am I alloswed to ask for. a drawing of. my baldids
baldids ^^^^^
BE AWARE THAT THE LAST ONE IS A FRIKING JUMPSCARE (IDK IF I SHOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR FARTING)
(I drew also the principal of the thing bc WTF THIS DESIGN IS BETTER WHA)

seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Australia

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from TĂŒrkiye

seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from Canada

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
am I alloswed to ask for. a drawing of. my baldids
baldids ^^^^^
BE AWARE THAT THE LAST ONE IS A FRIKING JUMPSCARE (IDK IF I SHOULD HAVE A HEART ATTACK OR FARTING)
(I drew also the principal of the thing bc WTF THIS DESIGN IS BETTER WHA)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Evil Time is great :) (Patreon)
Old dnp captions fill me with so much cringe
On Forgiving Yourself
I am constantly reliving memories of me not at my best. Embarrassing moments going all the way back to my childhood, moments of vulnerability, terrible things I did to people who maybe didnât deserve it. A highlight reel of all of these moments in time that I desperately wish I could just forget, which invokes a self-loathing so strong I feel it in my very bones and I wonder if I ever had the capacity to be good. (I recently found out that thereâs a term for this, itâs called a âcringe attackâ)
When we make mistakes, or hurt someone, we often want to go back to them, and beg for forgiveness, or rationalize and explain the reasoning behind what we did. But this is not for the sake of the other person. Itâs to make ourselves feel better. This isnât to say that we arenât sorry, but sometimes our apologies have ulterior motives and we donât even realize it.
I believe this comes from a need for external validation. Low self-worth. You want reassurance that youâre a good person. You want reassurance that you are good enough and worthy. (You donât need someone elseâs forgiveness in order for you to forgive yourself. You must forgive yourself regardless.)
For me, understanding and empathy can play a big part in forgiveness, I think. When Iâm able to put myself in someone elseâs shoes, itâs easier for me to forgive them, rather than staring at them in anger and contempt, wondering âWhat the hell is wrong with you? Why did you do that?â
And when I make mistakes, this is often the way I talk to myself, in my head, anyway. But when I take time by myself to reflect on my actions (I know it sounds corny, whatever idc), Iâm able to understand where that came from and empathize and say âOh. Thatâs why.â Having empathy is the first step towards forgiveness. (I sound like a camp counselor)
But even when I understand why I did what I did, I know that the other person probably doesnât. And this makes me want to explain myself, because maybe if they understand, they can validate my experience and forgive me. But like I said, this is only to make myself feel better.
The hard truth is, no one owes you forgiveness. Sometimes, when you make a negative impression on someone (whether itâs on accident or not, maybe youâre having a bad day, perhaps your cat just died, whatever), sometimes that bad impression is going to stick and thereâs nothing you can do to change that. Does that mean youâre a bad person? Of course not. But ultimately, thereâs nothing you can do about it.
The beauty of life is that there are so many people on this earth, and there is always an opportunity to be a better person, make new connections, or even try to mend old ones. The beauty of life is being able to try again. There are people out there willing to get to know you, who want to understand you and who will try to.
So when you find yourself in a situation where youâve wronged someone, and they donât want to forgive you, they donât want to understand you, donât take it as a challenge to prove how good a person you are. You donât get to decide if someone elseâs opinion of you is valid or not, and how someone else feels about you isnât indicative of your worth. Donât beg for forgiveness, and donât beg to be understood. Donât try to change their narrative. Trying to understand why someone thinks and acts the way they do is incredibly taxing. Forgiving someone whoâs wronged you is freaking hard. These are tremendous asks of someone, and you must accept that not everyone is willing to give this to you, and they donât have to. No one owes you anything. The only person who can always forgive you, and the only person who will listen with empathy in order to understand you, is yourself.
If and when you do get the opportunity to a second chance to someone youâve hurt, and you feel the need to explain yourself, ask yourself, if you want to explain yourself because you want the other person to understand you better, to strengthen your connection, or if you want to explain yourself in order to rationalize your actions and bring solace to your guilt. (I donât know if I used solace correctly. Ah well. Canât be helped.)
If youâre not interested in having a relationship/bond/connection with this person, let them misunderstand you. You donât need to be understood or liked by everyone. Someone elseâs opinion of you is none of your business. This quote comes to mind that I think about often, âThereâs always a chance of you being the villain in someone elseâs story.â
This is all to say, learn to forgive yourself. As long as you are learning from your mistakes and apologizing when you are wrong, you arenât a terrible person.
I guarantee you, that whatever you did that you feel is so horrible, there are people who have done the same thing and have gone on living their lives. Donât let yourself be a prisoner of your own guilt. When youâre looking back at fucked up shit you did and cringing, that is a sign of growth, because your morals donât align with your actions. You must forgive yourself and move on. Donât punish yourself forever.
I wish I could tell you how to forgive yourself, how to accept and move on, but Iâm still working on that myself. But something that makes me feel a little better is telling myself that my mistakes arenât a life sentence. A fresh start is a mental construct. Tomorrow can be a blank slate if I want it to be. Today I will text my friends and tell them I love them. Today I will go outside and smile at everyone I pass. Today I will offer help to my family. Maybe I did something shitty yesterday, but I can always try to be a little better than I was yesterday.
TL;DR: Forgive yourself. Stop mulling over your mistakes and cringe-worthy moments. Everyone fucks up and does embarrassing shit sometimes. Accept the things you canât change (like the past, or how others view you) and focus on whatâs in your locus of control (like how you treat people in the present). You are not a terrible person, youâre just a learning what it means to be human.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
DNP Rewatch:Â CRINGE ATTACK
Date video was published: 10/01/2013 (X)
DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 198
Danâs making more regular videos again at this point.
0:00 - Did they get a new light at this point? The lighting in the last few videos has been INTENSE.
0:05 - talking about what he shared in My First Time (which was more than a week before this but anyway...)
0:25 - very dramatic âa cringe attackâ there
0:34 - The Pokémon battle scene/editing on this is so great
0:38 - borrowing literally all of Philâs PokĂ©mon shirts for this scene. I love it. Dan is always thinking about the details.
1:01 - why DO brains do this. Just let me forget!
1:30 - wtf is a âfootball party.â Somehow I donât think Dan would have enjoyed that anyway.
1:38 - oh Dan. Heâs definitely improved on gift-giving at least it seems.
1:43 - well that oneâs just...why.
2:12 -Â âflailing like an octopusâ...Dan has great descriptors
2:39 - LMAO at âthe power of Christ compels youâ part đđ
2:56 - Dan doesnât use the âscienceâ fake glasses Phil does...he just used Philâs actual glasses, lol
3:15 - positive-spin as usual to conclude a Dan video
3:37 - I always think space-jumper character is meant to be Phil in these skits.
4:38 - love the counting-down and Phil just laughing at how ridiculous Dan is
I thought Dan may have filmed this while Phil was on his trip, but Philâs helping with at least one of the clips so I guess not! This is a classic Dan video.
Nothing quite like the cringe attack of reading a fanfic you wrote when you were 14...
All the time. Just every day of my life.