the lawyer she offered earlier.

“I don’t need that kind of help” Killian replied, bitterly. He still desired a justice more brutal than the current law system offered particularly one as corrupt as New York’s was.

“Ok. Merry Christmas” Emma said, walking away.

“Come on! You know I’m telling the truth! You can feel it. I know you can!” Killian called out to Emma as she turned around.

“Maybe I can. But, I can’t take the chance that I’m wrong about you.” Emma replied, her voice breaking. As the words left her lips, Emma could hear an echo like she had said the words before, in another world.

“You can’t leave me here.” Killian said handcuffed to the chair a pleading look in his eyes.

“You won’t be here forever. If you really are innocent, then they’ll let you go.” Emma replied not so sure if she believed that.

“Swan!” Killian called out, but it was too late. She walked out of the station without another moment’s hesitation. She knew that if she looked back once more, she would give in and spring him.

Emma tried her best to forget the whole encounter. It was Christmas Eve and she had someone waiting on her. She could feel her frustration with every red light boil over as she watched all the other happy families enjoying their time together. Finally, Emma pulled up on the icy driveway pulling in so fast the tires skidded a little. It was almost eight and Emma promised to be here by no later than six. Breaking promises is something she rarely did to Henry. Quickly she made her way up the path trying not to slip. Emma could see the glow of the Christmas tree and the laughter inside made her feel less guilty. At least they were having fun. Emma pounded on the door, feeling anxious and hoping Henry wouldn’t be too upset.

“Thank you so much for this!” Emma said, as soon as Ruby opened the door.

“Anytime. He’s great company.” Ruby replied with a smile.

“So, how mad is he?” Emma asked, concerned she left him waiting too long.

“He’s having fun actually,” Ruby replied with a shrug.

Just as Ruby said that, Henry came bounding down the stairs running from an attack of nerf bullets from Granny. His smile was wide, apparently not at all bothered about being forced to spend the evening with the feisty waitress and her spirited grandmother. Ruby and Granny were Emma’s closest friends and were especially handy in last minute skip calls like the one that happened tonight.

“Gotcha!” Granny exclaimed, proud of herself as the rubber bullets hit Henry’s back.

Henry slowed as he reached the bottom step, his expression changing to a frown when he noticed Emma standing in the doorway. Even though he knew she had to work, it still hurt that their Christmas Eve was spent apart. They still had tomorrow though, their Christmas tradition usually consisted of waking up before the sun, opening gifts, cooking a feast for two and watching Christmas movies while eating junk food until they reached vomit inducing levels.

“I’m sorry, kid” Emma said, seeing his disappointed expression.

“Did you at least catch the guy?” Henry asked.

“Yeah,” Emma said with a smile “You know what they say, Emma Swan always gets her man.

“Mom, only you say that.” Henry replied, smirking at her.

They both giggled. He knew she would have been here sooner, if that was a possibility.

“So, you still up for hot chocolate and Christmas light spotting?” Emma asked.

“Definitely!” Henry replied.

"Love, is everything alright?" Killian asked as they folded back the heavy plaid duvet on their bed.

"Sure," Emma answered, without really thinking, as she sat down on the bed, clad in red flannel pants and white camisole.

"You just seemed a bit uncomfortable when Henry brought up the Christmas tree," Killian continued after a moment, his fingers toying with a loose thread at the corner of the duvet. "And you don't seem to be as Christmas spirited as the rest of your family has become."

Emma shrugged, looking down at the blue blanket.

"I'm just not that into Christmas, that's all," she said quietly, without looking up at him.

"Emma…" he pressed as he sat down on the bed next to her, he needed to understand this.

"It's just… the whole orphan thing. I never really… got Christmas as a kid," Emma sighed, looking up at him with a sad sort of smile. He gave her an encouraging and sympathetic look, so Emma went on. "It's just that, as a kid in foster care, you don't really get any of it. The foster homes didn't really decorate and we definitely didn't get presents from them, and nothing was really ever different during the holidays, except in some of the houses it was a lot colder because the heating didn't work so great." Now that she had started talking, she couldn't keep everything in anymore, as it so often happened with her conversations with Killian. "But I still went to school and we made snowflakes and wrote letters to Santa, only Santa never came to my house, and the thing with Santa is that if he doesn't come, you think its because there's something wrong with you, because you misbehaved or just weren't good enough in general and it really messes with your head, 'cause everyone else gets them but you."

"When we were in the service of the captain my father sold us to, Liam and I, we never really knew when it was Christmas," Killian shared, looking straight ahead of him, as if he were seeing the rocking boat rather than the bedroom wall. "Liam was allowed to go ashore at ports sometimes, so he usually tried to find out when it was about Christmas, but we hardly ever knew for sure. And we had no money for gifts, everything we had we were saving to buy our freedom, and to buy commissions. One year, Liam did some favour for an innkeeper, and she rewarded him with two drumsticks from her Christmas turkey. Of course, he wished to share them with me, so he tried to sneak them onto the ship, but the captain caught him, took the drumsticks for himself of course. Bloody fool should've just eaten them at the inn while he had the chance."

Emma knew what he was doing, of course. It was not a competition, who had the sadder story, but it was a way of saying that he understood, without pitying her.

"Do you have no happy memories of the holidays, Swan?" he asked, turning to her with a curious and heavy smile.

"Some, I guess," she said after considering for a moment. "The year I was with Ingrid, it was pretty good. She went all out, tree, presents, cookies out the wazoo. It wasn't long after that I ran away though. And of course, I didn't remember that year for most of my life." Emma smiled wryly, thinking about Ingrid and all that had happened with her. "There was another year too, I was with this family, and they were great. They didn't celebrate Christmas though, they were Jewish, so we did Hanukkah that year. But they got me presents and taught me to make latkes and let me be included in all their family traditions. They took pictures with me like I was going to be a permanent part of their family. That was… that was probably the best year, holiday-wise."