#clone babies

Bruce: You need to tell the rest of the family, but mostly Dick.

Tim: why...?

Bruce, remembering how mad Dick got when he didn't tell him about Jason or literally any other kid: just trust me, it's not worth it

Tim: but I haven't told Kon yet *biggest pouty face ever made*

Bruce: Tim, he's still dead... isn't he?

Tim: I mean... for now.

Bruce:

Tim: FINE. Give her back to me then.

Bruce: ... five more minutes?

*Later:*

Dick: Hey guys, what was so important I had to get here so quick? Is everyone okay? Did someone... y'know?

Bruce: Opposite, actually.

Tim: I had a baby

Dick: you fucking what.

Tim: I had baby.

Tim: lil bubba

Tim: I made it myself :)

Tim, holding up his baby girl: see!

Dick, rapidly going through several emotions at once before letting out such a high pitched squeal that Clark Kent breaks a mug out of shock: A BABY!!!

Tim: a baby!

Bruce: a baby...

Damian, who had come out of his room as soon as he saw that Dick had gotten to the house via his trackers: a baby?

Tim: not for you, go away

Bruce: Tim.

Tim: what? She may have been a scientific miscalculation but she is mine and I will not risk her being stabbed by your miscalculation baby.

Damian: what did you just call me?!

Tim: you heard me!

The baby stirring and whining:

Tim: shhh, it's okay little one. Did Damian's shouting upset you? That's very mean of him, isn't it? It's okay, it's okay

Dick: omg im an uncle

Tim: yes you are!

Dick: and who's the mother?

Tim: 1 am.

Dick: oh... okay, then who's the dad?

Tim, in all seriousness: Kon.

Dick, naturally assuming Kon came back to life like people do all the time: oh, he's back?

Bruce, making a silencing motion:

Tim, trying not to cry: not yet...

Damian: I am confused, why does Drake have a child?

Bruce: he was trying to clone his dead best friend and accidentally mixed his DNA with one of the subjects and made a clone hybrid baby.

Dick: more like dead situationship but okay

Damian: oh, like my brother but an acciden

Bruce: your WHAT?

Tim: yeah! But she's going to grow up like a normal human/kryptonian clone baby and not in like a week.

Damian: very well, I will craft some training weapons for her so she can at least have a chance fitting into this family.

Tim: no the fuck you will not Tim: I mean fudge

Damian: she will also grow up without a father apparently.

Tim: oh like Slade is a better option? And also, so did you???

Damian: beside the point. This baby will be too much like its parents, you are better to let someone else raise her so she won't be a blubbering fool.

Tim: BLUBBERING FOOL?!

Dick: hold on, go back-

Bruce: so l don't have a second blood son?

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a n when you practically weren't raised at all, 1 other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Damian: and anyway, you can hardly be a mother when you practically weren't raised at all, I on the other hand was raised by an exceptional woman-

Tim: oh HELL no

Tim: first of all, my parents have nothing to do with how I myself will parent! I will be everything in wanted to have and I will not let my baby girl feel unloved for a single second of her life, thank you very much.

Tim: secondly, you're saying that Taliah is a good role model for parenting? When was the last time you spoke to her that didn't involve her using your or Bruce for your granddaddy? Huh?

Damian: ...

Tim: that's what I thought.

Bruce: maybe we should calm-

Tim: and anyway, now that I'm a mother I understand a lot more and I'm not letting you raise my kid because you are a kid, Damian. I know your almost fifteen but that doesn't change the fact that you have Child Developmental Syndrome as well as severe CPTSD and deserve to be carefree and not hold as many responsibilities as some people, *glares at Bruce* seem to think is okay!

Tim: so, no, you can't take my baby but you can be in her life because while I still kind of hate you and think you should suffer for trying to kill me and cutting my line, I can truely see now that you are a baby yourself.

Tim: now, who is going to help me pick out a paint for the nursery l'm making at my apartment?

Damian: ...

Bruce: ...

Dick, who has been slowly inching forward to try hold the baby: ...

Damian, still seething but also a little... honoured?: may I suggest the colour China Rose?

It will go well with the rest of your apartment.

Tim, smiling happily and rocking his baby: good idea!

Tim: Dick, you can hold her while I find Alfred.

Dick: oh thank god, gimme, gimme, gimme, oh hi baby!!! Oh, just look at those chubby wittle cheekies~! Aren't you the most precious wittle thing? Yes you are! You are! Awww!!

Bruce: I forgot to ask, do you have a name?

Tim: oh yeah... that's a thing

Dick and Bruce, integrally: *He is not going to be able to do this alone.*

ーーーーー

QUESTION: what should the baby be called?????

Also wonder how long it will take to end up on

Notes: No warnings. Fluff, family dynamics, extreme flirting, if you've seen the tiktok you know where this is from.

"Move out of the way."

"There is no room!"

"There would be if Stak moved his big butt."

"Hey!"

"Just keep scrubbing the dishes, Deke!"

The Boys through the ages.

I saw you were looking for art prompts and may I suggest Foxiyo with a babies. Just an itty bitty babies (can you tell I'm a sucker for babies lol)

Stay hydrated!!

it took them a long time to make just one (1) baby, and he’s already tired 🥹

What happened with the clone cadets and babies?! I mean they took them from Kamino but they are training storm troopers now not young clones. We can't see them anywhere, the Commandos not training them, we didn't see them in Mount Tantiss...

WHERE ARE THEY?! WHERE ARE THE KIDS AND BABIES?! ARE THEY OKAY?! ARE THEY SAFE?!

He's got baby Helena on his hip and Lizzie clinging to his side even dropping on adult conversations. Lian and Mar'i are sucking up to the older ladies so they can con sweet treats and hard candy from them. Jake and Ellie (Stephanie's daughter whom I named Elizabeth way before I knew about Diana's daughter) are colouring at a table together quietly.

And Bruce can't stop talking about his babies and grandbabies. And he's showing all the other rich socialites cute little photos and everyone's just gushing over how cute they are.

And they all look so adorable in their little outfits too!! Dressing them all up and taking photos at the gala and just gloating over how these kids are the best kids, even better than all the other socialites kids/grandkids.

And obviously this won't last long, soon the little ones will be whining about how boring the galas are and Bruce will have to find new people to drag along with him. But I definitely think Lian and Mar'i will keep coming for as long as they can milk the adorable little girl acts to fill their pockets with treats.

Dick is probably a little disappointed at Mar'i but it's not like he didn't do the exact same thing himself so he'd be a hypocrite for telling her off. Jason and Roy just high five Lian with a laugh and ask her to share the goods she collected with them.

Also like Bruce going to their school or sports things whenever he can get the time to do so. He's one of those mom types that are convinced their kids are the best in the play or on the soccer field and he gets really bitchy about other mums who do the exact same thing.

And obviously Bruce pays for all there school fees to get them into good education. He spoils the little ones absolutely rotten.

Like the kids at school will be like "oh yeah my grandparents gave me $500 for Christmas so I could choose whatever I wanted". And Jake is like "yeah well my grandpop got me a real motorbike and a phone!"

Holy hell does Dick parental lock the shit out of that phone btw. He also knows Bruce has a tracker on it because he's paranoid about the little ones getting hurt or something. Which is contradictory to the fact he got the kid an actual kid-sized motorcycle. Dick is not happy. Kori thinks it's awesome.