#coachyourself

Did anything disappoint you last week? Was it something you told yourself you would do, but in the end, didn’t reeeally?

“I will study harder”

“I will procrastinate less”

“I’m going to plan ahead more”

“I’m going to exercise every day”

Telling yourself is just the first step. To really make real change happen, you need to change your approach to make your wish come true.

This is a quote from one of my favorite authors:

The world is not as we would have it, but as it is. - Mercedes Lackey

Here’s the approach I’ve been trying when I fall short of a goal I’ve set for myself. Try it out and see if this works for you!

1. Catch yourself when you make a statement like, [“Next time, I will../need to…/should be…/am going to…”] and FREEZE.

2. Take out a sheet of paper, or something you can put where you will see it. Write out that [statement] at the top.

3. Think about the answers to the following questions:

–What steps did I already take towards [____]?

–What went well? Why?

–What didn’t go well? Why?

–What obstacles kept me from doing well?

These questions will identify specific obstacles to solve, and what helped you, so you can make sure to draw upon it again.

4. Now write down your answers to the following questions. This is your game plan on how to change, so you actually get results!

–What did work last time, that I want to repeat?

–What are ways to get around the obstacles that kept me from succeeding last time? Is there a new environment I can create, or a new habit I can form to help?

5. Post or place your game plan where you are sure to see it! It should look like a list of concrete small steps that will get you closer to your goal.

Now repeat this process every week! Or however often you think is useful. 

Often, we become overly consumed with the misfortunes of life that we fail to see the rainbow that awaits us. When the brisk summer thunderstorm passes overhead, eventually the clouds clear and the brilliant sun begins to peak through.  Beyond the sun’s rays and the blue skies dawns the rainbow that seals our bond with the Universal flow of energy; its splendid array of colors gives us the sacred sign that we are not alone and that there is always a blessing that awaits us.   As I so often say, it’s time for you to coach yourself to stay calm, breath in a true sense of inner peace and refuse to allow the negative thoughts or feelings that surface to take you out! 

As you begin to coach yourself, remember that the rainbow in our life is the promise that our higher source offers us each and every time sorrows rain into our lives. It is the promise that there is yet another blessed surfacing for us to experience.

Have you seen the rainbow in your life?  If you have not, you are clearly missing the opportunity for you to start anew. It is that colorful rainbow that allows you to rediscover the joy and love that you may have lost. It allows you to redefine the unique individual you are as you see and feel the signs of hope and new possibilities that await you. It allows you to find the inner peace that, at this moment, you lack. 

Metaphorically, your rainbow can be found in nature wherever you may go: It is the bird in the tree, the butterfly perched atop a branch or maybe it circles around your head, it is the breeze whisking through your hair and touching your face, it is the laughter of a child, it is the smile on your grandma’s face, it is the hug from a friend, it is the warmth of the sun, it is the wetness from the rain – because it simply is. 

Life has its ups and downs for each one of us.  Losing is a part of everyday life.  At times you can get beat and other times you will be recognized for doing your best; that is all part of life's true gifts when we take them as lessons and learn from them.  I honestly believe we can truly fail in life only when we quit.  If we never quit, then we never fail!  What a simple approach -- think about it.  You have the ability to empower yourself each moment of each day and to improve in all aspects of your life.  I call that coaching yourself towards your greatness.

 Half the struggles in life are about learning how to choose your battles wisely and to remain vigilant and persistent in doing so. The winning strategy here is not to “win the proverbial war,” but to win at what you do best and not give up in the act. Margaret Thatcher, a one-time Prime Minister of Great Britain once said that you may have to fight the battle more than once to win it, and that is not only a challenge to you but a fact in life. I cannot begin to imagine how many wonderful feats would not have been accomplished had it not been for the tenacity and determination of those talented individuals who created some of the lackluster tools that we now take for granted. Alexander Graham Bell could never have fathomed the routine use of his telephone, nor could he have ever foreseen the branches it would take in its expansion toward wireless communications.  But it was his many struggles to create something new and innovative that led to what we have today. He never failed to coach himself because he believed in himself.  Do you believe in yourself?  It did not happen overnight, and it was not an easy feat – but his vigilance and persistence paid off in the end because he was continually working to empower himself towards the vision he had.

 Another fine example of overcoming failures to live a purpose-filled life was a teacher by the name of Anne Sullivan. Had Sullivan ever conceded to her misgivings of trying to teach a deaf and blind girl, there never would have been such an inspirational story of going against all odds to do the seemingly impossible…but she did. Sullivan was convinced to use persistence and willpower to help develop one of the fondest motivational and heart-touching stories of all time: Helen Keller; who subsequently went on to writing and publishing 12 books, among pursuing several other lifeworks. Anne Sullivan never stopped coaching Helen because she believed in her abilities.  Her persistence and desire to empower Helen Keller bore great fruits.  You too, can bear your greatest joys if and when you are willing to coach yourself and discipline yourself.

 Of course, there are many other success stories throughout the course of history. I would not have enough days in a lifetime to tell you about those who went on to overcome failures to succeed at what they did best.

 Do you believe in yourself enough to refuse to fail in life? Have you given up on trying to succeed or have you become weak and decided you want to give up on yourself? I want you to empower yourself and pray for courage and strength because you deserve to reap the benefits of your labor.  To survive means that we must live to fight another day. If we no longer have reason to rise above the human condition and circumstance, then we have not begun to live at all. My challenge to you is to look within yourself to discover your hidden talents so you too, can manifest prosperity, happiness and a purpose-filled life. Failure is not a curse word, but a blessing in disguise. It is through failure that we learn to humble ourselves. It is through failure that we learn what not to do and what precisely it is we need to do in order to succeed. Failure is in virtue, the defining thread of life that enables us to see our shortcomings and discover our potentiality.

 If you believe you will fail, surely that will be the case. But the same holds true for those who believe they will succeed. When you plant the seed of fortune in your mind and spirit, you begin to manifest blessings that have long awaited you. As we grow, we learn from our mistakes. In Walt Disney’s “The Lion King,” Rafiki swats Simba on the head with a stick. He then says to the young lion cub that the past can hurt, but that he can either run from it or learn from it.  In order to conquer your future, you must first forgive yourself and release your past.  Learn from your failures and move forward with your head held high and with persistence and determination in your heart. You too, can manifest a prosperous and joy-filled life once you understand that past failures are not for you to carry, but from which to learn and to discover the true essence of you and who you intend to be. Tell yourself this often; coach yourself towards your greatest joy.

Often, you hear Mom and I speak of the necessity of coaching yourself, and may wonder what it entails, or how to get there from where you currently are? The process is one of developing your own, possibly latent, inner tools.  As the Intuition Girl, Joan Marie Whelan oven says, “determination, self-discipline, motivation and a strong desire to change for the better are most definitely part of the mix.”   I also believe that it requires a level of self-trust and discernment that exists within the ability of all of us.  It may need to be developed and practiced frequently so to allow you to be able to make clear choices. Our ability to trust our intuition, our gut feelings and our heart often goes unnoticed and is under-developed as we tend to focus 0n the outer world while completely ignoring our own Inner World and our need for self-improvement and self-preservation.  As you begin to build trust in your innate abilities, take it from my daughter, the intuitive expert, who states: you will find that you are more alert and aware of the messages and insights around you when you begin to “Tap into your Intuition”.  Coaching yourself is simply your desire to remain alert and in tune with your heart and mind as you begin to hear and identify your Higher-Inner Voice.  You will become better prepared to differentiate between that soft voice, your intuition,  and your own ego ramblings and critic and pay attention to the information presented to you. 

If you’ve honestly tried to reach your goals in life and have failed, then you need to take a long look at the game plan you’ve been using. Sometimes you have to adjust your footing so you can gain better traction in where you are right now and where you want to lead your life.

Nobody wants to strike out when it’s their turn to bat.  That’s why you must challenge yourself to strive to do better, achieve more, and transform your lifestyle. When you review your game plan, you should use your essential tools for living to get a firm grip on your metaphorical batting range. In addition, you have to take an extensive look at how far you are willing to run in order to achieve your heart’s desires. Just know it take work to reach your highest potential in life.

There are a few key areas in your life on which you have to focus in order to prepare yourself to hit your homerun to success. Following is a powerful guideline to transform your life into the lifestyle that you desire and fulfill your life’s dreams.  Coach yourself to your success.

Re-define Your Strengths

Many times, we beat ourselves up to the point that we forget the inner strength we possess, and what vital life tools we have at our disposal. You have to retreat within as you coach yourself and redefine your frame of mind so you can really get to the root basis of what’s causing you to strike out when you’re on home plate.

You know that you can achieve your goals because you can taste the victory that awaits you. The drawback is that every time you’re up to bat, you get ousted by the umpire because you haven’t been quite able to hit the pitch out of the ballpark. But let’s level the playing field – you already possess the physical stamina to meet life demands; so, you know that you are essentially equipped to get where you need to be going.  What you must do now is realign your mind, body, and spirit so these vital senses can work together to create an extraordinary lifestyle for yourself. 

Some of the inner strengths that individuals have include inner wisdom (or intuition), a blueprint for living, and the mental ability to transform life. The external forces that safeguard our lives are the Universal flow of energy and our God source. Talking in baseball terms in relation to life, the umpire calls the shots with regard to which plays are actually scored.  Whether it’s a foul ball, an out, or a homerun, the umpire is the source that lets you know where you stand in the game of life. Let’s suppose that the umpire is the Universal flow of energy. When you’re at a point in your life where you’ve been jolted by your own blunders, it’s because the metaphorical umpire is calling you on them. 

As mentioned earlier, when you balance your mind, body, and spirit, and begin working with the Universal flow of energy, you are steps closer to realizing your life dreams.

Go ahead and reward yourself by taking the initiative to get a unique perspective on how to reach your goals.  Sometimes, we have to take a step back and view life through a fresh pair of eyes and at a new angle. Next, let’s review your blueprint for living.  Within the soul being of each one of us, exists an in-depth map to fulfilling life purpose. When you look beyond your physical capabilities, trends, and hurdles; you need to ask your higher self what steps are necessary to achieve success.  Maybe this is the time to become your own best life coach? A growing number of people use meditation, which is a powerful mind tool toward channeling inner wisdom for greater purpose. Your God source is also a fundamental supply that can lend support to you in your efforts.  That’s why a lot of individuals frequently turn to prayer for guidance, direction, and insight.  By facilitating these intuitive mental tools, you are well on your way toward hitting a homerun and receiving life’s blessings.

Become the Leader of your Life

Do you feel like every time you turn around, you are facing mission impossible? Nothing you do is working out the way you want it. You appear to be running in circles and you keep having the same situations come up in your life. Does that sound like you? You want to manifest for your life your heart’s desire and reach your highest potential but everything fizzles. Perhaps you have become your worst own enemy.

 Whether you realize it or not, your actions, behaviors and perception may be hindering your progress in life. When your daily routine becomes mission impossible, you need to rethink and recreate your current lifestyle. “But I don’t do anything differently than other people,” you say? Well, let’s take a look at where you are and the issues you are encountering:

•  Is your loved one making you feel miserable?

•  Do you see yourself in a dead-end job?

•  Are you a hoarder, holding onto way too much clutter in your home?

•  Are you afraid to move forward with your goals?

•  Are you still trying to live in the past?

•  Have you lost track of who you are?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you might just be creating your own mission impossible in life. In order to become whole and happy, you must focus on what is attainable and what makes you feel truly alive. If your relationships with work, your significant other, your health or your friendships are putting a strain on your emotional, mental or physical wellbeing then it is time to reshape your perception on what is working and what is not. It’s time to be your own life coach and make some positive changes that will help you get back on track and manifest for your life once again.

 How do you become your own life coach you ask? If you, yourself, are experiencing emotional barriers that prevent you from being happy and healthy, then you must discover what those emotional blockages are so that you can face them, release them and head them off at the pass.  Your missions in life do not have to become fearful and tedious. Only you have the innate control to overcome any misconceptions or trepidation that you may have in achieving success and true happiness. There is an old affirmation that many individuals use to help maneuver life’s sometimes murky trails: “Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”  Say these words often until you own them for yourself.  In order to reach your highest potential in life you need to shift your thoughts, words and action.

Should you ever feel like your life has taken you on seemingly impossible missions, I want you to stop whatever it is you are doing and take a long, deep breath and re-focus. Talk to yourself, coach yourself and say the affirmation above often. Lose yourself to the Universal flow of energy and allow that energy to strengthen you and fill you with much need wisdom and encouragement. All things will be revealed to you when you are ready to receive them; that is how you will manifest in your life. What was once your impossible mission will transform into the blessings and opportunities that you have been missing all along.

Do you cheer yourself on because you believe in you and your goals?  Do you coach yourself all the time because you are worth it and valued? Do you trust your talents and gift?  Are you investing time and money in you?  As a life coach to many, I realize how difficult it can be to be your own coach and give yourself a pep talk; however that is what is needed if you want to stay on top and refuse to succumb to the negative self-talk that surrounds most of us all the time.  If you are having a difficult time in believing in your capabilities and talents, how do you expect others to believe in you?  It is all about perception!  People perceive you the way you look, feel and act.  If you have low self-esteem and move about doubting your talents, how do you expect others to think otherwise?

Staying motivated can be challenging.  That is why you need to set parameters or guidelines so that you know how and when to proceed and why your actions will either help you to achieve your goals or miss the mark by a mile. That is what coaching yourself is all about!  No matter where we are in the world, there are parameters or boundaries to observe.  If the roads that we drive didn’t have a line down the middle showing us where to drive, we would soon be making our own rules that could lead to death and disaster.  Parameters are a necessary part of life and order.  They guide our journey and help assure a safe passage.  When our boundaries are not clear, we tend to make our own rules and chaos ensues.  Whether we like it or not, we can only communicate clearly when we have specific parameters to follow because then we all have the same starting point and understand the rules of the game.

So again, I ask you—Do you believe in yourself sufficiently to become your best cheerleader?  For example, I was recently at a meeting where I had to explain my business and what I do.  I always speak with passion because I like what I do, and I believe in my talents and myself.  The gentlemen that I was speaking to commented that I really seem to be an accomplished person.  I said thank you and yes, I am.  I was surprised at how I responded to his comments.  At first, I felt a little embarrassed but then I realized that—I am accomplished in my work and I really enjoy what I am doing so why not agree. That was not being boastful but simply acknowledging that I honor and respect my talents and gifts.  I want to be a cheerleader for my work and me; I realize that I have a message to share so why not share it with joy and enthusiasm. I believe the same should hold true for you.  If you are passionate about your work and your life, why not express it in a pleasant manner.  Be enthusiastic about whom you are and what you have to offer to others.  If you have nothing to share or don’t feel that your life is worth cheering about, maybe you need to shift patterns and find your passion.  

Ways to become your own cheerleader and coach yourself are:

1. Give yourself a pep talk daily.  Say something inspiring to you that will bring a smile to your face.

2.  Surround yourself with positive thinking and like-minded people. Avoid those individuals who are continually finding fault with life and its process.

3. Pat yourself on the back—If you have achieved a task or feat, celebrate—do something nice for you because that type of attitude improves your success rate as it motivates you to strive for more

4.  Gift yourself—If you worked hard and succeeded, reward yourself with a small gift that has meaning to you.  Even buying a bouquet of flowers or an ice cream cone sends the message to your mind and spirit that you are worth it.