#completed commission

     The tall red man who’d been so sarcastic, puffing on a cigar as you’d stared wide eyed in horror after watching him obliterate a… thing, was watching you talk with the kind man who was telling you to call him Broom, just Broom. Well you couldn’t do that, and it seemed to both please and amuse him, taking you to the large wall of water to introduce you to the reason for your assignment. A few awkward moments was all it took to become fast friends, most of them on your part. Who held out their hand to shake to someone sequestered behind glass?

     You did, but he hadn’t taken it personal, instead laying a hand against the glass and lightly tapping it, and you did the same in return. Your smile had been genuine, and his delight the same. Occasionally, Big Red, Hellboy, would come to the library with beers to chat with him. Not while you were there, he seemed to be avoiding you, but the smell of his cigars lingered in the air with something else, empty beer cans on the antique desk half crushed.

     Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but mystery makes it curious. An absolute bastardization of the quote, and not even something you’d come up with. That had been your new friend who was on probation Abe. He’d been very amused by your feigned outrage, when you’d looked up from the dirty desk. Apparently you’d look slightly put out about not getting to be involved in the hangout. What made it worse was that you couldn’t even pretend that you hadn’t been trying to either land an invite, or still be there when he came around. 

     He was funny, you’d heard him talking with a few of the agents as he made his way to the truck. And he had a ton of cats, all of which were healthy and cute, so obviously he could not be a bad guy. Animals in general had really good instincts, and you trusted that more than anything else. So maybe you started hanging around late at night, because you couldn’t sleep. And maybe you found reasons to go talk with inventory as they were restocking the truck hoping that he might come around. 

     Considering the cramped quarters kept, it shouldn’t be that hard to run into him, but it was almost like he knew that you were headed that way. A radar if you will, and it was a little… frustrating. Which you did not complain about to Abe, but he knew. And worse he knew that you knew that he- Ugh. After a while you just gave up trying and stuck to the task at hand, which was being there to help Abe read, occasionally crack open the egg jar for him. 

     Flipping through the books, you managed to find one that you knew he hadn’t read, turning to hold it up triumphantly only to run face first into someone. The smell of cigar smoke and something spicy tickling your nose let you know who it was before you’d properly processed. Yet another thing, stumbling back and almost falling over your own feet, catching a brief glimpse of wide eyes before he caught and tugged too hard slamming you right back into his chest. 

“Shit.’

     Nose aching, you stepped back more carefully only to come to an abrupt stop as he was still holding your arm. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough that going anywhere was not an option. Given the way he was staring over your shoulder you couldn’t be sure that he’d even noticed he was still holding on. Verified when he yanked his hand back as if he’d been burned, but you knew he was fire proof, and you were not that hot. 

“I didn’t mea- I just-’ You heard his teeth click as he shut his mouth abruptly, forcibly stopping himself from speaking before looking a little too… “I thought you heard me come in.’

     A minute head shake, wanting to put the new book on the podium for Abe, but also not wanting to be rude. Especially because you’d finally managed to catch him. Well, technically he’d caught you, tucking the book behind you as you managed to offer a smile. The one you got in return made your heart trip, breaking eye contact because it was just a bit too much all at once. Who allowed demons to have dimples? That wasn’t fair. 

“I was uh…’ He shifted back, and you were proud of yourself for not closing that distance again, because you’d wanted to. “I told Abe that I’d be by in case he wanted to play poker instead of reading those boring books of his.’ 

     When you only nodded, he cleared his throat, shoulders rolling before looking over at Abe. Who was just watching, which was not odd, but the way his hand was flattened to the glass was. A little invasive considering his capabilities, feeling your entire body warm at the thought of what he was picking up on, but still very odd. He usually attempted to ask things instead of just gathering the information he sought, though there were slip ups. This was blatant.

“Not that it’s all that fun when he can sense when I’m trying to bluff.’ 

“I do attempt not to do so.’ Abe defended himself, blinking as his gills fluttered in irritation. “You broadcast loudly, we’ve spoken ab-’

“Yeah, yeah.’ Watching his arms cross, you grinned as he leaned down, briefly lifting his hand to hide his lips. “He thinks it’s not cheating but it definitely still is.’

“I do not cheat!’

     You did try not to laugh, really you did. Abe was your friend. But the outrage was clear even through the warbly note of his voice coming through water and glass. Humor shifted to confusion hearing some of the books fall from the shelf, and seeing the very carefully blank expression. Before you could ask a question there was a sharp pain on your ankle, then calf before you could even look down. When you did you were greeted by a very determined kitten clawing its way up your leg, your attempts to pick it up stymied by its claws embedding themselves. 

“Hey, that wasn’t the plan.’ Plan? “You’re early.’

     A thunk against glass shifted your attention to Abe, whose eyes were closed before pushing off the glass and further into the reservoir. The kitten yowled at you as you tugged again, holding the book out to Hellboy in order to be able to use both hands. Last thing you wanted was to hurt it, managing to untangle it to cuddle close to your chest. Except it wasn’t happy there, squirming in an attempt to get loose, little paws digging in as it tried to pry itself loose. 

“I knew I should have asked Chili instead of you.’ Hellboy muttered, attempting to capture the cat currently trying to shove what felt like its entire head into your ear canal. 

“Who’s Chili?’ You winced as claws scraped your ear, and the loud yowl of protest as it attempted to maintain its precariously claimed perch. Wait was he asking you to dinner?

“She’s his sister, but she was asleep and he was climbing all over things.’ Not dinner, briefly disappointed before realizing he’d named a cat Chili. If her brother’s name wasn’t Frito, or Cheese, you were going to be very disappointed. “Queso was supposed to be worn out by now and curled up looking cute.’

     Perfect.

“I don’t think Queso knows how to be tired.’ You pointed out as the kitten twisted and kicked in his hold, gnawing on his thumb with all the ferocity he could muster.

“Yeah well, Con is missing. I’ll find her I’m sure, but I’d have felt bad waking Chili.’ He hissed at a particularly harsh bite from the kitten. “Though I wish I had, stop biting me you little-’

     Chili. Con. Queso. It was so stupid… lifting your hand to cough in order to hide your smile. He had to be joking, that couldn’t be real, except he was holding the kitten, scruffed and glaring into the now docile bundle of fur’s face. 

“So… When was he supposed to pop up?’

     His mouth opened to answer, then snapped expression shifting as the glare he’d been leveling at the cat edged in panic. … What was the kitten early for? What was the kitten supposed to have been doing? You had a ton of questions, and given the way he was now discussing what punishment fit the crime with the kitten you were not going to be getting an answer. Before you could try to ask again Abe appeared in the door, still adjusting the breathing collar. 

“Everything okay?’

“I feel as if I should be asking that.’ 

     Blink. Now what did that mean? But he was moving towards a book shelf and tugging at a book insistently. Instead of coming off the shelf, the whole set swung off the shelf showing a compartment inside. You had not been informed that was there, moving to get a better look inside, you were disappointed when it closed with a click before you could. Was this their secret stash from Mr. Broom?

     Did that mean you were obligated to tell him, eyeing the deck of cards and small bag you assumed held poker chips. The scrape of chair legs, and the feel of something lightly bumping into the back of your knees, almost made you fall. A brief glimpse of Hellboy’s tail explained it even as you plopped down with a surprised grunt. That was really nice of him, smiling to yourself as you scooted closer to the research table that was emptier than it had been a moment ago. 

     In the paper and books place were several cans of beer and a jar of Abe’s eggs. A soft crinkling noise preceded several rolled bags of chips, clearly brought from his room. As well as a kitten set with a snort of amusement. 

“Found Con.’

“Hi Con.’ You cooed, bending down to rest your chin on the table, watching the kitten squint eyed inspect its surroundings before waddling to head butt your nose. “Still tired?’

     The wet nose kisses made you laugh, feeling her work her way under your chin before making an attempt to crawl inside your shirt. Apparently Con was still sleepy, and after being evicted from Hellboy’s coat pocket was looking for a new place to sleep. When you looked up to remark on it, your eyes met the demon who was staring intently before his head snapped aside to ask Abe if he was dealing first. 

     You forgot you were supposed to be stopping a kitten from crawling down your shirt until that cold nose skimmed the skin far lower than it should be. The yelp you let out earned you a snort from Hellboy, that he pretended hadn’t happened, caging Queso in his stone hand as he cracked open a beer with the other. The sound of it sliding over the table top made you smile, still attempting to excavate the kitten, before your mind placed the sound to action. 

     Two hands full of kitten who was surprisingly squirmy for being so “tired” meant by the time your mind translated the sound you could only look up and watch as it slid towards you, to you, past you, to fall off the table with a crack of aluminum against hardwood. Frozen, you looked back to Hellboy whose mouth was slack, before standing in a rush to try and clean the mess. Which released the kitten who fell down the front of you under the shirt, claws frantically seeking purchase. 

     Catching it low, teeth grit as claws clung to the minimal purchase their claws had found in fabric and skin, you tried to soothe the small bundle under your shirt. Tongue lightly clicking as you tried to think of how to clean up the beer once Abe had delicately plucked the can from the floor, you watched something black sail past your face. Foot dragging it towards the mess, you worked Con loose while mopping with the familiar looking fabric. 

“Here.’ 

     Shifting Con to one hand, Queso was shoved into the other, both pinned to your stomach as you stepped back to make room for the body gently shoving you aside. Then took a couple more as you stared at the broad expanse of Hellboy’s back as he squatted down to chase a trickle you’d missed. Head lifting slowly to look at Abe you could see his exasperation, pushing the jar aside to grab a beer. Which said more than any words or tone could have managed. 

     You shouldn’t stare, really it was just rude, but it was hard to look away as the muscle shifted. And then there was the twitch at his lower back as his tail moved, which was a whole different interesting. Tucking the kittens on either side of your neck, you stepped back again as he stood, shirt balled and cupped in his hand looking for somewhere to put it. So much effort went into not making a sound when he finally sighed and dropped it into a trash can, turning your face to hide it in Con’s fur. 

     Wordlessly Abe slid him his beer as he sat, and you held out Con who was by far the more well behaved of the two. Your stomach itching like crazy notwithstanding, you would also have panicked if you’d gone from secured to free fall. At the very least all the excitement had worn Queso out who now lay draped across your thigh, belly up and paws reaching for no one knew what. Occasionally reaching down to lightly massage his belly until he rolled over to deny you access with the cutest grumble you’d ever heard. 

“You should clean those wounds to avoid infection.’ Abe said after taking the pot again, Hellboy taking his half finished beer with a nod. 

“I have a kit in my room,’ before you could point out there was one here in the library, Abe flicked the tip of your fingers with his own. “I didn’t realize they’d be so rowdy, the least I can do is help patch you up.’

     Sending a quizzical look towards Abe who was already cleaning off the table, he jerked his head in Hellboy’s direction and you trotted to catch up to him. It was later than you’d realized, the hallway emptier than you’d ever seen it. A bit eerie, kissing the top of Queso’s head as he fidgeted to quiet him, entering his room before you’d realized that you had. 

     His hand caught your elbow to stop you from knocking over a pile of- Well you weren’t actually sure what that was, having gotten immediately distracted by the sheer amount of fur that had come towards you in a meowing tide. You’d heard he liked cats, not that he was obsessed, watching as he tossed his coat towards the bed before rummaging on a surface to find the kit. Did the government grants not cover maids?

“I didn’t plan on you getting all scratched up like that.’ Flipping the kit open, not that you’d seen where he’d magically located it, he motioned to your shirt. “Up, please.’

“Wait, what do you mean “plan”? And why was Queso early?’

     He was quiet so long you thought he wasn’t going to answer, using a disinfectant wipe to clean the scratches. But as he was smearing the ointment he sighed, head turning briefly to scowl at the siblings all curled up on his jacket. 

“Queso was supposed to nap in the library, and then later you were supposed to find him because he was being a brat. Which as you can see he excels at.’ You nodded, though he was very obviously not looking up at you. “And then you were gonna bring him back, and we’d talk, and you’d think he was so cute you wouldn’t think about how I look.’

“I like the way you look.’

“Then I was gonna ask you ou-’ His face lifted to look at you so quickly your neck twinged in sympathy. “What’s that?’

“Okay.’

“No, wait the other thing.’ Standing now, an uncertain smile on his lips, he tugged your shirt down over the bandaged scratches. “Doesn’t matter. You wanna go on a date with me?’

“I, uh, yeah.’ The proximity along with that shy smile just fucked you up. “Where were you thinking?’

“.... I didn’t think I’d get this far actually, gimme a minute.’ The laugh that startled out of you broadened the smile into a grin. “To be fair my plan fell apart like right away.’

tips are appreciated as i'm currently out of work, feel free to use the links below! kofi / patreon || cashapp || paypal