#cook!reader

And wouldn't you know it.

The walking shadow comes into your neck of the woods by the third day.

You don't acknowledge him. He doesn't say anything.

This goes on for a few days until finally he breaks the painful silence you've come to put on yourselves.

"Crook, a word?"

"You just said three of em, Lieutenant."

He stands there, and you have to fight the smile back when you see his eye twitch.

"I'd like to talk to you...privately."

"I'd like an apology first."

You know you're pushing his buttons. And this is really not necessary.

But you can't help it.

You wanted the boys to hurt just a little longer. And the other three already got to your good side.

You don't want this to be easy.

"Y'didn't need one when you waltzed into Price's office."

"What the Captain and I talked about is none of your business."

You're so grateful half of the cafeteria is gone. And your crew is in the kitchen. No one's around.

"It does when it involves me."

You laugh. "involves you? You haven't said a word to me since Marco got cleared from medical-"

"So you can go in Price's office and do fuck all, while I can't get you to the side to talk this out?"

You hate what his tone attempts to imply.

"Price and I had a conversation."

"And then you kissed and made up and lived happily ever after. Heard that, not interested-"

"You what I'm interested in, Simon?" You lean over the pancakes you've just put in the tray. "A fucking apology."

Ghost stares. It's wide, and full of rage but he doesn't let his body show it.

"You think we don't know what you're doing?" He spats, clanging the plate he was just holding onto the trays' counter. "You're wrapping us around your pretty little fingers, who's to say you won't use that-"

"I'll stop you there."

You're voice goes gravely. The few people that were there, look over their shoulders. Given what's just happened the past few weeks, they know better than to intervene.

"I've offered to step back, multiple times. I've offered to keep things clean and simple. You four are the one's that pursued me. Me."

You take his plate, pinching two of the smallest pancakes in front of you and plopping them onto the plastic porcelain-like dish.

"Don't ever insinuate I want something bad to happen here. You know that isn't me at all. You'd know it more if you didn't brush me off the way you did when shit hit the fan."

You point your finger at him.

"Don't fucking forget, Simon. You four left me to fend for my fucking self. and you couldn't have cared less for it."

Ghost's throat goes dry, thinking of something quick to say. But he comes out empty.

Wordlessly, you hand him his plate, and turn to disappear into the kitchen.

✦ The way a group of new soldiers tend to watch you when you interact with Gaz. The scoff that escapes one of the rookies after you assure Ghost there are still rolls they are just not ready. The sigh escapes another soldier right when Soap tries to make conversation.

✦ You don't mention anything about it. Mostly because what are you gonna do about it?

✦ You're the one making their food after all.

✦ But then the week's chore schedules come out. And you're irritated as fuck. 

✦ Because why the hell is Sevan and Jason being pulled out of their shifts?

✦ You need Sevan for the lunch rush. And you need Jason desperately for the breakfast rush too. On top of that, Lottie isn't even in the kitchen with you for some fucking reason. She's not even a soldier.

✦ The only ones that stay put are Marco and Paul, who are just employees.

✦ So naturally you take it to Ms. Copper.

✦ "Hey so is there something wrong with the schedule? My crew isn't where I need them to be."

✦ Ms. Copper raises her brow, tilting her head in confusion.

✦ "There shouldn't be a change, Crook. Let me take a look."

✦ So she sees the same thing you do and with her own authority just simply changes it back! Easy.

✦ Until You notice Price’s heated gaze on Jason as he laughs about something Paul said to him out the window and switches the trays of food the next morning.

✦ Until you see Simon silently staring across the way to Sevan helping the dishwashers, collecting dirty plates and utensils.

✦ Dinner was fine until you were getting ready for clean up and Price came marching in. "And just where the bloody hell were you two muppets this morning."

✦ You were shocked at his volume, his pointed glare, even his tense posture. He looked like a Captain alright.

✦ "What's happenin' here?"

✦ Price’s arms are crossed, as his glare gets transferred to you. "These two were here playing kitchenmaid when they were meant to be at training."

✦ "Yeah I know, I had the schedule switched when it came out. I thought you got the update." You respond, looking back at Jason and Sevan as they joined just to catch Marco before the trio left for the night. “Both of you weren't working the dinner shift so-”

✦ “We were at training,” Jason explains. “We just weren’t meant to be with the morning team.”

✦ Sevan only nods, but the two look almost fearful. You can imagine what their punishment is for skipping training of all things.

✦ Price looks deep in thought before he blinks and waves his hand off. “Carry on then.” Is all he states before he turns to leave.

✦ You hear the two soldiers sigh in relief when he leaves but dammit. What was the point of all that?

✦ When your crew finishes with clean up, and you’ve removed your uniform into your civilian clothes, you head out to find Price.

✦ Passing other soldiers you miss their small glances, the small whispers behind your back. How could you focus on them? After all you had one thing on your mind and besides, you figured the soldiers liked you at least. No way they would turn around and talk about you like that right?

✦ A gruff ‘come in’ brings you to poke your head through the now-opened door. You see Price sitting down with Ghost looking over his shoulder at his computer. What it could be you have no clue.

✦ But you don’t think you want to ask after Ghost pats him quickly on the arm and watches as Price quickly clicks to something else. It has you pause for a moment, quickly bringing a nervous smile to your face. “Bad time?”

✦ “No, Love,” Price coughs, waving his hand in front of his face. “No not at all. What’s the matter? Someone giving you trouble?”

✦ You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest after you close the door behind you. “Sure something like that.”

✦ Ghost’s fist clenched for a moment, almost missed entirely by you if you didn’t notice how they flexed back open. Your eyes meet Price’s and you're taken aback by the look of anger that flashes through them before they soften on you.

✦ “Who?” He huffs through his chapped lips. “We’ll take care of it, don’t you worry-”

✦ “John-” You hold your hand up, pausing his rant. Your feet carry you across the room right in front of his desk. “I’m talking about your attitude earlier.”

✦ The two men blink, heads turning to look at each other before returning their sights to you. “Say again?”

✦ You shake your head, bewildered. “You cannot be serious.”

✦ Your hands glide over your forehead, a small laugh escaping you. “You went completely mad in the mess hall earlier! Nearly had those soldiers pissing themselves in fear!”

✦ Simon snorts, his hands brushing against each other before they cross over his chest. His posture relaxes, but his cockiness is still standing tall. “We were told the schedule was solidified-”

✦ “And by who?” You rest your hands on your hips. “Who gives you the right to schedule out my crew?”

✦ “Some of your crew are our men.” Price scoffs. “I need them in training. They enlisted and now they’re here, they’re not your little minions to-”

✦ “I never said they were!” You scoff, smiling in astonishment. “Besides, I’m well aware they’re your soldiers. I only see them every morning and evening, and sometimes on Thursdays I’ll see them all day long.”

✦ Your crew has been the same for the past two years, and the five of you began this sort of arrangement you have a year into the job. Nothing changed when things started, so why must things be changed now?

✦ Especially since they knew how bad it could get in the kitchen to have randoms in the mix, the boys get switched out, but they’re there for the majority of prep.

✦ Jason is skilled with a knife and translates well with cutting vegetables and meats. He’s also very handy with the communication. Most might think it’s you calling the next items but no. That’s all him.

✦ Sevan knows sanitation like the back of his hand. He keeps the kitchen in order while tidying up and dammit does he send food out like a machine.

✦ “Well we needed them this morning-”

✦ “Okay, and that could’ve been communicated, John.”

✦ “What happens when they’re deployed elsewhere then?” He snaps.

✦ Honestly, the hostility you’re being shown shocks you. Not once has he ever shown this kind of side of him. It seems to have Ghost on edge as well because he keeps glancing in between the both of you.

✦ “Then we get it scheduled to ourselves. Me, Lottie, Paul and Marco! We pick up the slack.” You scoff. “You act like this had never happened before. When your soldiers are deployed I get a load off of me, they aren’t needed-”

✦ “Then learn to do it starting today.” Price knocks on the table, beginning to walk his way towards you. “We aren’t your bloody employees, Crook-”

✦ “Don’t.” You snap back, a finger pointed right on his chest as you stride forward, right in front of him. “I never once treated you like an employee. Nor any of the others. John, you know how stressful the kitchen gets when random people are-”

✦ Again, the captain cuts you off. “This is the last time I’m discussing this. The schedule’s been changed. This is for your good.”

✦ With that he, with some nerve, leads you out of his office with a slam of the door behind you.

✦ You honestly almost want to scream.

✦ That same night you see the change in the schedule, making you almost yank your hair out. It just about has you turning right back around to Copper’s office. But what the hell did Price mean by ‘for your own good?’

✦ The next morning there are two randoms in your kitchen

✦ You don’t get the chance to memorize their names because when lunch rolls around they’re switched.

✦ Yes, each chow hour there is a new pair in your fucking kitchen. 

✦ The first two got along just fine with others, you had them on prep for the majority of it. They at least knew to shout something when they were passing their finished product.

✦ The lunch pair was a little worse for wear, you had to throw out a good tray of potatoes because one spilled the pasta salad in the mixer. 

✦ Dinner was rough.

✦Not enough prep was done for the meat and bad cuts were being cooked. Most of it was charred. Lottie got hit above the head when she was crouched, with a metal tray of chopped celery because one of the rando’s didn’t shout ‘behind.’

✦ Then clean up. They half-assed everything.

✦ There was still residue on the silverware, the floors weren’t mopped, and there was a whole tub of dishes left to the side.

✦ It was Soap to find you later in the night, furiously wiping a warm soapy rag all around a plate that had crusts of the spaghetti sauce from earlier.

✦ “Crook?”

✦ ”What?”

✦ ”er…ye still joining us fer-”

✦ “No. Tell John I said he can fuck right off too.”

✦ Ouch.

✦ So naturally, he does. Cause he’s Soap fucking MacTavish and he and Gaz are way out of the fucking loop here.

✦ When they get to the bar, without you much to Price’s disappointment, Soap shares the message.

✦ “I didn’t wanna ask, after all, she’s skilled with a knife, gentlemen.” Gaz snickers into his beer before taking a swig. “But what the fuck was going on? I’m sure I heard Crook invent like five new curses in a record time.”

✦ ”Yeah, Price. Do tell. Tell ‘em what you did.”

✦ The lieutenant is met with a cold stare from his commanding officer, which he returns with his own steely eyes.

✦ “I pulled the pair of soldiers we had with her.”

✦ “And for what reason?”

✦ The Captain is quiet for only a moment before he leans in. “Heard some of the rookies making comments bout Crook.”

✦ “So why not have us deal with it? They should know better-”

✦ “Because they weren’t just talking about er. They were talkin’ bout you two.”

✦ The sergeants blink in confusion. 

✦ “So a bit of gossip then? So what? ‘S not like we-”

✦ “So.” the lieutenant chimes in. “That means her job is in jeopardy.”

✦ The whole table is silent. Not a word gets uttered from either of them. Just the ol’ jukebox that sounds just about ready to die in the back of the bar and few of the customers that surround them.

✦ You’re not a soldier. No. But you are a civilian who works with military officials. There is a code of conduct everyone should follow.

✦ And you do. To your own knowledge, you do.

✦ “What’d they say?”

✦ Price leans back, his hand sliding upon the polished wood of the table. “Tha’ you and the pair of kitchen hands were passin’ her around like some barracks bunny…”

✦ Soap eyes widen, offended on your own behalf. 

✦ “That’s fuckin’ ridiculous-”

✦ “Aye- where the fuck did they come up with-”

✦ “It doesn’t matter. That’s why I pulled the two soldiers. They’re thinkin’ they’re involved too.”

✦ With that in mind, the sergeants do little to interact with you in the daytime.

✦ You almost feel hurt if it wasn’t for the stress the kitchen was piling up on.

✦ The breakfast pair was a new pair of faces, rookies, that would not stop fucking yapping.

✦ You thought you found a small life hack, where putting the new guys on the prep would take a load off you.

✦ But no. 

✦ They talk and talk and talk.

✦ It’d be different if they talk and work but fucking hell dude. They just stand and talk. No chopping or peeling or anything.

✦ You had to get on their ass for the fourth time that hour before the timer for Lunch cooking started.

✦ “You guys are excused. But for the love of God just do something right and clean up your station-”

✦ “Sorry ms. Cook, we don’t take orders from you”

✦ “Yeah you excused us. Maybe the sergeants can teach you a thing or two about ordering around.”

✦ Marco whirled around, brows furrowed. “The fuck you say-?”

✦ “Alright!” You shout. “No dicking around in my fucking kitchen. You two- OUT!” 

✦ The pair left with a scoff, both cackling as they tossed their aprons on the hooks.

✦ “Fucking Christ, Crook. I didn’t think the rumors were actually like a thing.” Marco sighs out.

✦ “What rumors?”

✦ So Marco, the loverly gossip sponge, spills how after that little snapping match you had with Price, Sevan, and Jason told him how new rookies were talking smack about you.

✦ “Not just the rookies, either. Some of the seasoned guys here too. Guess they’re startin’ to believe it. I’m sorry, Crook I thought you knew.”

✦ You turn to meet eyes with Lottie, who looks just as confused as you are before she gasps in horror. “Oh my God, that kiss-”

✦ The two people that walked out of the base when you and Soap were outside- you really didn’t think anything of it.

✦ “Ugh, and Jason must’ve opened his trap about the mouse thing with Garrick-”

✦ “We have mice?”

✦ “No!” you and Lottie shout as Paul barely walks in from the freezer with the next main course.

✦ “Hey now, Jason can keep a secret- hell I didn’t even know bout any of that.” Marco tries to defend. “Besides, that still doesn’t explain why they got moved out of the kitchen.”

✦ “Unless the Sergeant did it to keep their mouths shut.” Paul muses, sharpening the set of knives being used to chop the next few pieces of vegetables.

✦ “Kyle is not like that. This is all a big misunderstanding.”

✦ You just know Price is not going to budge, so you go to Ghost of all people to help you out.

✦ You think you have a tight enough bond with him to provide you with a little bit of help. Or maybe just to be in your corner.

✦ But no matter how many times you go to Simon for some kind of answer, you’re met with resistance.

✦ “How about for morning prep?” “No”

✦ “For lunch cleaning?” “No time.”

✦ “Can they at least help me cooking-” 

✦ Simon snapped at that one. “Crook, we said no. Do I need to fucking spell the word for you? Deal with the change or fuck right o-”

✦ He almost looked shocked at his words. Like he didn’t really have control of his mouth for a moment.

✦ You didn’t cry, your lip didn’t wobble. But my my, did you look so defeated.

✦ “I just need help, Si…” You sigh. “You know how you train your men for the field? I trained those two on my own. And you won’t even tell me why you took them back like that.”

✦ After that there was more tension in the kitchen. You’d stray away from the four, which they suppose helped the rumors die down. But damn. You wouldn’t even call their names anymore.

✦ Then the breaking point.

✦ You should’ve really thought better than to supply these idiots with sharp kitchen knives. They aren’t like their hunting knives where they can practice they’re stabbing-

✦ No these things are meant to cut meat.

✦ So when you heard Marco scream from the kitchen while you were checking in on the serving crew, you felt your heart sink.

✦ You race in, ignoring the commotion behind you of soldiers standing up to see if what ever happened was in their view.

✦ They do see you come back out with blood on your left hand as you shout ‘Medic!’

✦ From what you gathered from the apologizing rookie, is that Marco turned around the corner from a station (that wasn’t his) and the rookie was coming back from the sharpening shelves on the wall. 

✦ The blade was pointed forward and Marco ran right into it.

✦ There was so much blood on Paul’s hand from where he tried to stop the bleeding. The knife was removed when he fell to his knees.

✦ You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know who to talk to. 

✦ And when Captain John Price makes his way towards you, worry in his eye,

✦ You can’t help but glare and hug yourself in hopes he doesn’t reach out to hug you. You’re too angry.

✦ He knows.

✦ “Crook…”

✦ “I told you.” You mutter. “They said they punctured something in him. He needed a blood transfusion. That might be light work for you soldiers or rookies but we aren’t soldiers. At least not anymore.”

✦ You stand from your seat, walking towards him. “If there’s a problem with silly rumors, Captain. Let me deal with it. Those people are like my family. And Sevan and Jason? Would have never done something like this.”

✦ Your eye never leaves him. Unblinking. “Either put them back or end this arrangement. I’m not having people get hurt because you think I can’t handle HR or stupid fucking rumors.”

✦ With that you walk away from him.

✦ And he wonders for a moment if you walked away from them completely...

heh, I needed a reason to write Price and Simon's solo fics.

While Cap did damage control and Ghost did fuck all - you didn't care what he had to say to be fair - the sergeants took care of the garbage for you.

Soldiers were sent to run around base day after day from the crack of dawn till the afternoon.

Training was way more intense and way too strict even to the higherup's standards.

You should have known something was up when people were being so nice to you during meal times.

It wasn't till Marco had something to say about it.

"Crook I know they mean well but...they're kinda pounding on these guys like crazy..."

You didn't realize how much this thing didn't just affect you.

The next time you saw one of the sergeant's you watching Jason and Sevan physically shrink within themselves before slowly making their way to collect trays.

"I got em. Get prep started before you take off for training." you had put an arm on one of their shoulders to stop them.

Gaz looked up at you, his face was stone solid. But you could see the regret in his eyes.

"Hi Crook."

Aw. He sounded so sad.

"Hi Gaz."

You take the trays out, watching him load his plate from the corner of his eye.

Your fingers touched when you reached for the same spoon, only your reach was intentional to grab his wrist.

"I need to talk. You and Johnny."

You end up finding a bit of time before the next meal time. Meeting with the two in the rec room.

"Why are you torturing those soldiers?" You crossed your arms, standing over where they sat on the couch.

They don't say anything at first. Until you sit down on the coffee table.

Johnny is the first to break. Seeing that you clearly weren't going anywhere.

"It's the least they deserve."

You shook your head. "Soap they're soldiers. You're tiring them out for the remainder of the week."

"And so what?"

"And so." you sneer. "You're going to be making this more difficult than it already is."

"it already is difficult."

Gaz leans in, elbows resting on his knees.

"Crook we just wanted to make sure you were safe and not be in a hostile environment-"

"And that's my job to handle."

You place your hands over your face.

This isn't how you thought things would go. But the three of you mentally/collectively agreed - at least you were talking again.

"You don't get to take over and blow this out of proportion!"

"Ye didnae hear the things they said. About you. About everyone-"

"Soap." You point your finger at yourself. "Read my lips."

"I could not care less."

The two sergeants scoff, each having their own mannerisms.

Soap leaning back, his buff arms crossed over his chest.

Gaz standing up, walking around to the back of the sofa with his hands rubbing his face.

"if I'm correct- which I fucking am -you all decided to pursue me."

Your finally breaking. They can feel the rage and crash out oozing out of your very pores. But they're just so fucking stubborn to even see what you say as reason.

For now.

"So why am I the one being fucking punished? Why am I the fucking problem? Answer me that."

They stay quiet. Angrily staring at anything else but you.

"ANSWER ME!"

"We donnae want ye to LEAVE."

With a quickness you weren't expecting, Soap shoots up from the couch and stalks towards you.

"Tav-"

"We're tryin' ta send a message. We'll do anything to get you to stay. Hell- Do ye know how many strings Cap's pullin to get our higher ups out of our business."

"Tav."

You blink, breathing heavy as you back up to each step Soap takes towards you until your back meets the wall.

His hands grasp yours, just as Gaz reaches his friend to stop him from doing something stupid.

You knew he wouldn't. But you weren't expecting this outburst.

"Do ye have any idea how difficult it is to be near you and not be able to love you."

The room stills, time is frozen. You're tears trickle down with every small gasp of air.

Gaz's eyes are casted down. His shoulders steadily rising to keep his composure.

You're lip wobbles and you shake your head.

"I shouldn't have involved myself..."

"You didn't." Gaz reassures. "I was the one being nosey. I was the one going out of line."

You freely cry now. Both men wrapping a respective arm around you as the three of you fall to either both your knees or one.

"I can't. I can't I'm so...I'm so fucking mad at you. all of you I just."

"We know." Gaz tests the waters with a kiss right under your jaw. "We know. But we're here. We can take your anger. We just want to hear you again."

There's really no solution to what that conversation was. You had to return to the kitchen soon.

Asking what the other two were going through was odd. They truthfully didn't know how to tell you anything other than this.

Cap's drowning himself in reports.

Ghost is keeping to himself. Even from them.

You rolled your eyes with that one.

With how he treated you with the scheduling incident, he fuck right off for all you care. but that's not gonna fly. Not if you're trying to mend things.

After dinner's meal time, you let everyone go home early. Cleaning up by yourself. It was therapeutic in a way. Gave you time to think.

You had a hunch. And you thought you were right to wait a bit behind to be alone in a particular part of base.

Lo and behold, you were right.

You can see the office light through the frosted window. The golden plated name tag appearing amber thanks to the warm lighting seeping from the glass out into the dark hallway.

It's late but you know he'll give you the time.

With a few knocks to the door, you wait for his deep and gruff voice to answer.

"Enter."

You take a deep breath, opening the door and stepping fully inside. You're eyes steeled with determination just as when you gave a piece of your mind to the sergeants.

"We need to talk, Price."

I'm sorry babes, did I not mention this was gonna be angsty?

“Soap?”

He pouts up at you from his seat in the rec room and looks away as he extends the brownies back to you.

“I cannae have these for a long time, crook.”

You look around, spotting Gaz longingly gazing into his teammate's hands.

You slowly take the goodies away from Soap, before turning to Gaz.

“Do you want it?”

“Fuck yes I do-“ you step forward before he continues “-but I can’t either.”

You scoff, placing your free hand on your hip.

“Wow! Are my treats not good for either of you anymore?”

“No!” They both shout.

Then out comes the truth.

Price and Ghost made a bet with their sergeants.

It all started at training, Soap and Ghost were debating which one of your sweets was better when Price made a comment.

“You lot couldn’t survive a single interrogation if she was there presenting her baked goods on a silver platter.”

“Yer sayin' you could, Captain?”

“Most certainly. Gaz more so.”

“Gaz?”

“He’s the only one of all of us that could.”

“How about a wager then?”

The deal was, that whoever could last ten days without any of your treats, could get their paperwork taken over for the remainder of the week.

When they explained all this to you, you couldn't help the sly smile on your face.

"So...no treats for you four then?"

"That's right, dove."

"Like none whatsoever."

"Aye, that's...that's right..."

"...Ok!"

And with that, you turn on your heel and walk out of the door.

The first two days are fine for the four. Every now and then they notice that the pancakes or donuts look fluffy, colorful, and delectable. But they stay strong for the most part.

That is until they notice some of the rookies holding a familiar baggy with a pastel ribbon on the top.

Price did a double take heading to his office, and seeing Jason heading to his daily duties.

In one hand he held a small stack of cookies, the other, a duplicate bag.

"Morning sir!" He smiled, politely.

It's when they pass each other the sentence reaches his voice. "Oh, you better make your way to the mess hall! Crook made a big ol' batch just for the soldiers!"

He makes his way there, seeing different soldiers pass him with the same goodie bags before he pokes his head through the door.

He sees you replaced the table that normally holds the soups with a treat table.

Upon closer inspection, there was anything ranging from cupcakes to cake pops, to muffins, to teeny little donut holes.

"Hi, Price!"

He turned to see your innocent smile beaming up at him.

"Crook! Uhm...What's all this for?"

"Oh just got carried away is all. I was up all night baking. But Soap and Gaz said you didn't want them eating my treats."

You over-exaggerate a pout as you interlock your fingers together and sulk away.

"Wait I-..." Price watches as you cheekily grin at him, walking further away until you make your way into the kitchen.

'Oh, those muppets-'

The next meeting, they met with Price's unimpressed glare.

"Which one of you blabbered about the wager to (Y/n)?"

The two sergeants pause before pointing at each other.

Needless to say, they were bracing themselves for whatever you had planned.

Ghost had a run-in with you in his office. You were in your civi clothes, not dressed yet for kitchen work. It's like 6 am.

"Crook." He greets. It's comical really, cause he's standing opposite from you, stoic like it's an interrogation.

"Simon."

You see his shoulders deflate on him. It's like his name coming from your soft lips is a tranquilizer for this man.

"I've come bearing gifts." You grin.

His eyes cast down right next to your bum, where you sit on his desk along with a small plate with one singular muffin.

"Sorry, Crook. On a diet this week-"

"Oh yes!" You cackle. "I've heard of this diet you four are working out together."

You hop off of his desk, walking up to the lieutenant with your hands behind your back.

Ghost is basically bracing himself.

"What is this. Trying to get me to lose?"

"Me?! No no, heavens no."

You reach up, lightly tugging on his sleeve to come closer to you. "I want in on this waver."

Now Ghost was more confused than before.

"I don't care about a prize, I care about watching you guys suck as a discipline."

"Excuse me-?"

"Four highly trained expert operatives, the great 141, the best of the best, can't handle not having sweets?"

"We're just fine not having shit love." He hisses, offended. It's adorable. "We could be out there in the field for months without decent food. It's what we're trained for."

You blink at him for a moment. Then you walk over to your plate pick it up and glance at him. "I guess I'll just have to up my game then, Ghostie."

With a giggle and wink, you take a bite of your muffin before walking out of his office.

A/N - Hope u guys missed crook. Ik I did.

Dividers by: @cafekitsune

at least they were being civil. Even with the promise of ending your punishment as soon as they get Ghost with their plan.

Speaking of a plan-

Tomorrow was the final day. the bet ended at 5 pm on the dot- 17:00 hours. Which meant you had to get Ghost to eat SOMETHING of yours before then.

Even though this was such an elite task force, the trio could not find a single way to get him to voluntarily chew up and digest a treat of yours before time was up.

Gaz suggested crying to him.

"Do I look like a fucking toddler? I'm not putting the waterworks."

Soap suggested restraining him.

"Sure I can just force him to chew and swallow a fucking cupcake."

Price suggested a smoothie.

"That...wait that could work."

So here you were, figuring out how to blend a sweet treat of yours into a fruit smoothie. Cause lord knows you won't get him to agree to a milkshake.

The idea seems simple, just blend like a cookie into a berry smoothie, but this is Simon.

He's gonna know.

How would he know?

He'll know.

Paul suggested making a yogurt-like treat and mixing it in after you explained your dilemma. (He saw you staring at the blender with fruits just sitting there. Thought you just about lost it when you kept picking up and putting down a fucking strawberry.)

Technically you would be cheating. Cause you know...you can't make yogurt from scratch that fast.

But you can freeze it and worry about it tomorrow.

So that's what you did while the rest of your crew worked around you.

You make it oh so pretty that you decided to only keep two of them for the smoothie batch and serve the rest of the treats for dessert.

The soldiers love it so much. such a creamy texture with every bite. It was essentially just a yogurt/chocolate bark thing.

Anyways

tomorrow morning comes around, and you had Lottie help you blend out all the smoothies into drinking cups. You were glad you didn't make a lot of these since you were using the drinking cups.

To identify the batches with the desert blended into it, you used green straws. The rest were given other colors.

Sure enough, as you restock them, you could feel a presence behind you.

You already knew who it was.

"You smell gross."

Ghost scoffs. "Do I now? Expected me to be smellin' like a bunch of roses?"

"I expected peonies at least."

He lets out a small hum, peeking over your shoulder.

"That count?"

The question confuses you before you understand he's talking about the smoothies.

"Oh, well I would think so considering the others grabbed one."

You pick one up. One with a green straw.

"Care for one?"

Ghost hums, as if he's in thought.

You almost think you got him, as you feel movement behind you.

However, he doesn't take the drink from your hand. He grabs a whole new glass right from the display.

"Thanks, love."

You can't help but blink in silence as he takes a sip and makes a noise of satisfaction. "Blueberry. One of my favorites from you."

You grin slowly, his knowing eyes peering into yours. "I'm so glad to hear."

You have a few more tricks up your sleeve.

Course he wasn't going to forget your conversation in his office.

You know better.

You're quick to take two of the 'contaminated' drinks and hide them in the fridge before thinking of different ways to get him to drink one.

Sending a quick text, you wait in the kitchen while everyone takes a small break after breakfast.

Sure enough, the door to the entrance swings open, and Soap's fluffy mohawk appears in your view.

"He didn't take the bait-"

"We know. Yer terrible at this."

"Pardon?"

Johnny laughs, walking over to wrap an arm around your waist.

"Lt sat with us, entertaining us with the idea of you," He flexes two of his fingers as quotations, "'poisoning' him."

"What?!"

"Ye cannae be too obvious like that."

He was right.

The most frustrating part-

He was drinking them.

Just not the ones you NEEDED HIM TO DRINK.

Eventually, time catches up to you. You're an hour to the end.

You're gonna have to do this the hard way.

Ghost likes his tea just as sweet as your treats.

So when he enters his office, briefly scanning the room, his eyes land on the chilled smoothie in the center of his desk.

He pauses, and that's when you decide to make yourself known.

The door behind him swings shut but he doesn't flinch.

No, instead he sighs, walks to his desk, and sets his tea down.

"What're you gonna do crook? Force feed me this crap?"

You gasp in offense. "crap?!"

"It's not like you put your blood sweat n' tears into this, love."

"You don't have to be so-"

"I'm not drinkin' it."

You stare at each other for a hot minute. It isn't until you move a chair against the wall to the front of his desk does he breaks his stare and rolls his eyes.

"Don't you have work to do?"

"Oh, so you don't want me here?"

"You know what?" The lieutenant sighs, "Sit there and look pretty all you want."

Ghost pulls his balaclava up to his nose, and reaches for the tea, which seemed more of a red tint than his normal creamy brown.

But for some reason he just never noticed.

Till he took a sip that is.

At first, he swallows and hums in satisfaction but as soon as the ceramic cup hits its coaster, his body looks as if it's taking a screenshot.

Oh, you hope he forgives you.

"What-" he coughs as soon as any noise is leaving his mouth, "what the fuck-?"

"I'm sorry-" You start. "I promise it's not poison or anything it's uhm..." You trail off as you reach in your pocket.

And to Simon's absolute astonishment, you pull out a tiny plastic back of dark red powder.

In tiny yet bold print: 'reaper dust'

"You're gonna wanna drink something fast."

He's huffing and coughing in front of you.

Granted he never would ever assume that you would poison him. I mean you didn't but you might as well have.

His mouth is on fucking fire.

The spice from the bag is spreading through his body, he never once thought he could feel the pain of spice in his toes.

"How the *cough cough* fuck-"

You didn't think it would work honestly. But with the help of Price, you kept Ghost out of the rec room long enough to open a few of the tea bags and pour some of the chili powder into the bags.

Just a tiny amount.

You didn't want to kill him after all.

You watch as he brushes by you, ripping open the tiny fridge he had, and stifle a laugh.

You removed all of his water bottles. There was only one baby in there waiting for him.

However, drinking it just made it a tiny bit worse.

At this point, Ghost is huffing and hiccuping over to his desk.

He's glaring at the glass before he looks up with a pointed finger.

"What's in this?"

"I think you know."

"Why?"

You shrug, the same look of nervousness still printed on your face.

"I wanted in, and I don't know... the way you answered me was...rude!"

Another hiccup sounds from the Lieutenant. Which is followed by a loud groan. "I might throw up."

"Should I get-"

"No." He snaps. "if I do you're cleaning it up. Fucks sake."

You watch as he stands still, rigid in place.

His eyes glance up at the clock. You were cutting it so fucking close. It was literally 30 minutes before the time limit.

But honestly, Ghost doesn't think he can last.

Of course, he'd never tell you that though.

The door behind you opens, and Price pokes his head in.

"Oh- sorry, wasn't aware that..."

A pitiful grimace appears on his face as he sees the state of his lieutenant. "What's this?"

You press your lips together before explaining what you did.

"Crook you didn't-"

"Time was running out-!"

"So you put one of our best out of commission?" He laughs at you.

Simon is still fuming (literally) and is only turning redder than before. The spice is seriously hitting him.

"Well. There's your cure right there, Simon." Price nods to the cup.

Ghost looks at Price as if he was just asked to off himself.

"You think I'll slip that easy?"

"25 minutes. Think you can handle it?"

The three of you stand in place for what feels like minutes but an eternity to Ghost.

He sighs, lifting his mask and grabbing the cool beverage in front of him. With each gulp, he gasps for air in between.

"I don't know how this gets me to lose-" he gasps again, "-but I couldn't give less of a fuck right now."

You grimace in response, looking at Price.

"Am I forgiven?"

"Oh yes, especially since Simon here, technically lost first."

Ghost blinks in confusion. You do the same.

Somehow you just never noticed a tablet in the Captain's hand as he hands it to you.

On the screen it shows Ghost doing a check of each of the mail boxes, seemingly making a pile for certain groups. Soap walks in not long into the video footage, reading one of the packages tearing it open, and pulling out the very cookies that started this mess.

"Oh no."

You watch as Soap rips open the box, and hands one to Ghost, who seemingly asks something before shrugging and taking a bite out of the cookie. Your cookies.

"Oh nooo." You wince out. "Ghost noooo..."

"So, Simon." Price grins, that fatherly grin that has just about anyone feeling like they're in trouble. "When should we leave our paper work?"

AHHHHHHH poor Ghost. Couldn't resist any sweets towards the end.