Another chapter on my Chishiya x OC fanfiction.Â
Can be read in any particular order, does not need previous information. Previous works:
Open Doors -Â https://rubythoughts.tumblr.com/post/707171827683852288/open-doors-chishiya-shuntaro-one-shot-alice-in
Wet Motion -Â https://rubythoughts.tumblr.com/post/707448098681667584/wet-motion-alice-in-borderland-chishiya
____________________________________________
Her hands moved methodically and Chishiya couldnât help but look impressed, although in his state he should have conserved the energy. She noticed his shocked look â a rare sight â but she didnât offer any sign of explaining herself.
Himikoâs fingers were easy on his skin, moving fast and he noticed how she didnât even flinch when her fingers dug for the bullet. He, however, growled. Loudly.
-Shhh. Theyâll hear. She said quietly but clear enough. He knew theyâd hear but the damn woman just got a bullet out of him, she could have expected it. It wasnât really an usual sight, Chishiya was never shoot before and probably because he was always sent to games with a spades player. This time they sent them together.
The Hatter found this new game arena, far and remote. Actually, some militant found it, but the hatter decided it must be the 10th of Hearts. So, he sent a heart player and a diamond player, the best he had. Chishiya knew his life is in danger, a heart game could have meant only one winner. But nothing could have been done, he had bigger chances of winning that than running away from the Beach. He calculated the odds and went with the best result. Although there was a rough emotion that he didnât feel before in his heart â it blurred his vision and mind. He refused it and it still was there. An emotion having no less than the height, weight and shape of the woman next to him.
Indeed, the game was a high number, not one that they had in their so-called pack â but definitely not one Himiko and Chishiya should have tackled.
Her hands moved as fast as possible, closing the wound. She got a first kit aid in her backpack at all times, a basic one, but the sewing kit⌠she lost so much of their time just searching for it in the abandoned school. She focused on her hands, fearing that her mind might drift in panic. Chishiya was paler than usual and that was bad. She finished, cleaned the wound and searched for any kind of medicine available and not expired. The place was scarce, but she gave him an ibuprofen which wonât do the job, but at least ease the situation a little.
For him, a mystery has been unfolded. And although the pain was cruel, the irony was even worse. She was so much like him and now they also shared their past profession. Something he desperately wanted to forget. The life that made him hollow also cleared her of emotions.
He watched her sewing the wound with precision, not a moment of uncertainty bothering her mind. He was hypnotized and he shamefully realized that the feelings were all reflected on his face. It was the pain, it made him vulnerable. It made him think of her in ways he didnât allow himself to. It made him realize she shouldnât have been there with him, doomed as he was.
When she gave him the ibuprofen, she even dared to look like she pitied him. Fucking wounds.
The shooters were probably searching the lower floors for other players, but they were both aware of the fucked-up situation they were in. He couldnât run anymore and none of the brainless players on the lower floors figured the gun was on the upper floors. It was a miracle they got this far anyway and Chishiya figured it out quickly, she had to go alone. She had to.
She knew it too, after all, they probably thought of this at the same time, the second he was shot.
Since that first moment she fought both the urge to help him, and the need to run to complete the game, resulting in a compromise situation of managing the wound quickly and figuring out when the time came. Only she didnât figure it out and she desperately needed him to make the decision. Otherwise, her instincts were contradictory and basically useless. Normally she wouldnât fret. Normally she would have already been armed with the hidden gun, coming back down to shoot the Captain.
He knew he needed to decide but he wished she would just do something, making his decision totally unimportant. But no, she stayed and now they were both fucked. She let him choose, like he even deserved this right. Best mind-games players and they couldnât make up their minds to save their lives. Or one life. He sighed.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â One life it is. He said more to himself.
She heard, though, and her hand moved to the door but didnât find the force to push the handle.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â That gun wonât find itself so move.
With this, she exited the room and left him without a glance back, in fear that sheâll change her mind. There werenât many times she did as told without bickering, but this was one of them. Someone had to close the game. Someone had to find a way to save both of them, not the one life. Although she knew that he might not have his eyes open after she closed the game anyways.
She ran through the rooms of the fifth floor hoping to find any clues, but her eyes were blinded by tears and she didnât even hesitate to think or go up a floor. Flashes of kisses shared, quick fucks in the security room and a stubborn stupid smirk were running through her mind. She needed a clear head, but the only clear thought was that heâll die here. The shooters could come up any moment now and heâll just be there, on the floor, waiting for a death he was too proud to admit it scared him.
She fell, her leg stuck in computer cables, falling quickly one her side. Â She whimpered and tried to unleash her shoe, only making the cables twist around it more. She cried and swore and kicked for what have been at least a few wasted minutes. Precious minutes that could have saved her own life and maybe his.
âFind the hidden gun, take a bullet then load it to kill the Captain.â Â - the rule was floating around her mind like a dark cloud covering the sun, the clarity.
She swore again, she had to find a gun and also a fucking bullet. And reach the Captain to kill him in time, by getting through his shooters. She hated spades games and this was terrifying. She could count on her mind, on her expressions, on her manipulative behavior, but not on her body, currently stuck in between cables.
She stopped and looked at the ceiling, calculating the time. About 15 minutes and the 2 hours would end together with their lives. She almost laughed, wondering who gets the 10th of Hearts for the Hatter now.
She tried to unleash her leg with trembling hands and jumped on her feet when the frightening voice announced the last 15 minutes. Still teared up and with a sad smile on her face she turned around to go back to Chishiya. There was no time, no hope and no life after these 15 minutes. Might as well not die alone.
She almost didnât see the gun hanging over the desk, almost passing by it. She even stopped to ponder, was there even a meaning to taking it?
She decided there was not, but took the gun as a consolation prize to herself. She didnât leave him alone, to die, for nothing. She found a piece of the puzzle and as she predicted, the gun was empty. No bullets in sight. She wondered if this was even a real gun, it was small and looked cheap, probably used as a decorative piece. It looked new and never used.
She came down the stairs hearing the shooters on the third floor and searched for the small medical office she has left Chishiya in.
He wasnât surprised when she opened the door. He heard the reminder, if she didnât find the gun and kill the Captain by now, he didnât expect her to do it in the last 15 minutes. She wasnât a spades player, he wasnât either, he spent the 20 minutes alone here calculating her chances of actually closing this game. They were close to 0. She was smart, but she couldnât aim to save her life and she definitely couldnât pass 6 trained shooters.
He watched her swollen face and almost smiled, he so wanted to see more, to understand her, she looked so vulnerable and he couldnât even take advantage of it. He wasnât cruel, not to her. He wanted to know the woman he was going to die with.
She took a seat next to him and looked straight forward, putting the gun on the other side of her, like she was ignoring it.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Itâs empty.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I thought it would be.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You didnât tell me.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You would have stayed.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I should have stayed, I was useless.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You found the gun â
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - that is useless. And I almost didnât find it.
He sighed, he didnât have the energy for this. And she should have known, he was dying.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â They did say we need to find the bullet too. You forgot.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I was busy taking one out of you.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Which was impressive, though.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Iâve impressed you, that makes me die happier. She wanted it to be sarcastic, but it just came out sad, although he seemed sincere and she knew Chishiya didnât really admit things like that. She supposed she should be nicer.
They were about to die, together, which was comforting and terrifying. She knew him in a way others didnât, she knew he didnât want to die and at times she only lived to make sure he didnât die in the games they managed to play together. She admired his endurance, there were many times she wanted to give up but since he became part of her life she kept going, many times only for him. She rarely thought of it, she told herself sheâs good at this and sheâll go back to the real world because she deserved it, but in truth, she started to fight for him to go back. Because there was something in there to be healed and he needed to live for that. He was her own reflection, if she wouldnât fight for him, she wouldnât fight for herself.
In return, he didnât show anything. But every now and then he would check on her, knowing well that she can handle herself. He always thought Himiko is actually manipulating him into these weird feelings. Rather than admitting to his emotional immaturity it was much easier to make her a real queen of hearts, as some would call her. It was her fault he looked for her in the crowd. It was her doing that he wanted to fuck her in every room of the Beach. It was her manipulative ways that made him try and protect her doing games.
He somehow knew they were equals in this but he never let himself accept it. He went into these games thinking sheâll win and heâll learn from her, not the other way around. But he always went into these games knowing heâll offer her all he could. This time, it was a bit of hope. A bit of hope sheâd win, even if he knew she wouldnât.
He smiled to himself, how fit theyâd die together. Neither of them managed to attain their goals, she didnât win and he didnât help.
He wanted to know her better, he was fascinated the first time he heard about her and that fascination has never dried out. He wanted to know her reasons to fight, to live. He wonât get to know that, heâll die in the darkness, knowing her beautiful green eyes hold so many things he desperately â but not obviously â needed to know.
His hand somehow reached hers.
She knew he didnât want to die so she tried for him, although, there was no time and they both knew that. She lost too much of it taking care of his wound. Which, he let her do, because neither of them made up their minds.
That was uncharacteristic, for both of them.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â You knew thereâs no chance. But you told me to go.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Youâre a sore loser, I didnât want to see it first-hand.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Too bad, it seems I lost.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I knew you would.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Reading the future now. You also knew youâd take a bullet in your stomach today?
She meant it as a joke, they were already dying, it was fit. Bickering, it was fit for them. Maybe fucking would have been too, but she doubted he was in the mood for that. She wanted to do something familiar, something that didnât make her feel like she failed him. The way she failed many others.
But he wouldnât answer and it scared her. She didnât dare look at him, she feared sheâll see his eyes wide open and his chest frozen in place, not a breath taken and released. She feared his hand will soon run cold and she will be there facing death alone, knowing that she left him die. She knew thereâs nothing she could do for his wound right now, but it shouldnât have been fatal, not so soon. Chishiya wasnât very resistant, though. He never got hurt, so she didnât knew what his limit was, but she was too scared to turn hear head and face that limit.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I took a bullet. Give me the gun.
His voice was sudden and impatient, it made her release a breath she didnât even know she kept. Her head felt dizzy and tired. She didnât answer the way he wanted and he lost patience. The voice announced the last minute left in the game and he was shaking her. She felt like she was passing out.
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Give me the gun, Himiko!
She was startled and slow, not understanding what he wanted, what happened, fearing that he wanted to end it on his own terms. Her mind didnât connect anything, the lack of bullets, the too small gun, the lack of time. He growled and pushed himself up to get the gun from her and she barely managed to register it. Before she knew it, he pushed a deformed bullet â the one Himiko took out of his stomach - into the shell, barely fitting it in. That bullet couldnât be fired, it wouldnât kill anyone, it would have only meant more pain.
She didnât manage to say another word, to ask him not to do it, before the loud noise took over and her eyes went wide.