#cheating au

You swallowed hard, jaw set. You leaned back, arms crossed over yourself protectively. “Wow, Steve. Y’sure know how to comfort a girl who just got cheated on. If your goal was to make me feel like an even shittier person tonight then fucking congrats, you got what you wanted.” 

Steve ran a frustrated hand over his face, reaching out and grabbing your wrist as you turned away from him. He tugged you into his chest, head dipping low. His nose brushed against yours, his breath fanning over your lips. His expression was dark, full of unprecedented desire. “You know damn well that’s not what I was trying to do.”

You matched his presence, your lips just barely brushing against his. “Then what exactly was your goal?”

Your hip lit on fire as his hand grabbed hold, pulling your hips hard against his thigh. Your hands grabbed his shoulders tightly, fingernails digging into the fabric. The kitchen lights hummed low around the two of you, a small wall dividing you and the rest of your friends and your boyfriend. The risk should have deterred you, it would be so easy for him to round that corner to see you in such a compromising position. But it didn’t, if anything it sent jolts of heat rolling through you. 

Steve licked his lips carefully, the pads of his fingers digging into your hips. “My goal was to show you that you deserve to be treated better, you deserve more care, more attention to your needs. Tell me, baby, when was the last time he made you come?” He dragged your hips against his thigh again, smirking as you clamped your mouth shut to stay quiet.

You stared up at him, one hand threading into his hair and tugging in retaliation. “You saying you could do any better, Harrington?”

The challenge traveled straight to his dick. His knee lifted up against your heat as he clamped a hand over your mouth. Your groan came out low and muffled against his palm. “How bout I show you?”

Steve smiled as you pressed yourself against his knee, eyes sparking in excitement. He slowly removed his hand from your mouth, letting his palms settle on your hips. He dragged your hips across his thigh, letting the bone of his knee rub across your clothed folds. He could feel the spot growing wet against his knee, bringing a cocky smile to his lips. You bit the inside of your cheek hard to keep from exposing yourself. Steve looked entirely too smug for your liking. You let your hand shoot down between his thighs, palming his cock through his pants. He lurched forward slightly, knee knocking up hard against you. Your jaw tightened as you grunted against your teeth. “Shit-”

Steve’s head fell into your shoulder, his own low moan catching on your skin. He squeezed your hips harshly as he reeled back to look up at you. His eyes were hazy and filled with arousal. “You can’t just- holy fuck.” His words fell away as you palmed him harder before letting your hand slip into his pants.

“Hm? Were you saying something?” You cocked your head to the side, feigning confusion and worry. An innocent little expression plagued your features. 

Steve growled low, sliding his knee away from you. “You wanna play this kind of game, huh?” 

“I don’t know what you’re-” Steve's fingers found your center under your skirt, his thumb rubbing hard circles against your clit. You gasped, the sound getting swallowed by Steve’s mouth attaching to yours. You stepped closer, your free hand grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his face closer to yours. His tongue pushed into your mouth as your hand carefully wrapped around his twitching cock.

You soothed the leaking pre-cum around him in slow strokes. His tongue battled yours, his teeth knocking harshly against your own. You moaned into his mouth, letting him swallow the sound, as he pulled your panties to the side and slipped in two thick fingers. Your hips rocked against his hand, your cunt aching for more. 

Steve bit down on your bottom lip as you gently squeezed his dick before letting your hand slide up and down his length. His fingers jacked into your pussy harder and deeper, his fingers stretching out your tight walls. Your knees wobbled slightly as he let his thumb continue massaging your clit in brutal circles. 

In response, you let your thumb rub across his tip, earning a hitch in his breath. Your hold on him tightened, dragging back down to his base. His hips stuttered forward, his head falling into your shoulder. You gave him another hard stroke, letting his cock twitch in your hands as he came in his pants and in your hand. 

Steve dragged his teeth against your skin, a broken moan falling across your skin. He pumped his fingers faster, letting them curl deep in you. Your eyes widened as stars filled your vision, your pussy clamping down around his fingers. A hot wave of pleasure rushed through you as you came around his fingers.

The two of you stayed smooshed together for a moment, leaning against the other as you rode down from your highs and caught your breath. Slowly he pulled his fingers from your cunt, his digits dripping in your wet. You simultaneously removed your hand from his pants and brought your thumb to your mouth, licking it clean of his spill. He bit back a smile, watching you as he mirrored the action with your own pleasure. 

You smiled back, a small laugh falling from your lips as you hid your face in his neck. Steve straightened out your panties and your skirt, smoothing it down carefully. His own smile had made its way across his face, the high still rushing through him.

You rebuckled his pants, sharing the small moment with him. It felt strangely calming, standing there with him after sharing…. Whatever that was. You hadn’t felt so light after something like this in a long time. Typically, you felt the need to either say something light hearted or loving after completing some sexual act with your boyfriend. But with Steve? You didn’t feel like you needed to perform, not during, and not after. It was natural. And… you really liked it. He brought his hand up to your cheek, pulling your face to his in a gentle kiss.

The peaceful moment was short lived as the nagging call of your name echoed from the living room and into the kitchen. You pulled away with a quiet sigh, still pressed close to Steve as you answered. 

“Yeah???” You called back.

“Are you bringing the pizza in here or not?” He yelled.

Your eye twitched. “Yup! Just give me a second, you ordered a shit ton.”

“Well, get Harrington to help you or something, we’re all starving!”

Steve rolled his eyes, his thumb rubbing small protective circles against your side.

“Kay! We’re coming.” 

The irony of that statement was not lost on you… or Steve who was trying his best to hold in laughter. You smacked his shoulder hard. “Shut up.” You hissed.

“Ow! Y’know for someone who was just writhing in pleasure, you sure are cranky.”

You narrowed your eyes. “I was not writhing in pleasure.”

He crossed his arms with a smirk, “Yeah only cause I didn’t get to show you the good stuff.”

“Oh the good stuff?” You smiled, returning to the counter and grabbing three pizza boxes. 

“Y’know, I could show you.”

You shoved the boxes into his arms. “Um, yeah no. That can’t happen again.”

He raised a brow. “Oh why, cause you’re just so wracked with guilt cause your boyfriend is just so amazing?”

“Keep your voice down! And- well… no. But- it’s complicated.” You grabbed the rest of the boxed, balancing the 2 liters of coke on top.

“That’s a shit excuse. And I know you want more.” He carefully took the soda bottles from your stack, balancing them on his own.

“Oh? And how do you know that?” You challenged.

“Because I want more too.”

You glanced at him, weighing the options in your head. This was fucked up. Totally fucked up. But it wasn’t like you had been the first one to cheat… your boyfriend had started this whole thing. He had been cheating with random girls for almost a month now… and if he got to have his fun then so did you. You straightened up, walking to the kitchen entrance before turning over your shoulder to look over at Steve.

“He’s out of town for 3 days after Sunday… 8 PM Monday, key’s under the plant pot. Don’t make me regret this, Harrington.” 

You quickly made your way to the living room, throwing on a pleasant smile and announcing the arrival of the pizza. Steve stayed behind for a moment, staring at the spot you had just been. “You won’t regret a thing… Oh I’m so fucked.”

That night started a trend of stolen nights and hidden touches. It had started slow, calm, careful. Steve only came over when you were sure your boyfriend was either fucking someone else, or out of town… fucking someone else. Steve would swing by at least 2 hours after he left and woke up at the crack of dawn to leave with plenty of time to spare. He was careful not to leave any of his things around, making sure there was no sign that he had been over.

And then, you stopped really caring if you got caught. Steve would pass your boyfriend's car on the way to your house. He would leave just minutes before your boyfriend got home. He left spare socks or beer cans around the house, and you didn’t bother clearing them away. You stopped covering the hickeys left on your body, explaining them away with ease. And your dumbass boyfriend was none the wiser.

Every night started and ended the same. Steve would enter your house without having to knock, would hang out with you for a while. He would talk with you, joke with you, laugh with you, listen to you, make you actually feel cared for. And then he would drag you up to the bedroom with a hungry look in his eye. The two of you would agree this was “the last night.” And then the most world shattering, toe curling, back-arching, horniest sex would go on for hours. Then you would curl into his side, or take a nice bath, and the two of you would agree this was it, that this needed to stop.

Each time you told yourself ‘one more night’ you were lying. But that seemed to be what you did nowadays. Lying to your boyfriend, lying to Steve, and lying to yourself. Because each time he left and your actual boyfriend walked through the door you told yourself that the aching feeling would go away. You told yourself that you hadn’t fallen in love with Steve Harrington. You lied. 

You think part of you always wanted to be caught, that he would finally put the pieces together. Because maybe then, the truth would come out and there would be no running from it. Maybe that was the real reason you started picking fights more often, and started pulling your touches from your boyfriend. Because your body was tired of pretending that it didn’t know Steve's touch, that it felt satisfied under a hand that wasn’t Steves, that it loved another man. 

Steve was in the midst of losing his mind. You drove him absolutely crazy, in the best and worst way possible. Somehow, every little thing you did in public was like nails on a chalk board. Each time you touched your boyfriend's arm, laughed too hard at his jokes, kissed his cheek, leaned into his chest, it made Steve’s blood boil. Because he wanted you to do those things to him. 

There had been nights where he had almost put an end to this whole thing. Where he had almost gone through with the prior night's promise of ‘this is the last time.’ Nights where Steve had almost convinced himself that he could leave your touch, that he could free himself, move on, find someone whom he could love openly. But without fail, he found himself grabbing his keys and driving the familiar path to your house. It was second nature… and it was infuriating, you were infuriating. Which somehow, only made the sex better. 

Listen, Steve never claimed to be a saint, but he also didn’t exactly feel like he was a total piece of shit whenever your hands threaded into his hair, tugging him closer to your core. Because what both you and Steve knew was that the man currently acting like the most doting boyfriend in the world had been the one to fuck up first. He had been the one to break the trust with some random coworker. You were simply repaying the favor, but instead of finding new girls every week, you had managed to find a keeper.

Except Steve had never meant to be a keeper, and you hadn’t planned for him to stick around either. The first time it had happened was full of pure rage, hot scalding hate that had you unable to pull yourself away from his skin. 

Sex with Steve was always good, but nights when he showed up slightly miffed and needed an outlet were especially amazing. You could always tell when nights like that were coming. It was like a storm forming right above you. They tended to happen after particularly rough public outings, like dinner with friends, or parties like the one tonight.

His jaw clenched, his hand tightened around the cup in his hand. No. Not because Robin was exercising her uncanny ability to speak a mile a minute about every thought that popped into her head, but because behind her, just over her shoulder, Steve had the clearest view of you. You were tugged into your man's side, his arm wrapped around you like he thought that would make your heart flutter, like he thought it was some grand gesture, like Steve hadn’t caught him eating out some random girl in the bathroom minutes ago. Like the touch erased the lingering feeling of Steve's fingers on your hips. 

He had tried his best to ignore you, to keep his eyes trained away from you and that low cut top you were wearing. But no matter where he went in the large house, it was like your scent followed him, hanging in the air and suffocating him until he allowed himself to finally look at where you stood. It made him even angrier, the fact that you had this bizarre ability to overwhelm his senses even from 50 feet away. It was like his whole body was tuned into your presence. His ears caught your laugh from across the room, his eyes the movement of your thighs each time you looked over. It was completely overwhelming him. 

He needed nothing more than to be buried deep inside of you, making those sweet sounds he dreamed about every night. He could practically feel the phantom touch of your legs shaking around his head as he lapped at your aching pussy. He needed to see that stunning face you made when you came, yelling out his name while your fingers dug into his back. He needed to be reminded what it felt like shoving his tongue down your throat after you had come all over it. 

But he couldn’t have any of that… not now. Not with your boyfriend's claiming grip on your waist. And well, if he couldn’t make you scream his name in pleasure, then he was going to get you to scream it in frustration.

He pushed off the wall, murmuring some pathetic excuse to Robin as he moved past her. His eyes were locked onto you and the group of people you stood by. Steve was feeling particularly pushy tonight. 

He smirked as he stepped into the small ring of friends, watching in amusement as you shifted uncomfortably. He dipped into the conversation easily, talking wildly with the group. He was in the middle of some retail horror story from Family Video, his hands making grand gestures that had his beer sloshing around. You refused to look at him, instead leaning closer to your boyfriend. Steve took your distraction as a challenge, and before you knew it warm temperature beer had splashed onto your chest, dripping down your body and making your shirt cling even tighter to you. 

His eyes widened, a look of surprise and remorse filling his face. “Shit, I’m sorry, baby.” He turned to you, now openly taking a good look at the swell of your tits which were shiny with beer. 

Your eye twitched, jaw setting in place. Your boyfriend stared at Steve, brows furrowing as he registered the pet name and the blatant way Steve was checking you out.

You rolled your eyes, “Hey, at least stop checking me out, perv.” Your tone dripped with disgust. 

He laughed, holding up his hands in surrender, “Sorry, sorry.” An evil smile grew on his lips as his eyes locked onto your boyfriends, “Why don’t I go get some napkins? Help.. clean you up?”

Your head snapped up, eyes fiery. “Watch yourself, Harrington. Didn’t realize you made it a habit of pouring drinks on girls at parties. I do hope with Nance you at least had the decency to keep your eyes to yourself.” You pulled the sticky shirt away from your skin, groaning. “I’ll be back.” 

You turned, disappearing towards the kitchen. Steve stayed behind, shrugging at the group and giving them a small “whoops!” before getting right back to his story.

Your anger was palpable the rest of the night, eyes burning holes into the back of Steve’s head. You stalked him quietly, waiting for him to step away anywhere private so you could chew him out. But Steve was smart. He knew you were waiting to pounce, so he purposefully stuck close to Robin. It worked for awhile, until you had apparently given up on trying to keep things civil in public. 

You were behind him in the blink of an eye, a hand on his collar and dragging him away from the crowded living room. You shoved him into the kitchen, the couple making out quickly clearing the room after sensing the shift in atmosphere. The second they were gone you turned to Steve with red eyes. “Are you fucking serious, Harrington!? The fuck was that!? You purposefully pour beer on me and then oggle at my tits in front of my boyfriend? Are you out of your fucking mind?!” You shoved him hard.

“Baby-” Steve hid the small smirk as the fire in your eyes grew at the name.

“I swear to god, Harrington. Call me that shit one more time and I will personally see to it that you have negative 1 little harrington nuggets or whatever fucking dumbass name you call your future kids. You are so insufferable sometimes!? What in your right mind made you do that dumb shit? Do you get off on spilling shit on people, or are you just that fucking dumb? You feeling brave, Harrington? Keep fucking up my night and see what happens.”

Your chest heaved in anger. Outside the kitchen, Eddie and Robin cringed slightly, slowly backing away. To anyone who had heard the berating (which was virtually everyone within 15 feet of the kitchen), they would have assumed that maybe Steve was feeling some anger at being publicly screamed at, maybe he was even feeling a little guilty. 

No.

Steve Harrington was exactly where he wanted to be. He stood in front of you, a lazy smile on his face as he stared down at you. You had let his hands land on your hips in the middle of your rant. He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. “God, you’re so fucking hot when you’re pissed off.”

“You’re a dumbass.” You rolled your eyes, biting back your own smile.

He smiled against your skin. “I’m your dumbass. Fuck- what I would give to lick the beer off your chest right now. Holy shit, your tits looked so good tonight.” He pressed a quick kiss to the tender spot just below your ear before stepping away. 

You smiled, watching him come up with some snarky reply to please the prying ears. “Jesus, it was a fucking accident, don’t get your panties in a twist.” He made his way to the door, looking back at you and briefly whispering, “By the way, might want to reapply some concealer to your tits, I can see that massive hickey I gave you the other night.”

That night had sparked a major argument with your boyfriend. He wasn’t pissed that Steve had poured beer on you… no he was pissed off that Steve had called you baby and started at your chest. And not because he was suddenly connecting the dots, but because his dumbass felt inferior to Steve in the moment. He had felt like Steve was trying to out man him, which Steve didn’t really need to try to do that anyway. 

Needless to say, when he left the next night to go fuck some other girl, Steve was on his way over before your boyfriend had even grabbed his keys.

Steve had been addicted to a lot of things in his life, alcohol, weed, throwing himself into danger. But there was one thing in particular he couldn’t seem to quit, no matter how much damage it caused: you.

No matter how many times he promised himself one more night of pure love and bliss with you, he always ended up in your bed the next. Maybe it would have been better had you not actually cared for him. But you did. You always checked in on him throughout the week, asked him about work, his headaches, his heart. You made sure he always felt comfortable with what was going on, always encouraged him to tell you if feelings changed. You had done everything but speak the words that he knew would officially drown him: I love you. 

There was still a sliver of Steve that was ready to pull away if things showed no sign of change. But he knew if he heard you speak those words, he would willingly stay your little secret forever. He knew it, you knew it, and he knew you knew. That’s why you never did. At least for a long time…

Call it empathy or having a conscience, but you had started growing conflicted about your relationship with Steve. It wasn’t because you actually liked your boyfriend… you fucking hated him. And it definitely wasn’t you feeling bad about sneaking around behind his back. But it was because you felt bad for dragging Steve into the whole thing. You felt bad for making him wait. He was tired of waiting, and so were you. 

You called Steve late one night, crawling out from the sheets beside your boyfriend and padding into the kitchen.

He picked up before the third ring. 

“Damn, this is a late call even for you.” His tired voice rang through the receiver, “Already needing me to work my magic?”

“No, Steve, this isn’t me calling for phone sex.” You bit your lip nervously.

The sheets ruffled, Steve sitting up. “Something wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah-yeah… better than ever actually. I- Steve I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna put this whole thing to an end. I’m gonna tell Austin it’s over, give him the whole truth, lay it all out there. I just- I’m done hiding you. I’m done pretending like you don’t make me insanely happy.”

The line was quiet for a moment. 

“Really? You’re not fucking with me?”

“I wouldn’t do that. Not about this.” You spoke softly. Foot anxiously tapping against the tiles as you waited.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea-”

“Wha-what? I thought you wanted that? I thought you wanted to be a real couple-”

“Let me finish, goodness you're an anxious little thing right now.”

You let out a jittery laugh, “Maybe a little.”

“I was saying, do you think it’s a good idea to do it alone? I mean… Austin aint the sweetest guy, I just don’t want you in any position that could end badly.”

“I don’t think he would-” 

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Austin's ragged voice pulled you away from the phone. 

Your shoulders dropped in annoyance. “I gotta go, Steve.. He’s up.”

“Wait wait wait-” Steve called your name through the phone as you clicked it back onto the wall. You turned to face the man in front of you, hands on your hips.

“Did you say Steve?”

“Do you need your fucking ears checked? Yes, I said Steve. I was on the phone with Steve.”

His brows furrowed harshly. “Why the fuck were you on the phone with that idiot so late?”

“First of all, don’t call him an idiot. Second of all, I don’t think you really have room to talk. Just the other week you were up calling… Sarah was it? Or was it Amy that week? Maybe Patty? Leah? Damn, I just can’t seem to keep track of all of them. Care to remind me which girl it was that week?”

“How-”

“Cause you’re not the brightest crayon in the box, Austin. You’ve been cheating for about two months now, I would have thought you would have gotten cleaner about covering your tracks. But nope, lipstick on your collar, bills for hotel rooms, fucking letters from these poor girls, sex in public? Not your brightest moments.”

He stared at you, blinking nervously. “Thats not- I wouldnt-”

“Oh my god, cut the shit. I literally saw and heard you eating out Gabi Peron at a party like 2 weeks ago. She’s got a great fake orgasam.” 

That seemed to get under his skin. He stepped closer, fists clenched. “Well you’re just the bitch that stayed, how pathetic is that?”

“Nope, I’m the bitch that got even. You’re just too up your own ass to see it. I mean I haven’t really been hiding it anymore. You think it’s a coincidence you pass Steve every time you leave town? Think it’s a coincidence I get random hickeys all over my neck when you’re gone? Think it’s a coincidence that there is a pair of Family Video socks in our dresser? Again… not your brightest moment.” You cut him off as he opened his mouth to speak. “I’m not done. Here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re done. Now, either you can keep this whole thing nice and squeaky clean. Or we can air out everyone's shit… including the fact that I know your ass hasn’t gotten tested for any STD’s. Whichever one you choose is great with me. I just want your shit out of here by Thursday.”

He stared at you, dumbfounded. “I’ll… go get my things for the night.”

You nodded, “I think that’s the first good idea you’ve had in months.”

He quickly raced back upstairs. The front door swung open, Steve sliding into the house looking around nervously for some sort of brawl or argument. You crossed your arms. “Steve…”

“Where- where is he?” Steve looked around confused.

“Getting his stuff. He’s not staying the night.”

Steve’s shoulders relaxed. “Damn… I really thought I was going to walk into a massive fight,”

“Nope, I handled it. Just had to threaten to tell people he might have an STD. That was enough to push his ass out the door.” You smiled, leaning against the counter.

Steve made his way over. “Should’ve known you didn’t need any saving. My girl’s too fiery for that.” His arms wrapped around your waist.

You smiled up at him, arms looping around his neck. “Well, I still think it’s sweet you came over to check. Plus… I can think of something that needs saving.” 

“Can’t even go a few days without me, hm? She’s a needy little thing.” His nose brushed against yours.

You laughed, “Did you just personify my vagina in front of me?” 

“Totally did.” He confirmed.

“Well… she knows what she likes. She’s a hunter.” You both laughed, heads titling back in quiet giggles.

Austin appeared at the stairs, a duffle bag in hand. “Damn, you move fast Harrington.”

Steve turned, pulling you close to his side. “What can I say, I’m happy to finally treat my girl right in public.” 

You smiled as Austin grumbled and shuffled out the door. You flipped him off behind his back before turning back to Steve. “My girl?” You teased him.

“What? Are you not my girl?” He laughed.

“Oh I am, just getting used to hearing it.” You kissed his cheek.

“Well get used to it, it’s not going anywhere.”

“Really? You’re not gonna even give it a week?” You smiled.

“Nope, I’ve waited long enough.” Steve's hands ran up and down your sides. 

“Me too… honestly, Austin can tell the truth for all I care. As long as I got you I’m good.”

Steve nodded, his head dipping low and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss. He pulled away slowly. “I think this calls for a celebration.”

You rolled your eyes. “Baby, if you wanna have sex just say it, we don’t need to hide it in metaphors anymore.”

He nodded, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. “Alright, fair. Well, I would like to make sweet sweet passionate sexy love to my stunning girlfriend.”

You giggled, pecking his lips and nodding up the stairs. “Well, you already know the way.”

Steve had you pinned down to your mattress before you really had time to process it. His breath was hot on your skin. He trailed hot open mouth kisses down your neck, eagerly biting and sucking at your skin, unafraid to leave marks. He held down your hands by your head, smirking into your skin as your hips bucked up towards his own. He hovered over you, a heavy smirk and dark eyes gracing his beautiful face. 

“So needy already.” 

“Please, Steve. I really really need you right now.” You squirmed beneath him, hips trying to chase any sort of friction he would provide. He sat back on his heels, knees bracketing your legs. 

“Well, I guess since you’ve been such a good girl for me.” His fingers worked your sleep shorts off quickly. Your cunt shined in his face, already dripping wet for him. He quickly discarded his own bottoms. He carefully reached down, grasping your legs and pulling them around his hips, his cock sliding through your folds.

You let a loud whimper fill the air, pushing yourself closer. “Please, baby. I need you so so bad.” 

Steve grabbed your chin hard, kissing you fiercely as he shifted back over you. He lined himself up before slamming into you in one hard stroke, fully bottoming out.

Your back instantly arched, eyes shooting wide open. The stretch of him was so overwhelming it had you seeing white stars. You reached your hands up to grab his shoulders, he quickly grabbed your wrists, holding the above your head as set a relentless pace. His hips pulled back, before beating back into your throbbing pussy. 

Your mouth fell open, your own groan mixing with his. “So tight for me, always squeezing me so fucking hard. Bet you like this, being held down like this while I fuck you.” His eyes roamed over your face, watching as pleasure washed over your features. He smiled darkly, “Yeah, look at that face, you love this.”

He bullied back into you, your body pitching against the sheets. He let a hand travel back down to your chin, gripping you tight as slammed his lips against yours. Your mouth latched onto his, pulling and sucking at his bottom lip as breathy moans mixed together. His hand traveld down to the base of your neck, squeezing lightly. You groaned harder, pussy clamping down around him.

“Fuck baby- you’re squeezing me so tightly. You like this huh, being all needy under my touch.”

You nodded, “Only for you, Steve. M’all your’s baby.”

His hands held open your hips, his dick dragging against your walls even harder. Your breathing hitched, that familiar band of pleasure tightening.

“Fuck- Steve I’m gonna-”

“Nah, hold it for me.”

Your brows screwed together, chest heaving. “I don’t- fuck I can’t.”

He nodded, “Yes you can. Hold it for me, baby.” 

He pushed in harder, his own hips starting to stutter slightly. Your head fell to his shoulder, your teeth sinking into his skin.

The feeling was enough for him, “Alright baby, let go with me.”

He buried himself deep, your wave of pleasure clashing with his own and sending you both into a hazy trance. Your head fell against the sheets, hands holding onto his shoulders as he carefully pulled out of you. He groaned at the beautiful sight of his own arousal mixed with yours and dripping out of you.

He shifted lower, his lips latching onto your pussy lips without warning. You jolted up, hands in his hair. “Steve- oh fuck.”

His tongue lapped up the mess, sucking at you hard. Your head fell back again, body still writhing from your previous high. He brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing mean little circles against your bud. He groaned against your core, the vibration immediately reaching for that second wave. 

“Fuck- can’t last- I’m gonna cum again, baby” You whimpered, pushing his face deeper.

Steve had yet to come up for air. He was unable to pull himself away from you, the taste and feel driving him further. His tongue shoved deeper, his lips sucking harder, and thumb rubbing more quick circles. Your legs shook around him, the second orgasam pulling his name mixed with a loud moan from your lips. 

He lapped up the second wave before finally surfacing for air, his face messy with your slick. You grabbed his neck, pulling him into a messy kiss. The taste of both himself and yourself on his tongue was almost enough to send you into a third high. He slowly pulled himself away, smiling like an idiot. 

“Fuck, I love you.” 

You stared up at him, the confession hitting you hard. You smiled, pulling him into another long passionate kiss before pulling back and licking the remaining mess on his chin clean.

“I love you too.”

Steve beamed, pulling you into his arms and holding you tight. “Can’t wait to tell everyone you’re my girl.”

You kissed his nose, snuggling close. “And I can’t wait to love you publicly.

he steps into the room, and everything seems to still around him. not because he tries to take up space, but because he just does. tall, confident, effortless. he doesn’t need to raise his voice. he doesn’t need to try.

but the kids don’t stop. they’re too lost in their game, laughter bubbling up like music, tiny feet thudding against the floor as they spin in circles.

he lets out a soft sigh, a mix of exasperation and amusement and reaches for his watch, sliding it off his wrist. you don’t know why that makes your stomach turn, but it does.

“but appa, it’s fun!” one of them whines, dragging out the word like it might change his mind.

he laughs under his breath, shaking his head as he sets the watch on the table.

“fun, huh?”

jeon jungkook.

the reason you tolerate this job.

technically, he’s your boss. the one who hands you a generous envelope every weekend to watch over his kids. but “boss” feels like such a dull, inaccurate word for him.

because jungkook is something else entirely.

the way he walks, so sure of himself. the way he speaks, low and even, like he never needs to prove anything. the way his smile changes the whole room. or the way his brow furrows when he’s thinking, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek like he’s holding back more than just thoughts.

the way he shrugs out of his jacket, the slow roll of sleeves up his forearms, veins and ink peeking out with every movement—

you pretend not to look. but you do.

everything about him feels like gravity. like something you shouldn’t be drawn to, but are anyway.

“are they giving you trouble, miss ___?” he asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

he lowers himself onto the couch like he belongs there— because he does. his tie loosened, legs spread comfortably, one arm resting behind the cushions.

you take a breath, trying not to sound breathless.

“no, mr. jeon,” you say softly, eyes flicking back to the kids. “they’re just playing.”

his gaze stays on you a beat too long. unreadable. and then,

“take a seat,” he says, voice smooth. “you don’t have to chase after them.”

you nod and settle into a seat across from him. the cushions dip under your weight, and the room feels quieter somehow.

“yohan, yewon. come sit,” he calls. his tone is calm but firm, a slight shift in authority that even you feel in your spine.

they pause. glance at each other. then make their way over to you, slipping onto the couch on either side like you’re the center of some small universe they orbit.

“yohan wants to play more,” yewon grumbles, arms crossed.

“no, i didn’t! yewon noona said she did!” yohan snaps back, already offended.

you lean in, steady and gentle.

“hey. what did i say about pointing fingers?”

they go quiet. the room settles again.

“that it’s bad,” they mumble, voices small.

“and?”

“and we shouldn’t lie or blame each other.”

“that’s right.” you smile at them, soft but proud. “so, what do we say?”

they glance at each other again before offering quiet little apologies.

“good,” you say, your voice lighter now. “you’re both being so good. i’m proud of you.”

across from you, jungkook watches. he hasn’t said a word.

but you feel the shift. the way his body sinks deeper into the couch, the slight raise of his brows, the flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.

admiration, maybe. or something quieter.

he knows his kids. they’re sweet, sure. but they’re stubborn. they rarely listen the first time. almost never apologize on their own.

and now they’re sitting quietly beside you like you’ve cast some gentle spell.

he doesn’t say anything.

but he sees it.

and you feel it.

“kids,” he speaks up.

his voice is calm, steady. the kind that draws attention without effort.

the kids immediately look over.

“yes, appa?” yewon answers, tilting her head.

yohan just watches him quietly, eyes wide and waiting.

you look at him too, trying not to make it too obvious how your heart stutters when he shifts in his seat, forearms resting on his knees.

“could you go to your room for a bit?” he says, glancing briefly at them before his eyes flick back to you. “i need a moment with miss ___.”

“okay,” they both say in unison.

they each lean in to kiss his cheek— yewon on his left, yohan on his right —and your chest warms at the sight. it's so quick, so natural. something they do all the time.

he taps two fingers against the back of yohan’s head as a reminder, murmuring, “no running.”

“we won't!” yewon insists, grabbing her brother’s arm and pulling him into a slow walk up the stairs.

and just like that, the room falls quiet.

jungkook sits up straighter. it’s subtle, but you feel it immediately; the shift in atmosphere. suddenly, you're very aware of your posture. you mirror him, hands neatly folded on your knees, back straight, nerves prickling up your spine.

his gaze lingers.

“is everything okay, mr. jeon?” you ask, voice low.

he nods slowly, then reaches for the coloring books the kids had left behind— sprawled open across the glass coffee table. his hands move with quiet precision, gathering them one by one, tapping them into a neat stack, arranging them by size..

why does it feel like he’s preparing for a difficult conversation?

“you won’t need to babysit them,” he says finally, looking up at you. “for…” he pauses, dragging the word just long enough to make your chest tighten.

your heart skips.

your throat closes up.

was your crush on him that obvious?

were you too careless?

shit— what if this is it?

he sees the way you tense, shoulders rising, fingers curling slightly against your knees. he pauses, then adds, “for two weeks.” he nods, “ the kids will be staying with their grandparents for two weeks.”

your mouth opens slightly, relief just barely catching up to your confusion. “you mean... i don't have to come in just for two weeks? not like... fired?”

he chuckles under his breath, a soft huff that somehow makes you feel ridiculous and reassured all at once.

“yes,” he says. “just two weeks. you’ll continue on the weekends once they’re back.”

you exhale like you’ve been holding your breath for an hour straight.

he watches you with a small, unreadable smile.

“you looked terrified,” he murmurs.

“i thought i was getting fired,” you admit, cheeks warming.

“why would i fire you?” he leans back slightly, eyes still on you. “they listen to you more than they do to me.”

you can’t think of anything to say to that. at least, nothing that wouldn’t give you away completely.

so you just nod, eyes flicking down to your lap, trying not to notice the way your pulse hammers in your ears.

you swallow hard, thoughts spiraling before you can stop them.

of course you’ve been a little… taken with him. who wouldn’t be?

he’s attractive. older. confident in that effortless, dangerous kind of way.

but he’s also married. off-limits.

completely.

you would never cross a line. never do anything reckless. this is just a passing crush. something you'll get over in a few weeks. a harmless little fantasy.

so you blink out of it and look up to see... he’s already watching you.

leaned back, one arm slung over the couch, completely at ease. there’s the faintest twitch at the corner of his mouth ; is it amusement? a smirk? you don't know but, whatever it is, it shoots straight to your core.

you shift in your seat. try not to squirm.

god.

if he weren’t someone else’s—

a soft chime echoes through the house. not loud. not intrusive. just a delicate sound, like wind brushing across crystal.

you blink, the thought still unfinished in your head. the tension still caught in your throat.

then the door opens.

not slammed. not swung. it glides. quiet and smooth, like everything else in this house.

heels click against the marble floor. sharp. unhurried. certain. and you don’t have to look, because you already know.

ms. xinyi has returned.

and she doesn’t enter like someone coming home.

she enters like she’s stepping onto a stage. commanding, composed, every line of her body deliberate.

her dress is deep red silk; elegant, fluid, expensive in a way that whispers it rather than shouts. the kind of red that means power, a color that speaks of control. her hair is slicked back, earrings glinting beneath the warm lighting. a purse hangs from her wrist, small and sharp, probably worth more than your entire semester’s tuition.

you stand immediately.

not because anyone tells you to. not even because you’re afraid.

but because that’s what you do when she’s in the room. because it’s her name on your schedule. her rules you follow.

jungkook may be the one who stays, who smiles at pickup, who folds the envelopes with your pay.

but ms. xinyi is the one who made the call to hire you.

and the way her eyes sweep the room now, like she's calculating. makes it very clear:

she hasn’t forgotten that.

“ms. xinyi,” you say softly, a little breathless.

she doesn’t smile. she just nods once.

you’d called her “mrs. jeon” the first time you met her, hands politely folded in front of you, voice careful with respect. but she had only smiled, graceful but distant, and said, “please. address me as ms. xinyi. ‘mrs. jeon’ makes me sound old.”

and you’d nodded, of course. because when a woman like her tells you to call her by name, you don’t argue.

jungkook gets up, but he doesn’t move to greet her like you do. no warm hug. no soft smile. nothing like the way he usually welcomes her home.

instead, he heads toward the bar tucked into the corner of the large living room. a sleek, dark wood counter with crystal glasses lined up on top, all under soft recessed lights. he reaches for one, his movements smooth, and pours himself a drink. it’s not alcohol.

drinking alcohol isn’t allowed while the kids are still awake— ms. xinyi’s rule. one of many.

you watch the way his jaw flexes as he lifts the glass to his lips, his gaze fixed on nothing in particular.

xinyi's eyes skim over you with practiced grace. she sighs, so quietly you almost miss it, but she recovers quickly, expression smoothing as if nothing slipped.

“the kids,” she says. “are they asleep?”

you nod politely, your voice soft but sure. “they’re upstairs. had dinner already. yewon finished all her veggies this time.”

a hint of something that might be a smile curves on her lips. she nods. “good.”

then, without missing a beat, “what about their mandarin practice?”

you nod again, hands clasped in front of you. “yes ma’am. they learned quite a bit today. they were good, really focused.”

you aren’t just their babysitter. you were hired with purpose. ms. xinyi wanted her children to have more consistent exposure to chinese. they know the basics already— of course they do, their mom is chinese. but she’s barely home, and jungkook… well, he knows as much as they do. maybe less. so she brought you in ; to help them speak fluently, confidently.

you’ve spent time building a gentle routine around their packed schedules. school, homework, and everything else expected of kids their age, and you weave language learning into their downtime, softly, kindly.

sometimes through games, sometimes through stories. not always strict. not always serious. they’re just kids. and they trust you more when you let them breathe.

“thank you for your hard work,” ms. xinyi says, lips painted in a matching shade of deep garnet.

you nod, swallowing your breath. “of course.”

she walks past you, toward her husband. jungkook is now leaning against the edge of the counter, one hand in his pocket, the other wrapped around his glass.

he doesn’t speak when she approaches. just looks at her, calm and unreadable like usual.

she pauses in front of him and her gaze lingers.

then, with a glance back at you, she says, “can you tell the kids to go to sleep? tell them i’ll come kiss them good night later. they might fuss— but you can handle that, right? ms. ___.”

you nod quickly, eyes low. “yes, ma’am.”

you turn and head up the stairs, careful not to make a sound.

when you’re finally out of earshot, the calm cracks.

xinyi doesn’t raise her voice, but the cold edge in her tone cuts clean. “could you at least try to act like we’re in love?”

jungkook’s brow tics. he lifts the glass again, finishes the last sip, and sets it down with a soft clink.

“we’ve been acting for years,” he says quietly.

“so act a little better.”

there’s a pause.

she exhales through her nose, stepping back just slightly but never breaking eye contact. “you’re getting more distant every week, jeon. i can’t be the only one trying.”

“you’re not trying,” he replies, tone low. “you’re working. just like always. and now you’re mad that i’m not playing along like i used to.”

“i’m not just working for fun,” she snaps, though her voice stays poised. “we both agreed to this life. we’re business people. you of all people should understand.”

“i do,” he says. and he does. but that doesn’t make it easier. “i’m cooperating. for the kids.”

“then co-operate better,” she says, her words clipped. “when they come back from my parents’ house, they can’t see this—” she gestures between them, not cruel, just… resigned. “this cold.”

he doesn’t answer.

“my father thinks you’re slipping,” she adds.

jungkook’s jaw clenches. he doesn’t respond right away, but when he does, it’s only one word:

“okay.”

because what else can he say?

he can’t say he’s tired of this.

he can’t say he’s lonely.

he can’t say he’s barely holding the pieces together when everyone around him keeps demanding more.

so he says okay.

because that’s the only answer that won’t burn it all down.

“is mama busy again, ms. ___?” yohan asks, voice quiet as he snuggles deeper into his blanket, only his round cheeks and curious eyes visible now.

you’re helping yewon into her bed, gently fixing the corner of her plush bunny pillow when the question catches you off guard.

“hm? no, of course not,” you say, smiling gently as you glance at him. “she just got back home.”

“then why isn't she here with us?” yewon asks, a little pout forming on her lips as you pull her blanket over her, tucking her in neatly.

“because…” you draw out the word on purpose, standing up and placing your hands on your hips dramatically, eyes flicking between the two of them. “she needs to rest, doesn’t she?”

they both pout now, matching each other without even realizing it. you chuckle softly.

“don’t give me those cute faces,” you tease, leaning down to gently boop yohan’s nose. he wrinkles it with a quiet giggle.

but then his expression turns serious. “does mama and appa not like us anymore?” he says suddenly, so quietly it almost gets lost in the hum of the nightlight.

you blink, startled.

“han-nie!” yewon gasps, sitting up a little in her bed, “you can’t say that!”

“but it’s true!” he whines, glancing at her before turning back to you. “they’re always busy! especially mama! you miss them too, noona!”

you sigh, moving to sit at the edge of yohan’s bed. your hand reaches out to smooth his hair gently.

“you both know your mama works very hard, right?” you say softly. “and your appa too. they work so much because they love you. and when they come home, they’re tired. they just need a little bit of time to rest before they can give you all their attention.”

they both nod, but their eyes are still a little sad.

“plus…” you smile again, trying to cheer them up, “ms. xinyi told me she’d come up soon to give you both your goodnight kisses.”

that gets them to brighten a little.

“really?” yewon asks.

you nod. “really.”

“i won’t sleep till she gets here then!” yohan says quickly, determined now.

“me neither,” yewon chimes in.

you look between them and feel a tug in your heart. “oh and.. i heard you two are visiting your grandparents for the next two weeks,” you say, keeping your voice excited. “won’t that be fun?”

“yeah,” yewon says, “grandma lets us have lots of desserts!”

“and grandpa has a really big tv!” yohan adds.

“i bet they’ll be so happy to see you again,” you say, standing back up, smoothing out your skirt. “they’ll spoil you silly.”

“can you come too?” yohan asks suddenly, hopeful.

you pause, smiling gently. “i wish i could, yohan. but i’ll be right here when you come back, okay?”

“promise?” yewon says sleepily.

“promise,” you nod. “cross my heart.”

they both settle back down into their pillows, more at ease now.

you wait a moment, watching their eyes flutter slower and slower before you quietly reach for the door and close it with the softest click.

time to go home.

.

.

“i’ll take my leave now,” you say quietly, standing in front of ms. xinyi with your bag hanging neatly on your shoulder, hands clasped in front of you. your voice is calm, respectful. “please call me if you need any assistance before the kids leave for their grandparents.”

ms. xinyi nods once, eyes sharp but polite. “i’ll keep it in mind.”

you return the nod and turn to go, already picturing your long walk to the bus stop, the change of clothes waiting in your small apartment, the silence of a home that doesn’t echo. a far cry from this polished, glass-and-marble world you spend your weekends in.

but before you can take a step, she speaks again.

“do you go by bus, ms. ___?”

you pause, slowly turning back around. “yes, ma’am.”

her lips press together briefly, thoughtful. “jungkook will drop you off tonight.”

and just like that, he appears— quiet steps behind her, tugging on a sleek jacket, fingers adjusting the collar like he was already getting ready to step out. timing too perfect to be coincidental.

your eyes widen, a little panic creeping into your chest. “oh no, you don’t have to— i mean, i’m fine. really. this is… normal for me,” you say quickly, words tumbling out too fast, hands gesturing as if that’ll help your case.

jungkook glances at you once as he pulls the zipper up. his face is unreadable.

“sure,” he says, voice smooth and low. “wait outside for me. i’ll be there with my car.”

then, without waiting for your reply, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to ms. xinyi’s cheek. your eyes flick to her face, watching her expression shift for a moment— almost content.

maybe… they’re fine again? you can’t tell, but the tension that hovered earlier feels thinner now. less sharp.

he walks past, straight out the door.

ms. xinyi turns back to you, her hands now loosely folded in front of her. there’s a gentle smile on her face— elegant, polished, practiced. “i insist. it’s late. and it was my fault, staying too long at the office party. you had to stay extra hours because of me.”

“but miss—”

“i won’t take no for an answer, ms. ___.” the smile stays, but there’s weight behind her voice. soft power. “you know that, don’t you?”

your shoulders drop slightly, and you nod, looking down. “yes, ma’am. thank you for your kindness.”

you bow your head once, polite, and finally step out into the quiet night, where jungkook’s car is already starting up in the driveway.

the car is quiet. smooth engine, soft instrumental playing low on the radio. jungkook’s hands on the steering wheel. yours, clutched around your bag.

you sit straight, posture polite, and you’re hyper aware of him beside you — he’s relaxed, driving one-handed, leaning slightly back into the leather seat like this is nothing. like you’re nothing. just another person he’s offering a ride home to.

but still, your heart’s going a little crazy.

he suddenly speaks, voice low. “i was going out to get a smoke, ms. ___.”

you blink, startled a little. he doesn’t look your way. just keeps driving.

“that’s why my wife said i could drop you. you’re not troubling me or anything.”

you shake your head quickly, fumbling over your reply. “oh— okay. thank you. really. i was fine taking the bus, though.”

he hums, noncommittal. “still. late night bus isn’t the safest.”

you nod, lips pressed together. you want to say thank you again, but you don’t want to sound like a broken record. the silence returns, but it’s not entirely uncomfortable. just… a little charged.

you don’t realize you’re staring at his hands until you are — long fingers wrapped around the wheel, thumb tapping softly to the beat of the radio. his wrist, the veins on his hand, the simple silver ring he wears.

wow.

you swallow.

and then, without warning, he pulls over. not suddenly, but gently, easing the car toward the curb and shifting into park.

“you don’t mind if i get cigarettes, right?” he asks, glancing at you.

you shake your head. “not at all mr. jeon. take your time.”

he nods and steps out.

as soon as the door shuts, you let out a long, shaky breath.

what the fuck.

you’re in jungkook’s car. you’re in his fucking car.

it literally smells like his cologne. and the air freshener clipped to the vents and maybe a little like coffee. your fingers twitch, and you’re not even sure where to look — the leather, the sleek touchscreen, the dash, the mirror with that tiny photo of his kids tucked into it. you feel like an outsider just breathing in here.

he returns a few minutes later, slipping back in with a small paper bag in hand.

“sorry,” he mutters, adjusting his seatbelt and pulling away from the curb.

you don’t respond immediately. just watch the road ahead.

“no problem at all.”

the rest of the drive is short.

when the car slows in front of your apartment block, you quickly gather your things.

“thank you for the ride, mr. jeon” you say, already opening the door.

but then he gets out, too.

you freeze.

this— this is a small neighborhood. your apartment is in one of those plain buildings, paint chipped at the edges, a rusty bicycle chained to the stairwell. nothing glamorous.

you step out, feeling a little embarrassed as he looks around, taking in the area. and then he looks at your building.

“cute place,” he says.

you smile awkwardly, hugging your bag tighter. “o-oh. yeah. it’s, um, it’s fine i guess.”

he nods once, then meets your eyes again. “i’ll see you soon, ___.”

you bow instinctively, eyes flicking down. “goodnight mr. jeon”

he turns, walks back to the car. the headlights blink once as he unlocks it.

you stand there for a second longer, heart thudding, as his words echo in your head.

“i’ll see you soon, ___.”

he said your name without the “ms.” in it.

just ___.

you step inside your apartment with legs that feel too light. your fingers still smell like his car. and you close the door behind you, quietly, slowly, like you’re afraid of breaking whatever spell that was.

yeah. that was… intense.

the sun’s dipping low by the time you step out of the campus gate, bag slung over your shoulder, your phone buzzing with a low battery warning. beside you, minjun sips the last of his vending machine coffee, yawning dramatically.

“so you’re finally free this week, huh?” he asks, grinning. “no more mansion babysitting?”

you nod, pulling your hair back with one hand. “yeah. the kids are leaving for their grandparents. i think they’ll be gone for two weeks.”

“must be nice,” he laughs. “wish we got two weeks vacay too from this... hell-hole.”

“please,” you scoff. “never gonna happen.”

“rich people really live in another universe, huh.” he mutters, “by the way ___, if you ever disappear suddenly , i’ll assume they adopted you into their fancy bloodline.”

you’re about to reply when your phone buzzes in your hand —

mr. jeon.

you blink.

minjun peeks at the screen. “is that him? your boss?”

“shhh,” you hiss, already answering.

“yes mr.jeon?”

jungkook’s voice is calm. “ms. ___, are you free tonight?”

you glance at minjun, then ahead at the road. “uh— yes, i am.”

“good,” he says, and you swear you can hear the small smile in his voice.

your stomach does something weird.

“you're sure, right?” he asks

“yes,” you say, too quickly. “i’m free. do you need me to come over?”

“yeah. come when you can.”

“i will,” you nod, even though he can’t see.

and you hang up.

minjun’s staring at you. “sooo… you are not supposed to be babysitting but he still wants you over?”

“don’t start.”

“i’m just saying,” he raises his brows, “sounds suspicious.”

“bye minjun!!”

“text me if you end up in a scandal!”

you roll your eyes and wave him off, heart thudding harder than it should.

the kids are leaving. you don't have to babysit. he didn't call you for work.. did he?

you don’t know yet.

but you’re already walking faster.

the house was quiet when you stepped in.

jungkook opened the door, one hand on the knob, the other lazily tucked in his pocket. his expression was unreadable, as always, but his tone was polite. “hey. come in.”

you stepped in carefully, slipping your shoes off by the door. “thank you,” you said, eyes naturally glancing down the hallway, expecting to hear the kids, or at least see ms. xinyi pacing around on a phone call. but the space was… still.

“they’re not here,” jungkook said casually, as if reading your mind.

you blinked. “oh. they left already?”

he nodded, leading the way inside, you following behind slowly. “xinyi left this morning with the kids.”

you frowned slightly. “i thought they were leaving tomorrow…”

“yeah, it was sudden. her mom insisted.” he didn’t sound annoyed, just tired. “xinyi can’t stay long though. she has work, meetings. she’ll be back soon. but she asked if you could help out before she returns.”

you nodded automatically, because of course. “with what, exactly?”

“the kids’ stuff,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at you. “their mandarin folders, worksheets, the reading material. you know, that shelf you helped set up in their study room? xinyi wants it reorganized. she says it’s a mess.”

you smiled lightly. “it is a mess.”

“thought so,” he said, smirking a little. “you’ve got a few hours. i won’t be in your way.”

you hummed in agreement, already walking in the direction of the kids’ room.

“i’ll get started.”

it takes longer than you expect. papers are everywhere. yohan’s doodled over half the sheets, yewon’s managed to mix english flashcards into the mandarin set, and the books aren’t even standing upright anymore.

you roll up your sleeves and get to work. at some point, you stop checking the time. there’s something comforting about organizing their things— folding tiny papers, writing neat labels. it feels… peaceful. like you’re still around them.

and by the time you finish, the sky outside has turned navy blue and the hallway lights are dim.

you look around for jungkook. he hasn’t said anything since earlier. maybe he went out. maybe he’s in the study. but the house is too quiet. almost empty. he couldn’t have just… left.

you grab your bag and make your way downstairs, calling out softly, “mr. jeon?”

no reply.

you glance toward the kitchen. empty.

you pass by the sitting room. lights off.

you pause by the sliding doors that lead to the garden. there’s a breeze… and something else. something soft. a sound you can’t quite name.

you step outside.

and there he is.

standing under the open sky, alone, his back to you. the garden lights glow faintly along the grass. his dark hair moves with the wind. one hand is in his pocket, the other holds a slim cigar, glowing orange at the tip.

you don’t mean to stare.

but he looks… cinematic. loose black shirt. sleeves rolled. the way he stands so still, like the air doesn’t touch him. like he’s thinking about a thousand things you’ll never understand.

you clear your throat.

he turns slightly, glancing at you with no real surprise. “done already?”

you nod. “yeah. i didn’t want to leave without letting you know.”

he takes a slow drag, the smoke curling around his fingers before rising into the dark. “good timing.”

you hesitate, then walk a little closer. “why didn’t you go, mr. jeon? with them.”

his eyes stay on the sky for a second, then drop to the ground. “xinyi’s parents don’t like me much.”

that surprises you.

you blink. “why?”

he gives a quiet laugh, but it doesn’t sound amused. “they think i’m not enough. that i’m… not what they pictured for her.”

you look down. “but you’re—”

“rich?” he cuts in softly. “doesn’t mean i’m enough.”

you don’t know what to say to that.

he continues, flicking ash to the side. “i run too many things. i’m constantly flying in and out. the company’s in a complicated place right now. mergers. new investors. pressure.”

you stay quiet. listening.

just listening.

he looks over at you finally, the garden light catching his features. “it’s exhausting.”

your chest aches a little. he looks like someone who hasn’t slept right in days. you wonder if anyone ever asks him how he feels. if anyone even cares.

“sorry,” you say, softly.

he shrugs. “you didn’t do anything.”

you nod, then look away, eyes tracing the garden floor.

“how about you? college okay?”

you blink. “me?”

“yeah. you.”

you laugh nervously. “uhm… yeah. college is fine. tiring. the usual. rent’s going up though, it’s… whatever.” you roll your eyes a little and then you realise, maybe you shouldn't be telling him this stuff, so you quickly apologise, “sorry i didn't mean to say that.”

he watches you for a moment. “don’t be.” then nods. “you’re working hard. college. babysitting kids. you’re doing good.”

you grin a little. “yeah, i guess.”

he lets out a quiet hum, then turns back to the sky.

you both fall silent. the kind of silence that doesn’t feel awkward at all. you tilt your head back too, following his gaze.

it is a beautiful night.

he takes a longer drag this time, eyes falling shut as the smoke leaves his lips in slow swirls. his jaw tenses slightly, neck lines sharp against the collar of his shirt.

you look away quickly.

your heart’s doing something stupid.

you should go.

but… you don’t.

you stay.

you don’t say anything. don’t even shift your weight. you just keep standing there under the soft garden lights, with your bag still in your hand and your heart beating loud in your ears. and as the seconds stretch on, when he realizes you’re still there; still watching him, he doesn’t look surprised.

you don’t see it. not really.

but he smiles. just a little.

and then he speaks.

“you smoke?”

his voice is low. smooth, like usual.

your eyes widen a little. “me? no. not really. i mean… no. it’s not good for you.”

he raises a brow, amused. “mm. it’s not.”

you shift on your feet. “it’s addictive. and bad for your lungs. like. obviously.”

he hums, eyes still on you. “wanna try?”

you blink. “pardon?”

he flicks ash off the end, lets it fall with a soft hiss onto the wet grass. “just once. it's not like you will get addicted off one puff.”

you hesitate. heart tripping over itself.

because you know this is stupid. obviously. you’ve said the words yourself— bad for you, dangerous, addictive.

but your thoughts are running too fast and none of them make sense. your limbs feel slow and heavy like you’re melting under the weight of his attention.

you shouldn’t.

you really shouldn’t.

but he’s looking at you with that.. amused little glint in his eye, and his shirt’s a little wrinkled, and his fingers look really good around the cigarette. and you’re tired of always being the one who makes the right choice.

what’s so bad about one?

he watches you, smoke curling past his lips again, quiet for a moment. “it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“sure,” you say quickly, cutting him off. “i’ll try it.”

his eyebrows lift, surprised. “you sure?”

you nod, too fast. “mhm.”

he smirks, a slow little curve of his lips. “thought it wasn’t healthy?”

you roll your eyes. “just one puff.”

he laughs quietly, drops the stub of his cigarette to the ground and presses the toe of his shoe against it. then he slips a hand into his pocket, pulls out a slim case, taps out a new one and holds it between two fingers like it’s nothing. like it’s casual.

“here,” he murmurs, handing it to you.

you take it.

your fingers brush his when you do.

you almost gasp but you don't , thankfully.

your fingers close around the cigarette he holds out, but just before you bring it to your lips, you drop your bag to the side with a soft thud on the grass.

you place the cigarette between your lips awkwardly at first, but you pretend to be cool about this. you keep your eyes on him the whole time. never looking away, and he doesn’t either. his gaze holds you in place.

he brings the lighter to the tip, flicks it open. the soft click sounds loud in the quiet.

then, his voice.

low. rough. lazy. “breathe in slow. not too deep. let it sit for a second. then let it go.”

you nod, and your fingers tremble just slightly as you try.

he lights it.

the flame glows bright, just for a second. burns orange, then settles into a steady red glow at the tip. and his eyes never leave yours.

you inhale like he said. it stings— more than you expected. burns your throat, makes your chest tighten, but you try to hold it.

you let it sit. then exhale.

it leaves your mouth in a shaky stream.

you cough a little, just once, and his eyes darken.

“that’s it,” he says, voice smooth like velvet. “you can do it. that's it. good girl.”

your stomach flips.

and then you try again. slower this time. his gaze never leaving your mouth.

“just like that,” he murmurs. “see? not so bad.”

you exhale again, and this time it doesn’t burn as much. it still makes your head spin. but not in a bad way.

you glance up at him, your voice softer now. “i kinda like it.”

he hums. “yeah?”

“yeah. i mean. i don’t know if that’s… right.”

he chuckles, steps a little closer, his voice brushing your skin. “doesn’t have to be right to feel good.”

your breath catches.

his eyes trail from your lips to your throat, very slowly. you take another drag, just to have something to do, but he’s watching you like he’s thinking about a dozen other things he’d rather have in your mouth.

your fingers shake a little again, but you don’t drop it.

he’s too close now. too warm.

you feel it in your stomach. between your thighs. every-fucking-where.

and when he takes the cigarette from you and presses it between his own lips for a second, eyes locked with yours the whole time— you swear you forget how to breathe.

you’re so fucking gone at this point.

you can’t stop looking at him.

the way his lips wrap around the same cigarette you’d just held between yours. the way his jaw flexes. the way his throat moves when he exhales; smoke curling out of his mouth like it was made to escape him that way.

you don’t even realize you’re staring.

not until his eyes drag back to yours— sharp and dark, the kind that doesn’t ask questions. the kind that already knows the answer.

“fuck,” he mutters under his breath, barely loud enough to hear.

and then his hand is behind your neck.

you don’t even have time to blink. to breathe.

to think.

his lips crash against yours, rough and sudden and so fucking real. your whole body locks up in shock before melting into the heat of it. it’s messy. desperate. everything at once. he kisses like he’s starved, like he’s wanted to do this for longer than he’ll ever admit.

you’re not supposed to do this.

he’s not supposed to do this.

but your lips part for him anyway.

and he kisses you deeper.

his other hand joins the first, palms warm behind your neck, holding you in place like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. the still-burning cigarette drops from between his fingers and he steps on it, crushing it into the grass without ever pulling away.

your fingers twitch at your sides. you don’t know where to put them.

you just… stand there. letting him kiss you like that. letting yourself kiss him back.

it feels like a dream.

it feels too good.

your lips don’t stop moving against his. they can’t.

you’re already too far gone— breathing him in like he’s the first drop of water after a dry, godless drought. your hands are clutching the front of his shirt, dragging him down, keeping him close, greedy like you’ve been starving.

then suddenly, your breath catches.

you pull back.

“mr. jeon—” your voice is shaky, lips swollen. “shit.. i— we.. we shouldn’t... this is wrong.”

his hand cups your jaw, warm and grounding. but there’s something wild in his eyes. his voice comes out low, wrecked. “then tell me to stop.”

you stare at him. the garden lights behind his silhouette, the echo of your kiss still on your mouth.

you should tell him to stop.

you don’t.

instead, your fingers find his collar and tug again, hard this time.

fuck.

“just take me inside.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

“you’re so quiet,” he murmurs.

his voice cuts through the silence like a warm knife. his palm is on your head, fingers slow as they run through your hair, caressing in soft circles against your scalp. your cheek rests on his bare chest, his skin warm beneath you, rising and falling gently with every breath he takes. your hand is near his neck, thumb brushing the skin there, slow and absent-minded.

the room is still. faint moonlight slips through the sheer curtains, casting soft shadows across the floor. the sheets are pulled over the both of you, tangled between legs, your bodies tucked close under them — in his bed.

the one he shares with his wife.

you don't reply at first. you're thinking. you’re here, lying on a mattress you shouldn’t be on, next to a man you shouldn't be touching. and yet, your heart feels full. your body’s warm. you feel… good. and that’s what scares you.

he doesn’t say anything again, just keeps stroking your hair, so softly it makes your eyes flutter.

you were quiet, yeah. but only because there’s so much going on in your head. so much you tried to ignore earlier — the guilt, the reality of what you were doing, the wrongness of it all. you’d been quiet because you were trying to forget it. to focus only on him.

you stare off across the room, eyes fixed on a dark corner. not looking at anything in particular. just grounding yourself. and then your voice breaks the quiet.

“i can be loud.”

he pauses. then laughs a little, and you feel his chest rise under your cheek. “really?”

you hum again. “mhm.”

the next second comes as a surprise — his hand gripping your hair suddenly, fingers threading through the strands and tugging just enough to make you gasp. your head’s pulled up, gently but firm, so you’re looking right at him.

his eyes are darker now. and oh you fucking love it.

you love how easily he shifts from soft to rough. how he looks at you like he owns you. how your stomach flips at just the change in his tone. the power in it.

your lips part slightly, a soft moan escaping before you can hold it back. you don’t even blink. you just look at him. your eyes hazy.

he bites his bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth, eyes flickering over your expression. “what? you like this?”

you hum again. it’s all you can manage.

his grip tightens, just enough to make you whimper. not painful. but enough to remind you who's in control. his voice is lower this time. firmer. “use your words, doll.”

your heart races. you want to kiss him so badly your lips practically itch.

but you speak first.

“i love it, mr. jeon”

he exhales sharply through his nose, almost a scoff, but amused. definitely turned on.

“yeah?” he murmurs, already leaning in.

you nod. and his grip loosens. his hand trails down, cupping your jaw instead as he leans forward, lips brushing against yours.

and then he kisses you.

soft. slow.

his mouth moves over yours with the kind of ease that makes you feel dizzy, like you’ve kissed him a hundred times before. you sigh into it, pressing closer, lips parting slightly as his hand slides to the back of your neck, holding you in place. you moan just a little, not even meaning to; it just slips out, the warmth of his mouth too good to resist.

his tongue doesn’t push in right away. he just kisses you. sweet and languid, like he has all the time in the world. like this moment is meant to stretch on forever.

and when you pull away, your palm flattens against his chest. you feel his heart is beating hard beneath it. just like yours.

you don’t look at him right away. your eyes are on the curve of his shoulder. your voice is soft when you ask,

“does this mean we can never see each other again?”

he looks at you.

then he says, “no.” almost too casually, like you didn’t just ask something loaded. “why do you think that?”

you blink, eyebrows raising slightly. your palm’s still on his chest, but your fingers curl a little, pressing into his skin. “i mean… we just fucked,” you say, half-laughing under your breath, even though your voice is tight. “isn’t that, like, a major babysitter deal-breaker?”

he snorts. actually snorts. and you almost want to smack his arm.

“just act like we didn’t fuck,” he says, like it’s simple. like you didn’t just sleep with a man who is married and has kids you take care of.

is he being for real right now?

“we don’t see each other much anyway. i’m always at work, remember? barely have time to breathe.”

you raise an eyebrow. “but you had time today.”

he shrugs, shifting a little beneath you, head sinking further into the pillow. “i finished a bunch of stuff early. got lucky.”

you try not to think about how it’s you he got lucky with.

your fingers stop moving against his skin, and for a second, you just stare at him. he looks so relaxed. one arm tucked behind his head, the other resting lightly on your side now.

and then you ask, softly, “what about ms. xinyi?”

he blinks, like he forgot she existed for a moment, and then he sighs.

“what about her?”

“what if she suspects something?” your voice is quiet. a little strained. because the weight of reality is creeping back in, and you don’t know how to carry it.

he sighs again. not annoyed — more like, he expected this.

his hand lifts to cup your jaw, thumb brushing the corner of your lips. “don’t give her a reason to.”

you look at him, wide-eyed.

“just be you,” he says simply, like that’s all it takes. like you can just forget the way he kissed you like you belonged to him. like you weren’t crossing a thousand lines just by lying in this bed, with him.

your chest tightens.

you nod, but inside, panic floods you like a wave.

what if you mess up?

what if she sees it in your eyes?

he notices the shift in your expression and before you can spiral further, he pulls you back in.

his lips find yours again, slow and deep, and you melt into him just like that. your hand slides up to his shoulder, and your body leans in because he’s the only thing that makes sense right now.

when he pulls back, his breath brushes your lips.

“i need you to know this , doll,” he murmurs, eyes locked on yours,

“you’re mine.”

And so here I stand. In front of her apartment door with a bowl of snacks and a bottle of wine. Her friends usually prefer bear, but just like me, Jia fancies wine over bear. She always watches her weight and doesn’t like to get caught up on drinking bear and gain weight. I personally just don’t like the taste.

Someone finally opens the door, but it’s not Jia herself. It’s one of her friends. Some of her friends have already arrived and are busy with some games. I smile at the guy and walk inside.

The man joins everyone else in the living room, going back to the game as I place everything I brought on the little table next to the door and hang my coat.

Jia leaves her spot on the couch and walks to me.

“Hey, pretty.” She helps me with the snack and wine. She inspects the bottle. “God, I love you. Come on. We’re kicking Joe’s ass in the game. We’ll start the next round soon.” We walk toward the kitchen.

“I told you I don’t like games with dice. Dices hate me.” The guy, Joe, who I’ve seen only twice before, yells at Jia from his spot on the floor.

We enter the kitchen together. I stand by the snack table and put the bowl down as Jia brings glasses for the wine.

She pours us two glasses but pauses when her eyes fall on me.

“Stop being nervous. All of these guys are really good people.” I follow her eyes and just then I realize I’ve been fidgeting with my fingers. She hands me the wine. “I know you’ve only seen them a handful of times and some of them, you haven’t even met. But trust me, they’re all nice and friendly people. You’ll feel just like one of them.”

If only she knew it’s not the people I don’t know that I’m nervous about. It’s Taehyung. And being around him in front of Annie and all their other friends.

They’re still not here, but they will be any minute now.

I really wish I was sick so I could miss tonight. And trust me, I tried. But the universe really didn’t want me sick tonight. Therefore, here I am.

I thank Jia for the glass of wine, because I really need it right now, and take a big swig.

We join everyone else in the living room after talking a little, just the two of us.

There won’t be a lot of people here for tonight’s movie and game night. Unlike her usual parties and movie nights, this time there’s only nine of Jia’s closest friends here, and maybe four more people that haven’t arrived yet. Taehyung and Annie included.

They take longer to arrive than everyone else. By then, I’m on my third glass of wine and way more relaxed than before. I’ve made myself comfortable and have talked and laughed with Jia’s friends the whole time.

I really liked one her friends, Ryu. Jungkook was very easy to talk to as well.

It’s my turn to roll the dice, basically already a winner on this round, when the doorbell rings.

Jia opens the door for them herself. Taehyung and Annie walk in together. Annie with her big radiant smile, and Taehyung with few boxes of pizza and a bottle of wine.

As Jia and Annie hug, Taehyung’ eyes fall on me. It’s like he didn’t need more than two seconds to find me in a crowded room.

He looks at me and the smallest smile sits on his lips. But nobody noticed that except for me.

Warmness floods in my belly as I return the soft smile. Feeling glad and warm that he’s here. Now forgetting about all the reasons I felt so nervous and like a mess. Now, I’m just glad.

They join everyone around the big coffee table. Everyone have to sit close and friendly as we start a game that can be played by this many people.

I’m sitting on a cushion on the floor as Jia, along with Annie and Taehyung sit on the couch. Jia makes place for herself on her big couch, and since they are a couple, Annie and Taehyung share the armchair so there’s more space for others.

I bitterly sip my wine as I focus my attention on the guy next to me who is explaining the game for everyone.

The game starts with me, and it goes on from there. Soon, we all get immersed into the game. I even laugh a few times when Jungkook teases me and my playing strategy. But the excitement in me dies every time Annie attracts the attention of the room and I get reminded how she’s hugging and clinging onto Taehyung.

She doesn’t want people to figure out how their relationship is failing, and that’s what all these acts are about.

They’ve been together for so long, and that has made everyone they know to believe they are the dreamy couple. That there’s no possibility in which they could end up with anyone else.

Everyone saw them as each other’s soulmates. When it came to this couple, they couldn’t think of one of them without the other one. To everyone else, they seemed like one person.

And that might’ve been closer to reality for the first few years, but after a while, that only became their image. The reality of their relationship got way farther from that perfect picture.

The pressure and perspective everyone has been forcing on them is the reason Annie became too stubborn and obsessed with keeping the relationship. Too stubborn to let their friends and families believe anything other than what they already believed.

Even before me, they had come close to breaking up so many times. More than Taehyung could count. Their relationship hanging on by a thread. And each time, she found a way to force the relationship back together.

Taehyung even tried to end things with her once and for all, serious and determined about the decision. He felt how unhappy he had become in that relationship. How unhappy she was, too. But she didn’t want that to happen. Her entire life and personality was formed based on her perfect long-term relationship with the most gorgeous man ever and people’s admiration for them.

She was so invested in that lie that she didn’t want people to suddenly start seeing her as the poor girl who got left by her soulmate out of nowhere.

That day was long and messy, as Taehyung described it. They had their longest fight ever, which ended in tears and things breaking. Annie acted so weird that night, unlike anything he had ever seen of her.

She threatened to harm herself if he left her. Even almost acting on her threats before Taehyung managed to stop her from going too far.

She succeeded in keeping the relationship. After that, Taehyung never brought that topic back again. They still had arguments and fights after that, a lot. But he never brought up breaking up again.

No one else knows about this but me. I was the only person Taehyung ever told about the messed up reality of his relationship. It took him a while to trust me enough, but after he did, the horrible truths came pouring after another.

Annie was a good actor, pretending her life couldn’t be more perfect. But how can someone truly feel that happy if they didn’t feel loved by their partner? Taehyung on the other hand, wasn’t a good actor. Sometimes, he couldn’t help but wear his emotions on his face.

He felt unhappy and trapped. All because he didn’t want to risk Annie actually harming herself. He may not be in love with her anymore, but she was still a human. Just because he had no affection for her anymore didn’t mean he had it in him to risk her harming herself and taking her life.

So he forced himself to stay in that relationship and play along with the lie.

But the fact that they weren’t in love anymore didn’t justify our affair. I knew that.

It still didn’t change the fact that our affair was wrong and forbidden.

This round of game ends with Jungkook beating us all. We take a break to eat and drink and talk before we start the next game.

Almost everyone gets up from their spots. I don’t need to go anywhere, so I use my chance and sit on the couch, making myself more comfortable.

Annie finally leaves Taehyung’s lap and joins Jia and their friends in the kitchen. Some of the guys are still in the living room, but no one notices when Taehyung gives me a secret affectionate smile.

I’ve seen him smiling at me thousands of times, but it still doesn’t fail to make my heart race. Just like the first time it happened on the balcony of this very house.

I mouth “Hey” at him.

His warm smile widens as he mouths the same thing back. I open my mouth to talk to him, but Annie and some of their guy friends walk into the living room as Jungkook comes this way and sits next to me.

We act normal again. We don’t try to speak after that. It’s too risky to get reckless.

I hold myself back from looking at him when he picks Annie up from his lap for a second so he can get up from his seat and leave the room.

Thankfully, Jungkook fully distracts me from Taehyung and how much I want to be alone with him.

“What did you say you do?” He asks as he makes himself more comfortable and leans his back on the couch.

I laugh because this is the fourth time he’s asked me that question, counting the first time we met and he asked me that.

“I’ve told you so many times. I work with Jia and Annie.”

He softly chuckles. “I know, sorry. It’s just fun to mess with people.”

Jia hears our conversation and kicks him in the shin. “Stop annoying my friends, JK.”

He just chuckles and turns to me. His eyes fall on the empty glass in my hands.

“Do you want a refill?” He points down to my glass.

“Sure. Why not.”

He takes my glass and heads to the kitchen, taking his own empty glass as well.

In the corner of my eyes, I notice Jia looking my way. I turn to her and see her wiggling her brows with a suggestive smirk.

She leans in. “Do you find him cute? He’s recently single and trust me, he’s an amazing guy.”

My eyes widen.

“No, no.” I weakly protest. “I mean, he is cute. But we weren’t flirting or anything.”

“Why not? He’s a really good option, and I’ve noticed you’ve caught his attention all night.” Her face falls a little in disappointment.

“I’m sure he’s great. And he is very good looking. But I don’t think about dating right now.” I come up with the lie very easily. I’ve said that line so many times, it feels like an automatic answer.

Shortly after my break up with my ex, Jia started trying to set me up with people. She knows a lot of people, so the options were endless. But at that time, me and Taehyung were already getting close behind everyone’s back. So I nicely rejected all of her attempts.

She still hasn’t given up on it.

But she lets this time go when she sees Jungkook approaching.

He offers me my glass and I take it with a smile. He takes his seat next to me and we fall into conversation again.

Like I said, we’re not flirting. Not really. At least not on my side. But he’s an easy person to talk to, so I stay in his company for a while.

But this time, even he can’t distract me from Taehyung’s noticeable presence when I feel him entering the living room again. That’s the kind of effect this man has on me. I’m affected by his presence from a mile away.

While Annie is laughing and deep in conversation with her friends, Taehyung uses his chance and sits somewhere else.

On a cushion on the ground, right in front of me.

It takes all my willpower not to turn my head from Jungkook while he’s talking to me and look at Taehyung. I really want to, though. He looks extra handsome and attractive in his dark brown colored trousers and white button down shirt, with his sleeves up to his forearms.

I think he engages in a conversation with some of the guys himself. I’m not sure. But I do see how his head snaps to our direction when Jungkook suddenly asks.

“Are you free Friday night?”

It’s like the room went quiet, but it didn’t. Jungkook’s question wasn’t loud, only meant for my ears. But I’m almost positive Taehyung heard him too.

I’m kind of taken aback. I don’t want to be rude and reject him too harshly. He does seem like a really nice guy. So I settle for a short polite answer.

“Uh… I’m not sure. I need to check my plans. I’ll let you know.” I smile at him.

He doesn’t seem let down or disappointed. He just nods with a smile. “Of course. Let me know later.”

He doesn’t let me feel awkward after that. Changing the subject like nothing happened, before some of people sitting around the table decide to start a last round of boardgame before we put on a movie.

Jungkook seems interested to join them. He even asks me to join, but I politely pass. I excuse myself and go to Jia’s room, needing some alone time and privacy.

I use her en-suite bathroom for more privacy, since I know the other guys won’t be coming around here.

The same thing can’t be said about Taehyung, because the idiot walks in to the bathroom without knocking and closes the door behind him.

I look at him with horrified eyes.

“What the fuck?” I hiss. “Taehyung, you can’t be in here.”

“I couldn’t wait.”

“Why not? Wait for what?”

Without saying anything, he leans down and kisses me. He holds my face as he deepens the kiss. Melting my heart and my legs simultaneously.

It’s dangerous how little sense of self-control I seem to have when I’m around him. When he kisses me like this.

I lean back and catch my breath.

“Please stop doing that. We’re gonna get caught, Taehyung.” I hold his hands. “You’ve never acted this reckless.”

He sighs and hangs his head down.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He removes his hands from my face and takes a step back.

Suddenly I want to hit myself. I know it’s stupid and wrong to take this kind of risk.

But I don’t want to ever make him walk away from me like that again.

Fuck it.

I take his shirt in my hands and pull him to me as I crash my lips against his.

He doesn’t need a second to think again. His grip moves to the back of my head as he takes control over the kiss easily.

He kisses me hard and I fail to keep up with his pace. I move my hands to hold the back of his neck as I fist his shirts with my other hand.

I don’t want to let go. Fuck knows I don’t. That’s why I let him decide when he wants to end the kiss.

By the times he does, we’re both breathless and panting for air.

His hungry eyes move around my face.

“What was he talking about?” he asks roughly.

I’m still breathless and dazed by the passionate kiss as I speak.

“Who?” I ask in a daze, my eyes focused on his now pink plump lips.

“Jungkook. Did he ask you out?”

With that, my eyes snap up to his. “Huh?”

“Don’t make me ask a third time.” His voice gets rougher as he brings his head down closer to mine.

“Yeah… I guess he kind of did.”

“Are you interested in him?” He asks with bitter venom.

“What?” My eyebrows fall to a scowl. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not bad looking. A lot of girls like him. Are you interested in him?”

“No.” I respond almost loudly, offended he even assumes that, but then remember where we are and lower my voice again. “Taehyung, I’m not interested in him or anyone else.”

“Are you sure, though? He is single. You’d be able to go on dates with him everywhere. He wouldn’t have to keep you a secret.”

With that, I realize why he’s acting like this all of a sudden.

I move closer to him and hold his face in my palm, gently pushing the long strands of hair away from his face.

“What are you really mad about, Taehyung?” I ask gently.

He swallows and turns his head so his lips can touch my palm.

“I can’t. I hate that I can’t hold you instead of…” He exhales painfully. “I hate that I hold and touch her when I want to hold you. Cuddle with you. Kiss you.” He leans down until his lips kiss mine in the softest touch ever.

There’s so much pain in his voice, in his sad eyes.

I wish for all of those too. Doesn’t matter how many times I see them together, it never gets easier for me.

I shut my eyes and hold onto him tighter, letting him know that I understand him. That I feel the same way.

“I hate that he doesn’t know you’re mine.” He holds the back of my head tightly, like I might slip away if he doesn’t hold me close enough, and presses his forehead on mine. “If they knew, none of them would ask you out or offer you ride home. Fuck, I hate this!” He hisses.

I kiss his lips again before he loses control and becomes too loud.

“Shhh.” I plead with hurt eyes. “Please calm down.” I caress his cheeks.

“Please tell me you’re still mine.” He pleads with so much desperation. His eyes searching mine. “I need to believe that after everything that happens, you are still mine.”

“I’m yours, Taehyung.” I breathe out without waiting. “Nothing can ever stop me from belonging to you.”

He takes a second to search my eyes. He searches for truth. To believe my words are coming from the bottom of my heart.

And in that moment, something sparks in his eyes. A mad, hungry fire.

He crashes his lips on mine again. He doesn’t just kiss me, he devours me. And I’m already too lost to protest. No. I fuel his fire.

He pushes me into the wall. Still kissing the senses out of me as he brings my left leg up to his waist.

His hardening cock grazes my inner thighs and I can’t help but moan quietly. Still, he devours the moan with another deep kiss before he thrusts his hip into mine. My mind goes wild as I moan and groan in his mouth. All I can think about is that I need the barrier of clothes between us gone. Now.

“Please.” I sound so pathetic as I hold the back of his neck tightly.

“You okay with risking it?” He asks.

Unfortunately for me, he doesn’t just mean getting caught. He clearly doesn’t have a condom with him.

Why does he need a condom with me, you might ask, even though he had gotten vasectomy? That’s the unfortunate part.

As their relationship died slowly, they drifted apart more and more. Emotionally and physically. They stopped being intimate long before I was in the picture.

But the night that this happened was when we were already together. One night after a party, when they both drank a lot and Taehyung was drunk off his mind, he found himself naked on their bed the next morning with a naked Annie in his arms.

He didn’t remember anything from the previous night, but he didn’t need clear pictures to know what exactly happened. The dried semen on his thighs and her inner thighs were clear evidence.

Annie remembered everything though, but she wasn’t as nearly panicked as he was. She actually enjoyed it.

He never drank alcohol after that, not wanting to risk anything like that happening to him again. But Annie’s enthusiasm about that night’s events made him paranoid.

So, for my own safety, he decided that he will always use condom with me.

But I trusted him. And I wasn’t as paranoid as he was. So I nodded my head.

“Yes. Just be quick please.” I breathe out.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. He gently puts my leg on the ground as he quickly removes his belt. I want to take his shirt off really bad, but we need to be quick and with little damage to our looks as possible.

But I feel my makeup and hair are mostly ruined, anyway.

He unbuttons and unzips his trousers next as I get distracted by the gorgeous view. I watch how hard and fully erected he seems under those boxers. I want to drop on my knees so bad. But we’ll keep that on pause for another time.

He leaves his pants and boxers like that and helps me unzip my jeans. He gently lowers my panties. He slips his fingers between my lips and strokes the soft wet flesh. I swallow my moans as I hold onto his biceps.

He doesn’t waste time. He lifts me off the ground and places me next to the sink, knocking down half of Jia’s skincare around.

I reach for his boxers as he starts kissing and biting my neck. I pull hard at his hair.

“Don’t leave a mark.” I warn with a groan.

He groans and shuts his eyes as he brings his lips to meet mine.

“I don’t want him asking you out again.” His raspy voice makes my lower stomach to pulse.

“Not now.” I whisper as I go to remove his boxers.

I wrap my fist around his cock as I give him a few tight strokes. He hisses, followed with a moan as he brings his face down on my chest. He lowers my black top and bra and starts biting on the flesh of my breast.

“No problem here, right?”

He keeps biting and sucking as he guides his cock to me, pushing in without wasting any more time. We’re already short on that.

I whimper as he slowly pushes in me. He can’t really do that in one move. We’ve skipped all the foreplay.

He groans but he muffles it with my burning skin.

Suddenly, I realize this is the first time we’re fucking raw.

And it’s in my best friend’s bathroom while everyone are in the living room.

Taehyung wipes all thoughts out of my head as he fully pushes in with one last thrust.

My heart is beating like a fucking drum and we’re both panting hard.

“I have to move quick. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

I nod my head and hook my arms around his neck.

I touch his lips with mine just as he starts thrusting. One after the other, he keeps thrusting me to the wall.

He doesn’t starts with fast strong thrusts but his pace builds up very fast. I wrap my legs around his waist so he can go deeper.

I want to scream. But all I can do is whimper quietly. His hips ramming into me like a maniac, his raw cock hitting and grazing all the right spots.

We try everything in our power to keep our moans and groans in. Taehyung seems to be going a good job, biting his lower lip to keep all the sounds in. When I fail in being quiet and a moan escapes me, he brings his hand up from my waist and covers my mouth with his palm as he furiously pounds into me.

He might be able to cover the sounds escaping me, but there’s no way to muffle the sounds our slapping flesh make. God I hope no one comes around this room.

His movements become faster and sharper, forcing me to moan and whimper as the pleasure builds up in my lower belly.

His hungry burning eyes look right through my soul as he pounds his hips again and again.

I lift my butt off the counter, trying to match his thrusts with my own hips, but his pace is too fast for me to keep up with. He hits a perfect angle, and when he sees I shake and shut my eyes while digging my nails into his arms harder, he holds my hips up and hits that angle again and again until I break apart.

I quickly cover my mouth as I orgasm. I’m still going through the shock of the orgasm as Taehyung thrusts faster. He breaths heavy while holding me close to him.

He brings my hips down to meet his last hard thrust as he comes. He throws his head back as he lets out a deep throaty groan.

I’m basically off the counter now, my pelvic pressed against his and my legs wrapped around him. I cling onto him. Our chests touch each other, making us feel the hard pound of the other one’s heart.

He holds me close to him like that for few moments. His hands holds my ass up. He looks me in the eyes.

“I fucking love you.”

My heart pounds in my ribcage for a whole different reason than the amazing orgasm I just had. I look at his beautiful face, his flushed cheeks and gorgeous dark eyes.

“I fucking love you, too.”

He kisses me one more time before putting me down on my feet. We both let out a moan as he slips out of me. We both look down to where his cum starts to spill out of me and onto my panties.

I reach for some toilet paper to wipe the mess, but Taehyung takes the paper from my hand and kneels down in front of me.

He wipes the wet spot on my panties with his finger. His burning dark eyes follow the wet line on my inner thighs. He brings his fingers up and rubs me between the lips with the same finger and pushes his finger in. A sudden whimper escapes me as my nails dig into his shoulders.

“What are you doing?” I breath out.

He takes his finger out and stands up. “Let’s keep them in there.” His voice low.

“What?”

He ignores my confusion as he pulls my panties and pants up before adjusting his own clothes.

We take care of our appearance and wash up.

We speak at the same time.

“I’ll go firs—”

“You go first.”

I smile up at him. He gives me a warm smile and he leaves a soft kiss on my temple before exiting the bathroom.

I let a long and deep breath out. My lower belly is still in chaos, especially as I think of Taehyung’s cum still inside of me. The fact that he acted unlike he ever had and wanted us both to have a reminder of him on —in, actually— my body.

I run my fingers through my hair and try to detangle them.

I can leave now. He must’ve left the room already.

I open the door fully without checking the room before I walk out.

That, was my biggest mistake. I should’ve checked the room first.

I freeze in my spot.

My heart starts to pound harder than ever. Both Jia’s and Taehyung’s heads whip to my direction.

Jia’s words die and she looks at me. With the lights on, I can see the confusion turning into something else.

I feel like I might throw up. But I compose myself and gulp down.

“I think I got my period. I was looking through your bathroom for some pads.” The first lie that comes to my mind flies out of my mouth so easily, I can’t help but feel guilty.

When did it become so easy to lie to my closest friend?

“I’m done with my phone call. I’ll go check on Annie.” He casually says to Jia, his lie sounding way more natural coming from him than mine came from me.

Jia nods at him and moves her eyes to me almost immediately.

Taehyung walks towards the door. But just before he leaves, he turns his head to look at me. But I’m not looking at him. Taking my eyes off Jia doesn’t seem like a smart choice right now.

I just pray in my head that he leaves the room right now, before Jia notices how long he’s taking to leave.

Thankfully, when he sees me ignoring him, he steps out and walks out of the hallway.

I act casual as I start to walk towards the door too, but I don’t think I seem as calm and cool as I want to seem.

I get so close to the door, but before I can leave, Jia grabs my arm and closes the bedroom door in front of me.

“Were you really looking for pads in there?”

“What do you mean?” I play confused, with my heartbeat in my mouth.

“I mean, were you actually looking for pads in there? Tell me the truth.” Her eyes darken.

“Yes, Jia. I really was looking for pads there.” I sound calm and confident, but I feel anything but that.

She look into my eyes, then speaks again.

“Why was Taehyung here?”

“What?”

“You know what I mean, so stop acting stupid.” She says with more seriousness than I’ve ever heard her use.

“Jia, I don’t—”

“I said stop acting stupid!” She forces out, cutting me off. “I’m giving you a chance to tell me the truth yourself. Don’t ruin our friendship more than you’ve already had.”

My heart beats faster. I can see it in her fuming eyes. No amount of lies will fool her now.

“Jia, it’s nothing like what you think—”

“Then what is it like? Huh?” She gets louder than before, but still not loud enough to bring everyone else into this. “I know two people after fucking from a mile away. So don’t try to insult me by denying it. You’re both flushed and you fucking smell like him!”

I take a step back when she takes one forward, with fury burning in her eyes.

“Well? Talk!” She lowers her voice when she realizes she got loud. “Were you or were you not fucking my best friend’s long-term boyfriend in that bathroom?”

I open my mouth to answer, but my voice dies down. How am I supposed to respond? Everything I say will kill our friendship. That is, if it has already not died. All I can do is escape her livid eyes.

This is exactly what I’ve always been afraid of.

“How could you do this? I can’t believe that you’re a fucking home-wrecker! With Annie’s fucking boyfriend of all people?”

I keep my eyes down and try to breathe through my nose, feeling a minor panic attack approaching.

“Look me in the eye, damn it!”

I breathe again before bringing my eyes up to meet hers. Immense hurt and disappointment is slowly replacing the fume in them.

“Jia, please listen. This whole thing is not like what you think.” I take another breathe before speaking again. “Their relationship… and ours… it’s not what you all thin—”

“So what? You think you can justify this? Just because they have some small problems in their relationship?” She takes another angry step forward. “Don’t you realize what the fuck you were doing? You were just fucking someone else’s boyfriend under my roof! When his girlfriend and their friends are still sitting in the next room.”

A tear slips down on my cheek.

I start to explain. I don’t know if Taehyung would be okay with me telling Jia things that he never told anyone else, but that’s a problem for another time.

But just as I start to speak, Jia holds out her palm to stop me. Her eyes cold as ice.

“I don’t want to know how long you’ve been fucking him behind my friend’s back, or why. You will end this. You hear me?” She swallows the lump in her throat and brings her face closer to mine. “You will end whatever the fuck is going on between the two of you before Annie finds out about this. Either you do that yourself, or I’ll be the one to tell everyone.”

With that, she twists the doorknob she was holding and walks out of the room, leaving me without giving me a second glance, let alone a second chance to try to explain everything to her.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 ᰔ

I guess I'm incapable of writing anything with an ounce of fluff. I swear, I'll try next time.

Jungkook takes a deep breath, then presses in the code Siri gave him—the same one she uses for everything, since she never really hides anything. Not from him, at least (except her painful past about Phoenix).

The door unlocks and as soon as Jungkook closes the door, there Siri is, running towards him.

"Woah!" He's stunned and stumbles back a little when she throws herself at him. She jumps up where her arms wrap around his neck, legs around his waist, and her lips crash into his.

Jungkook catches her, making the bag drop from his hand, causing the snacks to hit the floor. His hands grip her ass and her back, pulling her tighter against him as the kiss deepens. Her mouth is desperate as if it isn't just horniness doing this, it's something else. Something deeper.

Jungkook pulls back just enough to catch his breath. "Damn," he chuckles, eyes so soft and warm on her, "that was a great surprise. You must've really missed me, huh?"

I did, she thinks, but she doesn't say anything. She just gives that teasing smile she always does before her nose brushes against his and she kisses him again, softer this time. Sweeter. She holds onto him like she's holding onto that silly little bit of hope. She kisses him, giving him everything she has and all the love she's too afraid to admit she has for him.

She doesn't ask if Jimin spoke to him. Doesn't ask if he'll stay after. She doesn't say anything at all. She just holds Jungkook and kisses him. 

And just like that, everything Jungkook planned to say vanishes. Every word, every intention. Gone.

He's not ready to say the words that will ruin this. He thinks having Siri one more time is what he needs, so he kisses her back with everything he has too. To him, it feels like her mouth and her arms are the only places his heart feels steady and safe, and her body in his arms feels like home, even though it shouldn't.

He carries her to her bedroom, knowing the place like the back of his hand. He places her softly in the middle of her bed like she's his treasured little secret—which she is.

They slip each other's clothes off, piece by piece, with minimal breaks between their kisses. When they're finally naked, Jungkook hovers over Siri's frame where he settles between her legs, all while he places warm open mouthed kisses down her neck and across her chest. 

He wants to taste all parts of her, worship her with his mouth since this will be the last time. 

Siri can feel his hard cock pressed against her core, and so she wraps her legs around his ass, digging her heels into the back of his thighs to pull him closer.

"Want you, Jungkook," she murmurs, brushing his hair back from his face. "Please."

It was almost like she was begging for him—for all of him. Jungkook could see it in her blue eyes and feel it in her tender touch how much she wants him, and god, it broke his heart a little 'cause if he could give his whole self to her, he would. 

He knew, in that moment, that whatever Jimin tried to tell him about Siri wanting just sex and the thrill, it was wrong. 

"You have me, baby," he tells her. You have me for tonight... For the last time...

He guides his cock to her entrance, sliding the tip up and down between her folds before he slowly pushes inside her, all while keeping his gaze locked on her. When he's all the way in with no more room to go, Siri lets out a soft whimper.

"Fuck," Jungkook breathes out while his eyes shut, overwhelmed by the feeling of being sheathed by her walls. She was all warm, tight, wet, and perfect in every way that makes letting her go feel impossible.

He rests his forearms on either side of Siri's head, caging her in as if he can somehow shield her from what's to come; their end.

He starts to move, slow and gentle at first as he wants her to feel everything. Every veiny inch of him. Every achy stretch of her walls. And he wants to feel her too, all her velvety ridges and the way she clenches around him when he hits the deepest part of her.

His hips roll in a way like he's doing body rolls on her, and every time his cock pulls out, he goes back into her a little harder. Each time, Siri lets out a sound that Jungkook loves to hear.

They kiss each other between moans and gasps, they nibble one another's lips occasionally, and their tongues entwine. Jungkook's thrusts become stronger and more intense, filled with a purpose like he wants Siri to feel him for days after he's gone.

"Shit," she rasps out while shutting her eyes from the intensity as she could feel that knot in her core growing. "Fuck—Kook..."

He grunts, moving a little deeper. A little faster. A little rougher. "I know, baby. You're taking me so good," he murmurs, kissing her jaw, her cheek, her forehead. "My favourite girl, you are."

Favourite girl? More flutters of hope come in, sending butterflies into Siri's stomach. Maybe Jimin didn't get to him... Maybe we can still keep this going... 

She wraps her arms around Jungkook's back, rocking her hips up to meet every roll of his. She grinds against him, needing that friction on her clit. Needing the feel of his body pressed to hers 'cause she loves his warmth. Loves it when there's hardly any space between their bodies. They can't get much closer than this really and that's how she wants it. 

She gets wetter, clenching around him tighter, and it makes Jungkook moan in pleasure. "Shit, your pussy's hugging my cock so good. So fuckin' perfect for me. Don't ever wanna leave."

"Then don't."

Jungkook stops thrusting as he stares at her, searching for the meaning behind her words. It’s all there in her eyes though, and it’s there in her parted lips looking like she wants to say more but doesn’t. It’s also in her hands as they move from his back to cradle his jaw so gently.

It was such an easy reply. Just two simple words that slipped right off Siri's tongue, but they carried everything she's too scared to say aloud.

Stay. Choose me. I love you. I'm scared, but can you love me too? Please don't abandon me...

Jungkook's heart is in his throat and guilt aches it's way into his soul when he sees the look in her eyes. He didn't need to hear her say anything else when her expression said everything. 

Siri's offering him her heart and it fucking destroys Jungkook because he knows he can't keep it. He's already made the choice to end things; to try and fix his marriage, to be the father Mingyu deserves, and be the husband Sohee is missing. No matter how much Jungkook wants to stay with Siri, he can't. Not without losing everything else.

That's when Siri sees it.

His doe eyes are soft, loving, even. But they're also undeniably sad. 

Somehow, Siri's always been able to read Jungkook and understand him. And she realises now, ever since he walked in her door, he's just been delaying the inevitable. 

She sees his pretty doe eyes go watery, telling her, I'm sorry. I wish I could stay. Wish I could love you. I wish things were different.

And just like that, her hope dies once again.

Her throat tightens, and her chest starts to ache. It feels like her heart's caving in on itself, and she has to close her eyes tight to stop the tears from coming. 

So this is it... This is the last time. This is goodbye...

Siri should've known better—well, she did know better. It's just that for the first time in seven years, she wanted to let herself believe in love and hope again. But as usual, hope brings nothing but disappointment and heartbreak for her.

Siri keeps her eyes closed while she forces her lips to curl into a smile, just enough to show Jungkook she understands. That it's okay. That she won't make this harder for him than it already is.

He sees the way she's pretending it doesn't hurt, and sees the way she's trying to protect him from her heartbreak, and it kills him inside.

Jungkook presses his forehead to hers, closing his eyes as he exhales a shaky breath against her lips.

Neither of them say anything as they both try to not let any tears through. They just hold onto each other, bodies still joined while their hearts ache. 

Siri then leans in and kisses Jungkook to take the pain away. He kisses back to deepen their kiss, slowly rocking hips against her again because he understands her, too. Both just want to forget about the ache. 

She tangles her hands through his hair, and her legs stay wrapped around his waist, keeping him close, keeping him hers—for now.

While Jungkook's length strokes her walls, Siri's lips brush against his jaw where she presses little kisses to his cheek, his temple, under his ear, and his neck—all the spots she knows that makes his heart flutter and his dick throb. She's so soft and affectionate about it all, her actions clearly tell Jungkook she loves him.

He hates that he can't do anything about her feelings except to try and ignore them and pretend they don't exist.

But then, Siri doesn't want it to be slow anymore. She doesn't want tender. It's too kind and too close to goodbye. It's too much for her already damaged and broken heart. 

"Harder, Kookie," she husks against his ear. "Fuck me harder. Make my pussy ache and only remember you."

Jungkook moans at her words. Not only was it hot, but he understood what she was trying to say. It was a plea; make this unforgettable for me coz I know you won't be back.

He stills inside her where he can feel her heart pounding so hard against his chest. It makes him already yearn for her even though she's right here with him. 

But she won't be soon...

With a heavy heart, Jungkook presses his lips to Siri's temple, giving her a soft kiss before he whispers, "Turn around for me, baby." 

He pulls out gently, allowing Siri to flip over and get on all fours. She arches her back and sticks her ass out for him, and Jungkook couldn't help but bite his bottom lip while he strokes his cock at the sight of her. 

He caresses her ass before he glides his hand down her spine, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin. He leans in, placing soft kisses on her ass cheeks before he reaches her wet pussy. His tongue dives into her hole, needing to taste her one last time.

Siri squirms from Jungkook's tongue fucking her, licking her as deep as he can go. She then feels his fingers reaching around her waist to rub her clit. He vibrates his digits in the way he knows she likes it, and it makes her mewl into her pillow while she grips her bed sheets. 

Then suddenly, the loss of his tongue makes Siri whine. "Kooook, I was close to getting there."

"I know, baby, but I want you to cum on my cock."

He doesn't give her the chance to whine more or say anything else. One hand grips her hips while the other aligns his cock to her pussy where he shoves himself inside her, deep and hard, just like she asked. 

Siri gasps as her body jolts forward, and Jungkook groans at the feeling of her walls wrapped around him again.

"Goddayum, you feel like heaven."

He watches himself pull out just enough so his tip stays in, then he slams back into her, making her yelp. He repeats this action slowly, wanting to ensure there's a loud, satisfying smack every time his hips meet her ass, and he wants to see his cock glisten with her creamy slick. 

And then he gets faster. Rougher. He spanks her ass hard, making her moan out, and then he squeezes both her cheeks in his hands, watching the red handprints bloom across her skin.

"God, your ass looks so fuckin' good," he huffs, breath ragged. "Love this tight pussy... love the way you take me."

The pleasurable stinging feeling of Jungkook's cock hitting her deeply makes Siri forget about the ache in her chest for the time being. 

But then he suddenly slows and leans over her back. One arm wraps tight around her torso as he pulls her up, bringing her body flush against his so her back is against his chest. Their bodies align perfectly, skin pressed to skin, chest to chest, and heart to heart once again.

"Look," Jungkook murmurs against her ear. "Look in your mirror, baby."

Siri furrows her brows in slight confusion, and turns her head to the side where she sees her mirror opposite the bed.

"Watch us," Jungkook whispers, his voice hoarse from the sex. "Remember this." Remember us.

Siri's breath hitches as she watches their bodies move in the reflection. Not only were they both totally sexy together, but she sees the way his tattooed arm is locked tightly around her torso, keeping her close, like he doesn't want to let her go.

She sees his other hand is on her left breast, fondling and massaging it within his grasp, while his hot mouth is on her shoulder, placing tender kisses on her skin. 

She sees the strain in his muscly thighs underneath hers, spread slightly to keep her legs open for him, holding her steady so he can fuck into her at just the right angle. Every thrust rocks her forward slightly and her body automatically goes back against him again where her ass ripples each time their skin meets with a loud clap. 

And then Siri notices something else.

The way Jungkook's holding her... it doesn't look like dominance and it doesn't look like possession. It looks like protection.

His strong arms are wrapped around her like a shield, his broad chest flush against her back, his solid frame envelopes hers as if his body is trying to keep the pain away. 

In the reflection, she doesn't just see a man fucking her. She sees the man who makes her feel safe in the world, even if he's about to leave it.

Siri lets out a shaky breath as she watches them move. She makes her right hand reach back to tangle her fingers in Jungkook's hair, keeping his face close to hers, while her left hand goes over his hand that's on her breast, moving it so it's on her heart.

Feel my heart. Feel me.  Feel the way you make me feel.

And then, she pulls Jungkook's left hand to her lips where she kisses the inside of his wrist, her action practically telling him; I love you, before she places it back on her breast (and heart) again.

Jungkook's heart skips and aches at the same time. His arms tighten around her as he lets out a whimper—a whimper he tries to hide by pressing his face into the crook of Siri's neck. He can't let her see his eyes, not right now. Not when they're burning and prickling with tears again.

But Siri sees enough.

Her eyes go glossy too, but she doesn't look away. Even though her heart is breaking, this is the final time, and this is hers. This is their moment, and she wants to remember them exactly like this.

Jungkook’s eyes are still squeezed shut against Siri’s neck, breathing her in, trying to memorise the way she smells, the way her body fits in his arms, and the way she holds his hand against her heart as if he holds it.

He's never felt such intimacy like this and it breaks him. God, he thinks bitterly, how fucking cruel is the universe?

Cruel for making someone like her exist. Cruel for bringing her into his life when he already promised himself to someone else. Cruel for giving him everything he never knew he wanted in someone he can't keep.

Suddenly, Jungkook shifts from being sweet and tender to something a little more rougher again. Just like Siri needed it harder to take the pain away, Jungkook also needs that too. 

His arm tightens around her as his hips start to move faster, pounding into her from behind while still holding her against his chest. His left hand slides down her stomach until his fingers find her clit. He rubs fast circles on her nub, going at the same rhythm as his hips. 

He hears her moan and mewl loudly into her apartment and it makes him want more. 

"Come on, baby," he breathes raggedly against her ear. "Wanna feel you cum for me. Let me have it. Give it all to me."

Siri's body starts to tremble as her walls clench tightly around his cock, making Jungkook hiss through his teeth. 

"Fuck, just like that," he groans. 

With his fingers vibrating harshly on her clit, that aching heat in Siri's core becomes too much and her orgasm hits. She cries out as her thighs shake and her pussy contracts around him. 

The way her walls pulse around his cock makes Jungkook's head spin and he can't hold back anymore. With a guttural growl, he leans back slightly, grabs her waist with both hands, and hammers into her over and over, each thrust rougher, deeper, angrier.

He's angry at himself. Angry at the timing of meeting Siri. And angry that he has to walk away from the only place he's ever truly felt at home.

His cock throbs inside her, hitting that sweet spot where he hears Siri's moan again, but louder and higher this time. 

"Fuck, Kook!" she gasps, her voice cracking as another orgasm makes its way from the intensity of his pounding. 

He's slamming his cock harshly against her wet pussy, creating sounds of thunderous sex, and Siri has to hold both her bouncing breasts in place. She quickly side-eyes her mirror, seeing that sexy determined look on Jungkook's face, seeing how his toned body fits with hers perfectly. Fuck, they looked good. Too good. Too sexy. 

If only this could last forever.

With a few rough thrusts more, they're both cumming together. His body jerks as he spills deep inside her, painting her walls white with his strings of hot cum, while her walls contract around him once again.

Jungkook's fingers dig into Siri's hips as he rides out their highs, and slowly, a lump forms in his throat as he empties the last of himself inside the only woman he's ever truly lost himself in.

When it's done, they both collapse forward onto the bed, all puffed out. Siri's cheek and chest rests against the sheets while Jungkook's chest presses against her back. Both of them are sticky with sweat but they didn't care. 

After some time, with a soft exhale, Jungkook gently rolls off her. Siri stays still, her body too tired to move. They lay there in silence for a long moment, side by side, too close for two people who are no longer allowed to belong to each other.

Then suddenly, Jungkook sits up, swinging his legs over the bed. Siri's heart races with worry as she watches him reach for his Calvin Klein underwear on the floor and pulls them on.

Dread creeps up her throat as she asks, "You leaving already?"

Jungkook glances over his shoulder and gives a soft shake of his head. "No. Just... hang on," he murmurs.

He disappears into the hallway, and Siri closes her eyes, trying not to overthink. Trying to not panic. She tells herself she won't cry—not yet, anyway.

A minute later, Jungkook returns holding a warm damp washcloth in his hand. He climbs back onto the bed and nudges her to roll over and to part her legs.

The cloth is soft and warm against her skin. Soothing, even. Jungkook moves carefully, wiping around her inner thighs, then between them. He's tender and delicate as if he's afraid of hurting her. As if this act of care is the only way he knows how to say I'm sorry.

It makes Siri's chest ache, but it also makes her smile.

She looks at him and the way his brows knit slightly in concentration, the way his tattooed arm tenses as he cleans her up, and the way he's still so gentle even after all the roughness.

"You always do this," she says softly. "Take care of me before we have a smoke to chill with afterwards."

Jungkook glances up, and the corner of his lips curve too. They share a quiet smile together, but then their smiles falter and drop when they both realise this is it. This was the last time.

Silence takes over for a moment, until Siri decides to break it. Even though she knows the answer, even though her heart is already broken in her chest, she still needs to hear it.

"This is it, isn't it?" she asks quietly. "We're done?"

Jungkook swallows thickly, his gaze falling to the cloth in his hand as he continues to wipe the mess from Siri's thighs. He gives a small hesitant nod. "It has to be," he says, his voice hoarse from the lump in his throat.

Another moment of silence before she asks, "Jimin talk to you?"

Jungkook nods again. "Yeah."

Siri closes her eyes, letting the ache take root properly now that it's real.

"Well..." she sighs in defeat, letting out a sad chuckle. "It was fun while it lasted."

Jungkook freezes for half a second on her thigh, but before he can say anything, Siri gives him a small smile. 

"Not bad for a mechanic," she says playfully, nudging his thigh with hers. "You really outdid yourself, Kookie. Might be hard to top that."

Of course Siri's trying to put on that unbothered mask she's learnt to use to protect herself. She needs it right now because she doesn't want to break in front of Jungkook. 

He lets out a similar sad chuckle, playing along with her facade because he doesn't want to fall apart either.

"Yeah? That your way of saying I was unforgettable?" he gives a smirk and it makes Siri genuinely smile. 

She shrugs, pretending to play it cool by rolling her eyes. "Maaaybe. But don't go getting a big head now. No one likes a cocky asshole."

Jungkook chuckles under his breath, eyes crinkling just slightly. "I won't. Promise."

They share a soft smile again where it lingers between them. It's like it was their last attempt to hold on to something light. 

But then their smiles begin to fade once again and silence creeps back in, but it was heavier this time. 

That was until a small thud on the mattress interrupts the tension, followed by the bouncing of four little paws. 

Smokey, the grey kitty-cat, hops up onto the bed as if he knew it was the right time to come. He lets out a single chirpy meow as he plops himself near the two humans, nosing Jungkook's arm for attention.

Jungkook lets out a real laugh this time. "There he is." His expression softens instantly as he reaches to give Smokey his well earned cuddles. 

He scratches behind the cat's ears and leans in slightly, his voice going into a playful, affectionate tone. "You always wait till we're done, huh?" Jungkook coos. "Such a good boy. Always so respectful of us."

Siri laughs lightly, even with an ache in her chest. "Honestly, I still don't know how he knows. It's kinda creepy."

Jungkook snorts. "He knows everything. Don'tcha little guy?"

The cat purrs, settling comfortably between them. In that moment, everything feels soft again. The humans both smile as they look at Smokey and at each other, but it's a smile that's trying to cover their aching hearts and shared sadness. It's their one last gentle thing before the goodbye comes.

Then, awkwardly, Siri looks away first.

Her fingers stroke her cat’s fur as she stares at the ceiling, blinking up at it repeatedly to stop any tears as she tries to find the strength and courage to say what needs to be said.

"You should probably go," she says softly.

Jungkook doesn’t argue since he does have to go. He just nods, but he doesn’t move right away. Instead, he takes some time to scan Siri's face; memorising her cute button nose, her sparkly blue eyes, her plump, luscious lips—every detail of her since he won't see her again. 

He leans forward one more time to pat Smokey gently between the ears. "Be good to your mummy," he murmurs.

Siri's heart flutters at that whilst tears brim her eyes, but she tries to keep herself together. 

With a deep breath, Jungkook slides off the bed, picking up his clothes from the floor and putting them on. Siri lets Smokey go so she can do the same. And then... she follows Jungkook to her door.

"Oh, uh..." he starts to say, reaching for the bag of chips and cat treats on the floor near the front door. "I got these for you and Smokey."

Siri takes the bag gently from him, smiling with thanks. “You know the way to a woman’s heart, don’tcha mechanic?” She wasn’t just copying what Jungkook said to her a couple weeks ago when she brought him banana milk to his work, she’s also pretending to be teasing, but there’s some hidden truth to her words. Because Jungkook does know the way to her heart somehow. 

He just smiles sadly in return and turns to open the door. Then, the two stand just there, staring at each other. Looking at each other with their eyes saying, I wish this wasn't the end. 

Automatically, like two magnets, they couldn't help but lean in at the same time for one last kiss.  

He holds her waist tightly while she reaches for his face, holding him there. Their mouths press together deeply, tongues entwining, tasting and holding onto the last spark of something beautiful before the dark takes it all.

When they finally part, all breathless, Siri gazes up at Jungkook, looking into his soft chocolaty doe eyes. "I hope you'll be happy," she says quietly and sincerely.

Jungkook swallows thickly. His heart aches so hard he wants to cry. The last thing he wants to do is let her go, but he has to.

He cups her face one last time and places a kiss on her forehead. "You too," he says. "You deserve to be happy, too."

Then, Jungkook turns and walks out without looking back. He's afraid if he does, he might not leave her. 

The door closes behind him with a soft click and Siri lets out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding. Her breathing is heavy as she stands there for a moment, staring at the door, willing herself not to fall apart.

Don't cry. You knew things had to be this way. 

She swallows the lump in her throat as she turns and walks to the kitchen. She drops the bag of snacks on the counter then grabs her purse. With shaky hands, she fishes out her cigarettes and a lighter.

Lighting one, she walks over to the window where she pulls it open, just enough to let the smoke drift out, then she sits down on the small bench beside it. She looks out at the night sky and the city lights, feeling the sadness that fills her apartment. 

Her eyes sting as tears start to prickle behind them. She exhales smoke towards the window, feeling like she's grieving again. 

She knew this wasn't forever. She knew things were doomed from the start. Because she's not the wife. Not the mother of his child. And... she's not the one who has his heart 'cause if she was, he would've stayed. 

Siri takes another drag and exhales again to try calm her aching heart. She blinks hard while her eyes feel like they're burning—but still, no tears yet.

But then, a soft meow breaks the silence.

Siri glances down to see Smokey hopping up onto the window bench beside her. He stares at her with those big, concerned eyes only animals can give. Eyes that say 'I know something's wrong,' even if he can't understand what.

Siri stubs out the cigarette against her window and flicks it outside before she lifts the grey cat onto her lap. He immediately nuzzles into her chest, curling against her with another meow before he purrs.

Just from that, Siri bawls. Tears slip down her cheeks as she holds him tight, burying her face in his fur. Her shoulders shake as her body curls around the little grey cat, desperate to hold onto something that won’t leave her.

"He's gone, baby," she mumbles through the tears. "Daddy's not coming back..." Her voice cracks.

"He has another family to love and look after. A real one. With a wife. A son. His true home..." She swallows the lump in her throat, trying to keep the sob within her from escaping. 

"And I—no, we—are not part of that. We never were... But we'll be okay, right?" she says with a weak, broken smile towards her furry friend. "We've got each other, right baby? And Yoongi too."

Smokey doesn't understand, but he stays in her arms and meows as if he does.

Siri closes her eyes as more tears slip out, soaking into Smokey's fur. She lets out a shaky breath, rocking her little furry king as she clutches him tighter.

It's okay. We'll be okay. 

Jungkook had to leave, and I had to let him go. 

After all... if you love something, you let it go, right?