They link pinkies when they kiss, especially before going out into the field or in dangerous situations
Henry and Michael started calling Emily āMomemā after Michael slipped up, starting to call her mom, but caught himself and ended up calling her āMomemā and it just stuck
JJ wears Emilyās old Yale t-shirt, which she stole the first time she slept over, to bed so often that itās threadbare and almost unwearable now
Emily loves gummy bears, she bites off their heads and switches the bodies (she freaked Reid out the first time she did it) and now Henry and Michael do it too
Emily is an insomniac and even though she is prescribed sleep meds, she doesnāt like to take them, so most nights she lays awake for a while and watches JJ sleep.
JJ talks and mumbles in her sleep. Sheās also a stage five clinger and will wrap herself around Emily unless sheās all touched out from the boys hanging all over her.
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Workaholic for sure. She'll spend many late nights in her office, whether you work together or not. She also brings her work home with her, a lot.
She can't really cook. She can make basic meals but you're the one cooking dinner most of the time, though she always washes up afterwards.
I feel like she's not big on housework. She'll do the dishes when you cook because that's just nice, but most of the time she's really not a housework person and puts it off for as long as possible.
Sorry this is so short but it's all I could think of for her!
This is just a quick blurb based on what jobs Iād assign to each member of the team based on vibes and my own personal bias! Not meant to be taken seriously eheh
(I should've included everyone, but if Iām missing someone pls tell me!!)
w.c: around 1k
Masterlist
Jason Gideon - forest ranger. But before that he drove the school bus, probably got into an accident and the repercussions still hunt his psyche. Also, this way he gets to do bird watching!
Aaron Hotchner - he gives me health inspector vibes, like from the health departments, but specifically for food and restaurants. Defo deadpans jokes on salmonella and when no one laughs (as theyāre hella nervous), he immediately makes a remark about something that is violating the health code and scribbles down on his notebook. OR highschool principal (no, I will not elaborate)
Derek Morgan - guidance counselor and coach. Heās definitely too smart for it, but he likes knowing heās there for the kids. I know everyone likes to joke around that heās dumb but heās literally an honor graduate in Law, so I could also see him as a lawyer who coaches a youth football league on the weekends.
Spencer Reid - art expert/appraiser. I know what youāre thinking, but hear me out: yes, he could do science stuff, but imagine that big brain of his working to identify whether a painting is authentic or that specific manuscript is actually from the 15th century? Heād have all the knowledge needed right away. I could also see him working on restorations (like with all the chemical components) and writing lots of books about art and chemistry.
OR heās one of those guys that keep discovering new math (which would make him my personal enemy but oh well)
Jennifer Jareau - CEO of a big cosmetics company, maybe an influencer, someone like Chiara Ferragni (including her recent fiasco lol). She definitely has the brains and people skills to excel. (plus I feel like Will would be supportive, but also try to keep their kids as far away from the spotlight as possible, which would cause JJ and him to drift apart - just not in front of the cameras)
Penelope Garcia - world renouned baker, like millions of followers on every platform. Sheās shown baking multiple times and I think itād suit her. Plus her bubbly personality would make her fit for being an influencer. OR(/and) twitch streamer who plays and codes videogames and has a massive following and hacks her haters (her fans sometimes go overboard and dox the haters on twitter, but she has discouraged that behavior multiple times)
Elle Greenaway - model turned kickboxing instructor. I can see her very well going from being a beauty icon to realizing the faults of the beauty industry to wanting to teach women how to protect themselves. Plus Iād love to see her kick ass <3
Emily Prentiss - nepo baby 100%. Sheād take over the company after her mother retires. I feel like the company in question would be one of those massive ones that make candy bars (but like a Kinder-size company).Ā
David Rossi - NOT a chef. Iāve seen him cook carbonara in that one episode and I can tell you that man should never ever be near a kitchen ever again. (He committed crimes against the madrepatria fr fr) I could see him as a wine connoisseur and/or a book author (but more the kind that has 20 ghostwriters and is filthy rich because of somebody else's prose. The books he writes himself always flop)
Tara Lewis - U.S.A. president. Sheās smart, driven and compassionate. Idc about canon usa history, sheās president. Or at least a congresswoman. And she does stand up comedy. She became famous over a meme and people online actually often go āwas no one gonna tell me Congresswoman Tara Lewis is the same person from (meme)???ā It got so popular she actually made it part of her campaign to appeal to the younger voters.
Matthew Simmons - childrenās author (for obvious reasons), but only after he gets children. Before heās a race car driver turned stuntman. He has a cult following developed during his racing era, lots and lots of fics on Ao3 and wattpad. His wife has definitely read some of those and actually teases him about it. (Idk know how much a racecar driver makes, so letās all pretend this is realistic)
Luke Alvez - He canonically boxes, but I feel like he could be a famous singer? Like the kind that makes love songs (like in the style of Claudio Baglioni, iykyk) and they even make a movie with his songs (Still Claudio Baglioni core/ Abba with āmamma miaā core).
(Also random headcanon that he actively listen to children when theyāre just babbling and saying random stuff and just smiles and says āyouāre so right, little manā)
Alex Blake - university professor (groundbreaking ik) OR high school prof whoās kinda mean but everyone loves because she can actually teach and is absolutely fair with the scores. Also, her tests are hella difficult and the only kid to ever get a perfect score was Spencer Reid (however, you can still get an A in her class without perfect scores because she also offers the chance for extra credit)
Kate Callahan - tour guide (idk if for a museum or a city tho). She definitely has the kind of āfamily humorā that would do well in that line of work. Parents and little kids would love her, teenagers might cringe at her outdated jokes but I feel like she'd be appreciated nonetheless.
Stephen Walker - okay so, he canonically plays the trombone, so he could be a jazz musician. BUT I feel like that wouldnāt be his main job. He could be a translator in the United Nations (he speaks fluent Russian), or even a US representative in the general assembly. He has those vibes (sources: it was revealed to me by the oracle of Delphi).
Ashley Seaver - veterinarian. I feel like sheād be great with small animals or horses. Like, I can totally see her being a horse girl who goes to a lot of competitions, until her horse gets hurt and then she decides to become a veterinarian.
Jordan Todd - I feel like sheād do well as a pr manager for an A list celebrity. Sheās not in a lot of episodes/we donāt learn much about her, but sheās smart enough to get to the BAU (even if in a temporary position) and I feel like dealing with Hollywood and social media would make her shine.
That poll got me thinking, so headcanons of CM character's online presence.
Garcia: has a private insta. She probably has her own server on Mastodon and/or she uses BSky. As I said on the tags before, I fully believe Garcia has a neocities and a bearblog, and it's all very cute/glittery and she posts a lot of tutorials and help people out. She's probably part of the free software movement.
Emily: had/has a tumblr nobody (except Garcia) knows about. She mostly posts about sci-fi and literature, sometimes art. I also think she would make those posts explaining how to get certain services from the government; every once in a while she'll post or correct an information about self-defense tips for women
JJ: private insta. she also has an account on reddit, which she uses mostly to judge if people are the asshole or not, and later in evolution uses it to learn about IA and stuff.
Reid: if he has an online presence (not likely) is probably a very simple bearblog where he posts reflections on works that he's read.
Morgan: insta. and he barely posts on it, when he does it, it's a thirst trap.
Hotch: His insta only exists so he can see what Jack is posting. (he also see what his other children - aka BAU - are posting)
Rossi: He has a offical instagram (usually taken care by someone else), and a private one with only like the BAU and his daughter and that's it. He also has a twitter, which he posts in every once in a while, mostly to fact-check info that's going on about profiling and talking about cooking. And I bet he did once the "I was one of the founders of the BAU, AMA." on reddit before a book came out as part of the marketing for the book. I can also see him showing up in streamings (either youtube or twitch) and playing something silly like Fortnite and being really fucking good at it.
Alex: has a blog where she talks about literature and weird things she's fascinated about. She doesn't use her actual name on the blog though, cause she doesn't want her students to find her. (Garcia makes Blake a part of her webring and help her set an guestbook on her blog so people can send her a message)
Tara: Private insta (she most posts stories though, nothing on the feed). Also a twitter account that doesn't have her name or picture on it and no mentions of her real life and she mostly post memes and comment on stuff. She might be even a little internet famous with that account.
Luke: Has 2 insta accounts. One, private for him. The second is for Roxy and she's famous.
Matt: private instagram account is mostly pictures of kids and wife. Has some pictures of himself being silly taken by his kids.
Elle: only twitter, without her name of course, she probably likes to shitpost.
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Hey!! I love ur writing for stardew so much. I was looking at ur rules & things u write for. And saw u do criminal minds ??? Like fuck yeaaaa!! I was wondering what ur headcannons would be with dating Spencer Reid? (Especially with him dating a genderfluid / nonbinary person with adhd) Thank you sm!!! Ur work is so amazing!! ššš
A/N: yeah!!! I do write for criminal minds, mainly the fic im working on is on ao3 and Iām debating on posting it here~ also thank you thank you for enjoying my writing!!!
A/N 2: B R O T H E R I WROTE THIS ENTIRE THING AND TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE IT SO NOW I HAVE TO REWRITE AND ITS GONNA BE WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL BECAUSE I CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME REMEMBER WHAT I WROTE!!!! And I know whoever reads this (not you anon) will be like āwhy donāt you remember itās your headcanonsā ITS BECAUSE I FORGET JUST AS QUICKLY AS I WRITE LEAVE ME ALONE.
Tw: some cursing, adhd being portrayed by a person that doesnāt have it
Criminal Minds Masterlist
So before I get into these headcanons I do like to point out that I do not have adhd and I also identify as cis so Iām not writing this from a personal pov. Obviously I am going to try my best but I just want to warn people and say that if anything is inaccurate let me know!!
So what I know about ADHD is there is three main types
The inattentive type the hyperactive type and the combined type
And personally I feel like Spencer would know the differences in how it affects you and would behave accordingly.
But weāll get to that in a second because either way gender-fluid or nonbinary has absolutely nothing to do with how he treats you!!
Like dude is in love with you he doesnāt care about how you identify as long as youāre happy heās happy and he will always introduce you as his partner or significant other.
Like unless youāre feeling a certain type of way and want to be introduced in that way he is more than comfortable with everything just being neutral.
Like sometimes I think that he does go about these things in a logical way, so I feel like it could be very helpful as well as sometimes unhelpful yāknow?
Like there are pros and cons to everything EVEN someone being the most understanding anyone could ever be.
The adhd can however come with self esteem issues and I know sometimes even if youāre proud of who you are and what you identify as, there will be some hard days where everything just seems hopeless.
And while I think he would do his absolute best to comfort you, he just doesnāt understand what youāre going through from a personal point of view.
He does stay with you through it and does whatever you need him to because he high key would feel awful that someone he loves feels awful.
OKAY now onto the adhd aspects
I think the differences between the three types means that there will be different ways that he handles everything.
So for the inattentive type I think he would become more conscious of everything around him that way he can help you whenever you need it.
While yes he wants to help you work on finding ways to manage the symptoms and stress he also knows that it takes TIME and that helping in this way makes everything slightly better for you.
So when youāre together and he can see youāre losing focus he either remembers everything that was said and retell them to you or try to get you to pay attention again without making it too obvious.
Like he doesnāt want you to be embarrassed and he doesnāt want the other person to feel bad or angry so he tries his best.
Or he reminds you of simple things like did you remember to place your keys in this certain place? No? Okay letās look for them or yāknow just put them there to make sure we can keep track of everything
Reminds you to eat
It honestly just seems like heās a doting boyfriend but I feel like it would feel like much more than that
Like youāre cared for and loved
But also it depends on the type of person you are because someone doing this could also piss someone off and make them feel dumb.
I would hope that youād be okay with it because itās not a bad intention but I also understand that sometimes intent and impact are very different things soā¦.
Sometimes gets his feelings hurt because he does like to go off on tangents ably things that he finds interesting and sometimes itās hard for you to pay attention for an extended amount of time.
Knows you donāt mean it and that heās used to it due to usually being cut off but it still sometimes hurts.
ONTO THE HYPERACTIVE TYPE
I think that this type would be more difficult for him to help with in my opinion
Like he himself has lots of things to do and has to no time to relax. So him being on the go and you being on the go is just too much.
He still wants to help but helping in this situation is difficult especially because trying to get someone to sit and relax when their mind is racing is almost impossible
Like sitting there thinking about how many things you need to do gets you more agitated and upset.
BUT I think that this type is more comical in a way with him because your conversations are just both of you going off on tangents and interrupting each other.
But itās not offensive because both of you understand thatās just how your conversations work.
Also I think while itās tiring for both of you thereās no one upset about both of you being gone all the time because I honestly think in this timeline you would have a job that allows you to maximize and take advantage of your adhd powers.
You understand that heās just unavailable sometimes and he understands for you as well
I think it makes those days where you can spend all day together that much more special.
Does want to help you control it though, and if you want his help he will find ways that you can relax more because everyone needs a break once in the while.
Now with the combined type of adhd I feel like itās moreā¦.unmanageable than the other two due to it being a combination of things working against each other and together.
Again if Iām wrong tell me (be nice though Iām trying)
And this type causes the both of you distress because he really does want to help but with everything clashing it makes it hard to be okay.
Like according to what I looked up it seems like EVERYTHING is impacted by it.
Like sleep problems, memory problems, self esteem issues, sensory issues, like damn stepping away from these headcanons are yāall ALRIGHT?
This is something that he would be like lmao I donāt know how to help you so all I can do is be here for you if you need something
Which is enough yāknow
He is there when youāre breaking down, there when youāre happy. He helps you with your confidence and with loving yourself
Tries to help manage everything but in a less hands on way than the other two types.
Like with one or the other the things that are impacted are very specific things so itās easier to help(not saying that itās easy donāt get me wrong) but this impacts a lot more and is more general so itās difficult
Does his best to be someone you can depend on.
I think he is very helpful with these things because of his experience with his mother
Like theyāre not the same thing; adhd and schizophrenia, but like heās used to dealing with people he loves not being in the best of mental states.
When he is not helping with everything I think in general he is a very touchy person ngl
Like he wants to be on you at all times
Not sexually and sexually like he just likes being with you.
another favorite, random hc of mine is will is a massive, non intentional flirt. meaning he flirts for ego purposes not ever w any intention to cheat. he will always shut it down if it seems like itās going in that direction but he is the type to flirt cus it makes him feel good. that said, heās always telling people how blessed he was to find a wife that was not the jealous or possessive type at all cus jj never gets mad about his flirting.Ā
thing is, jj is the jealous type.Ā
she gets pissed whenever emily shows any interest in any other woman. she stifles it best she can cus sheās got will, but it does come to a head every now and then. she n emily butt heads on account of it a lot more than people realize, behind closed doors. itās gotten to the point where they donāt even talk about their love lives anymore cus as soon as jj hears about emily with another woman, it causes a slight riff between them, even though she knows itās unfair.
so, every time will brags about having a super understanding, non jealous, not possessive wife with emily in earshot, she snorts or scoffs cus sheās the only person who knows how jealous jj actually is, and she knows that will doesnāt get that version of her cus jj doesnāt care enough about him romantically for it to manifest in their relationship.Ā
Thinking about Henry being JJ and Emilyās with the help of donor Hotch. Him and Jack being best friends and also brothers makes me very soft inside.
Hotch would be so surprised but very honoured when they ask and would be so happy to help some of his closest friend have a family.
After Haley dies the five of them start operating as one big family a lot of the time. JJ and Emily give Hotch all the love and support he desperately needs as a person and as a parent.
