#chuckle clips

Ted: I think that in every universe but this one, Schlatt’s a furry. Like, that’s like the same thing.

Schlatt: Well…

Ted: Oh?

Tucker: I could actually see that. It’d be cat based though.

Schlatt: No, it would not be cat based, no no. Definitely not.

Ted: He’d be a big goat man. He’d be a big goat man.

Schlatt: Furries are… yeah, I mean, no one— there’s no cat furries, that’s weird.

Ted: He already has a fursona, he’s a goat man.

Schlatt: Yep. It’s true.

Schlatt: Would you say the Lord’s name in vain?

Michael: God no.

[All gasp]

Charlie: Michael! Jesus Christ—

[All gasp]

[Ted and Michael laugh]

Schlatt: I mean, holy shit guys—

[All exclaim]

Schlatt: Ted, be careful.

Charlie: Ted.

Ted: Now wait just a goddamn—

[Thunder rumbles]

[All scream]

Charlie: It’s his light.

Schlatt: Holy fuck!

Charlie: It’s come to take us.

Ted: For our audio listers, love you to death, Boruff just made lightning strike in the studio.

Charlie: Boruff just called God into the studio.

Schlatt: Yeah, I feel like religion is… when it’s forced on people, that’s the quickest way to make someone not religious. It’s like a city slicker having to live in the city their whole life and then wanting to move out somewhere quiet. Or, a rural head, little farmer boy, living in a farm his whole life, wanting to move to the big city. Yknow, you want the opposite of what was forced upon you. 

Ted: Yeah, that’s usually how it goes. Usually it’s opposites, yknow?

Schlatt: Yeah. Yknow, you’ve been fucking pussy your whole life, maybe you want to try something new. 

Ted: Was that related to what we were talking about or are you just saying that?

Schlatt: Huh? Hm?

Schlatt: Speaking of limbs…

Charlie: Okay. Worrying.

Schlatt: I was watching some— how’s that for a segue, “speaking of limbs”.

Charlie: Not super great depending on where it’s going but…

Ted: When you address the segue, it reduces in quality.

Charlie: Oh! How about this. How about this. Hey, let me go out on a limb here. Oh!

Schlatt: Oh! Shit!

Charlie: That’s good!

Schlatt: Zinger!

Charlie: That’s a fucking segue!

Schlatt: Attaboy, dude, dap me up [claps].

Charlie: I got you [claps].

Schlatt: Ow. Dude, not that hard.

Charlie: Oh that— this was— that was weirdly sensual what you just did.

Charlie: How do you fucking eat— How do you eat a can— I like don’t know how to eat this. Like—

Schlatt: Suck on it. 

Ted: Yeah, I think you just—

Charlie: Live? 

Schlatt: You put your mouth—

Charlie: Live?

Schlatt: Put your pretty mouth on it and shove it down your throat. 

Charlie: That’s crazy. That’s fucking crazy. 

Ted: You curl your pretty lips ‘round that— ‘round that candy cane. 

[Schlatt laughs]

Charlie: I’m never coming back, dude. I’m actually never coming back. 

Ted: And you start moving it up and down. 

Charlie: There’s no other way to do that, right? There’s no other fucking way. 

Schlatt: I am wasted. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

Ted: Alright, man. I'll talk to you next week then, okay. Good to see you.

Schlatt: l've got some people to kill.

Ted: Yeah, honestly, Schlatt, I'll say, without the headphones on actually, this is kind of a look.

Schlatt: Huh?

Ted: It looked more intense with the headphones on but the glasses do look good without the headphones on. It's like a vibe. I'm vibing with it.

Schlatt: You think?

Ted: Yeah, no, you're looking good right now. I like this, I genuinely like this. This is a good— you’ve got a crisp cut. 

Schlatt: Do you think so?

Ted: Yeah.

Schlatt: Do you think I look hot?

Ted: Yeah, I'm proud of you.

Schlatt: Would you fuck me or would you marry me? Or would you—

Ted: I'd kill you.

Schlatt: Okay, well, I was gonna fuck you.

Schlatt: And marry Tucker.

Schlatt: And kill Charlie.