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Secret Sunshine | spencer reid x reader qπ¦ΉΒ°β§
genre: fluff!!
summary: spencer and reader were childhood best friends, until spencer had to leave. spencer left reader when he went to college and they havenβt spoken in over ten years. one might, at a some random local bar garcia dragged the BAU too, spencer finds someone he wasnβt expecting to ever see again. his sunshine.
content: sunshine!reader, use of y/n, awkward!spencer, but he starts to get more confident slowly? idk, lighthearted teasing, spencer left her, spencer and reader are childhood best friends, nervous!spencer, nervous!readet, bubbly!reader, lots of longing for each other, super fluffy and cute, spencer struggles with being affected by his job, baker!reader
notes: guys this is my first time writing like this please im so so sorry if itβs bad!! pls donβt be mean i will cry
spencer didnβt often entertain the teams schemes of bringing him out to a club or bar. however, their last case in particular got to him. the details still fresh and relentless in his mind. a case involving children. cases were hard enough, but when it involved children, that came with a different feeling. A stronger one.
Spencer hated how much his job affected him. Especially when he looked at his team members, they never seemed to have any issue. Sure, the pictures could be gruesome and disturbing, which the team were affected by. But Spencer, it wasnβt just the pictures. It was guilt that came along with it. maybe the only downside to an eidetic memory. He could never take his mind off of anything. The cases, the victims, the guilt. What if he couldβve done better? What if he figured things out faster? Would he have saved those victims? Was this his fault? It was eating at him too much, maybe thatβs why he agreed to garciaβs team bonding event at a local bar.
βhaving fun, genius?β Morganβs familiar teasing tone suddenly appeared. no, he was not. but Penelope was right there, and he wouldnβt hear the end of it if he said anything of the sort in front of her. he settled on βsure, a blast.β spencer wasnβt usually one for sarcasm, but an occasional snippy response happened here and there. βcome on, spence..loosen up!! we all are in need of a break.β jj sat down next to him, her smile was warm and her voice kind. the teams teasing was playful and light, it always was. but spencer did not need any more stress, and this environment was starting to feel a lot more overwhelming than expected. too loud, music playing and people shouting over it, too bright, light for every corner yet it was so dark. and way too many people. he just needed a break, just a couple seconds.
βim going to get a drink.β spencer muttered, standing up and making his way to the bar. βuh, just, a sprite please.β he never liked alcohol, spencer liked control. and alcohol came with uncontrollable chaos. spencer lingered at the bar for a couple minutes, at first it was a bit calming. there werenβt many people surrounding him, and the music wasnβt as loud over here. that was until a swarm of people came over to the bar, shouting and practically pushing spencer out of the way. he sighed, a bit annoyed, and grabbed his drink. he returned to the table filled with his coworkers, and sat back down. jj said something to him, he doesnβt respond. he means to, but he just canβt.. his attention was somewhere else. on someone else.
her. those brown curls that bounced with every step. the dimples, you hadnβt changed much since he last saw you. which was, the summer when you both were thirteen. your tan skin glistened under the lights, and the smile stretched onto your face was so familiar, he almost felt pulled to you. he knew he couldnβt go over to you, what if you didnβt remember? but, he could justβ¦look, right?
βReid? Helloβ¦pretty boy?β Morgan snapped his fingers in Spencerβs face. Spencer shook his head slightly βhuh..?β He muttered, not turning his attention away from you. he took a quick glance at morgan, his attention springing back to you almost instantly. Derek laughed at him, βwelcome back man, what were you..β
he trails off, following Spencerβs eyes. a low whistle followed by some deep laughter. βwell, look at that, pretty boysβs got himself a crush.β Spencer shook himself slightly and cleared his throat. Taking a sip from his drink. βShut up morgan, I uh..β emily shook her head at him βdonβt even try Reid, he is never letting this go.β She was right; but Spencer couldnβt bring himself to care much in that moment. You were in the center of his brain, and you were hard to shake.
He thought this couldnβt get any worse, any more awkward. the moment he noticed you, he felt overwhelmed with nostalgia. Even though he was scared that you would notice him, and how you would respond. he still felt a longing for you. a longing for the person he had considered his home, and the person that he was forced to leave when college came around. the shock from seeing you and the embarrassment from his team, which he knew was coming, was all to much. just enough to make his hand twitch and sweat, which in result, the drink in his hand spilled. not all the way, but just enough to cover the part of the table in front of him. as he scrambled to clean it up, his ears turning pink from his teams teasing, he heard that voice.
you werenβt even talking to him yet, you had walked in the bar with some unfamiliar faces. friends of yours, he assumed. the feelings of embarrassment and nostalgia were pushed down. and the pain of guilt flooded through his system. spencer didnβt mean to leave you. you were, well, everything to him. but college was important to him, and even more important to his mom. he couldnβt say no. losing you was heartbreaking, but you encouraging him to go, that buried him deep into the ground. you were just so kind, so caring. even though Spencer was the only person you ever truly trusted, you told him to move across the country because you wanted him to chase his dreams. he still felt guilty, he still felt like an absolute idiot. maybe it was the creepy staring from both spencer. Or maybe it was the equally creepy staring from his team. but eventually you turned around, and you had noticed him. you had seen Spencer. The man you have been dying to see again since the moment he left. you walked over to him, not meaning to leave your friends behind, but doing it anyway.
βSpencer Reid? that cannot be you!β A warm voice flooded the area Spencer and his team were currently occupying. βy/n, uh..hi..!β He mumbled awkwardly, the teams glance stuck on Spencer, except for morgan, of course. Who was busy ogling over y/n. He did that with every pretty girl, but, y/n was different. Spencer didnβt understand the feelings arising, but he knew he didnβt want morgan looking at you like that for any longer.
laughter, soft and feminine broke out. βSpence, really? Weβve known each other for what? Over ten years? Donβt be so awkward!!β y/n spoke directly towards Spencer, not even acknowledging the rest of his team yet. Morgan nudged Spencer with his shoulder. βPretty boy, ten years!! Youβve known this gorgeous lady for over ten years and youβre acting like a high school boy?β
βShut up- morgan! I, I just didnβt expect to see her, okay?β Spencer responded, his voice unsure, which wasnβt common. βYou didnβt expect to see me? Seriously spence, am I that forgettable?β You teased lightly. Not in a mean way, but in the childish way you had done all those years ago. βWait, years? Oh you have some explaining to do!!β Garcias chirpy voice sounded out. The rest of the team, agreeing in hums and yeahs.
βright..β he cleared his throat, again. βGuys, this is y/n, she is, was, a good friend of mine.β despite the sting from his words, y/n smiled politely at everyone, βhi, itβs so nice to meet you all!β you were ushered to sit, by penelope, and you complied, taking the seat next to Spencer. you, feeling uneasy about all of the new faces, stared down at your feet. Spencer watched you, his eyes not ever leaving you. Not even for a second. His eyes were trained on you confidently, but spencer was nervous. His face was flushed, even though it was barely noticeable under the fluorescent bar lights. The team all watched the two of you with knowing eyes, their reactions pleasant to seeing their genius yet awkward Dr. Spencer Reid having such a connection. Morgan seemed the most amused, giving Spencer a playful slap on the back βmy man!!β He joked before walking off with penelope.
Spencer had laughed at Derek slightly, but stopped when his eyes finally lingered over you again. he looked at you deeply, his eyes caressing over your features, he couldnβt believed how different you looked. but in a way, you looked the exact same. your hair was just as curly, your eyes bright with that same spark you held when you were young. even though you looked a little different, you still felt the same to spencer. like warmth, like home. spencer mustβve been staring for too long because you had noticed, giving him a small smile, biting her lip hesitatingly before saying.
βhi..sorry for, intruding.β you whispered, a soft, but apologetic smile on your face. for the first time during this entire conversation, spencer smiled. This was a good sign, you believed. At first, when you had sat down, you felt the nerves rush over you. It had been a long time, and even though Spencer was the one who had left. You felt worried that maybe, he wasnβt as fond that you returned as he made it seem. You wanted him to still care about you, and you were worried that the love he had for you may have faded over the years.
βhey, donβt be sorry. im glad to see you.β you had calmed down slightly at his words, spencer wasnβt one to lie unless completely necessary. So you trusted he was being truthful with his words. Even if he wasnβt, to hear them was so enticing, you just wanted him to talk on and on. About whatever, his voice and his words were all you wanted to hear anyway.
Spencer hadnβt realized how much he missed that, the simplicity of it. When life had been so cruel, you had been his escape, a source of light in a house full of shadows. βSunshine,β he used to call you, but now it felt more like a warning. Maybe, just maybe, you were the one thing that could make him feel like himself again.
And that voice, spencer swears he could hear that voice forever and never get bored. he would dream about you, often. your appearance was vivid, but as the years passed, the familiarity of your voice started to fade. when he finally heard it again, it was like heaven. you always spoke so beautifully. it was purely angelic. everything about you was an angelic. and was spencer glad that you were finally back in front of him, and not just in his dreams.
the smile on your face turned brighter, you took a sip out of your drink. βso..itβs been a while.β You comment, not sure how to start a conversation when the two of you havenβt talk for over 10 years. βsure has, sunshine.β
sunshine. that nickname, spencer used to call you that all the time. he said you were like his own personal piece of sunshine. quite poetic for a thirteen year old boy, but then again, it was spencer. warmth flooded into your cheeks, a soft look of joy and nostalgia filling her eyes.
spencer looked different, his hair was longer, and he looked a lot more mature. even though his outward appearance had changed, spencer was still spencer, and you liked that. when the rest of the team, who had been lingering, dispersed amongst the bar, spencer calmed down.
βwhat are you doing here anyway, not that im not happy youβre here, but..β you laughed softly and shook your head. βI just started working a new job here, speaking of jobs, youβre finally the fbi agent you dreamed of being!!β you said accidentally, putting a gentle hand on his arm. βim proud of you, spence.β his eyes softened, his other hand placed on top of yours. he gave it a quick squeeze. βthank you, sunshine.β the quick squeeze, the comfort that came with it was almost breaktaking. you hadnβt felt the calmness that spencerβs touch brought in years. feeling it, was almost overwhelming. even though spencer was the one who had initiated the sudden touch, he still felt the warmth flood through him. your hand, even just the simplest connection had almost knocked the wind out of him.
spencer wasnβt sure why he felt so comfortable. After all, you two havenβt seen each other in years. and, as cliche as it might sound, it feels like you two never parted ways. you were always his comfort, a home, in a way. between his absent father, schizophrenic mother, and the torment he suffered in school from his peers, you were always the person he went to. you were his little piece of sunshine. and now that heβs an fbi agent dealing with his own personal demons, maybe that sunshine is just what he needs?
Spencer shakes himself from this thoughts, turning to face you more. he hasnβt take his hand off of yours, and you havenβt made any move to retract your hand. so he keeps it there, resting gently on top of yours. itβs relaxing. Spencer realizes he hasnβt said much so he makes small talk. βnew job, you said? what kind of job?β he asks, looking at you. his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips. you smile, brightly. a sense of pride shining through. βa bakery!! you know I used to talk about owning one all time!!β spencer does know. you were an amazing baker, and the way you gushed and smiled over your job, almost made spencer feel giddy inside. he grins, a boyish and familiar sight.
βy/n, thatβs amazing!! you truly are the best baker Iβve ever known.β you laugh, giving him a serious nod. βoh you bet I am!! so, back to you. big shot fbi agent, hm?β spencer dulls just slightly. but, of course, you notice. youβre about to spill out a string of apologies for even bringing it up but Spencer stops you before you even get the words out. βdonβt apologize, itβs just hard. all the..victims, and cases. I used to think I was helping people. But now, itβs almost like im just losing myself more and more.β
your eyes get sad, a sympathetic look on your face. you know Spencer hates being pitied, but you couldnβt help it. βyou are helping people. you always have spencer, thatβs just the kind of you person you are! but trust me, we all get overwhelmed and we all get lost in things we donβt want to. im here, yeah?β you comfort him with your words, it was always something you were perfect at. you could always solve all of his problems, even for just a moment, with your words.
spencer looks deep in your eyes, for just a moment. βyou havenβt changed at all, you know that, sunshine?β he mutters, his voice deep and gravely. you shiver at his tone. you couldnβt say the same for him. βyou are completely different, did you know that?β he chuckles, his loose hold on your hand becoming just a bit firmer, his thumb rubbing lazily against the back of your hand. teenage spencer was your everything, but this new, more mature side of him? oh, you could get used to it.
you stir your drink with the straw, looking at him, lingering a bit too long. he was captivating, you felt drawn in by his presence. You werenβt sure if it was the slight buzz from the alcohol, or the adrenaline from seeing him, but you could not take your eyes off of him. obviously, Spencer had noticed. he laughed, the deep noise rumbling in your ears. βCareful there, sunshine. you keep looking at me like that..I might just start thinking im interesting.β
you laugh, Spencer always made you laugh. In every situation, every scenario. βWell we canβt have you grow an ego can we?β You nudge his chest playfully with your hand. Spencer is slightly stunned by the sudden and unexpected touch, but he raises an eyebrow and gives a slow nod.
βI donβt think I can help it..β you mutter.
βHelp what?β He questions, looking down at you, his voice low.
βStaring at you.β You say, playing with you drink, a ghost of a smile playing on your lips.
βGood, I didnβt want you to stop anyway.β He plays along, getting bolder as the minutes pass.
you blushed at his words, spencer used to be a shy and awkward boy, and some of that old personality had shown through tonight. but right now, when it was just you and him. spencer was confident, and it was different. a good different. it made you never want to leave him again.
but It was staring to get late, and even though you both didnβt want to. You knew that this was going to have to end soon. But Spencer was determined, he wasnβt letting you go. Not again, not ever. He wouldnβt let it happen.
As the night began to wind down, you glanced at your phone, realizing how late it had gotten. You stood, your chair scraping softly against the floor. βI should probably head out,β you said, a hint of reluctance in your voice.
Spencer stood with you, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. He didnβt want the night to end, not yet.
As you reached for your bag, Spencer hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, his hand brushing lightly against yours. The contact made you pause, your eyes meeting his.
βY/Nβ¦β His voice was quiet but firm, his usual nervousness softened by something deeper. βI donβt want to wait another ten years to see you again.β
The sincerity in his words made your chest tighten. You smiled, warmth flooding your features as you reached up and gently pushed a strand of his longer hair out of his face. βYou wonβt have to, Spence,β you said softly.
For a moment, it was just the two of you, the noise of the bar fading into the background. Spencerβs lips curled into a rare, boyish grin, the kind you hadnβt seen in years, as you slipped your hand into his.
It wasnβt a grand gesture, but it didnβt need to be. As the two of you walked toward the exit together, his hand still resting in yours, it felt like the first step toward something youβd both been waiting for, even if neither of you realized it until now.
And for Spencer, for the first time in years, the world felt just a little brighter.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
spencer reid x fem!reader ( platonic or romantic x )
prompt : one leaning their head onto the other's shoulder suddenly and they just freeze
ππππππππππ
i made a playlist specifically for this concept which you should definitely check out -> here <-
the jet was quiet aside from the peaceful rumbling of the plane's engine lulling everyone to sleep.
emily and derek were both fast asleep propped up in the chairs in the centre of the plane.
jj was sat next to the brunette skimming over case files while hotch and rossi were having a quiet discussion at the other end of the plane.
which left you and spencer sat next to eachother, with an earphone in each of your ears while some music played through them.
after cases the plane tended to get quiet and you could never stand it, so very early on in your bau career, you had made a playlist specifically for the plane ride back to virginia.
nothing too loud or happy as you weren't always in the best mood, everything soft and calming and just comforting.
after a particularly rough case a few years ago, everyone on the jet had been on edge and just quite melancholy since you left the police station.
and sat across from you, spencer looked the most out of it.
he's features looked sunken from the days without sleep poured over this case, yet his eyes were wide open. unable to fall asleep.
while he usually read on the plane, his book was discarded next to him on the couch.
you couldnt look at it anymore.
so you pushed yourself up from your place on the opposite couch and sat yourself next to him.
you offered him an earbud silently, not wanting to disturb anyone else on the plane.
when he hesitated, you explained.
" sitting here reliving it isn't going to help anything. it helps stop my mind wandering if i'm listening to something. " you said quietly, your other earbud still in your hand for him to take.
" thanks " was the soft response from him as he took it and settled it in his ear.
I can't forget that night, You said I looked like Suzi Quatro
In the morning light, faded to oblivion.
And I said, "That's alright, at least we feel alive"
At least we feel alive
There's nothing you can do
I know that I want this
No one likes to lose
Know that I got this.
the sultry tones of suki waterhouse banished almost all the thoughts of the last few days from his mind and instead he was focused on the sounds flowing through your earbud.
since then, it had become almost a tradition on the jet home.
one earbud each and a couch shared between you.
sometimes the two of you would talk while it played, other times you'd both be reading or even filling out paperwork.
but always on the plane home, you would listen to music together.
to the point where you would always just gravitate towards eachother on the jet as everyone made their way in. and everyone knew, not to block any way for the two of you to sit together.
everyone had their coping mechanisms for after cases, and they couldnt deny either of you yours.
especially considering it was such a healthy one.
this case had been a rough one though. you hadn't been able to save the unsub or his last victim and being right infront of him when he died just made it a lot more real.
his blood stained your shirt, and your skin.
it was spencer who helped you wash it off when you were a bit too dazed to move.
you sat closer than usual on the jet, the outside of your legs pressed against each others as the jet flew over a state you couldn't pinpoint.
after not sleeping for three days, you couldn't physically keep your eyes open. your eyes fell shut as the sound of the cranberries flooded your ear.
your head dropped onto the nearest surface, which happened to be spencer's shoulder to your left.
while you could feel your mind slipping off into unconsciousness, you felt the surface you had rested your head on almost flinch.
you lifted your head up, prying your eyes open as you realised what you had done.
" sorry, i haven't slept the last couple days. didn't mean to use you as a pillow " you apologised, lifting your hand to wipe under your eyes, attempting to wake yourself up a bit so it didn't happen again.
" no no, it's okay. just startled me " he replied. while his tone was still quiet, his voice was quiet.
" you're not usually so jumpy " you observed.
" didnt sleep too well either. " he admitted
" why don't you get some sleep ? it's gonna be a while until we get back to quantico "
he pondered it for a few minutes before ultimately shaking his head and muttering a quiet ' i'm good '
you knew why he didnt want to sleep. it was the same reason you didnt sleep after a particularly tough case for spencer.
to make sure he was okay. protect him.
" you can sleep, spence. i'm fine " you punctuated your point by dropping your hand down onto his thigh in a light pat.
" i will if you will "
with that promise, you settled your head down against his shoulder again, his head taking moments to rest ontop of yours.
the comforting words of delores o'riordan comforting the two of you as you drifted off into a comfortable and safe slumber.