#coronabride

I got married on the Monday before lockdown.

We wanted to get married in May. We had something beautiful planned. People bought plane tickets, we’d signed contracts, everything was ready to go.  

But then things started getting bad.  This was before the bans on gathering, before social distancing became a mantra. We saw what was coming, though, and we knew we had to make the decision quickly.  We thought about our family and friends, putting themselves at risk to travel. We thought about the people our family and friends would interact with while traveling. We thought about the healthcare workers  who will be on the front lines of this in a few days.  So we delayed our wedding five months and decided to elope. We chose 3/18 and got everything prepared for it.

Except then Monday morning, we found out the courts were closing.

We were DETERMINED to save our right to marry (that we’ve only had for five years) from the maw of the virus. So, with one hour’s notice, two of our friends threw together the most splendid ceremony we could have hoped for. We stood in the front yard of our friends’ house.  Neighbors gathered to watch, standing 6 feet apart in the cul de sac. A little girl we didn’t know threw flowers for us. Someone brought his dog (what’s a wedding without a dog?  Boring.  It’s boring). Someone gave us a bottle of champagne. Someone else brought flowers from her daughter’s baby shower and made us bouquets, while yet another person lent me her grandmother’s pearls because we’d forgotten the ones from my own grandma.  My wife’s best friend stood by her, our hostess stood by me because my family was in other cities and states, and my sister joined on video chat. We got married mere hours before the gathering ban was handed down, and it was incredible.

I love our wedding story. It’s only two weeks old, but god I love our wedding story. In the midst of a pandemic, we got married. In the middle of heinous bigotry, xenophobia, and racism, we got married. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I know who I’ll be with.

As a wedding gift to us, please consider doing a couple of things:

1) Stay home. Flatten the curve. Even when you think that quick trip to the grocery store isn’t a big deal, trust me - it is.  Try going just once a week.  Only take what you need.  Respect senior hours.  Don’t shop at the first of the month, when people on fixed incomes get their checks.

2) We all miss our friends and family right now.  If we don’t visit them now, we will get to visit them later.

3) Find racism and xenophobia and stamp that shit out. If you can afford it right now, intentionally order delivery from Asian-owned restaurants and go to Asian-owned grocery stores. Correct people who call COVID-19 “China flu” or “Wuhan flu.” Protect our Asian community members.

4) Respond with love. Whatever you see, respond with love (and whimsy, if you have any to spare).

- Chloe Deng