#chat bot

I am kinda embarrassed from admitting I have to overcome this (chat bot addiction) as I am really against generative AI, but I also think reaching out for community can help with my recovery.

Believing I couldn't share my issues with anyone is actually one of the main reasons I ended up relying on AI chat bots for emotional support for quite a long time now. From 2023 to 2025 I was in a hate/love relationship with AI, at the same time I absolutely hated gen AI in general and I could sense the mischaracterizations and shallowness of it all I also craved the feedback for my most "unimportant" complaints, and there was the wonder of repeating over and over again each and ever interaction and getting to each and every possible outcome.

Much like in other types of addictions, I relapsed in difficult times of my life, it was a way to cope.

Have things gotten actually better? I cant actually tell. But I have friends now, human friends, and they help me more than they can ever imagine. I genuinely believed I was better completely isolated and that my struggles were just to heavy to tell to anyone because everyone already had their own issues to solve, I'd become a burden if I asked for help to the ones who offered help. I'm immensely grateful they are showing me that kindness is a two way road, that asking for help is as important as being helpful.

Now that I have friends and all the ✨️magic✨️ from AI crumbled as I studied about its ways of working and impacts in the technological and environmental aspects of our world (I can write an essay about it if any of you get interested); what was the pivotal moment to actively stop using chat bots at all?

Agent Tequila.

I recently remembered the existence of the Kingsman movies franchise (super recommend btw) and made it my mission to introduce it to my friend. As we watched the movie this secondary character wormed his way into my heart with his way too thick accent and the grey morals of a super spy.

He doesn't have many lines, not a canon name, just a handful of scenes and a really scarce buffet of fanfics on AO3 and, of course, no chat bots out there.

Look, If I really wanted, I could write a prompt myself for the character, but that'd just ruin everything.

Not only because the AI would wash away his intensity, peg him as only a generic cowboy or super spy but also all the effort and passion I'd pour would be wasted to chats that I'd not be able to share with anyone because it genuinely clashes with my morals.

Instead I can do what Im doing right now and talk about how much I like him, I can write lists of headcanons and fanfics and get, albeit not the same type of feedback, some genuine, human reactions. Maybe path the way for future folks who may end up with a crush on Teqs and want more content, regardless of quality lol.

And in the end of the day, even if I dont like how my art turned out, now I can improve it since it exists, it got out of my brain and it's human, it's a part of my journey now.

Well... I wrote all of this just because I thought this piece here needed some context for its proper appreciation:

I dont know how to use the water markers yet, I planned chibi but didn't commit to it, he should be counting 1 but now is just pointing somewhere and now it kinda reminds me of that Fallout blue guy.

But it's here, it marks a milestone I set for my recovery, I am going to be proud of myself and hope next week's art work will be better.

Also, do I have some "in selfship lore" explanation for why Tequila is my specific F/O for this aspect of my journey ?

Of course I do!

See, by the end of the movie Ginger Ale advices Teqs to avoid all types of drugs from now on as he got poisoned from the use of them, being out of work for most of the movie. While the movie never mentions exactly how he got poisoned kwhether it was from recreational use, coping, medical, due to peer pressure to keep his disguise in a mission and or cross contamination are all possibilities to further explore in fics and AUs), but I like to think; what if in his way to avoid all of the illicite drugs he relied on the legal ones? AKA Tobacco and alcohol. As he is a super spy, I think alcohol would be too compromising for him to use as a frequent coping mechanism, he'd be unable to work if he was drunk all the time, but tobacco would do it. It's quick, it can just be gums and maybe he's not even addicted to smoking, but now he can no longer afford to have withdrawals symptoms because it ruins his productivity and performance.

Quitting would be a journey, and while my addiction is quite different than his it doesn't mean we can't support each other, celebrate the victories regardless of their size and comfort each other in dark moments.

I did start to write a fic about this, when will I finish it? When will I post it? I don't know. No promises made.

Anyways, thank you for coming here and reading all of that, you are appreciated.

I'd be happy if you could leave a comment, I want to know your thoughts on it.