#cleanup.

i have no idea why this won't format correctly. i apologize in advance, i've tried to HTML it, i've tried to delete and repost, but the bad boy just does not want to be in paragraph format apparently.

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i'm doing something fairly predictable for january's happiness goal. but before i get into all that, let's see where we stand with the past couple of months. keeping in mind, these goals are designed to be apart of me as a whole upon the month's completion. i'm giving myself a bit of a pulse check. you're more than welcome to read on, but truthfully this is kinda my version of a progress report. and here we go...

decembenergize. remember my quote about synchronicity? well, this month was the perfect example. sometimes when you send something out into the universe, the universe throws shit at you. it becomes a very intense game of dodgeball. fortunately, that was my favorite childhood game. so in a month dedicated to energy and vitality and all things good for the soul (chicken soup and such), i also received news of my grandfather's health deteriorating quickly, i was sick with the world's longest cold, and i pulled insanely long overtime hours before leaving town for snowy utahhhh. amazingly, i am leaving the month with the most energy i've had in months. and i didn't even get to follow most of the mini goals. i slept inconsistently. i exercised maybe twice, one of those being on the last day of the month. my place is tidy, sure, but i should probably break out the feather duster as it looks like no one has lived in that dust trap in months. the only nagging task i tackled was an obnoxious cough. and as far as acting the part, let's just say my emotional exhaustion wore alllll up on my face. yet, here i am feeling incredibly rested and healthy as we start this new month and year! it's a christmas miracle!!!

okay okay, but what about dolla dolla made november holla? funny you should ask, alex. (coincidentally, you should probably stop talking to yourself on a public forum, girlfriend.) but the good news is, i'm right on track. a budgeting wiz over here. no impulse shopping, adding bits and coins to my piggy bank, eating in (and healthily for the most part), weekly evaluations and planning, and even getting an opportunity to splurge. i mentioned i paid off a debt and have a couple more in the works for this month! funny how much stress lifts when you see results. encouraging in all ways. 

it's this time of year. i'm absolutely certain of it. not only do i live in one of the gloomiest cities in the world (i've got a lot of town love, but these winters are ridiculous), but to add to it, it's the season of football, holidays, baked goods, and any other equally relaxing and fatty themed periods of time. i drink more, snack more, lazy more. i sleep inconsistently. weekends are catch up, weeknights are tossed and turned with every sway of the big loud tree blowing in the deep gusts of wind outside my bedroom window. 

but the most obnoxious part of this time of year is how easily it makes me grumpy. like crazy grumpy. ebenezer scrooge grumpy. hermit up at home and hide from the world grumpy. like a good little bear cub, i just want to hybernate. emerge in the spring with my big kid smile back on my relaxed face. 

alas, this isn't a very practical or humanly possible plan. because i am human. 

instead, i'll jump right into fix it mode. i've analyzed the past five years of winters (i'm impressed i could remember that far back at all with this crazy old lady brain of mine), and one thing is for certain, SAD is a common theme y'all. Seasonal Affective Disorder. i used to think i was crazy for having such deep depressions every time the nights grew longer and darker. fortunately, i'm not crazy at all. i just live in a dark and twisty city in the pacific northwest, where authors write stories of vampires and zombies. why wouldn't more people be depressed with characters like that to go up against every year.

i should say i'm probably self-diagnosing here, but that just means i can equally as comfortably self-treat. this year i'm doing so by reimplementing the goals of yonder. that's right folks, we're bringing back the energy. therefore, the month of december, the last month of the year, will be spent on vitality. 

re-cycled mini pieces of energy:

go to sleep earlier (#zzz)

exercise better (#moobitmoobit)

toss, restore, organize (#cleanup)

tackle a nagging task (#tackleit)

act more energetic (#actit)

another month down, and the funny thing. i didn't blog enough to make it worth it. so here i am. with a dilemma. do i continue on and move forward, give you a quick update of my month? do i re-do this past month, because despite having accomplished pieces of it, i still have much to go? do i recognize that this year may have a few hiccups, but that sort of is the point? or do i apologize and bow out?

well, i can answer the last for sure. i'm not a quitter. and even typing the question didn't feel right. so, i'll leave the rest of these questions for you to decide. text me, write me, tumblr question me. the most votes will win. i can go any which way at this point. i'm not limiting this journey. but i will let you help to control its fate.