An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Very belated oneshot for Thorne's birthday event yayyy!!! @tlc-fan-events
Shoutout to that one person on tumblr who I saw mentioning thorne actually joining the military with a fake ID as a headcanon, can't remember who
Full fic under the cut, or read it on ao3
Cress had never made a cake before and as it turns out it wasn’t as easy as all the videos on her netscreen made it seem. Every surface of the kitchen of the Rampion was covered in white powder, whether it was flour or powdered sugar she wasn’t sure, the whole process had been such a whirlwind against the clock. The idea had come to her about a week before Thorne’s birthday, she had seen the cutest homemade cakes and thought to herself what an amazing surprise it would be for his birthday. It just so happened that he had to pick up a shipment of letumosis vaccines in a city a ways away from where the rampion was parked and had to take the pod ship. She knew that she didn’t have much time in order to get the cake done before he returned and as such she knew the cake wouldn’t turn out perfectly, but she had no idea baking a cake would take this long. Obviously it took longer than the video she was following, that much she expected, but she hadn’t factored in burning her first attempt and had all together underestimated how long it would take for the cake to cool down before frosting it. Now her second attempt stood before her with the frosting she has just finished putting on slowly sliding off, she wiped her brow with the back of her hand and sighed as she took in the disaster in front of her. She considered throwing the whole thing away and hiding all evidence the monstrous creation in front of her had ever come into existence, but before she had time to properly consider it she heard Thorne’s voice cutting through the loud opera music swirling around her.
“Honey I’m home,” he called out with a singsong voice.
“Shit,” the words escaped her as she frantically began to look for the pastel colored frosting she had meant to put the age he was turning, she knew he would be right around the corner and entering the kitchen any moment. Her eyes locked onto the green frosting as she grabbed a spoon and dipped the handle into it, she hurriedly carved 21 into the cake, crumbs mixing with the translucent remnants of the white frosting and the bits of green frosting that clung onto the spoon and barely transferred onto the cake.
“Fuck.”
“Why does it smell burnt?” Thorne asked, his voice getting closer. The opera music swelled even more, as if mocking the chaos of the situation she found herself in, she picked up the cake and practically threw it in the fridge.
“No reason,” she responded, panic tinting her voice. Cress leaned against the fridge as he stepped into the kitchen.
“Woah what happened here?” he asked taking in the mess she’d made with an amused look. Being so caught up in getting the cake done and hidden away once she’d heard his voice, she had forgotten for a brief moment that the mess in the kitchen would reveal her crimes, because yes the creation she had made was indeed a crime. He came closer to inspect the crime scene, he stepped in front of her.
“You have something here,” he said and wiped something off her brow with a finger, he inspected it, she could tell now it was frosting. How she had managed to wipe frosting onto her brow without noticing she had no idea.
“Hmm, suspicious,” he hummed.
“Cress?”
“Yes?”
“Would you mind if I got something from the fridge?” he smirked. She knew he was onto her and there was no point in trying to keep her crimes a secret anymore. She stepped away from the fridge which she had been guarding like a watchful guard dog ever since he stepped into the kitchen.
“Of course my captain,” she said sweetly while batting her lashes dramatically. Ever since they had fallen into a more comfortable and natural rhythm her calling him captain had become sort of an inside joke, of course she was one of the few people who had ever called him that earnestly, but once they became a couple calling him captain instead of Carswell felt a bit ridiculous, but after a while it had ended up circling back around and becoming some sort of weird inside joke between the two of them. She sighed in defeat and tried to hide the smile that was spreading across her face.
“Well well what do we have he-“ he was interrupted by the cake, which had been hurriedly stuffed in the fridge, falling out of said fridge and consequently crashing to the floor face first. They both yelped in unison at the scene unfolding in front of them.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Thorne rushed as he knelt to the floor trying to save the unsalvageable cake. Despite her cake being a monster she still felt a pang in her heart seeing the cake even more ruined than before she had put it in the fridge, it was her monster. The music around them came to its climax, and she sighed dejectedly.
“Darla, could you pause the music please,” Thorne requested having perfectly read her mood, he turned the cake over so it was no longer face first on the floor.
“It’s fine, we can make a new one,” she said, not sure if she was speaking to herself or to him. Thorne paused for a moment as he looked intently at the smashed cake they were now both crouched over, he became quiet in a way he usually didn’t unless there was something on his mind, his brows knitted together in thought.
“What’s wrong?”
“You know how I said I would be honest and deserving of you?” he asked. Now she forgot all about her worries of her misshapen cake.
“It’s just a cake don’t worry, accidents happen,” she said, a bit shocked he was that upset about the cake, she appreciated that he didn’t take her valiant cakemaking efforts for granted, but this was on another level. Thorne shook his head.
“No no, it’s not about the cake, or uhm in a way it is,” he explained. He stood up from the floor and placed the cake on the counter, Cress stood up next to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Uhm, I’m not turning 21,” he confessed.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I managed to somehow conscript in the military with a fake-ID,” Thorne explained.
“Once a conman always a conman I guess, sorry for not telling you before,” he added earnestly.
Cress felt all genuine worry that had been building up inside her melting away, at the same time she felt a bit disappointed in herself for not having figured it out when she was researching him back in her days on the satellite, how had she missed such a vital detail.
“How did you do it?” she asked, not being able to help herself. Thorne chuckled at the question and let out a sigh, he leaned his palms against the flour-covered kitchen counter his gaze was fixed on the countertop, not meeting her gaze as he answered
“I managed to hire a hacker that hacked into my ID-chip, was pretty gnarly stuff getting the thing out,” he grimaced, Cress let out an involuntary gasp at his explanation.
“I was kinda scared the guy was gonna harvest my organs and sell them on the black market while he was it if I’m being completely honest,” he chuckled and stretched his mouth out in an awkward smile.
“I don’t know why I did it,” he sighed, before interrupting himself, “Or that’s a lie actually. I was so desperate to get away from the pressure of my parents I’d do anything, and the military seemed like an easy way out,” he looked up from where his gaze had been fixed. Cress met his eyes and laid a hand on his back to comfort him, they stood there for a moment in silence before she pulled him into a hug.
“I don’t really know what it’s like having parents so I won’t judge, but the small little sliver of time where I knew a parent was a bit of an odd time in my life I’ll say,” she joked as she pulled away from the hug.
“Stars, I’m sorry… Looking back there was probably easier ways out but I was quite the reckless teenager, still am actually,” Thorne grimaced.
“Well then what number are we putting on the next cake then?” she quizzed in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“19,” he admitted with a sheepish grin.















