#conservadox

I’m a feminist and I follow more Orthodox practices. These are choices I’ve made. That’s it. There’s nothing really to talk about? Some of the gender-separation practices bother me but most don’t. Either way, I can still be a feminist and exist in a world that often separates men and women - especially when it is done in a way that brings value to both. They have different *roles* but their autonomy is respected the same. For those of you who weren’t raised Orthodox, you have such a skewed view of what Orthodox Judaism is. You can be an Orthodox Jewish woman and not cover your hair. You can be an Orthodox Jewish woman and wear pants. All of my female friends that consider themselves Orthodox love being Orthodox. They love their marriages and their children and the homes they’ve built. Many of them work outside of the home. Some don’t. All of them have the choice to do so or not. They all feel they have had complete control over their lives. Many of them also consider themselves feminists. To state that such a thing cannot be true is to show ignorance toward what it means to be an Orthodox woman. Being a feminist is all about choice and about supporting other women. My Orthodox friends know I do not believe in shomer negiah or tzniut and they respect that. I also dress more modestly at shul and around them out of respect. These are choices I make. These are choices my Orthodox friends do not make me feel bad for. These choices don’t make you any less or more of an Orthodox Jew just like they don’t make you any more or any less of a feminist.

I spent the first 26 and a half years of my life as Jennifer. I was not a mom, let alone The Mom. I was not married to The Dad. I was not even Jewish. That’s right. The Jewish Mom spent the majority of her life as a non-practicing Roman Catholic. I actually attended a catholic high school – straight down to the kilt; the kilt that I rolled high enough to make The Mimiyell out the kitchen window…

I spent the first 26 and a half years of my life as Jennifer. I was not a mom, let alone The Mom. I was not married to The Dad. I was not even Jewish. That’s right. The Jewish Mom spent the majority of her life as a non-practicing Roman Catholic. I actually attended a catholic high school – straight down to the kilt; the kilt that I rolled high enough to make The Mimiyell out the kitchen window…

To the shock of some of my friends, Jewish, Messianic, Christian, and non-believing alike, I have adopted a more “conservodox” shabbos routine.

Not only does this estrange me yet even more from the norms of growing up in a dull, WASP suburbia, but it also estranges me a little more from my friends (who are already confused by my conflicting obsessions with theology and the macabre).

You see, while most youth are out seeing movies, partying, hanging out, or spending the night at friends’ houses on Friday nights, I’m usually at home or another like-minded Sabbatarian’s house ushering in the Sabbath for Kabbalat Shabbat. And unless a friend doesn’t mind waking up at 8 am to go to morning Shabbat service, I’m probably not gonna have anyone spending the night. But you see, the social limitations don’t stop there: not only do friends unwilling to spend the night and go to service have to wait till noonish to hang out, they have to know I’m probably not going to be up to going to the mall, or watching TV or a movie, or getting on the computer.

Sounds like a fun time, right?

Oh, and then I get to listen to my Christian friends talk about how “Jesus did away with that on the cross.”

-_-

But the thing is: I love shabbat this way.

The Messianic Jewish Rabbinical Council explains it like this:

“Abraham Joshua Heschel described Shabbat as "a palace in time which we build. It is made of soul, of joy and reticence" (Heschel, The Sabbath, 15). While Shabbat exists whether we observe it or not, our experience of the day depends on how we build that palace in our lives. The habit of avoiding distracting activities and thoughts while actively participating in Shabbat-related activities has the cumulative effect of creating an atmosphere entirely different from the other six days of the week, a time without struggle or worry.”

Shabbat is a palace for G-d, a Sanctuary from the rest of the week. We don’t (or shouldn’t) bring TV, movies, facebook, tumblr, texting, conversation, or other worldly distractions with us when we walk into the sanctuary at our churches and synagogues that we made, so why would we when we walk into His palace that He made?

Instead, it’s a time to go for a walk and marvel in His creation, or devote more time to prayer, study and midrash, or simply fellowship.

As Ruchi Koval, author of “Out of the Ortho-box” puts it, Shabbat is the time to schmooze, snooze, pray, play, eat, treat, read, visit, sing, and/or stroll.

Personal exceptions:

Irish dance competitions are almost always on Saturdays. I personally believe Irish dance is part of G-d’s life plan for me. I’m not even joking. Somewhere in the great scheme of things, my Irish dancing is relevant.

Humanitarianism: when I went to South Africa, I worked on Shabbat helping people. Yeshua healed the sick, the least I can do is help them get clean water. It would’ve been more stressful on my conscience to not help others when I had the opportunity than to not in the name of Shabbat.

Ipods: In his book, “The Sabbath”, Heschel talks about his family gathering around to record player to listen to famous cantors of his time. Ipods are the record players of our time, and modern day worship leaders are the famous cantors of our time. So whenever I do go out for a stroll to look at G-d’s creation, I make sure to turn on some music that edifies Him.

I suggest: Nishmat Shabbat – The United Synagogue for Conservative Judaism, almost anything by Matisyahu, New Light Ruins, Roman and Aliana, Barry and Batya Segal, Paul Wilbur, JesusCulture, Hillsong United, Misty Edwards, and even Dubstep Misty Edwards, if you can find it on YouTube.

 But yeah.