Being frequently exposed to ideas of theΒ βcrazy girlfriendβ orΒ βoverreacting womanβ as I grew up has definitely taken a toll on my romantic relationships and even friendships. It makes me second guess myself when I feel upset or hurt by something. So I assume I shouldnβt say anything because it probably isnβt a big deal and Iβm just being clingy or something. Instead I just let it continue to bother me and since I donβt stick up for myself it keeps happening until I eventually resent the person.Β On top of that, since these feelings have been treated as, in a way,Β βfalseβ I donβt know how to express them. I was never given examples. When it eventually becomes too much I cry out and become hysterical and to myself and possibly those around me that supports theΒ βoverreacting girlβ idea. Β It really makes me wonder though; why arenβt these feelings validated? This idea was planted in me from childhood. Why wasnβt I told that if something bothers me itβs okay to say something? That it isnβt wrong to do that? I think that it wouldnβt just benefit our own self awareness but also our empathy. In the bookΒ βEvery Word you Cannot Sayβ by Iain S. Thomas there is a page in the poetry that basically says when someone expresses this hurt that has built up over time, triggered by something relatively small, they think they are being brave. But everyone else may think theyβre overreacting (Iβd have given the exact quotes but I donβt have the book on me right now. Great read though). Upon reading this, the whole feeling and thought hit me. Not like a brick or anything, but sort of like stepping in a puddle in the kitchen at 3AM in dirty socks.Β
