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Adventures in Babysitting

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Riverdale

Mulan II will entertain young children craving more of the 1998 film. Anyone else will find it interminable. The characters are flat, plots obvious, songs unmemorable, and stakes minuscule. It makes you appreciate the original so much more to see this polar opposite.

After the events of the first movie, Fa Mulan (voiced by Ming-Na Wen) and General Li Shang (BD Wong) become engaged. Suddenly, they receive an important mission from the Emperor (Pat Morita). They must escort his three daughters across the country to marry for political reasons. To ensure the mission’s success, Yao (Harvey Fierstein), Ling (Gedde Watanabe), and Chien-Po (Jerry Tondo) accompany them. Meanwhile, Mushu (now voiced by Mark Moseley) learns his position as Mulan’s guardian will end if she marries and decides to break up the happy couple.

This is nothing more than a series of subplots stitched together. I suppose you can give points to this follow-up for not simply regurgitating what we saw previously but this isn’t just a step-down, it’s a gigantic-precipice-down. Even before it gets started, you know exactly how it’s going to end. The princesses are upset about getting married to royals they’ve never met. As soon as Ling, Yao, and Chien-Po display even a single, shallow thing in common with them, it’s love at first sight. What if one of Qui Gong’s princes likes food or jokes? Only one of them ever shows up so even we don’t find out what they’re rejecting.

In 1998’s Mulan, a little Mushu went a long way. This is living proof. Or maybe it just feels like he gets way too much screen time because the historical anachronisms and other gags are never funny. The family ancestors hate him. You do too. At least Mark Moseley’s impression of Eddie Murphy is pretty good.

Like its predecessor, Mulan II is a musical. None of the songs are memorable. One is simply a reprise of A Girl Worth Fighting For but without the charm surrounding it. There are no laughs, no depth, and little to like in this entire film. You’ll be continuously checking your watch. How can 79 minutes feel so long?

Let’s be real, no one looks at the cover for Mulan II and expects greatness. At best, this would’ve been a bonus to compliment the wonderful original. Nothing about it is sophisticated, which means it’s just for little ones but why even bother? No one would ever prefer Mulan II over Mulan. No one could enjoy it independently either. No one would ever call this their favorite movie. The animation is fair - the crowd shots and dance numbers are impressive for a low-budget production - and the voice acting is fine. The story and screenplay, however, are no good. I could never recommend Mulan II to anyone, except for the smallest, most indiscriminate children whose parents are about to go mad from hearing Be a Man for the thousandth time, and even then… (On Blu-ray, September 13, 2020)