#conri rambles

If you were wondering, the Navient loans just dropped below $50k while I was able to pay them with my PUA and double/triple the payment they were getting from my mom's wage garnishments.

Luckily I qualify for the forgiveness for that $20k and will only have to pay back about $3k over the next three years and the rest goes away.

By the way... this was for the school I got my psych degree from, was on the dean's list every semester after my first year and a half, graduated with honors from and was given a lifetime membership in PsiChi my senior year. When I was accepted I was awarded a 12k a year scholarship which was the highest honor they could give me for graduating top 20 in my HS class. It was.... a little more than half of the tuition a year.

Did I mention I graduated in 2010?

I feel like I want to ralph after that whole thing.

The sooner I sign these papers with my disability lawyers and he gets to work on my case, the better.

They share a lot of the same training philosophies I do; do balanced work and started out with reactive animals. They are expanding and want to make sure that they have trainers for their growing clientelle. They do day school, which I am used to from my training course; private lessons/group classes at night, have trainers from a wide variety of backgrounds including formal programs and people who are self-taught.

They started and are growing a service dog program, are very into making sure that the few dogs that they do board-and-train for this are placed with the right people, but mostly do a "tips and troubleshooting" sort of approach and coach owner/handlers instead of doing cookie cutter style programming.

And they would be ok with Aegon coming with me for the next step (a shadow day) if he can be quiet in a crate/not inturrupt, which he can as long as he can see me. THEY actually SUGGESTED bringing him. It would mean free classes with the pup, oppertunities to continue learning (they said that they pay for conferences their trainers want to go to etc.,) and they already have disabled people working for them in their training program which focuses a lot on psych service dogs (MY WHEELHOUSE!!)

If I get it that would mean I could finally move back to the city. I'd be close to my doctor. I could get independance back. I could do more sports as there is a wider variety of things going on out that way. They said most of the scheduling is 3 days a week for the day training and then 2 nights of classes/individual lessons, whatever I would prefer. AND I have time to find a place to move.

The downside is a. getting out there for the shadow day

b. any gaps in $$ for housing until I get a paycheck.

c. I kinda feel oddly like I'd be leaving my bestie in a lurch, but at the same time I don't feel like I am doing too much to help aside from these few little projects that I keep shelving a bit because of my health lately

I have my AO3 dashboard open in another tab and... Hits: 74869

"White Rabbit" is how close to 75k hits? also I managed to catch it on the magical ending '69'? I could absolutely cry at all the love that this fic has received over the years. From my initial writings of it after binging 3b for probably the 90th time, to the five year absence that I took, to now with my old faves coming back and NEW READERS finding it. I just...

just have no words do describe how much the TW fandom, especially you Sterek horndogs like me, mean to me.

I started White Rabbit as... god literally as stress relief from my stupid-as-hell retail job that literally treated me like worse than shit. Through the trials and tribulations of my first two service dog prospects to FINALLY try and get control in my life and feel healthy and independent again.

There were times when writing was the only reason I woke up in the morning. Was the only reason I did ANYTHING in a day because trying to pretend that I was a normal human being was just too exhausting to even get out of bed on the few days off that I had. It reignited in me not once, but TWICE, the fire and passion that I have had for the escapism that is writing which had been lost to late-capitalist hellscape that is this world so many times.

And to be here, now... I just.

I love you all.

To say that this has brought me new friends and new happiness is the biggest understatement I can make, but there are just no words to really fill the rest of it.

You're all family. I would die for all of you. Any of you. Keep being who you are and never, ever stop.