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Storm clouds on the move at Antelope Island. I shot this earlier this month and kind of filed it away. This reminds me of how my brain feels since my last chemotherapy treatment. It’s a little tough to focus and concentrate. My oncologist calls it chemo brain. The plus side is it doesn’t affect my nap schedule.
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Happy Friday Everyone 💖 Stay Safe and Be Kind 💖 xxx
Update time for the few actually watching this. I had a follow up with the cancer center today, after receiving the report two days ago via email without knowing how to interpret it. I have Glioblastoma multiforme stage 4, which was the original diagnosis, instead of Oligodendroglioma stage 3. BUT it's actually better, weirdly enough. Glio and Oligo are more or less the same, but the Oligo has 1p and 19q chromosome deletion. This does not. Glio is the "scarier" form of cancer because of the overall mortality rate of 96% over two years, but because of the genes present I have a more favorable prognosis with glioblastoma than Oligodendroglioma. I have a super high concentration of an mgmt wild type gene. Wild type means there is no mutation present, and it responds better to chemo and radiation than Oligodendroglioma. My KI-67 was lower than expected as well. That's what determines overall tumor growth rate. He said of the 4% of patients that survive past 2 years, I have the highest possible chance of not only living beyond that, but actually beating it to some degree. I won't live to retirement age certainly, but there is some rare cases where people live 10-15 years. That wild type gene is essential to get through this. The cost of treatment is astronomical but debt means nothing if I can get through this and be there for my children. It's the best possible conditions for a not so good situation. I've learned alot of humility and grace through all of this and it's only been 5 weeks. I no longer hold grudges against anyone or anything. Reach out. Let each other know it's okay to not be okay. But most importantly, don't ignore any warning signs your body is trying to tell you about. Also the nurse loved my mask and couldn't keep a straight face. 😂
Study sheds light on fatty acid’s role in chemobrain and multiple sclerosis
Lipids responsible for neural function are highly active and not inert. The findings challenge traditional beliefs about mature myelin.
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Staying at my parent’s house one holiday I started doing the Jumble puzzles in the newspaper that my Dad did. They are addicting even though I am not very good at them! They challenge my brain which I like. He has started sending me them from the paper lest I get chemo 🧠, and I brought them over to do with the boys. On the second attempt over dinner when the conversation lulled I casually pulled them out again and next thing you know Andrew had whipped though them! I was amazed how fast he got the words, many of which are somewhat old-timey and odd. He has the engineer’s brain! It is a fun activity for us to do together, as more heads are better than one with these. So happy he did them with us ☺️🤓 Also this card my Dad sent with some puzzles inside makes me cry every time I look at it! 😭 Thanks Popsy 💙
My brain is doing a weird thing
I have PTSD from the events of my cancer diagnosis and treatment (I'm currently cancer-free, yay) and I have some cognitive impairment and memory loss from chemo, head/neck radiation, and the effects of PTSD. While I've noticed occasional improvements, I still have large gaps in my memory and there are several types of information I have trouble absorbing. Some things, though, are little. This used to happen a lot more often, but sometimes I'll try to think of a word and I'll remember the sound and the idea of what it means, but the actual word and its precise definition are gone. Other variations like that, but normally they're adjectives or nouns for specific theoretical contexts; honors English vocab stuff. Anyway, I have a similar feeling about a different situation: I was at the beach thinking about seaglass, but I couldn't remember what it was called. I thought "sea glass" almost right away, but I thought there was another word for it that I had forgotten. I know now that that *is* the right word, but I can't shake the feeling that I've lost the "real" word for it. Have other people with PTSD or chemo brain had this sensation of missing a word or memory that was never actually there?
Today was the one of the worst days of chemo I have ever had. I endured chemo and blood transfusion. Yesterday I was in ER with issues breathing so I was already weak when I got there. Today I feel so sick...weak... I had to get a benadryl cocktail to rest. My emotions are off the charts...crying...I think I'm just tired. People are asking if I'm OK and I really can't put into words how I feel... I just need to rest today. This was brutal. I wish I could just go away right now. I need a break. Today I truly say...Chemotherapy Sucks! LOL!
