#coupshan

pissed off is such an understatement to describe what jeonghan is feeling right now.

they had just finished filming for don’t lie iii. jeonghan had always been good at keeping his emotions but not this time. he couldn’t hide his displeasure at all. jeonghan’s sure that the other members have felt the shift in his behavior but he couldn’t care less, not when he was loathing at the fact that he was betrayed by the one person he thought wouldn’t destroy his trust.

nobody commented but jeonghan felt them walking on eggshells around him. however, jeonghan doesn’t have the energy to soothe them. at least not right now.

after removing his make-up and changing into a more comfortable clothing, jeonghan silently went to the car. he greeted all the staffs with a small smile on his way out but once he was out of the set, his face turned sour upon seeing seungcheol waiting beside the car, all cleaned up. jeonghan wasn’t really in the mood to talk to his boyfriend right now. he still felt hurt when seungcheol sided with the citizens after the words of assurance he whispered to him throughout the show.

jeonghan was contemplating if he should go back inside before seungcheol sees him or just face seungcheol head on. he feared he’d say something that he would regret, but at the same time, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to quell his anger if he doesn’t talk to seungcheol.

sighing, jeonghan decided to just face seungcheol. the latter would still pester him anyway later if he escaped now so might as well do it now so he can get some peace of mind after.

“what are you doing here? your car’s at the corner,” jeonghan said coldly, eyes ablaze with resentment.

seungcheol perked up at hearing jeonghan’s voice, feeling small all of a sudden when he saw jeonghan’s cold stare, “jeonghan…”

“i really don’t want to talk to you right now, seungcheol, but you’re in the way and i don’t think you’d be leaving soon if i ignore you now so make it quick,” jeonghan crossed arms.

“it was just a game, jeonghan,” seungcheol tried to lighten the atmosphere by laughing a little bit, “you know i wouldn’t betray you just like that. it was all for the show.”

jeonghan scoffed, “well, it wasn’t just a show for me.”

“i know, i know,” seungcheol hurriedly said, holding jeonghan’s hands with his. “i’m sorry it had to be that way, but i just thought it would be fun to twist things a little bit. you’ve always been good with mind games, anyway.”

“it’s not about winning the goddamn game,” jeonghan huffed, slapping away seungcheol’s hands. he could feel his blood boiling with the way seungcheol’s treating him right now. “you fucking betrayed my trust and that fucking hurt so much that i couldn’t even control my expressions anymore!”

“jeonghan—” seungcheol tried to reach for his boyfriend but jeonghan blocked his attempt.

“don’t fucking touch me!”

by this time, all the members were finished cleaning up and arrived at the parking lot with jeonghan shouting at seungcheol. everyone was perturbed, especially the younger ones. joshua took a step forward as if he’s a huge wall that can block the members from seeing the two oldest members arguing. he took matters into his own hands and directed everyone back inside with the help of their managers. the managers wouldn’t be able to help anyway in pacifying jeonghan at the moment.

jeonghan rarely gets mad at anyone and if he did, it wouldn’t usually end up with him shouting in anger at them. so, everyone knew this time’s a little bit too complex for them to take. the best thing they can do is to maintain distance.

“jeonghan, stop being petty. this isn’t like you,” seungcheol almost popped a vein but he managed to calm himself down. he saw the members coming out to the parking lot but he was able to make eye contact with joshua who immediately got the message.

even if jeonghan is his boyfriend, seungcheol doesn’t tolerate being treated like this. he just wished he could’ve worded it properly. more than anything, he needs to clear this issue with jeonghan now. if they don’t, it will affect not just their relationship, but the whole group as well and seungcheol doesn’t want that.

“petty?” jeonghan laughed forcibly, brushing his hair away from his face. “okay, call me petty, i don’t care. now, get out of my way and stop talking to me.”

jeonghan tried to brush seungcheol aside but the latter got a hold of his wrist before jeonghan could even enter his car. “let’s talk this out, jeonghan. right now. i know what i did was wrong, that’s why i came here to apologize. i don’t want us to go home holding grudges against each other. so, please talk to me.”

“don’t fucking patronize me!” jeonghan roared, heart constricting at the amount of foul energy he wanted to let out but couldn’t. “are you blind? can’t you see i’m pissed? i’m trying hard to control myself. if you can’t keep my trust, then at least fucking respect my wishes. is that so hard to do? i know i’m one of the oldest, but you don’t expect me to be so forgiving every single time, right? now, fucking let go of me.”

without realizing it, tears were streaming down jeonghan’s cheeks. on top of being betrayed, the frustration he felt for being dictated on what to feel and do suffocated him so much that he felt the need to burst out. it was too unbearable keeping everything in. he doesn’t know why he was betrayed. seungcheol and him agreed to help each other out. everything was going according to plan. seungcheol only needed to follow the plan they laid out initially but why did seungcheol had to switch sides when they were almost at the finish line? where did it go wrong?

jeonghan’s only a human. he has the right to feel frustrated, to feel enraged. who wouldn’t when he was showered with words of assurance just to get stabbed at the back?

“you know, i didn’t care if i win the game or not,” jeonghan muttered, accepting the hopelessness he’s feeling. all the rage he felt was now replaced with resignation. “having you beside me, knowing that you will always choose my side, i was already happy. but when you betrayed me, it was so painful—too painful. my chest felt like it was being crushed literally. it felt like losing you with no guarantee of return.”

and seungcheol regretted it the most, especially now that he’s seeing jeonghan crying in front of him. he’s the reason why his beloved is hurt. he didn’t mean to but he couldn’t deny that his actions did. all seungcheol wanted to do right now is bring jeonghan into his embrace and smother him with all the love he can give. but seungcheol felt incapable, not knowing how to take away jeonghan’s pain.

“i’m sorry, my love,” seungcheol whispered, eyes looking down from where he’s holding jeonghan. he held jeonghan’s hands carefully, afraid that he might break him. bringing them up to his lips, he tentatively kissed jeonghan’s knuckles, a forlorn attempt at asking forgiveness. “i love you, jeonghan. please know that i didn’t mean to hurt you. it wasn’t my intention at all.”

seungcheol held jeonghan’s stare with his own.

it crippled his heart when he saw once again the red-rimmed eyes and the dried tears on his beloved’s face. he freed jeonghan’s left hand in favor of wiping jeonghan’s tears. it was the least thing he can do. eventually, seungcheol couldn’t take it anymore so he gently pulled jeonghan into his arms—embracing him—hoping jeonghan can feel his sincerity. he held him closely, anxious that jeonghan might slip away from him.

“i can say sorry as many times as you want, but i know you’ll just get tired hearing apologies from me every single time. so, let me make it up to you, jeonghan. i won’t promise anything, but i will always follow you from now on. i will do everything you ask of me. i will follow you wherever you go, wherever you need me,” seungcheol said as he held jeonghan’s face tenderly. “can you give me a chance to prove myself to you, my love?”

jeonghan stared at seungcheol’s determined but remorseful orbs before saying, “okay.”

seungcheol was beyond relieved. he nuzzled against jeonghan’s shoulder, muttering his relief and gratefulness, “thank you, jeonghan. i love you.”

sighing, jeonghan returned his boyfriend’s hug, relaxing at the way seungcheol’s scent covered his entire person, “i love you.”

even without seungcheol asking, jeonghan would’ve given him as many chances as he wanted. albeit this affair isn’t enough to break them apart, jeonghan was genuinely hurt and craved attention. his pride might have taken participation but jeonghan wouldn’t let it solely dictate the course of their relationship. it takes two to tango after all.