𝑨𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝒅𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏’𝒔 𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒏, 𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏’ 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏. 𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍, 𝒃𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒍𝒚, 𝑨 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌, 𝒂 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒑, 𝒂 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒘𝒓𝒚.

𝑺𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒘𝒏, 𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒏, 𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒃𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒓, 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆.

The Devil twirls his pitchfork with a theatrical flourish. “Careful, sweetheart. Pitchfork beats spear every time.”

Vaggi tightens her grip on her spear, her eye narrowing into a murderous glare. “Only if you’re compensating for something.”

He leans in, grin razor‑sharp. “Oh, I compensate beautifully. You should know, you married me for it~”

Henchman pokes his head into the room, pushing a trolley. “Duh, boss… wakey, wakey.”

The Devil grunts and rolls onto his side, pulling the blanket up like it’s a shield.

Henchman’s face falls. “Aw, boss, you’ve been in here for days.” He shuffles over and yanks the curtains open. “Come on, get up. Look what a beautiful day it is—” revealing souls screaming in a river of lava as some serpent-like creature swims by roaring.

The Devil lifts his sleeping mask just enough to glare, then flops back down with a pathetic little groan, shooing him away.

Henchman glances at the trolley and brightens. “Oh! I know what’ll cheer you up. Reading the headlines!” He holds up the newspaper like it’s a peace offering.

The Devil remains motionless, grumbling under the blankets.

Vaggi, still half-asleep, mumbles into the pillow: “Just take the newspaper and stop being a brat to Henchman…”

The Devil sat upright in bed, newspaper clenched in his claws, his eyes darting across the page, growing wider with every line. He read aloud, voice dripping with outrage. “‘It has become blatantly apparent that the Devil is losing his touch… a silly caricature of his once‑powerful self… time to pass the walking stick to the next contender.’”

He stopped. His eye twitched. Then, in a deep demonic growl, “IT’S A PITCHFORK!” The Devil crumples the newspaper in his claws and hurls it across the room and it bursts into flames before it even hits the floor.

Beside him, Vaggi yawned so hard her jaw popped. She didn’t even open her eye. “Mmh… baby, ignore it. Critics love hearing themselves talk…"

“Stupid critic,” he muttered, arms crossed, tail flicking like an angry cat. “What does he know…”

Vaggi finally cracked her one eye open and patted his arm lazily. “Come here, drama king. You’re still Inkwell Isles’ biggest nightmare to me. And if you’re really that offended…” Her voice dropped into a sleepy, wicked murmur. “…why don’t you just take your ‘walking stick’ and show them?”

The Devil brightened instantly at that. “Ooo, that’s exactly what I’ll do!” he said, already tossing off the blankets and hopping out of bed. “And it’s a pitchfork,” he added, arching a brow at her.

Vaggi, meanwhile, was already sinking back into the pillows, eye closing again as if nothing had happened. “Finally. Some peace and quiet.”

The Devil narrows his eyes at her, voice low and offended. “Are you calling me irresponsible?”

Vaggi exhales the longest, most exhausted sigh in the Underworld, lifting her hand like she’s explaining basic math to a toddler. “Well, I would say, ‘if the pitchfork fits…’” She gestures pointedly at his empty hand. “…But you lost it. Again.”

He bristles, tail twitching. “I didn’t lose it. I misplaced it!”

She gives him a flat, deadpan stare.

The Devil lazily waves his hand around flippantly. “Look, if someone happened to misplace a pitchfork, it’s only fair his lovely wife helps him find it.”

Vaggi groans, arms crossed so tight she might snap. “Ugh. Fiiiiiine! I'll help you find it.”

He brightens instantly, tail curling into the shape of a heart. “Oh, I knew you couldn’t resist my charm!”

She groans again. “I’m only doing this so you'll stop whining, not because I think you’re charming.”

He winks. “Same thing, sweetheart~”

The Devil sat hunched over a little book titled “How to Control Your Rage." He licked his finger and flipped to Chapter 3. “How to Turn That Frown Upside Down!” He stared at the page. Then he ripped it out. Then another. Then five more. Then the entire middle section. By the time Vaggi walked in with a tray of tea, he was tearing pages out by the handful.

Vaggi froze. “…What are you doing?”

He didn’t answer. He just stared at the teacup she set down. He stared at it like it had personally insulted him.

Vaggi blinked, completely unfazed. “Babe, calm down, it's just tea. Here." She said as she poured into the little porcelain cup.

The cup sat there. Mocking him. The Devil’s eye twitched, and then he blasted it to ash with his pitchfork.

Vaggi sighed. “Seriously?”

He slammed the pitchfork into the floor, prongs cracking the stone. “THAT’S IT!”

He stormed away from his chair, seething, breathing like a bull about to charge. “I’m throwing EVERYTHING I’ve got at that cup!”

Vaggi pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s already dead. Look, you just incinerated it.”

Still back turned to her, he growled, “No, not that cup! The cup whose soul still belongs to me! The cup who thinks he can break a deal with the Devil!”

Vaggi places her hands on her hips. “You're really letting that kid live rent‑free in your head, aren't you?”

With one clawed hand held upward and a finger pointed to the ceiling, he bellows, “NOW BRING ME MY FINEST DEMONS!”

The Devil bounced on his heels, eyes gleaming. “Alright! Time to release my finest demons!”

Vaggi rubbed her temple with a low, exhausted groan. “Babe, please, nooooo!”

He snapped his head down to look at her, eyes wide and offended. “What do you mean nooooo? They’re my elite squad! My masterpieces! My—”

“We’re supposed to be saving them,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “For emergencies. Real ones.”

Henchman nodded nervously. “Yeah, boss, we kinda only get one release per quarter—”

The Devil hissed at him. “Don’t ruin my moment!”

Vaggi crossed her arms, giving him the look. “Put. Them. Back.”

He deflated instantly, shoulders slumping. “Aww, come on, I already hyped them up…”

“Then un‑hype them!” she said, turning away like she was done with everything.

The Devil sighed dramatically, waving his claws. “Fine, fine. Back in the cave, everyone. False alarm.”

The demons groaned and shuffled away.

Vaggi didn’t even look back. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

He perked up at that, just a little. “…Oh, you so owe me kissies later,” he hissed.

Vaggi planted a hand on her hip, exasperated. “You can’t go around blowing up imps. This is exactly why we didn’t tell you about the Nice List!”

The Devil leaned in, voice dropping into a low purr. “Oh, come on, darling… you love it when I’m naughty~”

Vaggi’s eye twitched. “That’s not the defense you think it is.”

He leaned in even closer, a grin curling. “Oh, sweetheart… why can’t I be on the Nice List, hmm?”

“Because you’re literally evil," she reminded him.

The Devil blinked, slightly confused. “So you’re saying I can’t be evil and on the Nice List?”

Vaggi groaned, rubbing her face. “Yes! That’s what the Naughty and Nice Lists are for.”

The Devil slumped on the throne, head in his hand, groaning because Santa had personally wronged him. His tail drooped. His shoulders drooped. His entire soul drooped.

Vaggi sat beside him and asked softly. “Do you want me to run down to the toy store and get your little choo‑choo?”

He didn’t even lift his head. “No thank you.”

She nodded, patting his knee. “I’m sorry Christmas didn’t go the way you wanted, sweetie.”

The Devil slumped in his chair, eyes peeled back in pure misery as Sticker droned on about “decreasing revenue” and “irresponsibly incinerating the finest demons.” His whole posture sagged like he was seconds from snapping.

Vaggi slipped in beside him like a whisper, leaning close enough that only he could hear.

He whispered in a tight, hushed snap, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m busting you out,” she murmured. “You literally look like you’re dying from boredom.”

He let out a long, miserable sigh. “I can’t. I have to listen to Sticker’s stupid audits…”

With a soft smile, Vaggi let her index and middle fingers walk up his arm, a teasing little tap‑tap‑tap that made him jolt.

The Devil shivered, eyes flicking to her. “Oh? You want my attention this badly right now?”

Vaggi smirked. “There’s a new club I think you’d like. We can call it a date night~”

That finally cracked him a real smile, a fluttery giggle. “You sneaky little minx.”

“Come on,” she whispered. “Quietly.”

And together, they slipped out, trying not to laugh as they escaped.

The Devil and Vaggi stood rigidly, faces inches apart, their glares locked with a heat that could’ve scorched the floor. Neither blinked. Neither softened. The air between them felt tight, like it was waiting for one of them to snap first.

“You know,” the Devil drawled, leaning in, “for someone who never shuts up about responsibility, you sure love sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

Vaggi’s jaw tightened, her eye narrowing into a razor‑sharp slit. “Oh please. If I wanted a malewife who actually did things like cook, or clean, or act like a normal adult, I would’ve married Henchman.”

The Devil’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Excuse me?" he scoffed, folding his arms.

“You heard me.” Vaggi crossed her arms right back at him, mirroring his stance. “At least he knows how to use a kitchen without burning it down.”

The Devil sputtered, offended on a personal level. “I’ll have you know I only burned it down twice!”

“Right,” Vaggi shot back, “just like your first and second finest demons.” She smirked, knowing fully well he had no comeback.

They found Ms. Chalice in the middle of the room, happily dancing in a circle with their daughter Alice, both giggling, both spinning, and both absolutely unaware they were being watched.

Vaggi froze, eyes narrowing. “Oh no. Nope. Absolutely not. We're NOT letting that little con artist near our daughter.” Her spear was already halfway raised.

The Devil gently pushed it down with one claw. “Put the spear down, my dear.”

Vaggi glared. “She's charmed people into giving her free stuff under the guise of song and dance! That's not something I want Alice picking up.”

The Devil’s grin widened, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Honestly? I’m impressed~”

Chalice chuckled nervously, hands behind her back. “I mean… it's worked for me pretty swell.”

He leaned forward, delighted. “I’m a bit of a song‑and‑dance man myself, you know.”

Vaggi didn’t even look at him. “I know.”

Henchman sat in the audience, hands folded over his lap, watching the two of them onstage. “Dawwww… would ya look at that,” he murmured to himself. “The boss and Miss Vaggi are all dolled up and ready to razzle‑dazzle.” 🥺

The Devil stares up into the magic mirror, very displeased. “Henchman, look! There’s my wife shaking her ass for that one harem girl, Chalkie, or Chandler, or -- I don't know, something mannish like that.”

Henchman scratched the back of his neck. “Uh… boss, didn’t you give her that harem? Y’know… so she could shake her butt for whoever she wanted?”

The Devil shot him a look. “I know that!” he snapped. “But she never shakes it for me like that,” he lamented in a little wounded whine.

Notes:

Okay, so this all started earlier last month when I was bored and looking for inspiration for another project. I was scrolling through the @hazbinrarepairs blog I follow because I was curious about a completely different ship and then I stumbled onto this Devil (Cuphead) x Vaggie (Hazbin) pairing submitted by @hisslord. And I don’t know why, but this ship just struck me as weirdly interesting... 👀

So my sister, @small-tragedies and I ended up re‑watching/bingeing The Cuphead Show together, and I took a bunch of screenshots and made some manips. When I showed her the first one, we started roleplaying to it. I played the Devil and Henchman and she played Vaggi, and it was so unexpectedly funny that I kept making more manips. And the more my sister and I bounced off each other as the Devil and Vaggi, the more and more we convinced ourselves that this ship is pretty darn cute! Plus, both the Devil and Vaggi are queer as hell and constantly serve each other cunt lol.

My sister and I get stupidly ridiculous whenever we’re collabing/chatting together, and this isn’t even the first time we’ve done something like this. We RPed to my Millie x Andrealphus crack ship edits [here] and it was hilarious! So if you took the time to read all this, we really hope you enjoyed our crack‑ship RPs and my manips (I worked so hard on them and I didn’t even have my laptop and made everything on my tablet) 😭

Oh, and my sister and I both worked on the opening poem. I have this old rhyming dictionary that I got from my mother, and it really helped us.

And cookies to anyone who spots my little Valentino reference. 😘🍪

🔸Divider Link: Velvette Aesthetic Dividers.

IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING YALL i might move to this app when TikTok gets banned unless it doesn’t get banned or a new app comes along…

ANYWAYS this is a request for my lovely mootie patootie on TikTok! I’ll also be posting edits with my last style on here so the post with the old style will be stated that they have the old style :3

Anyways THEMMM

(Holy shit Theres so many tags good LORD)

“A crown to wear in grace and beauty as is thy right, and royal duty.”

Do you truly believe that a man educated at Eton, with an illegitimate claim to King Charles the II’s throne and a dream of marrying a princess, wouldn’t pursue that dream?

𝐴 𝑃𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐶𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑠~ ♡