The content of chapter two is much heavier in examining the story of Iron John and how the tale translates to growing into a man.
In the Iron John story, the King’s son is playing with a golden ball in the courtyard, and it accidentally rolls into Iron John’s cage. The boy approaches the cage, and asks for Iron John to return it to him. Iron John tells him that he will give him the ball back, if he opens the cage. At first, the boy runs away without saying a word. A few days later, the boy approaches the cage and asks again. Iron John presents the same deal to the boy, who again runs away. The third time the boy approaches, he again asks for the ball, and again Iron John presents his deal, the ball in exchange to open the cage.
Different than before, the boy says he doesn’t know where the key to the cage is. Iron John tells him that his mother, the queen, was given the key, and that she hides it under her pillow. The boy steals the key from under his mother’s pillow when she is absent, and opens the cage.
This is the framework of the chapter, in which Bly uses metaphor and comparison to make his point clear. The golden ball, in the case of man, is a wholeness, a radiance, something that reminds us of childhood. The hall is our innocence and naïveté from a young age. Inevitably, all men and women lose their golden ball, and proceed to spend their life trying to get it back.
Bly states that the 50s man from chapter 1 expected women to return the golden ball to them, but that partners, spouses, loved ones, etc, never have the golden ball in their possession. The 60s man searched for their golden ball in sensitivity and nonaggression. Bly states that, for man, no external place to check, as well as most internal, will help them to recover the lost ball.
The golden ball, instead, lies with the Wild Man, who we have surfaced from our inner recesses, but keep caged. Through kindness and gentleness, no man can achieve securing the golden ball. The golden ball can only be achieved by bargaining with the Wild Man and freeing him from his imprisonment.
Bly goes on to discuss the “Wild Man Energy” which is different from the state of machismo. Wild Man Energy, Bly describes, is forceful action taken with resolve. The Wild Man does not oppose civilization, but is not contained by it. The Wild Man, in essence, stands true to his nature and does not conform to expectations laid down by others. The Wild Man also speaks to men purely of the soul, but not something pleasant. Bly describes the Wild Man and the perspective of the soul as dark, wet, and low.
Some men never approach the cage to ask for the golden ball. Some mimic the boy, and approach only to treat multiple times. Bly says that returning to the cage at all to ask again is an accomplishment of its own. Men should take the step to approach the Wild Man and ask for what they desire, but not feel ashamed of they run away.
Bly also informs us that speaking with the Wild Man is speaking with the psyche. The psyche always makes deals and conditions, and he encourages us to create those conditions, as Iron John did in the story to the boy. He gave the example of a lazy man making a deal with his laziness: give me an hour of work, and I will give you an hour to be a slob. This is a better way to create change in your life than, in his example, something of a new years resolution. It takes time to create change, so establish it with conditions or rewards to promote change occurring.
Bly now moves onto the key being in the mother’s possession, specifically under her pillow. Bly discusses briefly the Freudian meaning of the mother’s pillow, which I will not cover because Freud is largely ridiculous. Alternatively, he discusses the pillow as the placeholder of the mother’s expectations and dreams for her son. She dreams he’ll be a doctor, have a happy life, etc etc, and the key to his deep masculine, the thing that separates one from being a boy and a man, is buried under her expectations that have been placed upon one since childhood.
Bly argues that the key must be stolen from the pillow in order to gain the manhood and cross the threshold. Asking nicely for the key will yield no result, and shows an obedience to expectation that tells your Wild Man that you do not yet deserve the key. Bly describes that stealing the key cannot happen with your parents, and must occur in their absence, when all of your parental inhibitions are gone.
Bly tells us there is no right way to steal your key. He knew a man who danced through the night and obtained his key, one who behaved as a trickster knowingly, and one who confronted a deep shame he carried with him about his family headlong. You must discover where your key is hidden, and steal it when you are ready.
Bly ends the chapter by telling us that the boy opens Iron John’s cage, pinching his finger as he does (this allegedly becomes important later) and frees Iron John. And so, too, should man steal their key and release the Wild Man from his prison.
