#cimorelli

For some reason I remembered recently that I did this collage. Maybe because more than ever, all I wish is for Amy to finally shine on her own, as in for herself and not parroting what her family thinks or does.

I still wish she'd be free like Dani did already 5 years ago. Amy deserves to be her own person and not weighed down by what her sisters think of her. Sometimes you have to cut off a family member or two just for mental health reasons. I know it's not easy for her considering her anxiety and OCD and all, but someone's gotta do it, before she's too late to be saved.

Apparently my worst fears has come to be... regarding my fave indie girl group. (You can thank r/cimsnark on Reddit for this.)

So it has been said that the sisters never bring up politics but some things unfortunately get out of the cracks. Through that Reddit i found out that the Cimorelli family is not all what they seem in real life. (Most of those examples are on the afformentioned Reddit. You can read that there.) That broke my heart and felt a bit conflicted, especially for the one I still love and wish to be hers... Amy.

It was through there that I read that because of her Turners she cannot conceive kids of her own, but also the fact that some of her sisters bully her in some ways that look innocent but like they discourage her or something. Stuff like they don't want her to have her own YouTube channel, or the fact that 3 of them (Christina, Katherine and Lisa) kept talking about motherhood, but that one sounds insensitive to her, as she's the last one of the sisters (the afformentioned 3 + Dani who was since left the band in 2020, and Lauren having a boyfriend) who has no one to love.

Well I still wanted to be hers as both of us have so much in common, especially the unloved and sometimes bullied part, both being people pleasers and both of us having disorders (Amy's Turners and my Aspergers), so I can feel what inner hurt she always go through.

Several things I found out more of her include:

She is severely deprived of non-judgmental human interaction.

She turns on the kiddie-like charm as a defense mechanism in some of her posts.

She is very anxious, and I dislike the treatment her sisters give her, especially as she's in a non-supportive toxic environment.

However, the one thing that made me go from "I want to love you with all I have and be loyal to you" to "I dunno, you did wrong, but I can't stop loving you, but what I'm doing is against what I fight and believe for" was the thing I was not aware in 2016 (because I don't have snapchat) and the one thing that sent me to be conflicted...

was this.

I'll spare copying this, but comments for this post say otherwise: https://www.reddit.com/r/cimsnark/comments/12xx8x4/deleted_by_user/

Short story: the Cimorellis were Republican all along.

And I ended up struck by the fact Amy voted for the orange devil in 2016, and accounts say she had a T**mp sticker on the background of one of her stories. The more i read on that Reddit, the more I see the family in a not-so-nice view, especially as one of the brothers was a creep, the mom was pro eugenics or something, and more. At that point, only Dani (who exposed the family's secrets after she left the band) and Joey were the only family members who were the sane ones.

Now back to what I was saying, that one thing made me a bit conflicted on my feelings for Amy. We had some commonality, but me and her views differ. She's Catholic, Conservative and Republican, while i'm Protestant, Progressive and (sometimes) Democrat. I felt like if I was to date her I'd throw away what I believe in for her, but by doing so I feel like I'm betraying myself and living a lie. I wanted to save her, let her grow and spread her wings and fly, but now that I found out something that should have not been found out, I don't know what to think anymore.

Part of me says "Save her with your love, no matter what, if it makes her free from it all" but another says "She'll only destroy you with those negative things, abandon her, she'll make you question everything!"... and that was the problem. I love her, but I can't accept she's on the bad side.

I wish I can reach out to her and free her from that toxic environment, and hopes that "I can fix her" as the people say, but at the same time I can't get myself to do it because of what I found out. I don't know what to do... only God can help me (and her) now.

Love is such a two-edged sword...