Community Pressure Has Led To Failing Marriages
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Community Pressure Has Led To Failing Marriages
Hi;
The month of December sometimes is so harsh for single people.
I once avoided going to the village because the villagers were never getting tired of asking me why I am not married. I was just 26 years and they were treating me like am too old! Well, some of my village mates were already married, one guy got married at 19 and had three children by the time he was 25!
A girl I knew began getting children at 14 and by the time she was 26 (we are age mates) she had 5 children! (Single mother).
Another close friend had just done a church wedding at 25, and at 26, he had a child. (They later got divorced leaving me with questions.)
Guys of my age and above who were still single had to endure numerous questions from village elders. One woman even literally offered to seduce her daughter for me if I had no lines to seduce a woman.
They simply could not understand why at 26, I was still single despite having a stable job. Some even would tell me a woman comes with her blessings and I should get married and see how blessed I will get.
(They were not even quoting the number of men who had married and dumped their wives at that young age!) The villages are harsh for single people around December, I think it is why so many single people, both men and women, opt not to go to the village during December holidays to avoid these numerous questions on why they are still single.
I once saw a girl who was 28 get excluded in a family gathering for being single! Others shamelessly borrow you money and when you tell them you have your plans they shamelessly say “But huna watoto, pesa una peleka wapi?” Some villagers can be so annoying to single people.
This is why of late people are hiring someone to go and lie to the villagers and sometimes parents that they are married!
Proposal rejection when a happy man asks in marriage to a woman on the beach. Image/Courtesy.
Simple Advice;
You might be slightly right,but hey we are past that era. I don’t know if it still exists. My reasons among others
1. Finances Our generation unlike our ancestors, are broke and times have changed. Most people are not In a hurry to get married or marry cause of financial constraints, what will I feed my family? How will I take care of my family when needs arise? Some are taking care of the immediate family and starting their own families will mean more burden.
2. The not so serious generation We are a lost generation, hype and everything is our order of the day. Nobody ever is thinking about getting married and settling Most are living for the day by the day, booze,ladies, sponsors, and many other forms of hype.
3. Who? The other question is who will I settle with? Ever looked at your friends and wondered will they ever settle down?
4. Fear. The fear of the unknown that awaits marriage life, nobody is willing to let their habits drop for a different life Some are afraid of finances as stated earlier Some afraid of making the wrong choices Fear of so many things.
If you live your life depended on peoples opinions, you will suffer imagined and unrealistic insecurities. Do you!
All the best.
