#cockney

"I need an update on that Henry situation."

"[Sighs] Do I gotta do everythin' around here?"

"'Ello."

"You should'a stayed in your cell."

"This doesn't belong to you."

"I see you, Henry!"

"I was gonna hunt you down when we got set up, but now you just fall right into my lap. Go on. On your feet. [Chuckles] I'll give you one shot."

Hobie recognizes the familiar feeling of a guest landing heavily on their boat, and stops mindlessly strumming their guitar, setting it on the coffee table. They kick their feet off the armrest of the couch, and walk to the door to let in whoever it is, but the brat lets himself in.

"Oi. Geezer," their own voice greets them, "You got time for a rabbit?" Hobie huffs a sigh at their younger self.

"You gotta start knocking, bruv. Or one of these days you're gonna walk in on me having a zig and zag." The younger scrunches up his face at that."Come on then," they continue, knocking their shoulder against his as they head across the boat to the kitchen, the contact turning them an amused pink, "I'll make us a cuppa." The younger follows after, turned grey from annoyance.

"Make mine with mint."

"I know, mate. It's the same every time with you," they tease. As if they hardly ever switch up their own mix. The younger sits on the island as they set about putting the kettle on. "So what's this about then?" The question makes the younger turn blorange. Excitement? Then he crosses his legs. Anxiety. They decide not to scold him for putting his boots on the counter, and turn respectfully to their default colors when they click the stove on.

"Your Miles thinks you're the dog's, right?" he asks. What kind of question is that?

"Yeah. The little sun seed pops round all the time. Why?" Despite how often the two take the piss at each other, they aren't much different from their younger self. He ain't as mature, a bit behind on knowing his praxis, but is that really making such a difference that his Miles hates him?

"Sun seed," he repeats with a chuckle. Then his expression falls again, and he sighs. "I don't think mine's too keen on me. He don't give me a bell, and I feel like everything I say just winds him up somehow." He puts his finger tips to the sides of his head and stares at his lap. "It's been this way since I met him. Gwendy talked him up something rotten, so I put on my best when I met him, but I just can't get a fokin win, bruv!" He jerks his open hands away from his head and sits up straighter, the frustration turning him the sharp blue and red, a sign of his frustration since blorange was already taken. "I give him tips on his powers. Not a sausage. I give the coolest, most honest intro I've ever done. He still ain't clocked nothin. I show off being a bestest mate to Pav and Gwen. Proper backing them. He's doing a right stop about it!" He hops off the counter, blorange again, and starts pacing. "Then he goes and says I'm cooler under the mask! What's that about!? I thought I was finally getting through to him! I even kept it in how rubbish it was for him to say that! I was cool the whole ruddy time! But instead of kicking off, I focused on how he at least must think I'm peng!" They'd been following well enough until that last bit.

"Wait wait wait wait wait," they stop him, needing to clarify, "You saying you fancy him?" They knew their younger self was much closer in age to the other youngers in both their lives, but they'd never considered who he might be romantic for. He stops pacing and sighs.

"Yeah..."

They laugh. Hard. The action snapping them back to pink. They didn't mean to. The idea of it is just so far from anything they'd ever considered. The kettle screams. The younger glares. With a heavy sigh, he pushes past his hysterical alter, and pours the boiling water into the two prepared mugs.

"Would you please shut it!" he finally snaps, slamming the empty kettle into the sink, the action and heightened emotions turning him blue and red again. They get why he's angry, and force themself to take several deep breaths.

"Sorry. Sorry," they say. "I just wasn't expecting it. Miles, Gwendy, Pav... They're just dustbins, ain't they? Not been seeking variants of um round my age. You been the same, but different. Cause you're me. So I ain't thought about.... them sort of things between you and them lot. Get me?" The younger calms a bit and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah sure. Guess I ain't given your love life much thought neither." There's not a hint of curiosity in his tone but they decide to answer the unasked question anyhow.

"I've been considering flirting up that Noir fella." His face scrunches up at that.

"He's a cool bloke but... A Peter variant, bruv? Ain't never thought of them types as peng." They figured he'd say something like that, and just shrug.

"There's more important things than looks, innit?"

"Drop the superiority act and get back to why I came here to begin with," he scolds, sitting back on the counter. He holds his mug under his nose and inhales the steam deeply. He turns back to his default colors as he exhales, more relaxed now. The older lets him enjoy the moment of calm silence while they take a moment to think about what he was ranting before.

"We've established before that we both said pretty much all the same shite to him during all that, yeah?" they ask, wanting to be sure they're not misremembering.

"Yeah, what of it?" And with that confirmation, they're certain they know the problem.

"He thinks you was taking the piss, bruv. I know, cause that's what I was doing." The baffled look he gives them makes it clear he hadn't even considered that. Fair enough. They hadn't considered he could have had different motives either, but his little rant made it clear what angle he was seeing things from. "You stroll in, showing off like you're the best thing in the room, cause you are, and here he is with the twist and twirl he fancies, wondering how he's meant to top that." The younger frowns, taking in the new perspective on things. "You ask if he's the younger, as if you ain't basically his age."

"That don't mean nothing!" he protests, turning to blue newspaper print. "He just is, is all! I'd say it about someone a month younger!" It really is surprising how daft he is, they can't help but wonder if they used to be this bad. They suppose they probably were, but they'll self reflect later. At least the outburst finally triggered them to change out of pink and back to their more serious default.

"And you think Miles, mister 'You Understand This Guy?' Morales, got that?" They put on a yank accent for the quote, and the younger deflates, unable to argue with that. "Then, after you've already got him on the defensive, you go and talk down to him about his powers like you know um better than him, cause you do."

"It's illegal to give people advice now?" he mumbles, and, yeah, they get that. That time wasn't them taking the piss, they just didn't care much if Miles couldn't get over himself to listen in that moment. He got it well enough later.

"Then you insult his bag."

"I was just trying to break the ice!"

"Oh, bruv, it was already well smashed, and you was drowning without even knowing it." He groans loudly in frustration, throwing his head back. They feel bad, but they can't help but chuckle, torturing him with the truth is just too funny. They take a sip of their tea, it finally cooled enough, as they let him reflect and recover for a moment.

"So what did I cock up next then?" he asks after a heavy sigh, glaring at his other self as if his past is their fault.

"You rub it in his face that his gyal's been at your ends by pointing out all the things she left there."

"Oh come on! Was I meant to tell her that on the quiet or something!? I didn't realize toothbrushes were unmentionables!" He nearly spills his tea as he holds up his hands in exasperation.

"Yeah. Miles really did need to get over himself about that one. Doesn't change that he wasn't ready to hear that Gwen was staying nights with some proper hard bloke." He sets his tea aside to bury his face in his hands and groan again, lower and quieter this time, and he turns blue and red.

"And then I really did take the piss at him," he starts, picking up on the trends, "I thought 'not because you told me to' was proper comedy, but we wasn't hitting it off well enough for him to have a bubble with me."

"You're getting it," they encourage, and he takes a moment to think about what his next fuck up may have been, picking back up his tea and letting it warm his hands as he thinks.

"I'm betting insulting spider society had him scotched, but I knew that already."

"He's probably over that one by now. But yeah, putting down the thing he admired probably made him feel like you was putting him down as well." He huffs out a sigh, but that moment was easier to accept. He probably wouldn't change that one even if he could.

"Then I did that thing again where I rub it in that me and Gwen had been close, and," he pauses, mind flashing forward through everything through this new lense. Another groan and a turn to printed blue. "I've been such a git!"

"Nah," they reassure, "I mean yeah. But only cause Miles is daft."

"Miles is amazing," he defends instinctually but quietly.

"He can be both." They both sip their tea in silence for a bit before the younger speaks again.

"I don't know how to fix this."

The feeling of hopelessness in his tone makes the older's heart hurt. They need to fix this.

"You spend time with him enough yeah? So he's not avoiding you," they try to reassure.

"Yeah. But only when we've both been invited by Gwendy or Pav," he counters, no less dejected.

"Good enough," they persist,"I think you should just tell um out right." The younger snaps out of his somber lack of color to his sharp blue and red.

"Are you Gert and Daisy!?" When he doesn't get an answer, he continues, "I'm supposed to just surprise him with it!? Someone who probably hates me!?" They roll their eyes.

"He don't hate you, bruv. Even if you've been annoying, he's not avoiding you. Just give it a go. At least give um a visit. You're only going to make things worse if you keep avoiding reaching out." They glance up at the kitchen clock to check the time, making sure it's a reasonable hour to drop in on Miles. It's the weekend and more than an hour before sunset. They set their empty mug in the sink and push away from the counter they've been leaning against, their confidence turning them red and blue. "Come on. If you don't do it now, you'll over think it and wait too long. You don't want to lose him to that binman roommate of his or something do ya?" The insinuation clearly makes the younger bristle.

"As if he would ever settle for that Berkeley!" he snaps, setting his tea aside and pushing himself off the island, turning his default colors in defiance.