#clitclip

well if u insist ;)

Okay so this list is gonna be heavily biased based on, like, the romances that happened in canon BUT

in descending order from most to least likely:

1. TIMOTHY STOKER- absolutely 100% most likely to be a romcom protag. Initially comes across as very casual and lighthearted, even a bit of a flirt, but is secretly not so secretly a sappy romantic who wants to find a sense of family again, AND he’s packaged with a tragic backstory of a dead family member, which I swear is the tragic backstory of a solid 90% of romcom protags (if they have a tragic backstory at all). Hallmark eat ur fuckin heart out.

2. Jon and Melanie- Jon and Melanie tie for the number two spot for being the same romcom archetype: Prickly exterior with a heart of gold, unsure of whether they deserve the love they receive. The coconut of people.

3. Martin Blackwood- I say this as someone who is deeply in love with this man, I think his character archetype actually benefits from not being the POV character, or at least not always the POV. I like his depth and complexities to have that fuckin slow release that, if done right, will come from being the love interest rather than the main character. While I solidly say he’s more likely to be the deuteragonist, he is absolutely most likely to be in a romcom flat out, considering he was like...I will take the horror tragedy and I will EXTRACT the romance.

5. Sasha James- canonically not a romantic. Would be much much happier in an adventure mystery.

6. Basira and Daisy- barred from being in romcoms by virtue of being cops. That being said Basira has a slight edge on daisy bc I firmly believe that if she was drunk enough she would do karaoke

I love this idea because the “oh my gosh there’s only one bed” trope becomes even funnier. It started off with some passive aggressive shit of each of them trying to claim the couch. Martin’s all like oh but this is your place you have to take the bed and Daisy’s like a) you’re my guests (unintended guests but guests nonetheless) and b) you’re dating Jon now don’t you wanna snuggle together?? Then, while Martin’s busy blushing and Daisy’s just basking in her perceived victory Jon just conks the fuck out on the couch and no one has the heart to wake him. 

Eventually they settle on some weird rotation system where they like swap out which two people have the bed. It gets even worse because Martin and Daisy refuse to share the bed so Jon ends up having to alternate sharing the bed with the love of his platonic life and the love of his romantic life. He never gets the couch after that first night. Bonus points for the couch being like this ridiculously tiny little thing that only Jon actually fits on and he’s so confused because it makes the most sense for him to get it but he never does.

Also!! That’s such a wonderful idea. He starts reading it and Daisy comes in and puts him in a chokehold and he panics for a few moments because the last time she put her hands near his throat she was threatening to like slit his throat (if i remember correctly?) and the contrast of the anger in her voice then and the gentle voice whispering in his ear, saying that she’s sorry over and over, is enough for him to remember all the other times since the buried when they’d just sit next to each other and remember they’re not alone. And he slowly stops struggling and lets himself get choked out because he trusts Daisy to do the right thing. And when he wakes up she’s waiting there with Martin and she’s got some honey tea or something for him. Crisis averted, they can go back to trying to buy another bed.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST DUDE YOU AND ME BOTH.

@zingay Happy Birthday!! Hope I'm not too late

Anonymous said: Happy birthday!!!! 🎂🎁🎊🎉

HONESTLY !!!!!!!! DASDHSADHSAHDAHD it fucking gave me the MOST life because i ALWAYS thought dave and karkat are such MORONs theres no way it wouldnt have panned out like that

uhhhhh g os h yes! that is me, patterns is mine, i wrote the that

HOLY SHIT OHMYGOD YES I’M 13THDOCTOR hiADAEDKDJjjja;rhs; MY SMILE IS STUPIDLY BIG RIGHT NOW???? OMG??

*takes a deep breath* *screeches* *tucks that screech back in my chest where it belongs* That fic was an absolute joy to write and I am truly, madly, deeply grateful that you enjoyed it. Die-Hardman just got me so hard, dude. Had to give him some love.