#concern-trolling

Old fandom? Current fandom? Random one-off? Yep yep yep.

For me, getting a comment on an old fic is like bumping into an old friend and seeing that they're doing well. It's just lovely that this thing I put time and love into is still out there, still being found, and still being enjoyed.

Spotting the Trolls: Expedite and Concern Trolling

TL;DR: Learn to spot and counteract expedite and concern trolling to foster genuine dialogue.

Trolls are everywhere. They’re lurking in comment sections, social media threads, and even in your inbox. But not all trolls are created equal. Some are masters of disguise, using tactics like expedite and concern trolling to derail conversations and sow discord.

Expedite trolling is all about urgency. It’s when someone demands immediate action or answers, often without providing any real context or understanding of the issue. They might say something like, “Why haven’t you fixed this yet?” or “This needs to be done now!” The goal is to create pressure and chaos, not to contribute constructively. Just last week, a minor uproar erupted over a delayed software update, with expedite trolls fanning the flames by demanding impossible timelines.

Concern trolling, on the other hand, is more insidious. It’s when someone pretends to be on your side, expressing fake concern to undermine your position. They might say, “I’m just worried about how this will affect your reputation,” or “I support you, but have you considered how this looks?” The aim is to plant seeds of doubt and insecurity.

Here’s how to spot these tactics:

Check the urgency: Is the demand for immediate action reasonable, or is it just creating unnecessary pressure?

Examine the concern: Is the concern genuine, or does it seem like a veiled attempt to undermine?

Look for patterns: Are these comments part of a larger pattern of disruption or negativity?

By recognizing these tactics, you can counteract them effectively. Respond with calm, reasoned arguments, and don’t be afraid to call out bad-faith behavior when you see it. Remember, fostering genuine dialogue is key to a strong, free society.

The Halcyon Days of Concern Trolling

TL;DR: Concern trolling masquerades as genuine worry but aims to undermine rather than support.

Ah, the halcyon days of the internet, where every comment section is a bastion of goodwill and sincerity. Or not. Concern trolling is the art of pretending to be worried about an issue while actually trying to derail or undermine it. It’s like offering someone a hand only to pull it away at the last second.

In recent news, a minor uproar occurred when a local council decided to plant more trees in urban areas. A noble cause, right? Enter the concern trolls, who suddenly became experts in urban planning, worried about the “potential” for increased pollen allergies. Their real aim? To halt progress under the guise of caring.

So, how do you spot these wolves in sheep’s clothing? Here are a few telltale signs:

Exaggerated Concern: They often express over-the-top worry about a minor issue, making it seem like a deal-breaker.

Lack of Solutions: Genuine criticism usually comes with suggestions for improvement. Concern trolls rarely offer constructive feedback.

Shifting Goalposts: When one concern is addressed, they quickly find another, never satisfied with any resolution.

Next time you encounter a supposed well-wisher, ask yourself: Are they offering solutions, or just problems? Are they open to dialogue, or do they just want to argue? Recognizing these patterns can help you engage more effectively online and protect your mental energy.

For the entirety of the first trimester, it was her periodically bringing up in conversation how her old OB (who had retired by the time she actually had me, but whom she saw afterward in some context) told her that she would have ended up having a C-section regardless of other circumstances because her hips were so narrow.

This, of course, is total bullshit.  There is no correlation between hip measurement and C-section rate, or even difficulty of labor.  Whether her doctor was just misinformed or lying to make her feel better, I have no idea, but my mother had a C-section because they induced her and probably gave her a relatively early epidural, and labor did not progress and then I developed a fever (possibly because of the epidural; possibly because of fetal monitoring).

Last night she called me and asked, five minutes into the conversation, if my doctor thought I would be "able to have a normal vaginal delivery."  I said there was certainly no reason to think otherwise, just waiting for the goddamn hip measurement thing to come up again, but she surprised me by instead going on about how she was "prone to big babies, so that will probably be an issue."

I WEIGHED EIGHT POUNDS.  MY MIDDLE SISTER WEIGHED EIGHT POUNDS, TWO OUNCES.

The average newborn is seven and a half pounds.  There is an association between babies over eight and a half pounds and "difficult labor," but not C-section.  And anyway, eight pounds is NOT "BIG."

My youngest sister did weigh slightly over nine.  That is somewhat big.  But that's one out of three, and not a first pregnancy (first babies tend to be smaller).

  Excerpt:

Then, every time I used the damned thing, it wanted me to “weigh in.” The game reminded me that it had been “X” number of days since I had used it, and even though you don't have to set a target weight goal, there it was; the option to set myself up to fall off the edge of progress gained. I just didn't need a creepy personal trainer fat-shaming me on top of losing my job, my declining mobility issues, and an increasing relapse into body hatred.

Eventually, I couldn't use it. There were days I wanted to, but I would nearly have a panic attack at the thought of taking it out. I couldn't use the Wii Sports anymore, and I haven't used it again in a really long time.

What could have been a really positive experience for me, something the video game industry was trying to push, turned into a negative, fat-shaming, concern-trolling nightmare.