Iâm never sure if sharing these kinds of posts is the best idea, but I also feel like writing my thoughts down is sometimes the best form of therapy. Well, either that or going for a long run. Sometimes by the end of the writeup, Iâve even figured it out for myself. Sometimes, not. In any case, here goes.
When I last wrote about my professional life, I was in a sour mood. I had just been laid off by a company that just five months earlier, had convinced me to stop supporting them as a 1099 consultant and join the staff full-time. In the months since my departure, the company got sold, which explained the âwhyâ; I was axed because they needed to trim somewhere to be attractive to a buyer. As a senior level proposal manager working on overhead who doesnât come cheap, I was a ripe target for cutting. It happens. Nevertheless, it was chaotic for me because it came totally out of the blue.Â
I quickly looked to get my consulting business going again. After all, it had only been a few months since I had set it aside. I work in the world of government procurement responses, however, and the government was shut down. That meant no RFPs were coming out, and basically there was no work for me. I spent a lot of time on business development and training, and went the entire first quarter of 2019 without a contract.Â
Finally in April, things started to pick up again, albeit slowly. I have had 2 small grant projects which have brought in a little money, but overall the finances are running dry. I need some big projects to come in, soon. I have no shortage of promising leads, but they are all stuck at that final step where the client commits and gives me a contract to sign. Closing the sale has proven very elusive, indeed.
Meanwhile, I have spoken with one company that wants to bring me in full-time, on staff. The conversations have been all very good, and Iâd say the likelihood of a job offer is very high, at least 70%.Â
The question is, do I take it?Â
I still feel burned by what happened at the last company. However, while Iâm encouraged by the quality of leads and consulting client relationships I have recently developed, Iâm also frustrated by the lack of progress in landing some actual contracts. After the lengthy dry spell, Iâm on the ropes financially. Thereâs no question this would provide a badly needed income lifeline. Within a few months, I would surely be financially stable once again.Â
The secure decision would be to just take the job. The place clearly wants me. And I like everyone I met (to be fair, I knew a couple of the people already from prior workplaces).Â
But I wonder how secure any âpermanentâ job really is anymore. And I like the lifestyle of an entrepreneur. I also donât want to give up the emerging grants consulting portfolio that I have built up. Itâs been a slog getting into that space -- I didnât have any of the right relationships at first, but now I have some good ones, plus a track record, so I am making headway. I need to somehow keep building this business, even if itâs on the side. Iâve worked too hard to just drop it. The same is true for a venture that an old colleague of mine and I are trying to launch. We have a potential client...who is âthisâ close. I donât want to cast aside all that effort.  This analysis doesnât even contemplate the other stuff I do for money, i.e., coaching high school cross country and at the run club at Life Time Fairfax. I obviously donât want to drop those either.Â
So thatâs where I am. I will probably be at a fork in the road in next day or two. And when that happens, to paraphrase Yogi Berra, I guess Iâll take it.Â
