#chucho

And he would still be seen as a hero by most. The government hated to admit when someone got something on them. 

And so being retired in Laredo meant helping his father around the ranch, sweating in the high-noon Texas sun, and mulling over when Milena would call him next. 

She promised to come home with him. And she was planning on it, still. She quit the DEA too. But Javier forgot that it took time to pack and make arrangements to ship her things to him. She had her own life, her mother, that she was leaving behind all over again. 

As the sun began to set, Javier looked through the mailbox, searching for any letters addressed to him rather than bills or whatever for Chucho. He still technically owned the ranch. He’d never give it up until he died.

Thankfully, there was a letter. From one Milena Sánchez living in Temecula, California. 

“Got your bills, Pop.” Javier announced, setting the other envelopes on the counter. 

“And your love letter?” Chucho didn’t miss a beat as he mixed honey into his tea. It was recommended by the doctor to help him feel more energized.

Javier rolled his eyes and made his way to his room. No longer was it ripped from his childhood. He exchanged the twin bed with a king that he was able to pay for with his generous ‘going away’ stipend from the DEA. He took off the posters of action stars and teenage crushes and replaced them with framed photos of him and Steve, him and Milena, and all three of them together from before he left hours before Escobar’s capture. 

He and Milena planned for her to come to Laredo a few days, do a test-run on living with him and Chucho and the town. He didn’t want her to think he was stuck in the past. Or secretly wished he was still a little boy. That’d be a sure-fire way to turn off a woman. 

With his thumb, Javier tore open the envelope, and slid the letter out. 

Over the weeks, months since they’ve been home, he grew somewhat of a collection of these letters. All stashed in a drawer in his second-hand desk. 

For each new one, he could smell the lingering scent of her perfume mixed with ink that hadn’t completely dried yet. He loved it. His chest felt full each time he saw a smudge of her fingerprint or a word she crossed out but he could still read what it said. 

Of course, Javier would respond, but it felt inadequate. He wasn’t as eloquent as her. He’d just write about his week, how much he missed her every so often to not seem clingy, and hope that was enough. So far, it was. 

On the other hand, she would write such beautiful words about how much she missed him, how there wasn't necessarily something missing, but how something that complimented her perfectly was just out of reach. 

Milena could survive without Javier. But she didn't want to. 

Late at night, while Chucho was asleep, Javier would call her. Not that his father would embarrass him, but it was nice to have some privacy. 

Given the time difference, it wasn't as late for Milena but, as he'd learned, her mother didn't really use the phone. A plus for them. 

“How've you been? Still looking for a job over here?” Javier wondered aloud, adjusting his grip on the corded phone his father didn't have the heart to get rid of.

On the line, Javier could hear her taping up a box. “I'm good. And no. I'm qualified to work as a cop but, y'know, I'd rather not work for the government anymore.” She sighed.

“You could always work on the ranch with me and Pop.” Javier suggested, taking a drag from a cigarette he let burn between his fingers for a few seconds. 

“I could.” She conceded. 

“You're pretty strong too. It'll help around here.” He added, smoke escaping his lips as he talked.

Milena chuckled. “Trying to stroke my ego or something?” 

Javier laughed along, shaking his head. “I don't think you need that. Maybe I'm just stating the obvious. I mean, me and Pop are older guys, our backs are gonna give out sooner than yours.” He teased. 

“Oh, is that what this is?” 

“That's definitely what this is.” 

“Mm, I'll have to think about it.” 

“Don't think too hard.”

“Oh, I won't. Don't worry.” 

“Now, I am worried.”

“Even though I said don't be. Hm. Weird how that works.” 

Javier chuckled, running a hand through his hair. Then there was silence. Not uncomfortable or anything. Just there, filling the space left by the absence of their voices. 

“Javi?” Milena's voice was softer.

He mimicked her tone. “Yeah?” 

“I think it'd be nice working on the ranch with you.” She admitted in a whisper. “It'd be… calm. God knows I need it after everything.”

He knew what she meant. But he couldn't help teasing her. “I thought you didn't believe in God.”

Milena groaned, a small snort escaping her. He got her. A sense of accomplishment washed over him. For just a moment. 

“I don't. Least of all the Christian God. It's just an expression, you ass.” He could tell she was rolling her eyes just by the tone of her voice.

These calls, while they were supposed to ease the loneliness in his bones, there wasn't anything Javier could do to fill the gap of her presence but have her by his side. These calls just reminded him exactly what he was missing. She was like a pebble in his shoe he started to get used to. He’d walk, talk, function differently without her. As much as he tried to deny it, Chucho could tell. It didn’t take the DEA or CIA to figure that out.

When Milena stepped off the plane to Laredo and took a deep breath. It strangely felt like she was coming home, though she had never once set foot in Texas. She could count the amount of times she’d been out of state on one hand. 

However, she was expecting a similar smell to LAX or even the Bogotá airport. That wasn’t what greeted her at all. It was just hot, a dry sort of heat with a twinge of gasoline in the air, but not the overwhelming scent she was prepared for. 

As she traversed through the airport, she found Javier sitting at the bar, nursing a drink. Milena couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips at the sight. She almost didn’t want to disrupt him. 

His head was down, checking his watch every few moments. He knew when Milena’s plane was supposed to land, but maybe there were delays? Maybe it was taxiing for too long? Maybe she was stuck behind some really old, slow people?

He took a gamble and looked up. She stared right at him. And something in him broke. Or did it heal? He couldn’t tell. 

Javier ran over to Milena, pushing past passerbys, wrapping his arms around her tightly like it had been years since he last saw her. Like she went off to war and he wasn’t if or when she would ever be coming back. He buried his face in her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair he missed.

“Hello to you too, Peña.” She chuckled, the action reverberating into his body. 

“‘Peña?’ What happened to ‘Javi?’” He hummed teasingly as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. Then he pulled away to get a good look at her face, to memorize it all over again.

Milena slid her hands up his shoulders, squeezing them. “Nothing. You’re just making a scene in the middle of the airport.”

Javier blinked, glancing around them, noticing the eyes on them. “Right. Sorry.” He pulled away and motioned towards her. “I just missed you, Lena.”

“I know.” Her eyes softened, “Let’s just get to the car first, huh? Then we can talk.” 

As always, she thought ahead far better than he did. He was a private, protected person, so making out in the middle of an airport wasn’t really his style even if he was tempted. The airport bathroom or some random broom closet was an entirely different story.

Instead, Javier picked up her suitcase and hauled it into the back of his truck. “Didn’t peg you for a truck guy.” Milena commented as she got in the passenger seat.

“Unlike Steve, who’s probably living it up in Miami, I need a truck for work.” He pointed out with a smirk, turning the ignition.

“Ah, for ranch duties.” Milena nodded, matching his smirk. 

The ride to the ranch was mostly full of silence. Not a bad thing. It gave Javier the chance to look at Milena as the wind whipped in her hair from the open window and she looked at the landscape around them. 

As they passed certain fields, she got the faint whiff of burning wood, freshly cut grass, and summer flowers. A heady concoction. Something about it made her chest feel full. But maybe that was due to the presence in the driver’s seat. 

Javier turned down a dirt road that led up to a small one-story house. Even with its chipped wooden porch and loose window shutters, it had a certain charm to it that couldn’t be ignored.

They entered the house, Javier carrying the suitcase while Milena had her backpack on her shoulder. She looked around, catching Chucho under her gaze. 

A warm smile appeared across her face. “You must be Peña senior.” She offered a hand. 

“And you're the woman my son is crazy about.” Chucho pulled her into a hug instead. “You're gonna be livin’ with me, we're already family.”

“Right…” Milena hummed, slowly melting into the embrace. “Still nice to meet you. Officially.” She shrugged.

She'd heard Chucho’s voice every so often during a call, reminding Javier of certain chores he had to do as if he was still sixteen. Then there were the very few pictures she'd seen of them in his apartment. She had a feeling he didn't bring many personal belongings to Colombia in case he didn't come back. 

Once Chucho pulled away he smacked Javier’s arm. “No me dijiste lo fuerte que era.” He scolded. 

"You didn't tell me how strong she was."

Milena chuckled. “Puedes agradecerle al Ejército por eso.” 

"You can thank the Army for that."

“Still.” He half-jokingly glared at his son. “This one hates telling me things. I thought you might be hopeless on the ranch. Nothing against you, of course.” Chucho quickly added.

“Papá—” Javier whined weakly.

Milena shook her head, amused. “No, I get it. Don't worry.” 

Meeting Javier’s father was awkward, but not entirely unpleasant. Thankfully. After that first little embarrassment, it was a lot calmer.

Chucho even invited her and Javier along to the Farmer's market. She could already tell everyone was fairly tight knit based on the size of the city so she assumed this was one of the many ways she would meet everyone in town. 

And she was right. 

The outside market was filled to the brim with seemingly everyone in Laredo, both selling and buying various produce, products, and trinkets. 

“You okay?” Javier asked after a few moments of being in the crowd with her. His hand was firmly placed in hers.

Milena hummed. “I'm alright. Just—” She looked around a moment, “How is this more overwhelming than planning a raid? Do you understand what I mean?”

“I do.” He nodded, squeezing her hand. 

He was her crutch for a while, comforting her through the crowd as some tried to talk with her, congratulating Javier on finally finding a woman and wishing he'd settle down rather than throwing her away. Milena couldn't believe the audacity of these people but she would be the first to admit she didn't grow up in the South and the culture was very different. 

They stopped at a honey stand. The owners sold a variety of flavored and unflavored, with honeycomb and without. 

Milena picked a jar of regular honey with honeycomb, inspecting it for a moment. 

Javier watched then caught sight of his father struggling with a crate full of produce. “I'm gonna go help Pop, I'll be right back.” He squeezed her shoulder before he ran off. 

She hummed in response. Lifting the jar to her nose, she tried taking a whiff of the honey. She couldn't smell anything. Still, she planned on getting the honey anyway. 

“How much for this?” Milena asked the vendor.

“2.50.” 

She dug in her pocket for a five dollar bill and handed it over. “Keep the change.”

The vendor took it and then asked, “Would you like a bag?”

Milena glanced down at the jar. “Uh, sure. Do you have a small one?” They gave her a small paper bag, perfect for the honey. “Thanks.”

She turned to find a woman with wavy blonde hair staring at her. “Hey?” Milena's eyebrows furrowed, giving a small wave. 

“Hi.” The other woman smiled, “It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Lorraine.” She said warmly. 

Milena was even more confused. Lorraine? As in the woman who Javier left at the altar Lorraine? The same woman who was now happily, presumably, married to some other man? 

“Oh, uh, I'm Milena.” She tried to muster up a polite smile.

“I know.” Lorraine chuckled. “Word gets around quick in a small town like this. If you couldn't tell.”

Milena nodded, glancing around at the passersby who caught them both in their gaze. “No, I know.” 

“Well, I just wanted to say I'm glad Javier has you in his life.” Lorraine said sincerely, clasping her hands together. “He doesn't always think he deserves something good. One of his biggest faults. But, lately, because of you, I can tell he's been doing better.” 

Milena shifted her gaze to Javier, watching him through the crowd. He helped Chucho carry his finds to his truck, occasionally talking to friends from his past. 

It was true. Javier had been doing better because of Milena's presence. He'd even cut back a little on smoking, not wanting to contaminate the air while she was around. A weird thought but he couldn't stand the idea of adding to the poison in the air if Milena was staying. 

When Chucho gets home, he opens the door carefully, looking around for Javi who is, of course, nowhere to be seen. He hobbles down the hallway, stopping in front of his son’s door, and sighs heavily, shaking his head as he takes a deep breath and raises his fist to rap on the heavy wood.

Javi responds to the knock quickly, opening the door up enough to fully face Chucho with a miserable look plastered across his face.

“Mijo,” Chucho drawls, head cocking to the side. “Qué hiciste?” (what did you do?) Javi just shakes his head, shoulders falling in a somber release of whatever bravado he had been holding onto desperately. He drops his line of sight to the floor and opens up the door a little wider before he flops onto the end of his bed, holding his head in his hands.

“No sé. I don’t know what I did… I don’t know how to fix it. It all happened so fast. I messed up, Pops.” Chucho takes a seat at the small writing desk next to the door and reaches out to clap a hand on Javi’s shoulder, giving it a heavy squeeze.

“I gathered that much, Javier. What did you do?” Javi looks up at him blearily, back hunched uncomfortably, and takes a slow, deep breath. 

“She asked me about marriage, and kids, and houses, and I just… I fucking panicked.” Chucho raises a brow at him and chastises him lightly, simultaneously trying to lighten the mood and give Javi something else to focus on.

“Language, Javier.”

“Sorry, Pops. I just panicked. I lost it. I didn’t know how to… Coño. Soy un pendejo, Papi.” (fuck. I’m a moron, dad.)

“Sí, tú eres.” (yes, you are.) Chucho chuckles lightly at Javi’s admission, but pushes it down. He doesn’t need to add insult to injury. “No lo quieres? No la quieres?” (do you not want it? Do you not want her?)

“No, no, no, Pops, I… La deseo. La deseo mucho. Pero me dije a mi mismo… after Mami, you know… I told myself I wouldn’t let myself get to a place where I could feel that pain again. I promised myself I wouldn’t.”  (I want her. I want her so much. But I told myself…) 

Chucho nods in understanding and lets his hand drop from Javi’s shoulder.

“So you’re pushing her away out of miedo, mijo. El miedo no es forma de vivir.” (fear, son. Fear is no way to live.)

“Qué más puedo hacer?” (what else can I do?)

“El amor verdadero vale la pena. Cada vez. No importa lo doloroso que sea.” (true love is worth the pain. every time. It doesn’t matter how painful it is.)

“Y con Mami? That was worth it?” (and with Mami?)

“I would go through it all over again, for even un segundo más con tú Mami. Por supuesto, it was worth it.” (a second more with your mother. Of course,)

Javi sighs and looks up at Chucho, eyes pleading. “Then how do I fix it? I messed up, Pops. Yo no sé how to fix it.”  (I don’t know)

Chucho nods again, reaching out to squeeze a knee, this time. “You’ll figure it out. You love her. I can see that clearly. And she loves you. That’s even more clear to me. If this is meant to be between you two, pa’lante. Pero necesitas hablar con ella. No funcionará si guardas todo dentro, if you hide things from her. That’s how… well, that’s how things ended up the way they did.” (keep going. But you need to speak with her. It won’t work if you keep everything inside.)

Javi’s eyes snap up to his fathers, and Chucho can only hope that he understands what he really means. He doesn’t think he has it in him to say it aloud, not right now.

“You had no idea, did you, Pops?” He shakes his head side to side, somberly and sighs.

“I didn’t. Maybe if she had talked to me, if she had let me in, I could’ve gotten her help, or something. Tal vez si prestara más atención...” (maybe if I paid more attention…)

“No, Pops. You were always the most attentive husband. Anybody could see that. I could see that. It's part of why I'm so afraid of all this… I don't think I can live up to the standard you set for me. I don't know if I have it in me.”

“You do, Javier. I’ve seen how you are with her. You just have to hold onto it when things get tough, just keep a tight grip and don’t let go. Sé que lo que ustedes dos tienen es real. No dejes que eso pase por nada. Hablar con ella.” (I know what the two of you have is the real thing. Don’t let that go for anything. Talk to her.) Javi heaves out a heavy sigh, shoulders relaxing as he forces himself to sit up a bit straighter, the position starting to pinch something in his back.

“Okay. Sí, Papi. Lo haré. (Yes, dad. I will.) I’ll figure this out.”

“Give her some time, but then you have to step up and own up to it, yeah? Don’t let this one fall through your fingertips. Nunca te perdonarás a ti mismo..” (you’ll never forgive yourself if you do)

“Yeah. I get it. Gracias, Pops.”

“Any time, mijo. I like it when you talk to me. You know you can, whenever you need to, right?” Chucho is trying his best to tread carefully, to not overstep into the love life of his very-much-an-adult son, but he can’t help it when it’s so clear to him what’s going wrong, what potential he might be wasting if he doesn’t get his act together, at least in some capacity. 

The truth of the matter is that he’s never seen Javier so happy, so at peace, as he is when you’re around. That means something - it means a lot, really. He just hopes Javi has it in him to fix this.

A/N: I know this is short - but I really wanted to explore this idea and this relationship a little bit more, and it felt right to keep it on the shorter side. I hope you still enjoyed! Next full chapter will be out soon. <3

xoxoxo

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