#cherrynotes

There might be changes in my body or appearance, my mood might frequently snap, i might forget or not serve you like how I used to (bcs we already have our own 'baby'), but please do not forget how I always misses and wanted to do the things we always did together and for each other.

I miss "us"

at bakit ganon, mas masakit para sakin na makita ang mga kaibigan ko na ganito?

gusto ko silang yakapin ng napakahigpit.

gusto kong sabayan silang umiyak para maramdaman nilang hindi sila nagiisa.

na kahit, mayroon na akong sariling pamilya,

sila parin ang pamilya na bumuo ng "ako".

Z

A. Why my last relationship ended?

~ there's a lotnof reasons why my last rl ended, 1st of all our beliefs are different, too different as jn sobrng layo na aabot talaga sa point na magsasalpukan talaga kami. Then toxic na rin kase nga iba beliefs, pareho mabilis uminit ulo siguro epekto narin ng mha hindi napagkakasunduan. tas na fall out of love nako, i just realized na matagal ko nang hindi mahal yung tao, nagstestay na lg ako bcs of my pride and nasasayangan sa mga taon.

Z. How are you?

I hate to say but I almost quit, I almost say "Tama na", wag na nilang saktan yung anak ko. I cried every nightttttt and day, seeing him suffer, sobrang liit lang niya. 🥺 pero diko parin magawa kase kung sabihin kong "Tama na", how will he fight once he's outside? and my partner, he's so strong to stand and show a strong face infront of me. How can I say those words when he's carrying both of us and enduring the pain of not being with us while we, me & my son go through all that alone?

ssobrang thabkful ko na lang because he's there, he is present kase kung wala siya siguro hindi ko talaga kakayanin and I will make absurd decisions just bcs I don't want to see my son get hurt.

now, we're finally home. still unsure what tomorrow holds for him, us. I am still scared everyday, hysterical everytime he makes a sound, or lungad, or just crying, I always mske sure he's close to me, to my body, to let him now that his 'mama' is always here.

hindi pa sakin nagsisink-in totally na meron nakong maliit na popoy, pero I fugging love my little man. I never imagined I could love someone like this. Hays. 🥺

I'm just praying na sana, umokay ang lahat ss mga susunod na araw para sa aming tatlo, lalo na sa kaniya—kase he deserve all the love in the world. I can't wait to see him finally crawl, and say "mama" or "mommy" or "nanay". 🥺