#collinsport

You took a deep breath as you waited for the person to open the doors you just knocked on. You closed your eyes along with the breath and started counting how long would it take her to arrive to the doors.

The doors opened and you looked up at the woman. She had her typical red hair falling next to her face and covering her ears. When you saw that she had her glasses on, you knew that she was ready to have a session with you.

“Hello Y/n, come in,” the doctor you have been talking to, or trying to talk to for three months by now said. You just nodded your head and listened to her, waiting for Julia to step aside. As she did so, you walked inside of her office and waited.

The sound of that Julia closed the doors was the sound you were a little afraid of. Because that meant she wanted to talk to you about your problems you really didn´t want to share with anyone. But since you have already started with the sessions and Julia knew a little more about you than you were comfortable with, you didn´t care anymore.

“So… you wanted to talk to me,” Julia started as she walked closer so you could see her. She sat onto the couch which was opposite to the one you were sat on and you took a deep breath.

“Yeah I wanted to,” you admitted and started playing with your fingers. The long sleeve you were wearing made the wounds feel even more sensitive than they really felt.

“What about?” Julia asked you and she pulled out your papers. You looked down at them realizing that the stock which was yours was pretty thick.

“You said… you said whenever I’ll be ready,” you reminded the doctor of her own words and Julia blinked few times. She put aside the papers and put something onto the table in front of you.

“Do you mind if I make a voice recording of this?” She asked you and looked at you with those deep brown eyes. You shook your head and weren’t even scared of that Julia could make your mother listen to that. You shook your head and Julia put down her phone, recording. “How have you been feeling lately?”

“I…” you wanted to start but you didn’t know how. There was nothing what you felt. “I don’t really know. I don’t think I felt anything lately.”

“Not even a little joy? Or sadness?” Julia asked you and she placed her elbows onto her thighs, supporting her chin with her hands.

“I don’t think there is a point in anyone’s life,” you said and when you met Julia’s surprised face expression, you looked back at the floor, playing with your sleeve. “You know. You literally come here to die. You help the others and then the others die and you die too. It’s just the same cycle around and around,” you said and pulled your sleeve a little lower, realizing how your hands were sweating.

“You don’t think there is a point in your life? You don’t want to do anything? Have a husband? A child?”

“No,” you answered Julia clearly and looked up at her. “What for? I can’t even care for myself right now, i won’t be able to care for two or more other people,” you said a little annoyed. You wiped your sweaty hands in your clothes, not thinking before you did so. The only one movement you did, hurt. And even if you didn’t want to show it in your face, you were sure your breathing would tell.

“How can you say so? What if things change?” Julia asked you, writing something down and her eyes sliding down onto your sleeves, what you didn’t realize.

“I don’t want it right now and i can’t imagine myself having a family,” you told her and Julia nodded her head. With this, she made you feel something else you felt before. She… understood you? Agreed with you? You had no idea.

“I understand that,” Julia said and she put aside her papers. She made herself more comfortable in her chair and she leant onto one of the armrests, crossing her legs. “Now Y/n… have you been feeling any pressure lately? Or any kind of stress situation or…”

“Why?” You asked back immediately, making Julia smile a little.

“Just a random question,” she shook your question off and you started thinking about it.

“I don’t think I have… maybe just that I feel like- uhm-“

“Yeah?”

“I feel like I’m no one here,” you said more quietly than before and sighed.

“How so?” Julia asked you back and you didn’t even know how but you found yourself answering her question.

“No one cares. No one asks me what my problem is, how my day was. I have no one to talk to here. It just sucks,” you shrugged and avoided to look at her. You felt her eyes burning on your skin and you rubbed your forearms, using a little more pressure than you used to, because of the stress. As a reaction to the pain which exploded on the place you rubbed your arm you hissed loudly. “Fuck.”

“What’s under there,” Julia asked you clearly and you took a deep breath. You knew that you had to prepare some argument. And is you wouldn’t show her more, you could say you just accidentally burned yourself while helping Willie.

“It’s just- I was helping Willie this morning with the lunch,” you said honestly and Julia looked at you. You knew that she didn’t believe you.

“Can I see?”

Fuck

You nodded your head and pulled your sleeve up, just to the first burning mark on your arm. Julia sighed. She knew that this burning mark wasn’t from a pan.

“Take off your shirt please,” Julia said and stood up. She walked over to her cupboards and opened some of them. You didn’t know what was she up to, but when you saw her taking some disinfectant you knew that there was no way of lying to her anymore. You didn’t have to. She already knew.

You really slowly took your shirt off. Being really careful around the burning marks, which were… everywhere, you didn’t let out a sound as you took your shirt off.

Julia turned around, her eyes on the disinfection. You started shaking your leg a little and closed your eyes. You were scared of the moment she would see your body with all of those wounds.

Avoiding the eye contact, you realized that she stopped closed to you. When she was standing just few inches away, you knew that she had already seen your body, but you were still somehow scared.

She didn´t start talking. Or asking you any questions. She just gently took out one tampon and started cleaning the wounds on your body.

It hurt a little, but you didn´t let her know. Julia cleaned your body and you were just looking down at her hands, until she wasn´t done. Once she was, she put the disinffection away and walked to the cupboard. You didn´t know what else she was up to, but when she didn´t bring anything else with herself back to the couch, you breathed out in relief.

“Why did you do that?” Julia asked you after few minutes of silence and you swallowed. She walked back to the couch and sat down opposite to you.

“Don´t know,” you said quietly.

Julia just sighed and then she stopped recording your talk. With her eyes on you, she waited for an answer and you knew that she had nothing to show anyone anymore.

“Needed to feel some pain,” you admitted and tried to not cry. Julia nodded her head and swallowed, what you could see.

“How often do you deal with toughts like this?”

“Once or twice a week,” you said.

“Would you like to have sessions? For example once in two weeks?” Julia offered you and you took a deep breath. That meant everyone under that roof would know that you have some problem.

“Can it stay between us?” You asked with a little hope in your voice. And you knew that if Julia wanted some patient, she had to promise you.

“Of course,” she said and then you nodded your head.

Episode Guides

Culture Crypt

Dark Shadows Before I Die [Search within site]

Dark Shadows Every Day

Dark Shadows From the Beginning [Search within site]

Robservations

The Dark Shadows Episode Guide [Search within site]

Architecture

Historic Homes & Structures of 1700 to 1800, from Virtual Norfolk

John Proctor House from Salem Witch Museum

Palmer House Architectural Report, Block 9 Building 24 Lot 27

Vernacular House Forms in Seventeenth Century Plymouth Colony An Analysis of Evidence from the Plymouth Colony Room-by-Room Probate Inventories, 1633-1685 © 1998-2001 Copyright and All Rights Reserved. by Patricia Scott Deetz and James Deetz University of Virginia, 1998 at The Plymouth Colony Archive Project

Walking Tour, from Virtual Norfolk

WELCOME TO THE PAUL REVERE HOUSE from Paulreverehouse.org

Botany and Medicine

BOTANICAL BOOKS OF THE SEVENTEENTH AND EIGHTEENTH CENTURIES by Jutta Buck with Cynthia Rice

FLORA AND FEMININITY: GENDER AND BOTANY IN EARLY AMERICA Susan Branson

Historical Sketch of the Science of Botany in North America from 1635 to 1840 Author(s): Frederick Brendel

Josephi Pitton Tournefort … Institutiones rei herbariæ

The useful family herbal: or, An account of all those English plants, which are remarkable for their virtues and of the drugs which are produced by vegetables of other countries. With their descriptions, and their uses, as proved by experience. Illustrated with figures of the most useful English plants. With an introduction … and an appendix By Hill, John, 1714?-1775

Treasures from the Herbaria: Morison’s Historia Plantarum Universalis Oxoniensis 8 March 2017 Stephen Harris

Caribbean, The

From Paradise to Plantation: Environmental Change in 17th Century Barbados by Ainsley Cray

Childhood

A Salon Guest... Toys and Games of the Long 18th Century by Catherine Curzon

Children, from The Regency Townhouse

Children's Games in the 18th Century CYNTHIA SMITH

Children's Underwear in Regency England from Janeauston.co

Growing Up in Colonial New England (Adventures in Interdisciplinary Land, 6) Posted on June 15, 2014 by georgelamplugh

Life in the Regency Era Nursery by Maria Grace

Social and Family Life in the Late17th & Early 18th Centuries from British Literature Wiki

Regency Servants ~ Caring for the Wee Ones, by Sharon Lathan

The Dying Child in Seventeenth-Century England Hannah Newton, PhD

The Georgian guide to perfect parenting

What was everyday life like for women and children on a colonial Virginia farm?

Communication and Travel

Historical account of the most celebrated voyages, travels, and discoveries [electronic resource] : from the time of Columbus to the present period / by William Mavor, LL.D. - something about inns

The Colonial Post-Office Author(s): William Smith

The Early American Postal System at ConstitutionFacts.com

Dogs

"18th Century Dog names" from Of Sorts for Provincials

Drunkard, Merryboy, Younker. Some 17th-Century Names for Dogs. By Rebecca Onion

Fishing Industry and Maritime Topics

3. BUILDING A GOOD FISHING SHELTER OR LANDING from fao.org

The Fishing Ports of Maine and New Hampshire: 1978, Report to the National Science Foundation, Volume I, by Acheson, Acheson, Bort, and Lello

Food

Colonial America & 17th/18th century France, from Food Timeline

MEAT PREPARATION AND PRESERVATION IN COLONIAL AMERICA* D. M. KINSMAN University of Connecticut

Gypsies

HISTORICAL DICTIONARY of the Gypsies (Romanies) by DONALD KENRICK

Households and Servants

Area historians to tell servants’ tales in Plymouth, By Robert Knox April 11, 2013

Christopher Seider: household servant, schoolboy? from Boston 1775

Domestic Servants, Part I from the Gibson House Museum

Domestic Servants – Part 1 – Women

Female Householding in Late Eighteenth-Century America and the Problem of Poverty

Household Size and Composition in the British Colonies in America, 1675-1775, Robert V. Wells

MISTRESS, MAID AND MARKET: THE TRANSFORMATION OF DOMESTIC SERVICE IN NEW ENGLAND, 1790-1870 LASSER, CAROL S. [Preview, discusses Puritan take]

Regency Servants ~ Caring for the Wee Ones, by Sharon Lathan

Servants and Masters in the Plymouth Colony © 1998-2000 Copyright and All Rights Reserved by Jillian Galle at The Plymouth Colony Archive Project

The Households of President John Adams By: Lindsay M. Chervinsky, White House Historian

The Indentured Servant in Colonial America, Katharine L. Biehl

Women in Early America: Struggle, Survival, and Freedom in a New World By Dorothy A. Mays [Preview]

Magic and Witchcraft

Witchcraft, Witchdoctors and Empire: The Proscription and Prosecution of African Spiritual Practices in British Atlantic Colonies, 1760-1960s Danielle N. Boaz

Slave medicine and Obeah in Barbados, circa 1650 to 1834, by J. Handler

The Castrated Gods and their Castration Cults: Revenge, Punishment, and Spiritual Supremacy by Jenny Wade

Severed Hands as Symbols of Humanity in Legend and Popular Narratives Scott White

Property Law

Married Women 's Property Law: 1800-1850 Richard H. Chused

THE BEGINNINGS OF PARTIBLE INHERITANCE IN THE AMERICAN COLONIES, GEORGE L. HASKINS

Magic and Witchcraft

From Paradise to Plantation: Environmental Change in 17th Century Barbados by Ainsley Cray

HISTORICAL DICTIONARY of the Gypsies (Romanies) by DONALD KENRICK

Wartime

(May be of particular to those who prefer a Barnabas who is 30 to 35-years-old when vamped.)

A Military Journal During the American Revolutionary War, from 1775 to 1783 by James Thacher, MD

Compiled Service Records of Soldiers Who Served in the American Army During the Revolutionary War, NATIONAL ARCHIVES TRUST FUND BOARD WASHINGTON: 1976

Harvard’s year of exile

THE CONTINENTAL ARMY by Robert K. Wright, Jr.

Primary Sources, General

Comparative wages, prices, and cost of living : (from the Sixteenth annual report of the Massachusetts Bureau of Statistics of Labor, for 1885) / by Carroll D. Wright.

Report of Commissioners on bureau of labor statistics, to the Legislature, June session, 1872.

[Reprints from the Annual reports of the Massachusetts bureau of statistics of labor]

Volume 44: The Journals of Ashley Bowen (1728–1813) of Marblehead , Chapter IX, Colonial Society of Massachusetts

Misc

Keeping Warm in Early America By Richard Klingenmaier

Hotel of Dark Shadows (Part II)