Aug 31, 2022
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Core need unlocked thanks to overthinking
I still feel that linger of annoyance. One of my pet peeves are when people ask for my help, yet they don't know what they want. Because I don't know how to help them, when I really want to help. I feel like I'm wasting my energy because I feel like I'm just shooting in the dark. hoping I'm being helpful. This happened today, and I'm not satisfied on the way I brought up this annoyance I wish I was more direct to the point and said what I've mentioned above, but I stubbled and held a bit back because I was scared of potentially hurting his feelings. When I was definitely feeling annoyed and very confused. one thing is for sure is I didn't want to tell him what to do, but at the same time maybe that me giving the guidance he needs so we can better communicate and be helpful.
Basically, I told him how I felt, which was frustration and sadness and told him that we are a team and for me to be helpful I would clearly need to know what is his needs/ wants. Looking back, this is not bad, it was actually clear. Okay good on me. Rizia I'm proud of you, you vocalized your needs as it happened that is growth. Did it felt uncomfortable, hell yes, but you pushed through and said it. This is how you don't feel any resentment or angry towards people by letting them know of your needs. I need people to know clearly what they want when asking me for help.
Core Needs: To be affirmed, delighted in, desired, included, loved, noticed, nurtured, protected, purposed, and rested.
(Source: Laurie and Matt Krieg)
don't make me mad at you
its the low kind the one that creeps in and then boom I'm upset. Why lately aren't you asking me about what-about throughout the day? This honestly triggers my core need of feeling valued, cus I care about you and I wanna know how you're up to? yet its radio silent on your end unless you need to vent to me and that's that. I'm actually upset. its a weird type of upset. do you care about me a lot? like the fact that I need to looks for those signs is upsetting. I can't tell if its all of a me situation but in the end of the day I will let you know how I feel.
I know one thing I can control is my monkey-mind and I need to silent it pls.
my needs aren't met and I'm upset.
I wrote that I miss you and if we can call a bit then you go and say that you are still playing and that you'll brush your teeth. by your sentence I feel my needs are not being met. I don't feel appreciated nor valued and I don't feel wanted nor desired. I told you I miss you and you didn't say it back or even asked to call you just said that you'll sleep soon because you work tomorrow. we didn't called for 2 night in a row and I just don't feel wanted by your words at all. and I fact that I wanted to call even if its just to say goodnight I feel so sad. I love you and I miss you, but I don't feel that you miss me.
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core needs, who is she?
Yesterday, I named my core needs, desires, and unique gifts. It was hard for me to named them in oppose to naming my belief system, fears, triggers and coping/ defence mechanisms. That only shows me how much I lived in my belief systems. Yes, they were birthed in me as a way to protect myself then as a child. Today at the age of 24, they no longer serve me and actually hurts me. my belief systems were sort of all I knew, it is familiar. After naming my core needs I notice how I repeatedly would not honour them, because all my belief systems and coping mechanism were habitual. I’m writing this because I betrayed my core need of feeling safe emotionally and physically. And my habit wasn't to forgive myself immediately.
Healing. Is what I'm doing, and I need to be patience with myself and be my cheerleader. I do forgive myself, she was only doing the these that are once familiar to her. All she need is to feel safe emotionally and physically, and to reunite with love. Here’s where where the work and growth comes in, life will test me and it’s my choice to practice and to put the effort to choose growth. It is not easy but the rewards is freedom. I’m reminding myself to take one step at a time, there is no need to rush the things I need will be there, don't worry, don't fear. Be ready for growth.
I believe you.
#NaNoPrep 101 Week Three - Construct a Detailed Plot
#NaNoPrep 101 Week Three – Construct a Detailed Plot
This third week of NaNo Prep 101 is titled Construct a Detailed Plot or Outline.
The exercise provided is a fun quiz to figure out what kind of plotter you are. I was not surprised to find that I am now equally 9-Step Plot Dot and Plot Rollercoaster.
How I’m Plotting this year
Last month while I participated in Writer-in-Motion, I wrote a post about how I approach plot: Playing with some plots.I…
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#NaNoPrep 101 Week Two - Creating Characters
#NaNoPrep 101 Week Two – Creating Characters
This second week of NaNo Prep 101 is titled Create Complex, Believable Characters .
The exercise provided includes character questionnaires that you may find useful, but the final three questions are the most important:
Want
Need
Internal/External obstacles
Where I begin my characters
Weeks ago when I began the Writer In Motion Challenge, I talked about the Character Creation SpreadsheetI’ve…
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