#corywrites

It had been at least two days since Viktor had last slept properly. Occasionally, he’d nod off, only to snap up again when his head thunked against the desk, but that was only ever for a few minutes at a time. At this point, his hands were starting to shake, and every time he blinked his eyes stayed closed for just a second too long, like his body was trying to force him to bed, but still, he resisted. They had work to do. He had work to do.

And Jayce was gone again, which meant Viktor had to pick up the slack somehow. Even with his body giving out more and more everyday, he had to complete his work. There was no time for rest.

Viktor hummed thoughtfully, fighting back a yawn as he spun through the runes attached to the Hexcore. His vision was starting to get hazy and as he glanced over his notes of the combinations he had tried already, he found it was hard to decipher anything. It felt like he was looking through perpetually dirty glasses that he couldn’t clean off no matter how hard he tried.

With a sigh, he haphazardly plugged in a new set of runes. Probably haven’t don’t these yet, he thought, or at least, he hoped.

Pulling his goggles down, he leaned back into his chair, his pencil twirling between his fingers as he got ready to write down another failure. With a quivering hand he reached out to activate the core, but this time, unlike the past hundred from his previous trials that day, the Hexcore didn’t fizzle out.

Viktor’s eyes widened as a bright bolt of blue-purple light arched out at him, searing hot and blinding. He gasped, heart racing as its power raced through his bones, electrifying the blood in his veins into a fiery molasses. He tried to pull away, jerking back from the light, but its tendrils of glowing heat pulled him back to it.

He was fairly sure that he screamed before he collapsed, the pain too unbearable for the few seconds he was still awake to feel it.

Hours later, when he woke back up his heart was still racing. He half-expected to find himself in a hospital room once again, his partner looking at him with that sad kicked-dog expression. But he was still in the lab…or what looked like the lab.

“Shit,” Viktor groaned as he gripped his head, trying to stop the pounding against his skull.

At least it wasn’t a failure, he supposed, it must have done something to have that much backlash. Instinctively, he went to grab his pencil to jot down notes of the occurrence, but when he finally got a good look at his surroundings his excitement dulled to a dim horror.

He was several feet below his desk. And not only that, while sitting, he was shorter than his chair. With quickened breaths he looked around for his crutch. He wrapped his arms around the leg of his chair to pull himself up, and when he readjusted, he spotted it. Just where he left it.

The crutch was leaned against the desk where it was easily accessible for him… and now it towered over him.

“What…” Viktor groaned as he stared up at it, “This can’t…”

He felt fine, or as fine as he could given his deteriorating state, but as he looked around the lab he was met by a similar sight. Everything towered over him. He couldn’t even see the top of the couch he’d fallen asleep on more times than he could count or the blackboard he and Jayce had used to scribble down new theories. And to his horror, he could see a screw, long forgotten under the desk, that looked to be roughly the same size as himself.

The scientist part of his brain raced through the possibilities- what this could mean for Hextech, what they could do knowing the Hexcore could not only shrink matter but seemingly leave it fully functional. But the much larger, more animal part of his brain was terrified.

He had to fix this.

But the first step would be getting back to the Hexcore, and staring up at the top of his desk, now towering above him like a mountain peak he could never hope to climb, he knew that would be a Herculean effort. Not even to mention the fact that his whole body was still shaking from the effort of staying awake.

“Alright, okay,” Viktor said under his breath, trying to steady himself as he came to terms with the situation. With a deep breath, he reached his arms up the chair leg as far as he could. The adrenaline coursing through him helped as he pulled with all his might, trying to climb it, but even with the mounting panic inside him, he only could get a few inches up before falling back down to the ground. His leg exploded with pain as he collided with the floor, and he doubled over at the new flaring heat in his joints.

“Shit,” Viktor groaned as he reached down to hold his shaking leg, “Shit shit shit.”

He’d just have to wait then, he supposed. He knew the lab like the back of his hand, and he could find somewhere to rest before he had to try again, even though he hated the idea of staying like that any longer.

His head whipped around as he studied his surroundings. He was fairly sure he wouldn’t be able to pull himself far with his leg flaring with pain and his crutch one hundred times his size, so he settled on the space underneath one of their tool drawers. His leg cried out with pain as he shuffled over to it, and once he was fully hidden he leaned back against the wall, his face tight as he grimaced though the sharp heat in his leg.

He’d have to sleep there. He had no choice if he wanted enough strength to even attempt to climb the desk again.

It was difficult to find the will to sleep, with the adrenaline still coursing through him, but his body was so exhausted from several sleepless days, that when he shut his eyes he was out within moments.

When he woke up next he would be able to try again, and everything would be fine. No one had to know.

The only problem was that in his exhausted state he forgot about the one hinge in this plan.

“Viktor?”

Viktor had never woken up faster in his life. His head shot up, smacking against the wall behind him painfully, but luckily the sound didn’t seem to draw Jayce’s attention. The only problem was that his partner was only a few steps away from the drawer he was hiding under. He could feel the vibrations from the man’s now gigantic shoes every time they hit the ground, like small earthquakes against the tile floor.

“You in here?” Jayce called out again, as his feet stopped close to Viktor’s desk.

Meanwhile, Viktor sat frozen. Eyes wide at the sight of Jayce’s boots. He recognized them of course, he’d been there when Jayce had purchased them for a meeting with some potential investors. Then, he had offered them to Jayce, a soft smile at how happy his partner was to dress up.

Now, even the wooden heel of Jayce’s boots was taller than him. His breathing stuttered at the thought.

“Hey, Viktor?” Jayce asked again, his voice pitching up at the last syllable of his name.

Viktor knew that tone, of course he did. Jayce was worried, as he was more often than not nowadays. His voice tightened and raised in barely hidden concern. Ever since the day in the hospital Viktor had come to hate that tone.

Viktor’s brain worked through options of what to do. Best case: Jayce would leave, and he could fix the problem on his own. But as he watched Jayce’s boots from under the drawer he started to fear that wouldn’t be the case. After all, Jayce had gotten into the habit of meeting Viktor late at the lab every night.

Guilt burrowed deep in his chest at the sound of Jayce’s concerned voice as he looked around the lab. He could tell him, he thought for only a second before he shut down that train of thinking. That was dangerous. It didn’t matter if he trusted Jayce, if he’d be careful; he was too small and it was too risky. And he still couldn’t quite calm down his rapidly beating heart at the sight of someone several hundred times his size.

So he waited, barely breathing as to not give his partner any clues to his presence as Jayce leaned over his desk nearby. A few minutes passed with only the sound of ruffling papers above him before Jayce made an odd sound, a small questioning murmur as he reached out to grab something beyond Viktor’s sight- his crutch.

And right as Jayce shifted, something toppled to the ground from the desk above with a loud thunderous crash.

Immediately, Viktor jumped up. His leg ached at the movement as adrenaline roared in his blood. His heart pounded and his whole body tensed up, ready to flee if needed. It took him a moment to even process what had fallen with how loud it had sounded in his ears- a screwdriver, his screwdriver, now easily three times his size.

He didn’t even realize he had made a sound until the boots stopped right in front of the drawers he was under. Jayce mumbled something to himself that Viktor couldn’t quite make out, but he didn’t have any time to think about it before Jayce’s knees hit the ground.

The moment Viktor realized what was happening he froze. Jayce had heard him.

He could try to run, but without his crutch he couldn’t get far, and he’d likely hurt himself even more. Desperately, he shuffled back into the corner, pressed between the wall and the leg of the cabinet, hoping and praying Jayce just wouldn’t notice.

But Jayce was a scientist after all, he didn’t get far without being perceptive.

Viktor held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut as Jayce’s face finally came into view, brows furrowed as he looked under the cabinet. His large hazel eyes glanced around as he grumbled again something about mice, and for a brief moment Viktor thought he was safe before-

“Viktor?”

Viktor’s mouth went dry, his eyes flying open to meet Jayce’s own, now staring intently at him. For a moment the world around him froze. His heart beat so fast he thought it would jump right out of his chest.

Gods, Jayce was massive.

Before he could do anything Jayce’s hand was under the cabinet, reaching for him, and suddenly Viktor couldn’t breath.

“Stop, wait,” Viktor gasped as he held his hands out in front of him, “I…I’m fine.”

Immediately, the gigantic hand in front of him froze. Jayce’s fingers still twitched like he wanted to reach out, but they didn’t move any closer.

“Viktor, what?” Jayce shook his head in confusion, “I…apologies, but you don’t look fine. What happened to you?”

Viktor took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, “The Hexcore…I just… it did something.”

Jayce tilted his head in thought, his lips tightening as they always did when he was presented with a difficult problem. His eyes narrowed like he wanted to ask something before he sighed, the expression dropping from his face completely.

“Well I can see that…How long have you been like this?” Jayce asked, voice much softer than it had been moments before.

Viktor stilled himself, wrapping his arms around his aching leg as he met Jayce’s eyes, “I eh…I’m not sure. I tried to get back up to the Hexcore, but couldn’t make it…so I decided it was likely best for me to uh…stay here for a bit.”

Jayce’s eyes flashed with something again that Viktor couldn’t quite put a name too before he sighed. His hand retracted and before Viktor could stop him or say anything, Jayce was standing again.

“You know you don’t have to hide from me,” Jayce said, his voice booming from somewhere far above, “I can help you.”

Viktor sighed, and shrugged his shoulders even though he knew Jayce couldn’t see him anymore. He knew he was referring to something else…to the rift between them that was growing larger and larger each day, but that argument was the last thing he wanted at the moment. And he was too far away from Jayce to even warrant giving him a response…it wasn’t like he would hear it.

“I’m going to move this okay,” Jayce said, after a few moments, the drawers above Viktor shaking a bit, “Make it a little easier to talk.”

Viktor braced himself against the wall as the world around him shifted. Again, he found himself wishing he could run, to get as far away as he could from Jayce’s gigantic form that could reduce him to nothing with no effort at all. But he couldn’t. So all he could do was sit as the ground underneath him vibrated, and the cabinet was shifted away from Viktor, until he was completely out in the open.

“There you are,” Jayce said with a tilted brow and a small careful smile, “Now do you want help or no?”

Viktor scowled as he looked down at the floor, anything to avoid the dizzying sight of his partner looming above him that was starting to make him feel sick, “I don’t need your help, councillor.”

It was a low blow and Viktor knew it, but staring up at Jayce, the frightened animal-like part of him wanted nothing more than to snap- to prove he wasn’t weak. And thankfully Jayce didn’t seem too hurt. The man sighed and offered Viktor a sad smile as he oh so slowly bent down to sit on the ground next to Viktor.

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want,” Jayce said slowly, “But I also can’t leave you here like this. You know that right?”

Viktor prickled at the man’s tone, “I don’t need your pity or your help, Jayce.”

“Then how exactly did you plan to get back up to the Hexcore?”

Viktor met his words with a scowl, “I would’ve found a way.”

“And how long would that have taken?” Jayce asked, voice firm.

And to that, Viktor had no response.

The adrenaline that had been rushing through him was starting to die off, and he truly didn’t want to argue anymore. The instinctual need to make sure people knew he was able to do things on his own warred against his own logical reasoning. This was different. He really couldn’t do this on his own. This wasn’t Jayce treating him like he was broken like he was so used to from everyone else.

Jayce never did that.

After a few moments of strained silence, Jayce cleared his throat and tilted his head towards Viktor, “Really Vik… just let me help you, it’s no problem. And I don’t want you to get hurt like this.”

A million different emotions warred in Viktor’s head before he finally gave in. His shoulders slumped forward as he let out a sigh and tilted his head up at Jayce, “Fine. Just… get me up to the desk.”

Like a dog, Jayce immediately and visibly perked up. His eyes softened as he bent down closer, his hand slowly reaching out again.

This time Viktor didn’t stop him, although his heart still jackhammered in his chest in fear at just how large Jayce was.

“Can I pick you up?” Jayce asked cautiously, his fingers hovering a mere breath away from Viktor.

Viktor stood frozen as he stared at Jayce’s hand. His eyes widened as he fully took in the size difference. He was maybe the same height as Jayce’s pointer finger, if even. The vast different was enough to make his head spin.

“Yeah, yes. That is fine Jayce.”

A soft approving sound was the only warning Viktor got before the fingers reached forward and gently wrapped around him. Viktor had to hold his breath to not jump at the contact, but after a few moments he relaxed. Jayce always had run warm, and his palm seemed to be the same. It was almost nice in a way Viktor would never admit.

After a moment, the fingers wrapped around him more securely, Jayce’s grip tight but not painful as he lifted Viktor up to his face to get a closer look.

“You’re so small,” Jayce laughed softly as he tilted his partner around in his hands like he was another experiment.

“Jayce!” Viktor grumbled as he hit one of Jayce’s ridiculously massive fingers, “Stop twisting me around like I’m a Hexgem.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jayce apologized quickly, “It’s just so odd. And everything feels okay?”

Viktor shrugged, silently cataloguing his body, “Aside from the usual, yes.”

A nod from Jayce, “Okay…okay. We can work with that. That’s good. We just need to figure out how to reverse the runes and you’ll be fine until that.”

“What do you mean until that,” Viktor frowned, responding a little harsher than he really intended, “We flip the runes and fix it now.”

Jayce swallowed nervously and shook his head like he was thinking, “This isn’t…Viktor…we can’t just wing it. This is your life! We have to try to recreate this first. What if we flip the runes and something worse happens. I- we can’t.”

With his last words, Jayce’s expression hardened as the familiar look of worry filled his eyes. However, as much as Viktor hated it, Jayce was right. They already knew the arcane worked in strange ways, and there wasn’t even a guarantee the same runes would work to change Viktor back.

“Jayce,” Viktor sighed, his head leaning to rest on Jayce’s thumb which was wrapped firmly around his chest, “I can’t walk. I can’t work. I can’t even go home like this.”

Viktor waited for Jayce to understand what he meant- for him to realize just how big of a problem this was- but Jayce’s expression just softened in response.

“You stay with me then.”

“What?” Viktor asked, eyes wide with shock, “Absolutely not. I will not burden you for some mistake I made. And I can’t just…I can’t just sit in your apartment all day until you decide it’s time to come to the lab.”

Jayce’s lips tightened in response, and subconsciously his fingers moved to rub gently across Viktor’s back, “It’s not a burden to have my friend around more often, Viktor. And you won’t. You’ll come with me, I wouldn’t feel right leaving you anywhere like this anyways.”

Meanwhile, Viktor felt like he’d been slapped in the face. Jayce’s expression was earnest, but it made no sense to Viktor no matter how hard he tried to comprehend it.

“You’re my partner Viktor,” Jayce nodded, brows raised at his tiny friend, “I’m not making you go through this in your own. Hextech is both of ours, so its mistakes are too. Besides, it’ll be nice having you around, maybe I can actually make sure you sleep for once.”

At that, Viktor flushed red in embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to hide away from Jayce, but it was nearly impossible when he was firmly stuck in the man’s hand.

Jayce laughed softly at Viktor’s clear embarrassment and brought his other hand on top of Viktor, covering him completely. “I’ll have to hide you while we go to my apartment, but I’ll get something set up for you there. We can rest tonight at least, and start looking into the runes tomorrow.”

It was hard for Viktor to fight the urge to argue that they should start now, but the all-encompassing warmth of Jayce’s hands was making a nap sound really really good.

Before Jayce even got out of the academy building Viktor was asleep. He was worried about his partner, he always was, but the sight of him so small in his hands made something soft bloom in Jayce’s chest. As they reached the cold streets of Piltover, Jayce gently dropped Viktor’s sleeping form into his breast pocket.

The night of the gala changed something between Jayce and Viktor. Viktor couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it was like something in Jayce had snapped— a thread pulled taught until it finally broke.

He was still touchy, Viktor didn’t think anything could change that, but Viktor couldn’t help but notice that he seemed less comforted by it. He’d hold Viktor like he was afraid he’d disappear more than anything. Furthermore, the gentle teasing he would give Viktor over his stature had all but disappeared.

It was even worse when they were in the lab. Jayce seemed almost single mindedly determined to stay silent— his lips stayed firmly shut as he doggedly tried more and more ruin combinations. Every failed attempt only seemed to drag him further into his hardened determination.

It was three days after the gala when Viktor had finally had enough of the silent treatment. He was sitting at the edge of Jayce’s work desk where piles of withered leaves had been swept to the side from failed experiments, and Jayce looked like he was a second away from a break down. His gigantic hands trembled with every twist of a rune.

“Jayce,” Viktor called out to him. His eyes wandered to the open window at the other side of the lab, soft orange hues signalled that the sun had already started to set. “Maybe we should call it a day, yes?”

He didn’t really want to—not really. He’d much rather keep working, but he felt like he was going to explode if he had to sit through even a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence while Jayce tried and failed over and over again to come up with something that would work.

It felt uncanny to see Jayce so unnervingly quiet, and at least going back to Jayce’s apartment would mean he’d get to have some closeness back; Jayce still slept with him on his chest. Unfortunately, all he got in response was a small hum of acknowledgement—Jayce didn’t even look away from the Hexcore; his fingers stiffened around it.

Viktor gave him a few seconds before his lack of response started to hurt. Annoyance prickled under his skin as he stood up, leaning into the crutch Jayce had made him, so he could walk closer to Jayce’s hands.

“I know you heard me,” Viktor frowned.

Jayce stilled, his hands freezing around the Hexcore. His lips tensed like he wanted to say something before he let out a sigh.

“You seem unwell,” Viktor continued, trying to pry a response out of Jayce.

Jayce swallowed visibly, and his brows furrowed together as he finally spoke, “I’m just worried I—it’s almost been a month and we still don’t have a solution.”

Viktor had to stop himself from wincing at the reminder. Jayce seemed worried—more scared than Viktor had seen him before—and it felt unsettling. Jayce had always been the more optimistic of the two of them.

“It’s just like you said before, if the core can change me once surely it can change me back,” Viktor said, trying to sound more confident than he really felt.

Unfortunately, all his words managed to do was make Jayce’s lips tighten into a frown.

“What if I can’t do it though?” Jayce swallowed, his eyes falling on Viktor’s form like a heavy blanket, “I mean…I’ve already tried so many combinations.”

“You’re the smartest man I know, Jayce,” Viktor hummed in thought, “I trust that if there’s a way you can find it.”

The room fell silent as Jayce deflated in on himself—his shoulders hunched as he leaned over the desk, letting his head fall to rest on his folded arms. The angle brought him much closer to Viktor, and from only a few steps away Viktor could really tell how exhausted Jayce looked. His eyes seemed unfocused as they stared down at him and his stubble had started to grow out more than he’d usually let it. Usually, he kept himself well-groomed, one of the reasons so many people were fond of him—one of the reasons he was perfect for the council and…

“Wait, weren’t you supposed to have a council meeting today?” Viktor asked.

Jayce at least had half the mind to look sheepish as his lips twisted into an embarrassed frown, “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you go?” Viktor scolded, walking closer until he was only an arm’s length away from where Jayce’s head was resting on his hands. He didn’t miss how Jayce seemed to lean closer to where he stood.

Jayce seemed to think on it for a moment, his lids heavy and exhausted from overworking himself, before he spoke. “I wanted to work on this some more.”

“While I appreciate it, I’ve told you before I can work on it without you as well,” Viktor’s lips tightened into a thin line, “At the end of the day this is my mistake.”

He didn’t like how Jayce’s eyes saddened at his words, like a dog left out in the rain. It was strange, only a few months ago Viktor would have been ecstatic to have Jayce back in the lab, but now it felt hollow. More than anything it seemed like Jayce felt like he had to be there, and Viktor couldn’t help but resent him just a bit for that.

“I know you can,” Jayce’s hushed words pulled Viktor out of his thoughts, “It’s just…the other night really scared me.”

Viktor stilled, looking up at Jayce curiously. “The gala?”

Jayce’s face twisted into a frown at even the mention of the party. “I thought—I thought something really bad happened to you. Something really bad could have happened to you.”

Viktor sighed as he finally walked close enough that he could lean against the meat of Jayce’s forearm. The touch seemed to pull Jayce out of his head just a bit. Jayce looked at him with such a gentle expression Viktor thought he might burn up on the spot.

“What happened at the gala wasn’t your fault,” Viktor reminded him softly. Jayce hummed in response— Viktor could feel the vibrations rumble through his whole body.

“I don’t blame you,” Viktor continued slowly, “You don’t have to overwork yourself to fix this.”

At that Jayce shook his head, nearly causing Viktor to topple over before a large hand reached out to offer him support. Viktor felt his chest warm at how easy the motion was for Jayce—it seemed like second nature.

“If I don’t fix this soon though something bad could actually happen to you,” Jayce’s grimaced, “I—I keep dreaming about it. The longer you’re like this the more I worry I—”

“Jayce, working yourself to death won’t fix anything,” Viktor sighed, as he tilted his head up, “I believe it was you who told me that before.”

“It’s not safe for you to be like this though,” Jayce frowned.

“Eh, just don’t take me to another gala and I’d say we’re relatively fine,” Viktor was almost shocked how easily the words came to him—how much truth was in them. He truly didn’t mind being small around Jayce…in a way it felt nice. And getting to have Jayce around more was certainly a nice bonus.

Viktor watched as Jayce’s face flitted between emotions like a radio flickering between signals. Even with Viktor’s reassurances he seemed conflicted—something heavy and sad laid hidden behind his eyes.

“Come on,” Viktor said, patting Jayce’s arm with his hand, “Let’s go back to the apartment yes? You look like you’re about to pass out, and if you’re out of commission you’ll be no help at all.”

Jayce looked like he wanted to argue, but as his eyes fell on Viktor the fight visibly left his body. His gaze softened as he let out a soft weak laugh.

“Alright.”

————————————

Even after getting back to the apartment Jayce seemed tense. He made them food in near silence, and Viktor had to pry conversation out of him whenever it got too uncomfortable. He was thankful when he finally was given his portion—at least with food in his mouth the lack of conversation felt more normal.

It was slightly better than it had been before they left though, Viktor noted. While Jayce was still quiet, stuck in his thoughts where Viktor couldn’t follow, he didn’t seem as sad. He almost looked apologetic whenever Viktor tried to drag a response out of him.

Needless to say, Viktor was thankful when Jayce asked if he wanted to go to bed. Even though he’d done relatively little that day, the tension and heavy silence between them had felt exhausting to manage. With a nod he let Jayce scoop him up into his hands, his fingers curled protectively around him, as he walked them both to his bedroom.

Their setup was familiar now, and even though it still made something warm flutter in Viktor’s chest, Viktor was starting to get used to it. The comforting up-and-down rhythm of Jayce’s chest was comforting beneath him, and the soothing warmth and weight of Jayce’s hand above him helped let his mind shut off.

“I’m sorry,” Jayce’s voice came out hushed and weak, pulling Viktor away from the edge of sleep.

Viktor blinked a few times, trying to process whether or not Jayce talking at all had been a product of his sleep-addled brain when he felt it. Jayce was shaking—just enough that Viktor could feel it throughout his body.

“Jayce?” Viktor looked up, tilting his head back to try to see Jayce’s face through the darkness. With the little light from the outside he could just barely make out a wetness around Jayce’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Jayce’s whispered, his voice wavering “I—I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Now Viktor was really awake. Softly, he pushed his hands against Jayce’s palm, a silent ask to be let go, and when Jayce reluctantly freed him Viktor stood up as best he could on Jayce’s shaking chest.

“What’s wrong?” Viktor asked, voice quiet—too worried he’d do something to accidentally startle Jayce even more.

Jayce answered with a pained sound. His other hand, the one not being used to help Viktor stay upright, went to wipe at his face.

“Nothing, nothing. I’m alright.”

Viktor frowned leaning against Jayce’s hand so he could get a more clear look at him. “You’re crying.”

Jayce just whimpered in response. Internally, Viktor berated himself—he’d never been good at comforting people.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked after a few awful seconds of silence only broken by the sounds of Jayce’s soft broken breaths.

“It’s okay. I—I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Viktor frowned. He hated the way Jayce recoiled from him as he spoke—his head bumped into the bed frame behind him.

Viktor softened his voice as if he was talking to a scared animal rather than a grown man. Jayce had always been emotional, it wasn’t a bad thing, but Viktor should have expected this would happen after their talk at the lab. “Is it about the gala still?”

Jayce’s face twisted into a pained expression as he looked away, “No…yes? Maybe.”

“Mhm,” Viktor nodded, urging him to continue with a hand gently rubbing against one of his giant fingers.

“I just… I feel like I should already have figured this out. You shouldn’t have to be relying on me and I—” Jayce’s voice broke off with a distressed gasp.

“And you what?”

Jayce swallowed nervously as the hand behind Viktor moved to rub against his back, “I feel guilty.”

“I already told you, what happened wasn’t your fault Jayce, I—”

“No, it’s…it’s not that,” Jayce’s winced.

Viktor studied his expression as best as he could in the dim light. He’d never seen Jayce look so distraught, his face was scrunched up and red with tear marks.

“What is it then?” Viktor asked, voice careful and calculating.

Jayce tilted his head, his fingers still rubbing absentmindedly against Viktor’s back as he spoke, “Everything. The gala, the council, you, all of it.”

Viktor’s brows knitted together in confusion, “What do you mean me?”

Viktor hated the broken laugh that tore its way from Jayce’s throat. “I feel so awful I…fuck. You almost got hurt because I still can’t figure out how to fix you and I still…I’m still—” Jayce’s voice trailed off.

Viktor watched him for a moment before he decided to make his move. Carefully, trying his best not to fall, Viktor walked his way up Jayce’s chest until he was standing right in front of his face. Jayce’s eyes squeezed shut as he quivered, new tears beading up in the corners of his eyes.

“You’re still what Jayce?” Viktor asked.

Jayce’s breathing stuttered as his face twisted into a grimace. Almost a whole minute passed before he opened his mouth to speak, his voice was so quiet Viktor was sure he wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so close to his face. “I’m still selfish.”

Viktor stilled, staring intently up at Jayce like he could see into his thoughts if he just tried hard enough. “What do you mean by that?”

Jayce swallowed, the movement nearly sending Viktor toppling over. “Even after the gala, even knowing how awful this all must be…” Jayce took a shaky breath, “I’ve missed you.”

Viktor’s brows furrowed as he tilted his head up at Jayce.

“I know it was my fault that we drifted apart in the first place but… I’ve missed this—missed being with you,” Jayce’s voice faltered, “I—I worry once I fix it, it won’t be like this anymore.”

Viktor’s face fell as he looked up at Jayce’s distressed face. His usually warm golden eyes were wet and red around the rims as he wiped his tears away with the back of his fist.

“I’m sorry, I know this is hard for you I shouldn’t be—”

“Jayce,” Viktor interrupted him, laying his hand on his chin. The contact caused Jayce to jolt. “I eh, I understand…I’ve worried the same.”

“What?” Jayce whispered. Even the small motion of his lips nearly caused Viktor to topple over due to how close he was to his face.

Viktor swallowed down his nerves and anger from so many months alone in the lab. He might not be the most forward person, but he could try, at least to stop Jayce from crying the whole night. “I’ve missed you as well.”

At that Jayce looked like was about to fully burst into tears, and Viktor barely had time to react before a massive hand grabbed him from behind, smushing him against Jayce’s collarbone. Jayce’s whole body shook under him and while Viktor’s immediate thought was to push the gigantic hand away he decided against it. Jayce seemed like he needed it and Viktor was nothing if not a selfish man—he’d take what he could get of Jayce’s touch.

He let Jayce hold him until his breathing finally evened out. While a deep part of Viktor still prickled, angry that it took so long for Jayce to come back, a much larger part of him felt so relieved that Jayce wouldn’t vanish again. He had been getting tired of the hours upon end alone in what once was their shared lab.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry so much,” Jayce’s voice wavered as he lifted his hand up from Viktor. His eyes were still red and irritated but otherwise he seemed better.

“It’s fine,” Viktor reassured gently, “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I’ve just…” Jayce sighed, “I’ve felt bad that I’ve been enjoyed this—having you around, being close again.”

“You know I don’t have to be dependent on you for me to want to see you, yes?”

“I know but…it just got to a point where I didn’t think you’d want to see me at all,” Jayce shrugged.

Viktor tensed, his eyes focusing on Jayce’s face through the darkness. As he spoke he squared his shoulders, hoping that Jayce could hear the deeper truth in his words. “I was angry sometimes, yes. I was mad at you for a while—for joining the council, for not showing up to the lab…But I never would have turned you away.”

Jayce frowned and slowly his hand moved to rest in front of Viktor palm-up, a silent invitation. Viktor didn’t think twice before taking it. He stepped between Jayce’s towering fingers to stand in the center of his palm, the warmth of blood and life under his skin was comforting in a way Viktor didn’t think he’d ever be able to replicate once he was back to his normal stature.

Slowly, Jayce’s hand moved, bringing Viktor up to the pillow his head was resting on, and Viktor had to grab onto his pointer finger to not fall over. When he was deposited securely on the pillow right next to Jayce’s face he allowed himself to relax, lying down next to him. Meanwhile, Jayce’s giant eyes seemed to stare right through him, searching for something, and Viktor felt himself flush as a warm wave of breath passed over his body. Even so small, Jayce looked at him as if he held the secret to the world, and Viktor was weak to it.

“I can’t wait till we fix this,” Jayce said in a hushed tone as he brought his hand to Viktor’s back, pulling him closer to his face. His eyes had started to flutter shut, hovering between open and closed as he let himself relax. The domestic sight of Jayce falling asleep made Viktor’s stomach grow warm with something he refused to acknowledge. It took all his power not to scramble away—to put some space between them.

“Why? So you don’t have to carry me around anymore?” Viktor teased, hoping desperately that Jayce couldn’t see how red his face surely was.

“No,” Jayce smiled, the action so soft and gentle Viktor wanted to scream, “So I can do this properly.”

And then, before Viktor’s brain could catch up, soft lips, the size of his whole body, had pressed him back into the pillow. The overwhelming warmth made Viktor’s skin feel like it was on fire, and the butterflies in his stomach seemed to migrate throughout his whole nervous system. Jayce was kissing him. The man he’d fantasized about for years—who’d never shown any signs that he felt even close to the amount of affection Viktor held for him—had him pressed back into the softness of the pillow, trapped by his lips.

It felt like it had barely even started before Jayce pulled away, eyes wide and panicked as he stared at Viktor.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I thought—”

And Viktor couldn’t have that. He couldn’t have Jayce, the most caring and beautiful man he’d ever seen, think even for a second that he didn’t want the same thing.

“Jayce,” he interrupted. Jayce stared at him like he’d just been shot. The fear clear in his eyes was sweet in a way. The fact that he thought for even a moment that Viktor didn’t want him back was a ridiculous thought.

Viktor laughed at Jayce’s wide-eyed expression as he leaned forward. It felt wrong, like it was all a dream. But as he pressed his much smaller lips into Jayce’s bottom lip it felt warm—real. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of it, and once he was the correct size again he knew he’d take any chance he had to kiss his stupidly handsome partner who somehow liked him back.

After a few moments Jayce pressed his lips back against him, slow and careful like he was still afraid somehow Viktor didn’t want this. And as he pulled away and tilted his head up to get a better view of Jayce’s awe-struck expression he laughed. The man looked like he was about to combust.

—————————————

After the day of the apology, the one Viktor had thought would never come, Jayce had gotten far more touchy with Viktor. It had started with that afternoon, Viktor asleep against his chest with a large warm hand pressing into him like a weighted blanket, not moving until Jayce had to get up to cook. It was nice while it lasted, the touch Viktor had always craved but could never ask for, but he knew it was likely a one time thing…

But then it continued on into the next day…and the next day, until the moments where Jayce wasn’t touching him in one way or another started to become few and far between.

When they were together it was almost like Jayce was a magnet, constantly drawn to Viktor’s presence, the Earth in constant orbit of the Sun, his hands itching to touch him whenever he was close, like it hurt to not be in contact. He’d always been a touchy person, Viktor knew that- it was impossible to avoid when they had spent so many years in the lab together. But this was new…and Viktor was sure it was going to kill him.

They had been working for a few hours already, Viktor nestled against the side of Jayce’s neck so he could better see the work desk. They had tried so many rune combinations by that point, entire pages in Jayce’s notebook filled with possibilities that never came to fruition.

Jayce huffed, brows furrowed in equal parts curiosity and frustration as another plant turned to dust on the table in front of them with a shock of blue light.

“Alright, so not that one,” Jayce sighed, as he crossed out the rune combination in their notes, his hand pressing with just enough force to smudge the ink at the end.

“At this rate I’ll be stuck like this forever,” Viktor scoffed, raising his brows at Jayce even though he knew the man couldn’t actually see him.

“We’ll figure it out,” Jayce responded, voice gruff and harsh, “If it can shrink you it has to be able to change you back, right?”

Viktor couldn’t help the frown that tugged at his lips, “I surely hope so.”

“It will.”

And really, who was Viktor to argue when he wanted it just as much…even if the consistent failures were starting to weigh down on him.

Before he could reply with some snarky comment, Jayce’s hand was on him, fingers wrapping around his body carefully, in a way that was becoming too practiced for Viktor’s liking. His whole world shifted as Jayce picked him up like he was nothing more than a tool, and it took everything in Viktor to not snap at the man for not giving him a warning first. But at the same time, the all-encompassing warmth of his forge-worn fingers felt nice, like a sweater on a cold day- although he’d never tell him that.

When he was finally placed down onto the desk, Jayce at least had half the mind to look apologetic.

“What?” Viktor snapped, face red as his head tilted up as far as it could to get a better look at Jayce.

“I…sorry,” Jayce’s eyes widened, “It’s almost six.”

At that, Viktor paused, he had almost forgotten about what Jayce had said that morning.

“There’s a gala tonight that I can’t get out of,” Jayce had said, head tilted back against the pillows with his thumb idly rubbing up and down against Viktor’s back, his tiny form resting snuggly on his chest.

Viktor had been half-asleep, body fighting to stay conscious under the warm weight of Jayce’s hand. The only response he could manage was a small tilt of his head.

“I was hoping maybe you’d come with me,” Jayce had said, voice tilting up hopefully.

And Viktor could remember his amusement- he knew Jayce wanted to keep him nearby while he was so small. He had asked before about coming to meetings, but Viktor’s response had always been a resounding no. It was almost endearing how Jayce kept asking, regardless of Viktor’s consistent and firm refusals.

The only problem was that Viktor couldn't remember saying no this time. Maybe it was the gentle warmth of Jayce’s touch or the promise that he’d get to spend more time close to the man he was weak for, but he was sure in the early hours of morning he hadn’t told Jayce no.

“Oh yes,” Viktor said, mouth running dry, “The gala.”

“Yeah. They wouldn’t believe I was sick again,” Jayce laughed, a soft deep sound that Viktor could practically feel in his chest, “But the new suit I got has a few pockets you should be okay in.”

And how could Viktor argue when Jayce looked at him with so much hope, his eyes wide and pleading for Viktor to stay with him.

“That should be fine,” Viktor shrugged, ignoring the way his heart pounded at the idea of being so close to Jayce for so long, “Just don’t intend to stay too long. I can’t promise I won’t start biting after an hour.”

“Only an hour?” Jayce laughed.

“Perhaps I can make it longer if we get to the lab early tomorrow,” Viktor sighed.

The grin he got from Jayce, wide and crooked and showing off the gap in his teeth, almost made the whole thing worth it.

“Deal.”

And that was how Viktor had gotten himself dragged to a gala- something he had never wanted to do even before the accident. The extravagant parties Piltover’s elite held were never his thing. He hated all the schmoozing and pointless talk that came of them, and while he knew they needed money, he was more than happy to let Jayce go alone. He always was the more charming of the two of them anyways.

Viktor was tucked securely in one of the side pockets of Jayce’s suit. The silky maroon fabric was warmed by Jayce’s body heat, making the small space feel nice and comforting, and like a cat, Viktor leaned into it. He couldn’t help how he instinctively pressed himself against the sturdy warmth of his partner. It was amusing to Viktor how even in the winter Jayce still ran hot, just like the forges his family was known for. And with how cold it was outside, Viktor was more than grateful for it.

While he couldn’t see out from his spot in Jayce’s pocket, he knew they had arrived at the gala when the silence of night in Piltover morphed into a loud cacophony of sound- voices and instruments and the shuffling of people- all overwhelmingly loud to his now extra sensitive ears.

Within seconds a heavy weight pressed against him almost like Jayce knew what he was thinking, and while he couldn’t respond (and he knew Jayce would push him back if he tried to look out) he was grateful for the touch. It grounded him, stopping his thoughts from wandering too far.

It didn’t take long at all before Jayce was swept away by possible investors; Viktor could feel his deep charming voice vibrating throughout his whole body. He could tell Jayce had had a few too many glasses of champagne when his steps became more uneven, jostling Viktor around in his pocket. Still, every few minutes a hand would press into him- a gentle reminder that Jayce still remembered he was there as he chatted with Piltover’s most elite.

“Jayce, it is very good to see you in attendance again,” Counselor Medarda’s voice boomed above him- the soft lilt of her voice all too familiar.

Even the soft touches did not help with the jealousy growing in Viktor’s gut, curling and venomous like a snake about to snap its jaws.

Viktor could practically feel his skin prickle.

“Mel,” Jayce said, voice soft and happier than he had heard it in a while, “It’s good to be back. I’m sorry I haven’t been feeling well lately.”

“Well I’m sure I speak for everybody when I say we’re glad to have you back in the spotlight,” Mel replied, and Viktor could practically feel how Jayce preened at her words. “It’s far less fun at these events without the golden boy.”

Jayce chuckled, small and tight, and that made the jealous part of Viktor beam. At least he could get real laughter out of Jayce.

“I’m sure,” Jayce replied, and Viktor could imagine the tight smile on his face, “Although I can’t say I miss watching Salo falling over himself after three drinks.”

In return, Mel laughed, the sound soft like bells, and Viktor retreated into the corner of Jayce’s pocket. Maybe if he could fall asleep he could ignore their conversation and in turn stop the bubbling jealousy in his chest. As petty as it was, he wanted nothing more than to pull Jayce away. He’d gotten so used to being the center of his attention that he had almost forgotten why they had drifted apart in the first place. He didn’t realize that Jayce hadn’t laid a hand on him in a while until someone came crashing into them.

Viktor huffed, body squishing against Jayce’s side as he heard a yelp and a muttered apology from someone likely a little too drunk. Over the sounds of the orchestra picking up, Viktor could just barely make out the conversation between Jayce and whoever had bumbled into him. Ever the gentleman, he heard Jayce asking if the man needed any help finding a seat.

Viktor didn’t have any more time to ponder the situation though before he realized that something was wrong- he felt cold.

Jayce had made sure Viktor would be comfortable in his pocket beforehand, and the silk fabric combined with the man’s body heat had been more than enough for Viktor to feel alright while at the gala. But then, right across from Viktor, he saw a gap where the threads of Jayce’s suit had been torn apart- likely ripped during the ordeal with the drunkard. The cool air from the gala blew in, making Viktor curl up further into the far side of the pocket, trying his best to stay far away from the ripped seam.

Above him Jayce’s voice boomed, and with every step Viktor was shook closer and closer to the hole. Frantically, Viktor tapped at Jayce’s side, hoping to get the man’s attention, but he received no response. All he could hear was the sound of laughter and the hushed conversation between Jayce and Mel. For the first time since the incident he truly felt small.

A moment later Jayce turned, just a bit too fast, and Viktor felt himself slip, the satin hard for him to get a good grip on. For a moment he was sure he was going to throw up.

“Jayce!” He yelled, hoping more than anything that Jayce would notice, but still there was no response- his pleas drowned out by the thrum of the gala.

Viktor barely processed Mel asking for a dance, his mind completely focused on holding on tight to the smooth fabric around him. But one more quick shift from Jayce as he took Mel’s hand was all it took.

Viktor yelped, arms covering his head as he slipped through the gap in the seams. Time seemed to freeze for a moment as his body met the cool air. Like a scared child he curled in on himself, but nothing could stop the quickly approaching tile of the gala hall. Seconds before hitting the ground he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that anyone, anything, would help him, but it was to no avail.

He hit the ground with nothing more than a soft thud to anyone listening. Pain shot through his leg, but the fire in his joints was nothing compared to the pure terror coursing through his veins. Adrenaline pumped through him as he stared up at the hundreds of people around him- all towering over him like mountain peaks- their voices loud and mangled together sounding like thunder to Viktor’s ears.

At the very least he could still see Jayce, although as one of his massive boots came down within steps of Viktor he felt his blood run cold. With each footstep, the massive people around him sent tremors into the ground making it difficult for Viktor to stay upright. Internally, he battled between wanting to stay close to Jayce- wanting nothing more than for the man to notice, pick him up, and take him back to his apartment where it was safe- and wanting to find somewhere hidden where no one would ever find him again.

But Viktor didn’t have much time to think before Mel’s shoe stamped down right next to him. The elegant wooden heel towered above him, and as she moved again he had to throw himself out of the way, rolling onto his side and causing more pain to shoot through his joints. Within moments, where he had been was covered by her shoe, and the thought of turning up on the bottom of it- nothing more than a smudge- made him feel sick.

He had to get away.

His blood pounded beneath his skin like a drum, the thump thump of his heart even louder than the musicians who were still playing regardless of the nightmare he was stuck in. It hurt, his leg felt like it was on fire from the fall, but he was alive and he planned on keeping it that way.

The familiar prick of tears stung his eyes as he took one last look up at Jayce, slightly wobbly from the alcohol and smiling wide as he talked with Mel. He wouldn’t cry though, he refused. Realistically, he knew this was happening whenever Jayce went to the galas, of course he did. He saw how the man looked at Mel. He knew he couldn’t compare even if the closeness of the past few weeks had started to convince him otherwise.

He had to go.

Viktor’s face scrunched up in pain as he trudged his way to the nearest sign of safety- the large gilded dining table near the center of the room. His eyes moved constantly darting back and forth between every single person in the room- calculating his chances of getting stomped on at any given moment. Luckily, he’d fallen where most people had decided to dance, meaning their movements were slow, predictable.

Even so, there were quite a few near misses, with him having to throw himself out of the way before finely polished boots smashed down on top of him like he was nothing more than a pest. By the time he got to the table, he was out of breath, his heart jackhammering in his chest. Even though he had really only covered what would have been a few steps at his normal size, his muscles seized like he had ran a marathon.

With a shaky breath he settled down against the leg of the table. From where he was he could still feel the tremors of every step as people passed by. The sight in and of itself was horrifying. He had gotten so used to being around Jayce that he had almost started to forget how terrifying it was to be so insignificantly small. In the first few moments, when Jayce had first found him after the incident, he’d felt horrified, and at that moment, sitting still under the table, praying that no one would notice him, he felt that same all-encompassing terror.

——————————————————————— Jayce was sure he was going to throw up, and he told Mel as such right before darting to the edge of the room. His hands checked his pockets for the tenth - hundredth - thousandth time, hoping that maybe he’d just missed him somehow, that maybe Viktor was still there. But it was to no avail, and to his own growing horror he only found a small gap in his pocket, the seams ripped apart.

Frantically, he checked his shoes to make sure nothing (or more correctly, no one) was stuck to the bottom, and even though he was sure he was getting some odd looks from the other attendees his mind could only think of one thing. He had to find Viktor.

He’d realized something was wrong after agreeing to dance with Mel. He’d felt awful for not attending a gala in so long since he knew she looked forward to him being there. Really, a dance was the least he could offer. But afterwards, when he’d reached down again to reassure Viktor that he still remembered he was there, he felt nothing, no bump in the fabric, no movement, nothing.

The horror must have been clear on his face considering how Mel immediately asked if he was alright, her concern clear from the softening of her face. But how could he be when his partner was somewhere in the gala hall on his own, small enough to be squished by one wrong step. Gods, Jayce was going to be sick.

He was sure he looked crazed to anyone passing by, eyes wide and panicked as they scanned the floor, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He could make it up to any possible investors once he was sure Viktor was safe, which he was, he had to be.

Once he was absolutely sure nothing on his shoes was his partner he took a deep breath. He had to stay calm. He recalled one night years prior when he and Viktor were working on their initial proposal for the Hexgates, only a few days before their deadline. At the time Jayce had been panicking, and the calculations he was working on were filled with mistakes. He remembered how Viktor took one look at the scrawled numbers before forcing him to sit and talk it through with him. He had told him then that nothing good came of such stress; that Jayce always worked better with a clear mind.

He struggled to keep a clear mind now.

But still, Jayce persisted. With his one goal in mind he marched back out into the thrall of people, his eyes glued to the floor for any sign of his partner. A few of the partygoers tried to stop him, to talk about Hextech or whatever new policies they wanted from the council, but with dry lips and weak words, Jayce excused himself every time. He didn’t miss how their eyes would flash with disappointment, but he could worry about that later. When he arrived back at the center of the room his search truly started. He was sure that he was around there when he’d last checked on Viktor.

“Jayce, are you sure you’re alright?”

His head whipped towards the source of the question, only to be met by Mel, her face scrutinizing and worried.

“Yes I…” Jayce struggled to find his words through his panic- his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, “I dropped something.”

“Oh,” Mel tilted her head, amusement clear in her eyes, “Well, do you want help looking for it?”

The response he wanted to give was a yes; his immediate knee-jerk reaction was to spill everything to her. He trusted her- she could help. But the thought of what Viktor’s reaction would be to finding out someone else knew…Jayce couldn’t do it. He knew he’d been walking a thin line with Viktor for months, maybe even years, and they’d only just started to grow close again. He couldn’t risk his trust.

And that wasn’t even to mention the trouble they’d get into if anyone found out about what the Hexcore was capable of. Hextech was his connection to Viktor, he couldn’t risk that.

“No, I…I can find it,” Jayce muttered, his mouth a tight line as he waved off her offer, “Thank you.”

Mel’s brows furrowed, her eyes studying Jayce for a few moments before she gave in. He could tell she wanted to say more, to pry further, but within seconds she was being pulled away by another partygoer off into some other conversation.

Yet, as minutes passed and there was still no sign of Viktor, Jayce started to regret not taking her offer, even if Viktor would never forgive him for telling someone else about his situation. Every second without Viktor made his heart sink in his chest like lead. Time felt like a blur as he searched, frantic as he scanned the ground.

It wasn’t long before another feeling, heavy and all consuming filled his chest- guilt. Viktor hadn’t even wanted to join him at the gala; he knew that. He’d given Viktor the choice, but still, he knew Viktor only came because of him. And now Viktor was in danger…or worse…because of it.

His thoughts muddled together until they only consisted of one thing- find Viktor, find Viktor, please find Viktor.

Most attendees had already left before he finally spotted him, and the moment he did, he swore his heart stopped beating, his blood frozen in his veins. His partner’s tiny form was curled up against one of the legs of the dining table. He was still- too still for Jayce’s liking- but he was thankfully whole.

He didn’t think twice before leaning down and snatching him up in his hands. Immediately, Viktor thrashed against his hold; he’d likely been asleep, but Jayce couldn’t bring himself to feel bad when he was so simply overjoyed that Viktor was alive.

Jayce didn’t say his goodbyes before rushing to the building’s exit. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Mel watching him like a hawk, but he would worry about that later. The cold winter air hit him like a brick the moment he got outside, but the discomfort of it was barely a whisper in the back of his mind. His eyes darted around to make sure no one was nearby before he opened up his hands to really look at Viktor for the first time since he found him.

“Vik, shit, are you okay?”

In his hands, Viktor looked stunned, eyes wide and body stiff as he stared up at Jayce. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly like a fish out of water before his whole face tightened- his expression guarded.

“I… I just want to go home Jayce,” Viktor exhaled shakily, voice so quiet Jayce could barely hear it over the distant sounds of the city.

“Are you hurt? I’m so sorry I didn’t notice sooner,” Jayce panicked, voice wobbling with emotion, “I was trying to find you I promise I-”

“Jayce,” Viktor stopped him, his tone firm, “Please just…I just want to sleep.”

Jayce’s mouth flew shut as his thoughts raced. Thousands of apologies simmered behind his closed lips, but the look of defeat on Viktor’s face stopped them from boiling over.

“Yeah…yeah,” Jayce frowned, “We can go back to the apartment.”

Viktor nodded, still curled in on himself like he had been when Jayce had spotted him, and the uncomfortable silence and haunted look on his partner’s face was almost enough to finally break Jayce.

The walk back to his apartment was quiet and tense. Jayce held Viktor to his chest the entire way, uncaring of how odd it looked to anyone who could see him; he needed to feel that Viktor was okay. Unlocking his door was a challenge since his hands still shook from adrenaline, and as soon as he was inside he beelined for the bed. It frightened him how still Viktor was in his hands.

He couldn’t even bring himself to change out of his clothes as he laid down on the plush sheets, opening up his cupped hands to let Viktor out.

“I’m so so sorry,” Jayce muttered, not able to look Viktor in the eyes as he spoke, voice wet and thick with emotion.

He barely expected Viktor to respond.

“It’s not your fault,” Viktor sighed after a few awfully quiet moments, “I…thank you…for finding me.”

“I shouldn’t have lost you in the first place,” Jayce grimaced.

Viktor’s face flashed between emotions as he looked up at Jayce. He didn’t miss how Viktor leaned against his thumb, putting as little weight as possible onto his bad leg, and the thought of Viktor falling to the floor and having to navigate through all those people made Jayce feel sick.

“Don’t blame yourself,” Viktor frowned, tilting his head up to better see Jayce’s pained expression, “I don’t blame you.”

“I should’ve noticed sooner I-”

“Jayce,” Viktor practically snapped, brows furrowed in frustration, “Please, just… I am tired.”

Jayce made an expression much akin to a kicked puppy as he stared at Viktor, his eyes flickered between emotions, before he pulled his hands close to his face, Viktor along with them. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing, but the need to have Viktor close was nearly overwhelming. Gently, he pressed his nose against Viktor, allowing the warmth of his breath to ghost over the smaller man. He could feel how Viktor tensed up for a moment before relaxing against his touch.

“I’m sorry I just…I was so worried,” Jayce exhaled shakily, his lips just barely brushing against Viktor as he spoke, the action small but intimate. Viktor fell quiet in his hands, and as soon as Jayce processed how close they were he flushed with embarrassment.

Quickly, he pulled Viktor away, staring wide-eyed down at him, “I’m sorry I-”

“It’s okay,” Viktor stopped him, eyes wide and face unmistakably red.

Jayce stayed frozen still until Viktor waved to be brought close again, and Jayce couldn’t bring himself to fight it when all he wanted was to hold Viktor close after the whole gala ordeal. When Viktor was close enough again he leaned himself against the bridge of Jayce’s nose, as close to a hug as he could get. The action was slightly awkward, but before he could pull away Jayce pressed his nose back against him, pushing him even closer with his hands. His eyes scrunched tight as he let his shoulders sag and his worries be washed away by the small but comforting weight against his skin.

Again when he exhaled his lips just barely pressed against Viktor, and he couldn’t help how he wanted to stay like that forever. He could feel how Viktor tensed up from the proximity, but the smaller man didn’t tell him to stop, and Jayce was weak so he didn’t ask- too afraid bringing attention to their closeness would cause Viktor to pull away. He reasoned with himself that it was simply the comfort of his friend being close that he wanted. He just had to ignore the nagging want to press his lips fully against the man so carefully nestled in his palms.