#choumei

Imagine Shukaku and Choumei asking Gaara and Fuu doing this as the only way to defeat Houichi a.k.a Bald Monk HELP 😭

*Inside Fuu's cocoon*

Shukaku & Choumei : I want you both to kiss each other! This is the only way to save our lives and defeat that bald monk!

Fuu : *sitting in Gaara's lap* are you sure you wanna do this?!

Gaara : If this is the only way, my answer is yes.

Fuu : I can't believe that I'll kiss with my first friend. *blushing*

Gaara : Fuu, have you ever kissing before?

Fuu : Uh, never.

Gaara : Me too. So, this is our first kiss now. *stroking Fuu's wrist with his hand, then his lips met hers*

*Outside Fuu's cocoon from far*

Houichi : What tf are they both doing?! *speechless when feel something 'hot' from his chains*

Neji : *Saw them with using Byakugan, sweatdrop* Oh no...

Tenten & Lee : Neji, what happened?!

*confused, shaking Neji's shoulder*

Matsuri : Neji-san, Is Gaara-sama okay now?! *panicked*

Kegon & Yorou [Fuu's teammates] : I hope Fuu not doing something weird with Kazekage. *getting frustrated while praying*

-literal trash. 

-No really. Like, Chouji the Elder is moody, Chouichi clearly has depression and attachment issues but Choumei is just grade A asshole. 

-I’d say it’s not his fault- he’s as much a product of the ninja systems’ twisted logic as Orochimaru or Itachi and Sasuke- but like. Cool motive. still murder. 

-Before Chouji the younger, was Sakuya’s foremost student in the art of poisons- surpassed her by the time he became a chunin. 

-Had a definite problem with his clan’s concept of sacrifice for Konoha, or, as he put it, ‘being kunai fodder’. 

-Following that, thought the Will of Fire was pretty fucking bunk-hard to see the village as one big family when your clan keeps dying to keep the others alive and you don’t even get a fucking thank you

-A ninja alchemist who liked to play with body’s natural chemicals and capacity for rapid change. Had a tendency to consume strange concoctions that would basically turn him into a walking bioweapon. His stomach acid can melt iron. 

-Performed a series of highly unethical experiments during his tenure as head of one of the Akimichi kitchens. Would feed various unsuspecting ninja his creations and keep careful notes. 

-That’s how he met Orochimaru. 

-They tried stuff on the same guy without knowing it. 

-He exploded. 

-It was unfortunate. 

-For the guy. 

-I mean Orochimaru got a BSFF (Best Science Friends Forever) out of it so. 

-Unlike Orochimaru, didn’t get caught. At least not until he left- free and clear. Filled out an exit visa and everything. 

-Before he left, warned Chouza that the Uchiha were gonna be on the chopping block. 

-Chouza ordered the ANBU investigation when sketchy shit began to surface after Orochimaru booked it.  

-He didn’t like the findings. 

-ANBU keeps looking but for a fat guy Choumei’s hard to find. 

Chapter 7: Returning

In which Sakura steals another bijuu, steals a teenager, and steals two old friends by way of memory matrix.

She is on a roll.

“¡Preferiría caminar con un amigo en la oscuridad que sola en la luz ‘ssu!”