#close readings

BUT. when i sat down, all i knew is that i wanted to include “on this day in history” and something about jericho. idk why jericho -- but it popped into my head. hence starts the series of “threads” or “circles” to set up a thematic cadence throughout the fic. so let’s take a look at all the different threads: 

the walls of jericho -- a historically real location, however in the book of joshua it was said that the israelites destroyed the wall by circling it once per day for the first six days and then seven times on the final day, and they blew trumpets and shouted and brought the wall down with nothing but their voices. this imagery was very specifically important to me bc it reminded me of the scene in the anime when karasuno loses to aoba johsai and it said something along the lines of “their cheers/voices will haunt us” or like. something like that -- the sound of their laughter blah blah blah. so this is the baseline for this first thread. 

the terracotta warriors -- when emperor qing shi huang died, he commanded more than 8,000 (eight tHOUSAND!!!!) terra cotta warriors to be buried with him to accompany him on his journey to the other side. the baseline imagery here being “the emperor” (kageyama being called king), and also the concept of burying things with people as a funeral rite. 

the library of alexandria -- one of the largest and most significant collections of knowledge in the ancient world. it’s actually a myth that it burned down -- it didn’t. it slowly diminished over time. but for the sake of the story, a library burning down seems quite the image, no? so that’s why i kept the modern myth of it burning down. this baseline is set for the concept of the “destruction of language or knowledge” 

those are the 3 we start with, but immediately after, the fic goes on to detail kageyama’s initial confusion as to why you, the reader, would think history so interesting. and then right after, we get 3 more “threads” --

pompeii -- an ancient city located near the volcanic mountain vesuvius, which erupted in 79 ad and the volcanic ash preserved literally the entire city at the moment of eruption. it’s a very haunting site (note, the concept of haunting for later). and the “sky broke over the earth” is meant to highlight that experience of literally having the sky fall down around the people who lived there, and to be trapped beneath it forever. 

titanic -- a hopefully very familiar piece of history! a huge luxury ship said to be “unsinkable”, hit an iceberg and well -- sank. it’s said that the captain didn’t even try to get off the ship bc in sailing, “the captain always goes down with the ship”. 

hiroshima -- a closer bit of history than the rest, for sure -- the bombings of hiroshima and nagasaki effectively ended ww-2. the nuclear fallout of those bombings has defined nuclear warfare for the rest of literal history. and to this day, those bomb sites are considered too dangerous to visit without proper radiation-protection. 

now we have all six “threads” and the story can progress. 

in the next couple of paragraphs, kageyama starts to realize that once you know something, it’s impossible to “unknow” it -- that's why knowledge is power and history is the best place to look for that knowledge. 

he wonders “ what it would feel like if the earth broke from beneath his feet, and the sky shattered into fire and smoke. he wonders if the ocean is every bit as unforgiving as the stories say” in reference to pompeii and titanic. here we see the first repetition of previously mentioned “threads”. the next lines provide a bit of wholistic context -- he wonders if people also admired the shadow of “linked hands in the dying light” -- what this line does is that it makes history less linear. because if you think about it (as kageyama will start to) the people in history did what we are still doing. they lived and laughed and fell in love just as we do. 

they held hands and pondered on the impossibilities of forever. just as we do. so history is not so far away as it seems. 

then, we see the seijoh loss. and we see kageyama reflecting upon his mistakes in a mirror of humanity in general, looking back on their own mistakes, the anger and frustration. the if-only syndrome. 

and then once more, ocean imagery when he cries in “there’s salt on his lips from god knows where. maybe, he thinks, maybe it’s the ocean.” titanic. 

and then, we see the development of a concept in “were there really wildflowers” in ref to the reader telling kageyama about wildflowers growing mere weeks after hiroshima. here, this is important because we see his acknowledgment of progress in spite of defeat. of life in spite of the belief that places like hiroshima and nagasaki can now only ever offer the hollow echo of death. 

and then, the development of some other concepts in the following lines -- “do you think the houses in pompei are haunted?” where we’re now introducing a new subconcept of hauntings to the original concept of pompeii. but then, the reader says “i don’t think there’s a single house in this world that isn’t haunted, but how do you know that the ghosts aren’t friendly?” in which we are turning the popular notion of “ghosts” and “hauntings” from bad to possibly good. 

this is illustrative of the fact that history can be viewed in one of two ways -- the traditional way, or a more modern perspective. the study of history is all about the conversion of certain concepts into other ones -- to learn from your mistakes in essence, is to take something bad, and make it a good thing. so here, that line from reader, takes hauntings and makes it more about “memories” -- in that well, there’s not a single house in the entire world that doesn’t have its own history. because people have lived there. and then the concept of friendly ghosts -- bc how do you know that all ghosts are malevolent? you don’t. you just assume. 

kageyama then says “yeah, maybe” -- character development. he’s learning. 

and in the next paragraph again, touching on the terracotta warriors concept of “count his wins and losses like tally marks across his skin, paint all his achievements on the sides of vases to be buried with him when he dies” and then onto “his entire legacy will be one of falling, will be a ship sinking, or an entire library going up in flames” to touch on hiroshima (falling bombs) titanic and the library of alexandria again. 

here we see kageyama wondering on the subject of legacy -- which is something that is very closely tied to the concept of history. because history is the study of what was left behind. you can’t study something we have no knowledge OF, so everything we DO have is a legacy left to us by the people who were there. 

and all those legacies seem to be ones of failure -- ships sinking, libraries burning down, bombs and volcanoes erupting. BUT, in the next line kageyama makes the breakthrough we talked about before in rediscovering history and making it something good -- something to learn from. 

“but even then, at least there will still be people like you, who are going to run their hands across his chest like a centerfold, kiss his mouth like reliving history, as if there’s still something in him worth seeking and learning and knowing.”

the “run their hands across his chest like a centerfold” is ref to the very beginning of the fic where the reader runs her hand across the centerfold of a history book. 

and then we get to the resolution of the fic in “maybe he’ll be friendly ghost, and give advice to everyone who comes to visit whichever house he’s decided to haunt.” here, we see that ghost and haunting concept come up again. and we see him actively deciding that his legacy will not be one of loss and devastation -- 

“he’ll tell them that losing will feel like the end of the world, will feel like drowning, or the earth breaking out from under you and the sky going up in smoke, will feel like very single wall crumbling down at nothing but the sound of your opponents’ voices, but it will not be the end.” 

here we see a lot of the imagery come back in titanic, pompeii, hiroshima, and most importantly jericho. and it’s here that we kind of get that feeling of “the voices of your opponents” not your “enemies” so we know that he’s talking more about volleyball and seijoh. and finally, “but it will not be the end”, signaling the growth and renewal of his conception of not only history but also of his own actions and losses and mistakes in life. 

and the fic ends with: 

“because there’s always tomorrow, and the day after. and maybe, in a few days or weeks or months, there will even be wildflowers.” 

as a final nod to hiroshima. and the fact that no matter the losses and deaths, history is nothing if not the study of life, and how against innumerable odds and the slimmest of chances, we as a race have always managed to keep on living. 

history is often painted as the stories of winners and losers, but personally, to me, and through this fic -- i wanted to portray the fact that it doesn’t have to be. because to me, history has always been the singular human experience of survival. and of how we continue to live and to thrive. 

it ends here because now kageyama no longer thinks of his defeat as a loss, but as something from which new life can grow. and! that’s what happens in the anime too! u__u 

so, this is one of the fics that i’ve written that has the most active “circles” or “threads” that goes through it. i usually do not have this many LOL. but idk for some reason, this fic just drew it out of me. and i loved it. i loved writing it, and i rly enjoyed going back and breaking it down for you guys! 

i def did not outline anything when i was writing tho lol u__u i’m nowhere near that oganized. im shocked that i managed to mention each concept at least twice, even tho some of them might have merged a little bit in the fic. but! still. 

First, some context: I was never an Aaron Carter fan; I only knew a few of his songs and I didn't like them. As such, I never owned any of his CDs- but I did have three beloved Radio Disney CDs (which I still listen to, if we're being perfectly honest with ourselves), and one of them contained the song "Oh Aaron". Since it was a CD, and I had a Walkman, I wouldn't always bother to skip it, so I became fairly familiar with the lyrics. Once I downloaded the CDs, I ditched the song- but it always stayed in my memory. Some time ago I mentioned it to my mom and sister and, finding them ignorant of this piece of musical genius, educated them, and along the way remembered how truly weird this song is.

Now, some background: "Oh Aaron" was a collaboration between Aaron Carter and his brother Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys (I was, and am, a fan of the Backstreet Boys), on Aaron's third studio album, titled Oh Aaron and released during the summer of 2001. They also released an Aaron Carter action figure at this time. Truly, Wikipedia is the gift that keeps on giving.

Now, without further ado, I present a close reading of Aaron Carter's "Oh Aaron":

[Aaron:] Well, I guess the best way for me to begin is The other day I was hanging with some friends.

This is, in fact, an excellent way to begin a story- and "Oh Aaron" is really a story (dare I say, a narrative journey) more than a song, as you'll soon see. Aaron provides the setting, the cast, and an approximate timeline in a single line- very efficient.

Going around the room talking about our favorite noise I said I had a brother in the Backstreet Boys.

Referring to music as "noise" is a bit of a stretch to my 2017 sensibilities, but I'll willing to believe this was acceptable slang in 2001. I'm also willing to consider that there was actually a segue in between these two lines that Aaron cut for efficiency, because otherwise, he's presenting himself as insufferable. "So, what music do you like?" "Well, my brother is a BACKSTREET BOY so I guess I like THE BACKSTREET BOYS since I'm related to a BACKSTREET BOY".

So everyone screamed [Group of Kids:] Hey, is this some kinda trick?

This part, I'm more doubtful of. If someone told me that they were related to someone famous, my first instinct wouldn't be to scream that they were trying to trick me. I think a more logical response would be a casual, "You're joking!" or an excited, "Wow, really?" But according to Aaron, EVERYONE screamed, and this is what they screamed.

[Dopey Guy:] Yea, which one is he? [Aaron:] The blonde one, Nick.

Moment of silence for this man, who will go down in history as "Dopey Guy". But this is a stupid question: siblings don't always have the same last name, but there's a Backstreet Boy named Carter and your friend's last name is Carter, so that's almost definitely the one. And Dopey had to have known the names of the Backstreet Boys, since EVERYONE was so shocked and thrilled by this news that they all screamed. If you're screaming, you know their names. (Side note: My memory told me that the line was "Hey is this some kind of dream," which does not rhyme with Nick, so that was clearly never going to be right- Aaron Carter has more respect for music than that.)

Then the cutest girl said: [Girl:] I have to see their show But I have no ticket, Aaron How can I go?

GOLD! DIGGER! Either she already liked the Backstreet Boys, and would have known to get tickets beforehand, and is now lying about not understanding how concerts work to see if Aaron will get her a ticket, or she does NOT like the Backstreet Boys, and just wants Aaron to get her a ticket. Either way, he should no longer hang out with her.

[Aaron:] Your wish is my command. See it's no problem, hon, In fact I'll get some tickets here for everyone All I gotta is pick up the celly And its a done deal, Let me call Nick and tell him.

Remember when I said Aaron knows how to rhyme? I change my mind. Neither "celly" nor "deal" rhymes with "him". And "celly" is not a word anyone has ever used in the history of ever, especially in front of "the cutest girl".

[Other Guy:] By the way Aaron, if you could, while you're at it Can you hook up some seats For my friends and my parents? [Aaron:] So I said to myself, well heck, why not? There's nothing that can beat the connection I got.

Dopey Guy, Girl, and Other Guy- the trio of dreams! I love how this guy doesn't even try to soften the blow here: "Yeah, can I have some tickets for my actual friends, instead of you losers?" Like, he could have said "my other friends" or "my school friends" or even "my soccer team". But this savage went right for "friends". Maybe he's bitter that Aaron never bothered to learn his name, and just refers to him as "Other Guy". This is perhaps why Aaron immediately agrees to the plan. It's worth pointing out that in the music video, "Dopey Guy" and "Other Guy" appear to be the same guy, which I think is even more insulting.

[Chorus (girls):] Aaron, Oh Aaron What are you going to do? You make empty promises oh so big ([Aaron:] Man) How gonna make them come true? ([Aaron:] I don't know) Aaron, Oh Aaron, What are we going to do with you? Always a makin' a bigger mistake Always a-makin' a fool ([Aaron:] Yo, I gotta make a phone call)

The fact that Aaron wasn't in control of his own chorus always amazed me, especially because these girls are NOT nice to him. I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve to be called out for promising concert tickets to a large group of people without asking Nick first, but this is his song. These ladies just come in and drag him, not just for this misstep but for always making missteps. (Perhaps they're offended that they haven't been declared "the cutest girl".) Also, I don't know if you clicked the link to listen to the song, but the girls sing in a bizarre sort of "Caribbean inspired" (I'm using the language people who think stuff like this is okay would use, not my language) accent for no discernible reason.

[Ring] [Nick:] Hello? [Aaron:] Hey Nick I need a favor from you, dude, I promised people tickets, So you gotta come through.

While the request is a little demanding and a little desperate, this isn't too bad. Aaron realizes that he's asking a favor; he isn't owed anything. While he shows no remorse for promising tickets before asking permission and then puts the responsibility of satisfying his friends on Nick, it's reasonable to assume he's a little shaken from his encounter with the faux-reggae women who swooped in and tore him to shreds just moments before. My bigger issue is where he is while making this call. In the music video, he's still surrounded by people. If he's trying to win the greedy harpy cutest girl's heart, this was not the way to do it- he should either have come up with a strategy that wasn't begging, or made the call private.

[Nick:] Sure, bro...how many do you need?

Luckily, Nick is totally cool about the situation and seems more than happy to provide the tickets; his only question is how many Aaron wants. Brother of the Year award goes to Nick Carter. As an aside, I Googled Nick Carter and realized I had absolutely no idea what he looked like, at all. I would not have been able to pick him out of a lineup if my life depended on it.

[Aaron:] 1...2...uh, 3003.

Okay. So. That's an extreme amount of tickets. Let's do some math here: In the beginning of the video, Aaron is shown with what appears to be eight friends. Later, they show a bigger crowd, but that seems more like an unrelated gathering that happened to be at the same park, so let's go with eight. Aaron promises tickets for each friend's family and other friends. While the number of friends a person has may vary, we'll assume that each friend has as many other friends as Aaron has original friends. So each friend has eight friends: 8 friends * 8 additional friends equals 64 tickets. Now, for families- according to data from the 2000 census (the closest to 2001, when the song was released), the average American family had 1.86 children. Some of Aaron's friends may come from bigger families (Aaron himself has four full siblings, including a twin, and two half siblings), so we'll round up to two children per family, add both parents, subtract the friend (who already has a ticket) and come up with the following: 3 family members * 8 friends equals 24 tickets. Let's turn that to 30 with the assumption that at least one friend has stepparents and stepsiblings, and we get = 64 + 30 + 1 (for Aaron) = 95 tickets, which is nowhere NEAR the 3,003 Aaron requested. I think he's going to try and sell them on the side for a profit. That, or he's unbelievably bad at simple math.

[Nick:] WHAT?!

Nick, I'm right there with you.

I can get you maybe a dozen, You can't promise seats to everyone and their cousin. What did you do? How'd you get in this mess? [Aaron:] I was talkin to this girl... [Nick:] Hold your breath, I know the rest.

Let me point out first that twelve tickets to a concert is nothing to sneeze at, and will cover everyone in the original group with three tickets to spare. Even faced with this absurd demand, Nick is trying to help out and be understanding. I bet the Caribbean Chorus is a lot nicer to him, because he deserves it.

Guess you better get yourself a whole lotta money. [Aaron:] For 3000 tickets? Nick, that's isn't funny. How'm I supposed to pull that off in so little time?

Can you imagine being one of those three people that Aaron automatically kicked off the ticket list? I can't decide which is worse; that he immediately ditched these three poor souls, or that he could only think of three people to leave off. At this point, only eight people know they've been promised tickets. Wouldn't it make sense to cut your losses and accept the twelve tickets? After all, your friends still get to the go to the concert themselves; I doubt they'll be that concerned that their other friends can't go with them.

[Nick:] You got me, Aaron That's your problem...not mine.

Even a saint's patience can wear thin. Nick has done all he can; I think it's completely fair to put this one back on Aaron.

[Chorus (girls):] Aaron, Oh Aaron ([Aaron:] What do I do?) What are you going to do? You make empty promises oh so big ([Aaron:] What?) How gonna make them come true? Aaron, Oh Aaron, ([Aaron (annoyed):] What?) What are we going to do with you? ([Aaron:] I don't know) Always a makin' a bigger mistake ([Aaron:] So, it was just one mistake) Always a-makin' a fool. ([Aaron:] Whatever)

Aaaand they're back! Same horrible accents, same atrocious grammar. Even though Aaron got himself into this mess, I think he's justified in being annoyed that these woman have appeared to harass him while he's trying to think of a solution.

[Aaron:] How in the world can he do that to me? I thought we were blood. I thought we were family.

Actually, no, I take that back. If Nick promised x number of tickets and then didn't come through, Aaron would be justified in his anger. But even then, this is a little extreme. "I thought we were family" is what you say when your brother seduces your wife or betrays you to the police (In this scenario, you were both running a criminal enterprise and he turned on you and became an informant. After three years, the FBI raids the warehouse where you keep the counterfeiting supplies, and your first thought is "At least I can save my loyal brother and insist he had nothing to do with this, thus saving him from a life in prison." But then he comes in the door with the FBI captain, and they shake hands and the captain congratulates and thanks him, and as you're lead away in handcuffs, he tells you he seduced your wife.)- it's not a reasonable response to being denied 3,000 concert tickets (again, RIP in pieces to those three people who were so thoughtlessly cast from the guest list).

We're gettin' to the show. We'll get good seats. Everyone on the bus, you're all coming with me. I'm tellin' you guys when we get to the gate, He can never say "no" when he looks at my face. Hook me up! Nick, Man, I swear I'll pay you back.

I could say something about how horribly rude this is, and how it's a terrible strategy to drag your friends along to try and coerce your brother into obeying you, and the cutest girl will not be impressed when she sees you get shut down, but all I can think about is 3,000 people getting on a single bus. "Hi, Sal, it's me. Listen, I'm going to need a bigger car. Make it a stretch... in fact, make it a super stretch."

[Nick:] Well come to think about, we need an opening act.

Mmmmm. Let's think about this. On the surface, this checks out: Aaron wants tickets for his friends, which Nick can get. Nick wants an opening act, which Aaron can provide. It seems like a perfect trade. Only, two things: first, how did they get this close to the start of the concert without the opening act that they "need"? Was the original act run over by the super stretch bus full of 3,000 people? Did something happen backstage, and they need to buy some time before performing; hence, the sudden need for more entertainment? Second, and more importantly, where are the 3,000 seats going to come from? Or the space to fit an additional 3,000 people? If the spots were there, and Nick turned Aaron down fifteen minutes before the show started, when there was no hope of making any more money on the tickets, that's a little messed up. You can't just magic up 3,000 seats. What is the truth?!

[Aaron:] What do you want me to do: tell jokes; dance; act?

"Act." Yes, Aaron Carter, this crowd of Backstreet Boys fans will absolutely love it if you go out there and perform Hamlet's soliloquy. "How gonna make them come true- that is the question."

[Nick:] Nah, I want you on stage, I want you to rap. 'Cause if you don't you're gonna have some disappointed friends And by the way you're on at eight, that's when the show begins.

Nick somehow comes up with an even worse idea than acting- this white, fourteen year old pop star is going to rap.

[Chorus (girls):] Aaron. Oh, Aaron, what are you going to do? ([Aaron:] Man) You make big promises oh so big How you gonna make it come true? ([Aaron:] One promise man) Aaron. Oh, Aaron, What are we going to do with you? ([Aaron:] I'm desperate) Always a-makin' a bigger mistake ([Aaron:] I'm desperate, Man [squeak]) Always a-makin' a fool.