#clover's reflection

i desperately need to do an inanimate insanity fandub with my brothers. i think that would the funniest and most enjoyable thing ever... i'd be clover of course :)

in addition to seeing the tadc finale, my dad and i are gonna do a sherlock-holmes-themed escape room! i'll get to be detective clover once again!!

it's funny thinking about me and nickel... i've really enjoyed being his friend and seeing him grow! well, it's also funny i should say "his" and "him", as i'm getting the distinct impression that nickel's transfem and hasn't realized it yet hehe... i suppose until he/she finds out for him/herself i'll keep using masculine terms :P but i know i'm right! call it a lucky guess all you want!! hehe. anyway, i also get the distinct impression that he has a crush on me? he's my widdle admirer :) i know he'd never admit it... and i feel bad, since i don't like him like that: especially if he turns out to be a boy! but i suppose if nickel ever does transition i might have to reconsider... shh! don't tell him that!! hehe :'D

it's sort of an odd thing to say but one of the things that makes me feel the most kin euphoria(?) as clover is being a fortunate person... i identify with clover in part because of my own lucky streak and privilege. for example, i have the luxury of having a father who's happy to indulge me in my interests (he watched all of the amazing digital circus so he can see the finale with me in theaters a couple days from now): not everybody has that, and i'm very, very grateful for it and everything like it in my life. at the same time, though, it's hard to fully call it euphoria when this sort of experience, in making me feel like myself as clover, inevitably comes with some level of guilt too :')