#complete trust

So, I've been thinking about this scene alot. When I first saw Endgame the first five times (don't judge me), it completely went over my head the fact that Tony said "We lost and you weren't there" to Steve. Like, the implications and meaning of this went right over me because Steve was there. He was on Earth with the entire team. Tony was the one who wasn't there.

So, then, I think-- maybe this isn't about the avengers. Maybe this had nothing to do with the team. This was about them- steve and tony. Maybe this was about the fact that Tony was in a major battle, lost, and Cap wasn't there.

Now, that may sound slightly ridiculous, but note: Cap didn't defend himself. He didn't even try to point out that he'd kept his promise about "[if we lose] we'll do that together, too" because he'd lost alongside the entire team sans Tony. No, he stayed quiet because he felt guilty. Because he hadn't kept his promise--the sentiment and intention in the promise which was that if they lost then they [steve and tony] would do that together.

It was never about the avengers, and always about Steve and Tony being there for each other. It was about the unbreakable bond that they shared that despite the shitshow that went down in Civil War, Steve still sent him that letter saying "if you need me, I'll be there". But Tony had needed him on Titan and Steve wasn't there.

With this in mind, his attack on Steve, which before this realization seemed uncalled for and out of the blue, makes so much more sense. Imagine Tony on Titan with this irrational hope that Steve will appear because he's losing and Steve said if he ever needed him he'd be there, and that if they lost they'd do that together too, but regardless of how badly he's getting his ass kicked there's no Steve. Imagine Tony, after Peter's disappeared, devastated, just waiting for Steve until the realization comes that steve's not coming. He broke his promise. Their bond.

Liar.

Now, Imagine Steve understanding all this, and feeling the weight of his promise being thrown back at him. Proud and honorable Cap crushed by the weight of his own failure--not to the universe, but to Tony. Crushed by the broken trust between them that Steve would always be by his side when shit hit the fan.

No trust. Liar.

Now, think back to the fact that they, somehow rebuilt all that through Tony's death-- because in both of their greatest battle, Steve was right there. Ready to lose by Tony's side.

And despite the fact that they accomplished the mission, literally saved the universe, Tony lost [his life], and Steve kept his promise finally because they did that together too.

“The night before Peter was to be placed on trial, he was asleep, fastened with two chains between two soldiers. Others stood guard at the prison gate. Suddenly, there was a bright light in the cell, and an angel of the Lord stood before Peter. The angel struck him on the side to awaken him and said, ‘Quick! Get up!’ And the chains fell off his wrists.” — Acts 12:6-7 One of the most remarkable…

*Gasp* You're inviting ME?

Oh ABSOLUTELY, you WILL be seeing me there :)

“Complete Trust” The more time I try to understand God’s ways completely, the less time I have to enjoy and experience the goodness of His presence. Complete trust is when we understand that we “DO NOT” have to understand precisely how God works to trust Him. To trust fully in God means to rely entirely on Him in all aspects of your life, believing in His character, wisdom, love, and promises,…