Every now and then I remember that Malbolge exists and I get to spend the better part of an hour cry-laughing at the worldâs worst programming language
already starting off strong, but it gets worse
Wow! Sounds easy and intuitive to use! Whatâs the âcrazy operationâ you ask? Weâll get to that later. For now letâs see what a program in this language looks like :)
Thanks! I hate it!
itâs so difficult to work with that the first program was written by another brute force search program
mmmmm delicious base-3 arithmetic, what could go wrong? (For reference, that means this program forgoes the usual â0/1âł values of binary code in favor of a much more fun â0/1/2âł set of values)
ah.
Hereâs how the language actually figures out what to do. Itâs got 8 âsimpleâ commands that can be executed easily by *checks notes* running the code itself through the modulo operation and taking the result.
As a bonus, on top of all that every single character in your code will now alter what every single other character does. So I hope youâre alright with cracking a cipher every time you add a new letter to your program!
oh god oh fuck.
behold, Malbolgeâs primary arithmetic operation and what youâll be using for most of your math while programming with it :)
This looks specifically designed to be the least logical math operation you could make, and knowing what the rest of Malbolge is Iâd wager thatâs precisely what happened. I never want to ever use this and itâs my favorite thing Iâve ever seen.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbolge
Anyways hereâs the wiki page if you wanna read through it more deeply, Iâm gonna sit here holding in my laughter staring at the hello world program again.












