#cosmic chatter

I wanted to say a little something. I’ve been sorta quiet on here lately and taking a bit of a break from the hellsite. not because i’m over it or stopped loving my boys (literally could not be further from the truth) but just... i needed a moment. Lots of shit is happening internally

for a long while I was mega into my sw self ships...like, all in especially with Ani. then I watched vo7ths and my hyperfixation shifted. I ended up really bonding with luke and honestly? it’s been such a HUGE comfort.

the thing that’s been kinda gnawing at me... when that hyperfixation switch happened, a lot of people that I thought were my friends just... stopped talking to me. like all together.... no more dms, no likes, no asks...just silence. and maybe I shouldn’t take it personally, but I kinda do and it kinda hurts, y’know?

I thought we had more of a friendship going, but I guess for some people, it was just about the shared media fixation. not about actually liking me and that realization sucks. it makes me feel like i was only ever worth engaging with when i was hyperfixated on the same thing as them.

i’m still here. still self-shipping. still loving hard and deep.. maybe a little unhinged pfft. just a little quieter now, while i sit with that hurt for a bit.

I'll be back when I can. This isn't the full reason why I'm gone as I said I have a lot of shit going on internally and this is just a small piece of why I'm not here. (Outside issues besides here fyi)

Hope y'all are taking care of yourselves.

first, i think beyal is a trans girl so, from this point on, i will be referring to her with she/her

Subject: Friendship

Subject: Australians

Subject: Existence

Subject: The Transcendence

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