#crazy lady

ooooo you really really want me sooooo bad you do you do you dooooi

I… don’t know what happened with this one

Love it tho

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Bucky, on his bed, not looking up from his laptop: I know you can get down there on your own

Alpine, on top of the wardrobe: *unholy screams of terror*

Bucky: don't yell at me young lady you got up there yourself and I know you can get down because I've seen you get down when you want to

Alpine: *pathetic whines and mewls*

Bucky: I'm not having it

Alpine: *reaches a paw down towards Bucky*

Bucky: *gritting his teeth*

Alpine: mrrow..?

Bucky, getting up with unnecessary fervor: manipulative bitch

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Bucky: *wiggling his metal fingers on the sofa so it doesn't hurt when Alpine pounces to claw at his hand*

Alpine: *pounces on Bucky's face*

Bucky: ALP---

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Steve: *walking into the kitchen*

Bucky: *teary eyed*

Steve, panicking: Buck? Hey, hey, what's going on? Baby---

Bucky, carefully pulls up a chair to show Alpine sprawled out on it: She's so beautiful, man

Steve, big sigh of relief and fond annoyance: Bucky for FUCK'S sake. It's the fourth time this month!

Bucky: ;^;

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Alpine: *hops on Bucky's lap while he's sitting to curl up and nap*

Bucky, happy: *continues whatever he's doing*

Bucky, 20 minutes later: *mindlessly pats Alpine's head gently exactly once*

Alpine: *unholy screech, shuffling and scratching Bucky's pants before hopping off his lap and speeding off like she's dying*

Bucky, confused: WHA--- I'M SORRY?!

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Alpine: *hops onto the couch while Bucky is chilling to nuzzle to his side*

Bucky, happy: Hey girl. How you---

Bucky: wait a minute

Bucky: *sniffs the air*

Bucky: why do you always come to me just to fart

Alpine: maow :3

Bucky: you disgust me

Bucky: *grabs and cuddles Alpine to his chest*

Bucky: I love you, you stinky baby

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(for the context of this, ever since I was little my family would call loafing cats "chicken" bc how they like lose their feet and look like one blob with a head attached to it, like chickens when they sit? Yk? Idk if y'all can see it but we always use that instead of saying loafing)

*silence in the bedroom*

Bucky: chimken

Steve, wasn't paying attention until now: what?

Bucky: chimken

Steve: chimken?

Bucky: *points to Alpine sitting in a perfect loaf on the window sill*

Steve: ??

Bucky: chimken :)

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Bucky: *eating something*

Alpine: *watching him*

Bucky, knowing she isn't supposed to be eating that specific thing: ...

Alpine: *wide eyes*

Bucky, holding out a piece to Alpine, whispers: don't tell Steve

Steve, from two rooms over: I HEARD THAT. DON'T.

Bucky, scrambles with the piece in his hand before pulling it back hastily: I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING!

Bucky, whispers to Alpine: sorry girl :(

Alpine: mmn 3:

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Steve: *walking down the hallway, hears Bucky in the distance*

Bucky, in the softest, most tender and loving voice ever: Steve would kill me if he knew I loved you more than him

Steve: *confused, more curious than anything, raises a brow*

Steve: *peeks into the room Bucky is in*

Steve: *sees Bucky cuddling Alpine*

Steve, contented smile as he walks away: Yeah that checks

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Bucky: *slowly wakes up to feeling of a weight on his stomach, and mewls, grunts, and whines of Alpine on his stomach*

Bucky, worried, lifts the covers on himself to see Alpine on his stomach: hey, you okay, sweetheart?

Alpine: *literally pops out a baby on top of Bucky*

Bucky: *confused, worried, flattered*

Bucky, nudging Steve next to him: wake up we're granddads now 🥺🥹

Steve, sleepy, confused, lowkey delirious: we what?

Alpine: *licking her newborn kitten clean, still on Bucky's stomach, whose shirt is now a bit bloodied from the birth*

Steve: did she--- on top of you--- what the fuck.

Bucky, proud dad: She loves me 🥹

Steve, too tired for that shit, slumps back against his pillow: yeah, baby. She does

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Bucky, laying on his stomach on the ground, kicking his feet behind him, playing video games: I think we're gonna have to kill this guy, Alp.

Alpine: meep

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Bucky: *had the worst day, absolutely weeping and sobbing and in tears, having a breakdown in Steve's arms*

Steve: *holding him close, shushing and murmuring encouragements*

Alpine: *literally just walks by, flicking her tail and shooting Bucky a look before walking away*

Bucky, sniff, tiny smile: oh look, Alpine :'')

Steve, fond sigh and smile: yeah, Buck. Alpine.

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Bucky: *reading a book*

Alpine: *asleep next to him*

Bucky, gasps, holds the book towards Alpine: Can you fucking believe that guy, Alps?

Alpine: *raises her head for a second, unimpressed look, couldn't give less of a shit, flops back down*

Bucky, shaking his head while tutting: I know, right? *goes back to reading*

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Bucky, calling out from another room: Hey, Stevie?

Steve, walks into the room: yeah-- wait, where are you?

Bucky: up here

Steve: *looks up with the most confused face ever*

Bucky: *laying stomach first on the top of the closet, his hands curled against his chest like a cat loafing, Alpine loafing next to him, grinning down at Steve*

Steve:

Bucky: we're both chickens today :3

Alpine: :3

Steve, snorts: yeah. My best chickens

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Bucky: there's no way you can make that jump

Alpine: *effortless queen, hops down from top of the fridge to the kitchen chair on the other end of the wall*