Him: are you okay?
Me: yeah
Me, internally: Hey poopy, I'm Andy Patton of the East Chicago harbor in Indiana, before reading about my indiana jones lifestyle, have a go at tetris which is about to load, make a high score, and use my page just like your personal black and white gameboy, and relax with me like i'm your lazyboy barcalounger!!
[Here comes the game] Source: Crazy Games
........... I got a pell grant for film school because i'm poor and might choose Chicago University this fall or winter. i'm single baby!!! But not in the sense where i'm fucking other people n shit, its been 6yrs not being with a woman, I've had 8 dates since jail and got to kiss and hug a girl but that was years ago, I miss human touch, i'm scarred from heartbreak but also i don't succumb to lonesomeness and have someone beside me for the time being as a renter to my heart, i seek love and not fingerbangs, i'm a novelist of dozens of books (details in my publshed folder on my facebook .com/boathopper page, add me)..... I have 1,000+ short films, 3 films, one of them i killed 80 actors in, its called 'the tenderizer' and it had a zero budget which raked in a few grand of clothing/vhs tape sales.....i have a fantasy novel that can be read in its entirety for free at http: //shakeyquakeyridenovel.blogspot.com/ and it could be bigger than harry potter but nobody reads anymore.... and i have another book you can read for free at http://platdnovel.blogspot.com/ ........... i had a script in hollywood bounced around called boathopper which is science fiction about a monster slamming into our oceans, but the serial killer described in it is identical and predates the 'dexter' book and show, and yes its copywritten just like the rest of my sampled work, stephen king even samples me, and i've overtaken him in quantity as well in my opinion as quality, i'm to the point and don't drag on bullshit fluff for too long, to see more about the dexter narrative and incredible journey your detections could take just youtube 'andyp's arduous travels of an unrenound serial killer'. my body is caked and dented in scars, lacerations and holes because i'm a good person, a strong person, doing good things in a horrible place, this earth, but i'm retired and yet i haven't even begun, i'm the type of person that's been all over the world killing warlords and thousands of the cruelest people known to exist, so the mysteriousness is lain in this, am i a serial killer? or just a shadow operative navy seal?........ i've had troll blogs devote themselves to me before, but here's one that's the most recent, i love my haters suhn https://kiwifar.ms/threads/andy-patton-aka-clivedavinci-loveshy-filmmaker-who-is-apparently-the-true-creator-of-dexter.11274/ ........i really am a mass murderer, my reins controlled by the police, and knowledge of me by other precincts one by one, year by year, being like an internal affairs of hitmen for them, to the most redtape entanglements that bother each depeartment, all secret, commissioned by a government program later, and then after my r.o.t.c i took out of highschol, where i aimed high towards the air force the seals nabbed me out of the air force, my intellect and my physical attributes is extremely rare, i could’ve easily gotten a wrestling scholarship to purdue after i had a walk on match with a dude from iowa and slammed his huge cornfed ass to the mat so hard he got hurt, i realized i can’t be invovled in regular heights of the elite, i couldn’t go backwards from what i had became, since i was a boy i’ve been in china in training programs, i honestly led a life just like d.a.r.y.l the movie, exept i wasn’t a robot, even figuratively in the sense of a sociopathic mindless servant or psycho, i was bombarded by compassionate teachings, my mother a police officer the leadrope to all of this, allowing this, she’s caught serial killers and crimelords, and one time it backfired, horrible men came and abducted me, and tortured me, they bordered on white supremecy and satanists, my mom didn’t find me that long month, the police didn’t find me, this was even in a newspaper, but all knowledge of this ever happening has been redacted and destroyed, nobody could find me, i was 6yrs old, three powerful men sexualy abused me, physically burned me, broke my bones, my rectum had been split open, i was beaten purple with my eyes swollen every couple days when i started to heal, where they would bust me up again, nobody knew where i was, on one of the most high profile cases my mom ever took, she did come to rescue me with the murderers in the house still there, in their total ignorance of evil and what they can get away with, with a young innocent boy, they left their knife that they cut me with on the mattress 3 seconds too long, and i turned into chucky, i snapped, i had absolutely no fear, i didn’t wanna run out of a door, blood pooled all over the floor, it was always my blood, seeing your reflection in your own pool of blood as you cry for help night after night as you lay to try to get comfy to sleep which you can’t becuase you’re bruised all over, does something to someone, something snaps, like how a virgin’s skin does when a scumbag pops their cherry, i became chucky, i had developed tactical defense, and didn’t keep stabbing one of them, i sliced one of them down crying, then hid and waited for the next and sliced him, and i waited many hours in the house, not leaving, not picking up the phone yet, waiting for the other to arrive, in the dark i came at him, where he had no time to react, i climbed and took the bulbs out, and easily made my way to get him too before he saw the scene int he bedroom, i sliced away his achilles as i jutted out behind a couch, those long hours before he came and met his demise, i’d played, like a child with toys, but i played with my knife, a memento i still have, a murder weapon of the most grotesque, i stabbed at every part of their skin, i even kept one of them alive, and took out each of his eyes andn let him squirm around, something inside me took over, and it was GOOD as much as it had been horrible, it must’ve been something put there by god and vengence, and i finally called my mom and we talked on the phone, booking had listened in, her friends, i explained but they were confused, i told them they were still in the house with me and they can come over,i couldn’t talk properly, i hadn’t really known what i’d done, it was like i was possessed, i blubbered crying on the phone just hearing her voice, she was the first one to the scene, there were other cops that came later, which contradicted a way out for me that she would have to face, her son, which the world woudln’t wanna face, and instituionalize me for, those cops got fired for something she had to fenagle, it was her son, or them, you’re forgetting that i was a murderer, although 6, doesn’t matter, all the murderers were stilll in the house, but they were all dead, and cut to pieces, and it took my mom probaby 10 full minutes to unclench my hand around my knife, and dthat was only because i allowed it, because we came to a truce where she’d let me keep it, it was a part of me now, it saved me, it helped me, it was my friend, yes i wrote a novel predating dexter called boathopper where its science fiction, but the myth of a dexter like child in blood had been passed around precincts long before that, it was covered up but there’s always trace gossip, it became a legend, i’ve worked in moscow with putin, i’ve been taught by spies, everytime i’m pulled over the cops freak out becuaase my rapsheet is so long, and that’s just in america, but i’m always a victim or witness, i’m always acting and protecting people, never a bad person, just misunderstood, all the cops protect me, all the agents, the stint i did in calif was my exes doing, i remember traveling ALOT, missing alot of school, but always coming back, pretending to be in school, hanging out with my friends, iwas bombarded by animals, i loved animals, i wasn’t a maniac to ever hurt one no matter my blood rage, but i was taken to villages a round the world to share love with good people and experiences, and to always train, and to even kill, i needed to kill, a lifetime of killing, decades of it, thousands of horriblly evil people around the world, especially china, india and the middleeast before soldiers ever got there, was my purpose in life, i could chameleon into any cell, or group, i was invisible and innocent, and with training i was a weapon, all my education when to combat and stealth and learning many languages, and i served my agency proud, and when i tried to resume a regular life i couldn’t, i was hurting people in sports, not really trying to, my training i held back on, and just used physical standards, but i had too much rage, its like i wanted to see people bleed, i’d been around the world helping animals, trained as an assassin, trained by seals, educated by scholars, there are good sects in this world when you’re facing incredible circumstnces, as well as bad sects like terrorists or satanists, and they caught wind and found my mom as she had sought something like them too, onlhy a few people know about this, after the rotc, i went to the air force for a few months, then leaped to the seals and i’ve been putting away badguys, and hopping back to the states for my character andn presence ever since, i’m a honed tactician, i’m beyond liam neeson, i’m a good person, i have compassion for everyone, but i have a screw loose, and i need love, and i’ll never find it, i’m calmed now and ptsd of wartime endevours you just get used to, compared to childhood traumas, i’m retired, vocalization and protest is what changes laws and leading by example helps animals in the world, i just need someone to spend my life with now, i had a good girl once, who was teetering on the side of cdraziness, enough crazy and cool to put up with me, but she was taken by this horrible world, i needed saved and she abandoned me, her best friend, i’m looking for someone new to come into my life and not be so fussy and close minded,k i’m still just a child needing affection, someone save me ......i'm the funniest person probably in the world in person, but i've gotten shy and reclusive the last decade, from my loved ones dissected and murdered in hospitals, to love stricken from me like a lightening bolt, i used to love dancing in clubs/weddings with any hot girl, but i could never dance again having lived the shit i've went through with my ex slowing metamorphasizing into a prostitute, and it began from the attention she got from me taking her out to clubs and being mixed in an elite environment and dancing with her making her feel a little bit too great to the point she needed to have that drug 24/7, so she slowly went out and forged it, dancing is the work of the devil i know see, its like that george michael song 'i'm never gonna dance again' love just gets taken from you and you become a bitter person because of it, i'm still funny, but it has to be the right setting, i have to be feeling good or buzzed or have a fleeting bliss of happiness, i can get really fucking dark sometimes to the point its scary, you mix i've been an eliete in sports amongst other things in my life, alongside my talented writing that's grosser and more depicting and original than anything clive or king could right, and you'll have a formula of fear, i mean one story i killed god himself, its on my fb in my notes titled 'the after', i've cursed god for the last couple decades of my life, not because i'm an atheiest or don't believe in a god entirely, but because if there was one, i figured he was absolute evil, like a parent abandoning children in a dingy motel or something, forced to fend for themselves because they don't know better, i have many thoughts on god but i'm a philosopher too, so that's a topic that can go on forever, for the most part, i vent, i'm fuming mad, but i'm the most passive human being you'll ever known, and the people beating upon me in life can attest to it, you see those vines or gifs with cats beating the shit out of large enormous strong dogs? well that's me, no matter what i'll never bite, i just seem to bark alot because i'm lonely, and still so heartbroken, i've never filled in that gap of a 'friend' or a 'fuckpal' or a partner in my life since my breakup, i'm not doing it right, like everyone else copes, i don't deal with death the same either, i'm careless to it and am enlightened to not get attached anymore, to anything, seeing dozens of my family put in the ground, it just takes a toll of carelessness, its something i don't want to deal with anymore, my cat was the height of all the bad in my life, a year ago my sister allowed this prostitute that was living next to me in my room to throw a fuckparty in the entire house, and my cat kidiot got outside, and this was when i was tossed out of that drughouse for not reason on top of it by the very multiple cops that were banging my sister, someone i cared about, and my cat kidiot who i've had a decade, got trapped and starved to death in a hot shed, just a glimpse at the kind of shit i have to go through ad cry over in my life, and its not because i'm a bad person, and its not from strangers, its from people closest to me, its always like that for me and i'm uncertain why........15 of my short films are pretty good, but maybe i'm just being modest and don't determine my worth properly,you'd have to type 'andyp's short films' to see some on multiple accounts, i'm always deleted, a rebel on youtube, i have a hellraiser script at hellraisernightshines.yolasite.com, another tumblr at clivedavinciromance ............ i was entering a finished 3rd horror feature into sundance but its incomplete, i made it by myself in a empty building when i was homeless, its under 'sundancers andyp's' on youtube, the 2nd part is the best, my 1st two features were generic slashers and don't count as serious, i'm finishing up another book, a fantasy novel i think will be bigger than harry potter...i WILL become larger than stephen king, and you wonder why i choose such a high totum to climb other than a smaller horror writer? well its because i've finished libraries of writing, novels and shorts, all the decades i've been alone and sad in a dark room as an introvert, what is dormant, and what is almost accomplished is more thatn king, almost, i need a few green miles and stand by me's first, and then i need a few other stories and books and i will have achieved more elaborate words than star wars or marvel combined, i just have to get them seen is all, tha'ts the hard/easy part......i hang out with my gay friends in portage, they're all i have in my life, my mexican bestie is leaving ot vegas, i don't have any other real friends, and no family left, i'm just all alone in the world, i drive a stupid car i spraypainted purple, i act like a retard because i want to filter through phony uptight people, i want a real cool, good girl, who doesn't fuck everyone like everyone in society does, i want a lover and rebel and fighter, not someone who's ordinary like my ex who breaks hearts and breaks herself off pieces of dick at any whim, i haven't kissed a girl in over 2 years. I'm not a sleazeball, i've only had 3serious long relationships, that means i've only had sex with 3 people, no additional fingerbangs or buttfuckings, maybe i kissed ten more girls, but that's it. I say heartfelt poems or perversion after almost every pic i reblog, so the history of my tumblr is quite a reading adventure. I'm a horror writer, here is a link to my newest collection of stories http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/reflections-in-the-dark/paperback/product-20340079.html I'm an animal activist.gay rights activist, civil rights activist and women's rights activist, BUT I differ in opinion about bisexuals, not for them personally, but from my own experiences of people being able to fuck how many people they want without consquence to character, the last time i checked if someone was unsure if they liked women or men more they weren't tasting all those crotches, they went about their business and didn't need a stamp that i feel is an equivalent to yelling 'hey i'm in bars fucking this guy, fucking that guy and i don't give a fuck', well that's fine, live how you want, but in your abundances of pussy/dick and indecision, i'm all alone, and i'd be humbled to just hold and love ONE PERSON, and that's were the idea of the 'title' not the 'person' bisexual comes into conflict with me, its saying 'i'm samantha from sex and the city and slopping up weiners and hot snatches left and right, so fuck you', i don't hate anyone, i'm understanding of nearly anything, i try my hardest to dissuade violence or hate in any way i can, i just think the terminology used to describe someone as a bisexual is just for show, if they don't know if they love and man or woman, who's to say they even love men or women? but their travels and undertakings of trying to find that out are being stamped and revealed for all the world to know about, and i don't dislike it, i just think its as tacky as me posting my boner videos in my underwear is all, its sleazy to your eyes, but you don't understand me right, like i woudn't understand you? in such perversion there is actual sweetness in me and reasons i do this crazy shit, bisexuals and their silly title which is basically just saying you're a hippi is just offputing to some, like me who had a girl i loved who became bisexual, yet all she's doing is fucking people for money, and i bet alot of people have sex and not for love and in doing that i'd never wanna be stamped with something, in a broad sense sure, but me, i'm an individual and i'm kind and good and accepting of all of you and love all of you so what the fuck matters our personal bickerings ya know?....... stupid groups of people like most feminists, most of what p.e.t.a does, truth anti smoking commercials, etc, bother me, because these consist mainly of spoiled brats not really doing anything, having a campus activity n shit, not empassioned deeper, not being in any form of fight, just a lap of luxery, forcing their beliefs or ways of life on you even if they are the most insane selfish things imagineable, i think i used to be bitter about hipsters too, just anyone who is phony as fuck, hell it could even be described as a rare unicorn of a girl i liked, doesn't matter, superficiality annoys me more than anything......... like i actually argue with people who do gangbangs and have swinger parties, could they honestly justify that disgusting shit to me, do it on your own time and leave me out of your sexcapades, seeing those depictions in 'bruno' or something, or me personally jacking off to threesomes n shit in porn is one thing but if you're gonna come on my page and bitch and moan i think that's 'sleazy' since it doesn't invovle TWO people, but instead involves multiple people, then you're just dumb,.............. i'm the most fucked up person alive, stranger by far of any human alive, i have an imaginative mind but i also have social skills, i know what its like being lonesome its why i hate when people just fuck tons of others, they spit at something i wish i had, they are gluttonous. My idols are Clive Barker, i made my art collection entirely out of scratch but i had him in mind to impress him, and i also made a book of short stories like his books of blood, i'm very similar to him, a huge fan, but it wasn't on purpose, its weird, its liked he fucked my mom in the 70's before he went gay or something, Stephen King, Kenny Hotz, Wayne Pacelle of the hspca, and others, even steve o and tom green. i'm the poorest person i know, yet i give my singles to bums, i'm selfless, i'm lazy, but when i have ambition like someone helping me, i'll create milestones. i make all my videos mostly in this loft at my moms house, i'm stuck here until my federal probation is up, not like i'll go anywhere else unless i get mental disability, i have no drive in life for average shit, i'm a creator, not an assembly line worker, i don't need the shit that money can buy, i'd never go to disneyland again even if someone bought me a package cause i think its extravagent and there are kids that will never see that place, i'd let them go in my place. i dislike snooty superficial people who act like they are better than you and are mean and bully and act like they're cool, when really they are fucking ignorant whiny brats in college or some shit trying to find their identities; they are jackoffs. so beware if you get offended by something i say, which is almost always a joke, cause i'll outdebate you and i'm VERY mean to bullies who get used to being tools in their normal lives with normal people, cause i'm not normal, i'm elite, cream of the crop, super large penis machoman, and i'm wittier, funnier and fucking the coolest fuck you'll ever know period, so bitches on their periods stand no chance either. My trolling book is blowing up, its sold 43 copies now, i've made it cheaper, black & white, so i'm making money now, DON'T USE CREATESPACE they are not creative friendly. you can find my large magazine type trolling book here.. http://www.lulu.com/shop/andrew-patton/trolling-101/paperback/product-20324152.html I've been raised by women without a father, i'm very feminine but strong, so don't turn me into an angry woman that will tell you off, but it takes alot to even get me mad, it just may seem i'm mad cause i'm pretty creative and outspoken, but really, i just laugh at your insults and bullying and i destroy anything you shit out with my verbal reckonings. I don't think i'm better than anyone, i'm kind to everyone, and that's what opens my mouth in the first place, is people attacking me or trying to bully me, it reminds me of how they could be doing it do someone else, like a gay kid, a black person, a woman, and it pisses me off. scene kids are the worst, almost like nazis cause they are a form of upper rich caste system that thinks they're better and they get snobby and uptight and its fucking annoying. I'm faithful,, sometimes romantic, sometimes funny genuine human. I dob not have anything in common with humans, I feel I'm more intelligent and its a burden being in a way, an ugly duckling. But I relate to morons too, because I am a stupid moron sometimes, I'm silly like that. next month i will have seen 10 psychiatrists in my life yet there's nothing even wrong with me.I'm the kind of person who would volunteer his head to a row of nazis so that others may live, i'm selfless. I'm also the kind of person who would be the ONLY one to stand up and risk not being hidden anymore, risk being killed by those nazis just to stand up to them. I'm a leader. I've led 100 of the world's worst maniacs in a jail cell for a year, I was on the back of a 7ft nigerian man preventing him from killing someone, I was a good person in a bad place, like jesus walking this shitty earth. Upon an apoclypse in 2012 i can lead the world to peace. i'm also the kind of person that is a fighter, i can be on my bloody knees before a dozen nazis and slice all their throats in moments before they know what's happening. I've only been with 3 girls, all long relationships and am still looking for my true soul mate on this planet, I've scavenged billions of galaxies looking and my search has ended here. You're here somewhere, I sense you. My ex got me put in jail to become a pornstar? She sent a threat to Kevin Spacey's website. The fuckers stole my movie 'The Thing' but made it shitty, read my synopsis or script at thethingfromanotherworld.webs.com. 2nd time feds kicked in my door, guns blazing, I told them my gf had shaved a penis in my chest hair, which she really did the night before, they looked and laughed and withdrew their guns out of our faces, I basically saved that crazy ex ponrstar, tattood bitch's life with my wittiness and her stupid art project she did on me when she was bored. Plus, having a lifesize darth maul figurine at the foot of my bed didn't really solidify to these saps I was a real serial murderer. I'm a handyman and can do just about anything, I'm currently building a movie set for my next silly video. I type 100 words a minute. I'm great with my mind, hands and dignity and I apply those things to women. I'm the most compassionate person alive or who has ever lived. I'm a registered rehabber wih the D.N.R. of Indiana. I"m incredible in all sports. I love spending time with someone I love watching movies and going out to eat, just waiting on that right girl. I have a bachelor's in English, and an associates from Minneapolis in Art instruction, but I'm happy with being a loser, being poor and having no future, I'm just trying to manage every day on this shitty planet, being a very lonely wise thing. I've been to California a dozen times in the last 2 years and not for vacation or my own accord (long story). I'm VERY down to earth and give great advice. If I could go to Chipotle daily I would, but I have no girl in my life, no significant other, no waddling penguin, no friend to hold my hand. i do like a girl alot, but i realize how fucked up i am, sometimes i don't even want to get out of bed, i'd need her to understand what its like to be lonesome and depressed, i really miss holding someone. we're all doomed to die, it sucks, i'm just trying to make my life as comfortable as possible with the little means i have, hopefully they'll put me on mental disability and i can continue my writing without having to work shit jobs to make ends meet, or save for a date with a girl and it never happens anyways go to a few of my sites myspace.com/andyp6 or Andy's Facebook link is below, its facebook.com/boathopper i have a new myspace account but rarely use it
