#cptsd coping

I struggle having the motivation for chores/house keeping and fantasize that itd be more fulfilling as a parent. I find caring for something good for my mental health, but I struggle so profoundly its unsafe for me to be a real parent.

Mi sembra casa ogni luogo in cui lascio il vuoto. Il vuoto è dentro di me.

Lo porto in tante dimore in cui alloggio, in tanti posti in cui la mia permanenza è più lunga dell'euforia iniziale.

This blog will be a collection of thoughts, regarding my personal life, my history, and my objective is especially to find people in a similar situation where I am because I've been feeling like a bird in a cage for the past 3 years and for the next years to come as well, with no end closer...

I don't know if I'll even post any tags here, I'll probably just add #cptsd stuff, as well as #Tori-thoughts alongside it

im day drinking again?

especially Australian so we might be able to meet irl at some point

but anyone to talk to would be so cool. I miss hearing about people's lives sm

I spent the first 2 or 3 years in disbelief that she wasn't a part of my life any more.

I spent the next 4 wondering what I did wrong and how I could fix it.

The next 3 years I came to terms with it. She said she wanted to be a part of my life again just after my 18th birthday, and I said no.

My early 20s have been plagued with hatred for her. For abandoning me when I needed it most. For not being a better mother to my siblings that still live with her.

I don't want to hide behind a mask anymore. People have told me before that they thought my mom was dead, and to me she is.

I want to end things