Harms Way's "Common Suffering" is more than just an experimentation.
It's a powerful, hardcore-fueled, and emotionally electrifying album with a hidden message left to be deciphered by its listener. Whomever seeks to find the conventional approach to what they've done in the past could be easily disillusioned with this one, but if you dig deeper, you may find a masterpiece. It asks the listener:
"Do you know what real suffering feels like?"
This album suggests a deep exploration of the five stages of grief:
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
But what is most fascinating is that, it is much more closer to the true expression of how these stages are experienced in humanity. It is not cohesive, but rather confused and abstract. It speaks about a heart finding out that it has been betrayed. The realization that the truth we believed and trusted is no longer there, and so the journey of transcendence begins.
The hurt ego begins with trying to maintain itself afloat with -
- "Degrade, we're born to decay" - "Decline, they will let you down" -
As the feelings and thoughts begin to affect our consciousness by circulating into a downward spiral, it then speaks with -
- "I am in denial, I will never be free again" - "I have no sense of self" - "I can't forgive me, another victim in denial" -
but the sword of deceit has already been plunged into the heart, perforating deeply - so deeply, it emerges all the way to the back. The sharpness of the pain, the burning sensation felt all over the body, and the mind finds itself in a state of shock. The blood pours out from the mouth and circulates all the way up into the brain. We suddenly become blinded by rage.
The anger. The endless anger.
- "I can't live this way, live your way. I can't love like you do." - "Commitment, Illusion, you can't console" - "A selfish force, so cruel, a destructive scheme" - "You take my soul from me and I feel betrayed" - "A broken promise, the hate infests" - "You feel your life erode, it's all for nothing" - "I watched you betray me, I want you to fear me" - "Before they terrorize you, watch them bleed in front of you" -
It is anger sinking you deeper into the abyss, seeking for the ultimate destruction of the lie you lived. It is wanting to skin yourself alive to erode every false touch, hope, and empty promise given to you. Desolation, and despair. Feeling so many violent currents, you no longer can decipher what is real. Worthlessness.
Bargaining with faith, asking the question:
Is this really my destiny? Am I still a man or have I become an empty shell?
- "(Help me)" - "I remember (When will it end?)" - "Devour me" - "Why do we exist?" -
Only to find the door slammed shut, locked deep inside memories that can no longer be experienced nor lived in no matter how hard we try to pry it open, leading us straight into the meaningless of our existence - The Void. Depression, forcing us to meet face to face with the ultimate darkness, our shadow selves. The endless monologues, paranoia, neurosis - the inability to feel anything but pure emptiness:
- "Fade away" - "Looking for seclusion" - "I forever am alone (dying inside)" - "Cornered alone, wounded and vulnerable" - "The years await, to fill the void" - "It's all for nothing, erase my future" - "I lay still, tomorrow I dread" - "The nervous system stalls, you cripple and start to fall" - "I blame myself and I corrode, and I surround myself with what I loathe" - "A sad delusion, I confess" - "I faced God, I was turned inside, It's back to hell, and I'm here to stay" -
The process of isolation. Not having the emotional currency needed to see hope. The endless shades of grey. The endless grief, corrupted by loneliness. Numbness. The "Cyanide" poisoning the heart, obliterating every feeling of hope. Using the last remaining dose of courage to grab the sword by the blade to remove it once and for all, for the suffering has been too great to continue tolerating - the endless bleeding, the ultimate sacrifice of love. Years go by and the wound ceases to bleed, yet it remains open. It then makes us question:
Do we choose to remain or do we choose to cease?
"The affection I feel, impaired. Relations turn to despair. As I cower to my knees, they empower" - "Never let them take control" - "I will always seek power" -
And through the solitude, isolation, we begin to understand the nuances of the betrayal and it's meaning. We begin to understand that this pain and suffering, is a new source of power being gifted to us. Through the path of hell, we meet our creator - ourselves, and by looking at it straight into the eyes of the abyss, we begin to accept our fate. We become acquainted with expansion in our consciousness through our common suffering. We accept our anger and the injustice made onto us:
- "And I looked into the eyes of a demon and I saw myself" - "The calm sets in, at peace this time" - "I'm free at last" - "The darkest past, no longer see beneath the surface" - "Sink to peace" -
It then culminates with a song called "Wanderer":
- "To wander beyond the sunset
To sail above the seabed
To wander behind the sand glass
To reach the past of me
As I'm wandering, I'll be searching through - "
The search for a new meaning. A new sense of self. A life beyond deception and hatredness. The search for the new truth.
As mentioned at the beginning, these messages are found scattered throughout the story-line, which brings a lot of confusing thoughts to what exactly is the message that is being conveyed. But that is the beauty of grief - the imbalance of emotions and thoughts, the constant ups and downs, the health within sickness - we can all experience these torments in just a day. The combination of this lyrics, alongside the heaviness and the metallic abstraction of the sounds, brings out feelings rooted within the subconscious that feel foreign, and almost terrifying. It invites the listener to open up their heart and feel the fear.
I couldn't bear to listen to this album after the first time I did - for it triggered feelings I didn't wish to re-live again. But I took the plunge and allowed myself to go alongside the journey of pain - a journey that by now, I know very well. I came to understand that I am not completely alone in this world - someone out there experienced the same feelings I have experienced, and meticulously put into words the things I have always wished to express but never could. This band already had an immense sentimental value to me - it reminds me of a life I thought I would live forever. But as I went through it's journey, in the end - all I truly found was hope and acceptance.
Acceptance of what is long gone and no longer will be. Acceptance that I am also the wanderer, searching through - for the truth.
The ultimate truth that can only be found through common suffering.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
